Director's Message for August 2012

Greetings, Sacred Path Community,

We’re better than halfway through summer and two-and-a-half months from the 25th Anniversary Sacred Path Men’s Retreat.  Time flies and there’s so much to attend to with seemingly little time to do it.  Take a deep breath, drop your shoulders and give yourself a few minutes to just relax and enjoy breathing  in some invigorating, revitalizing energy.  I recommend periodic 3-minute breathing breaks where you take 20 connected breaths.  The benefits are immediate.

In this newsletter you’ll find what two of the men, Dan Stanton and Phil Jennings, had to say about their experience at the Sundance Ceremony on the Pineridge, Lakota Sioux Reservation in South Dakota in early July.  You can also read a blog post on the Yoga of golf written by a friend of mine, Dr. David Surrenda, CEO of Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health.  Dr. Jed Diamond, a long-time friend and colleague, is launching a campaign to save a million men’s lives.  Read what Jed has to say about the program and his latest book. 

As an update, I’ve been buttoning up the last details of my new book, The Sacred Path:  The Way of the Spiritual Warrior, byline: Journey to Mindful Manhood.  It will be in print by October.  Every participant that registers for the upcoming Sacred Path Retreat, October 18-21 will receive a copy.  I anticipate that the book may be available weeks before the retreat so if you register early you’ll probably be able to get your copy in advance so that you can start reading.  I’ve invited some men to attend the retreat and to present information that they have been working on that can be most helpful to you.

 

We’re gearing up for a moving and memorable experience when we gather together to celebrate 25 years of service to the Sacred Path community.  It will be a reunion and many men who have attended throughout the years will be onboard to commemorate our quarter century of good work.  I would like to have 100 men convening for this milestone event.   I am personally inviting you to be one of them and extending an open invitation from the Wisdom Council for you to join us.  This is a great opportunity to invite a friend, a relative, or simply a man-in-need to attend. 

We’re considering a pre-retreat event gathering in September.  This would be an opportunity for you to bring someone who is considering attending the retreat but who needs a little more information and a personal experience of who we are and what he’ll likely experience on the mountain in October.  We’ll provide more information about this event soon.  But for now, I encourage you to use the link to complete the pre-registration information and to commence the retreat experience.  It gets under way once you commit.  If you’ve  already made the decision to attend, please pre-register now to reserve your spot.  It makes it easier for us when we don’t have to contend with a deluge of 11th hour registrations. 

In the spirit of brotherhood,

Stephen

October 2012 Sacred Path Men's Retreat Downloads

To download the information flier for the Sacred Path Fall 2012 Retreat, click HERE

To download the fill-in application for the Sacred Path Fall 2012 Retreat, click HERE

Two Visions of Sundance

The Sundance was incredible.  The energy of the spirits, Sundancers, ceremonial grounds, and the five days was beyond words.  Grant, Phil, Tim and myself were there from Sacred Path and we all were asked to help as Fire Keepers which gave us a back stage pass to the ceremony since we were directly helping the Sundancers through the 5 days.  There were approx 70 Sundancers (50 men and 20 women) and our day started at 5:30am and ended at midnight each day.  We each teamed up in pairs to take our turn in staying up all night to watch the fire and prepare for the next morning Inipis.  Even though we were going non stop during this time the days went fast and we felt no sense of being tired until after the Sundance was completed.  The magic of ceremonial space and time.  Andrew pierced all four days that piercing was performed and he was strong the entire time considering the amount of dancing he did, the fasting as well as the heat and sun during the day.

We constantly felt the presence of spirits and even saw spirits and rattling sounds on numerous occasions.  I think all of us experienced something that we NEVER experienced before and we came back with a whole new appreciation and understanding of the Sioux traditions.  We all were cooked by the fire and the sun, which took another layer of our onion off of our touch shells.  I think we will look at life and sacrifice from a very different perspective from this point forward... 

– Dan Stanton

~~~~~~~~~~

 

During the first week of this month, I and fellow WC members, Grant Mays and Dan Stanton, traveled to South Dakota to attend Michael Cross’s Sundance in support of our two Sweat Lodge Leaders, Andrew and Thomas.  For me, it was the first trip outside of California since the river trip several members of the WC enjoyed several years ago, so I was immediately taken out of my comfort zone and moved from my usual places of stability. 

This would be more than going to the mountain; this would be a journey into the meaning of ritual; this would give a deeper understanding of what Andrew and Thomas endured for the People (Lakota) and us; this would provide a background for the why sweats were done.

The first day of Sundance, which is the Lakota New Year, is tree day.  All in attendance trip out to the site where the selected tree was.  There was a caravan of cars that stretched at least a mile down the road.  The tree is chopped down (no chainsaw here), and before it can touched the ground, it is lifted by all the men and carried to a flatbed for transport back to the Sundance site, where it is placed in a prepared hole – again without touching ground from flatbed to the hole.

From that moment on we are in ceremony.  There are many things that happened following that moment that I have yet to fully process.  All three of us worked as Fire-keepers and assumed the responsibilities of such.  They are not just to keep the fire going that heats the stones for the sweat lodges (there were four); fire-keepers are the go-betweens and go-fors of the ceremony.

There are so many moments during the five days of dancing that it may take a year just to assimilate them all within.  There is a day that all the dancers pass by everyone in attendance and bless them with healing.  And on the last day, all the dancers shake the hands of everyone there.  The tree is removed from its hole, again without touching the ground, and carried to its resting place.

There is so much more that I could write, but what I wrote in my journal four days after my return seems to place it all in a nutshell: I went to Sundance to learn who I was to myself.  I went to Sundance to find myself.  I went to Sundance to support.  I went to Sundance to understand, to help and to be helped.  I went to Sundance.  At Sundance I learned humility.  At Sundance I learned my ignorance.  At Sundance my heart broke because of stupidity.  At Sundance, I came to know that I was nothing and nothing held me to its bosom and taught me to be something other than myself.  At Sundance I bathed in enlightenment and waded into its pools of understanding.

–Phillip Jennings

Jed Diamond: Campaign to Save Men's Lives

“I grieve for the men and boys whose lives are cut short and for the women and families left behind.  I’ve been looking for a way to reduce stress that is simple to learn, easy to practice, scientifically sound, and, most importantly, effective.  I’ve found what I’ve been looking for, have tested it extensively, and now want to get this life-saving information to as many men as I can.  My new book, MenAlive:  Stop Killer Stress with Simple Energy Healing Tools, gives men what they need to stop the stress that shortens lives and destroys relationships. Here’s my simple idea:  We know stress kills, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.  If we can reduce men’s risk of death to the same level as women's, we can save nearly a million men within three years.  Let’s get started.”  Within the next couple of weeks, MCLA will be providing more information about this campaign and how you can obtain a copy of Jed’s book.  This is his 10th book and for years Jed has been dedicated to helping men live better, healthier lives.  This book will make a difference in your life and you’ll be able to purchase a copy through our web site.

Golf's Yoga of Self-Discovery

by David Surrenda

In the summer, one of the things I do to unwind from work is play golf. Sometimes I have friends who laugh about why I would play a game that involves walking around a big field, chasing a little white ball that seems to go in lots of directions. I love playing for many reasons. The obvious part is a great walk, outside the office, around a beautiful park—that, in and of itself, is a lovely and relaxing experience. But the real reasons I love playing golf are subtler and a bit harder to explain.

Golf is a game in which failure and success seem to come in rapid succession. One great shot can be followed by another shot that is an abject mess. One moment you are feeling the joy and pride that comes with a great swing and the next you are watching your ball arc unceremoniously into the water or the woods. It is a test of one’s ability to be present with what is and to watch how your mind reacts to the pendulum of experience that is the golf game. Golf is more like meditation that any sport I know. It has all the experiences of having and losing control, all the sensations of flow and contraction, and all the elements of forgetting and remembering. No other sport seems to be such a perfect metaphor for the practices I do to explore the nature of my mind.

Even for the most successful golfers, it is a test of resilience and capacity to recover from errors and loss. The ongoing issue is how you will respond when you make a mistake. The most common experience (for just about every golfer) is to step into serious bouts of self-criticism, self-judgment, frustration, and depression—in that order. I can hear the screams and curses ringing across the golf course from the various players as they slam their clubs, look toward heaven for salvation, and tighten their faces into angry grimaces. It’s clear that most golfers feel cursed by some unseen god who is playing with them, torturing them with moments of joy followed by stinging experiences of failure. It is not uncommon for me to have a calm, mature, professional friend be reduced, in playing just a few holes, to a screaming, or conversely, uncommunicative person.

It’s all a matter of how you relate to your experience. For me, the flight and arc of the ball is an exquisite feedback system, revealing to me the mysterious components of the movement I have just performed. It tells me everything…if I am willing to listen and learn. It allows me to inquire, in my next swing, whether a small adjustment will change the physics and psychology of the experience. I can choose how I look at my experience: It can be the opening to power, clarity, and presence. Or it can be the hell of suffering, confusion, and emotional overwhelm. Golf is feedback that unfailingly reveals a complex system of movement in my body/mind. As I make subtle shifts in attention within myself, changes occur in my actions and the results that I get. Isn’t that what we tell practitioners to notice in any skill-building process?

We each hope for the “perfect shot” and don’t appreciate the remarkable experience of the learning curve when we don’t hit it. Expectations for certain results often distort our capacity to be with a learning process. The learning is actually equally as powerful and important as the result. I find that the journey is the destination.  

But really, don’t many of us just want the success? We resist the struggle because we fear failure and looking badly to others and ourselves. We wrestle with the process of letting ourselves go through the discovery process because we hate “not-knowing” and the fear of “not being enough” that is its sibling.

It is our ability to fully be with whatever experience we are having and to continue to gently explore adjustments that distinguish the learners from the deeply lost. Isn’t the same thing true in our relationships? If we are able to use the feedback from our relational experiences, we can flow with it and have the capacity for growth and joy.

There is a different challenge for those who consistently succeed. Our patterns of success can be the very thing that causes us to hit a plateau. Once we create a groove that helps us succeed, those habits become the path of least resistance. Often, we stop getting better. We pitch our “tent” at the spot in the mountain we have just conquered and fail to move on. The limits to learning are often set by the comfort we experience at a particular level of competence, even when it’s not all we are capable of being or doing. Many would rather have a limited level of success than explore the edge of what it means to be going for their full potential. 

Growth inevitably requires some risk: of falling backwards and not doing as well as before. The great golf players are constantly reinventing their game and discovering new dimensions of how to play. The great learners in life are continually evolving, exploring new capacities within themselves, new ways to think and act, new ideas, and new perspectives on life. The true battle we take on, when we are committed to self-discovery, is with how we approach our patterns of success as well as our habits of failure. The next step is always to discover how we are in our own way and to open the door to self-mastery, self-love, and joy in whatever work or activity you are doing.

I have found that when I am neither in self-judgment nor overexcited about how I am playing, I have experiences in which beautiful, flowing, and empty movement occurs. There is stillness in the movement that is breathtaking and results that are exhilarating and surprising. It is stillness that I find within movement and in this stillness I feel attuned to the Tao, the flow, and the wonder of life.

I think I know what is meant when they say I have “been bitten by the golf bug.” What “bug” has caught you, and how is it revealing you, in the most entertaining, frustrating, and powerful ways?

Blind Perspective, Vol. 8

Camp Shalom, Malibu, Memorial Weekend 1994. Dan and I are driving up Pacific Coast Highway in his silver-gray Eclipse with the sunroof open. The cloud cover has burned off and the blue of the ocean seems endless. It is our first trip together and we’re both so excited about his first Gay Cam0 experience.

We’ve been given our own private room for the weekend. We take our luggage out of the car and pass two teams of guys playing volleyball on the way. We get settled, create our name badges, and start meeting my friends from the past. This year the theme is about the masks that men wear. This weekend is about letting go of any mask that no longer serve us.

Our first workshop is outside. We’re instructed to make a mask out of Plaster of Paris. Dan and I help one another with forming our masks. It’s an amazing experience.

“Wow,” Dan exclaims. “It’s so weird to be stuck in a real mask. I’m painting my mask red to symbolize the anger I’ve carried and I’m going to let it go!” he proclaims.

“My mask is celebrating my creativity and the wonder of color in my world,” I tell him. “It’s got a native theme. It also depicts the light show that fires off in my right eye.” We both laugh.

“I’m having such a blast, Michael,” Dan tells me. “I’m so glad you talked me into this. If my ex could see me now, with an earring and blonde highlights in my hair!”

That evening, as the sun begins to set, we take a hike to one of my favorite spots on the campground. It’s at the end of a creek. We climb up the rocks and watch as the sun shadows the mountain.

“This has been the happiest experience of my life,” Dan says.

Director's Message for July 2012

Greetings Sacred Path Community,

You may be aware that we didn’t publish a June newsletter this year.  In all the years since the conception of the newsletter and then the blog, skipping a month is a first for us.  Preparing for and coming through the two events with Leonard Orr the first week of June and then preparing for my Mother’s Memorial on Saturday the 26th required a lot of focus and time.  Both events went smoothly and were very inspiring, and yet due to timing and capacity, the June newsletter had to morph into the July newsletter.

I had been invited to attend the Lakota Sundance on the Reservation in South Dakota.  It commences on the 4th of July and runs through the 8th.  I was grateful for the invitation and openly considered attending to support Andrew, Thomas and the others who would be dancing.  I wanted to see Soldier Bear and Standing Cloud and connect with many others in attendance.  In meeting with my editor on Wednesday, I came to the realization of what is required to finalize my book for publication by late summer. With heavy heart I had to make the decision to not participate in the Sundance this year.  We do have some men from our community who will be en route to commemorate Andrew’s 7th time dancing.

I know that I am called to remain here and put the time and focus into completing my book so that it will be in print and available before the 25th Anniversary Sacred Path Men’s Retreat kicks off on October 18th through the 21st. Each of you who attend the retreat will be given a copy of my book and a commemorative t-shirt.  The sooner I can bring it to print the sooner it will be available and those of you who pre-register for the retreat may be able to get a copy in advance so that you’ll have a chance to read it before we gather on the hill.

Please think of Andrew, Thomas and the other dancers during the 3 days that they will be in ceremony.  Reflect on all that they do for us on retreat.  The gifts that they bring and the sacrifices that they make for our benefit certainly deserve the Wopila thanks that we can at least offer through our prayers and donations to support them and the Sundance.

We are commencing the registration process for the October retreat now so that you can be among the first wave of registrants to reserve your spot.  We know that this retreat will be very well attended.  We will cap the attendance at 100 and we have good reason to believe that this retreat will be full.  I have heard from men’s teams that have been meeting for years that they intend to come as a group.  I have heard from men who have moved out of state and those who have not attended a retreat in a while that they plan to participate. 

At the 20th Anniversary retreat I considered that it might be the last, but on the Saturday night when men acknowledged what they had received through their participation in the retreats and that the Sacred Path Community meant so much to them, I decided to stay with it for a while longer.  That while has added 5 more years to the lifespan of the retreats. A quarter-century of events supporting men on a Sacred Path encouraging Mindfulness, merging with the significance of the 2012 “Global Shift” as we approach the prophetic date of December 21, does warrant a powerful celebration.

For many years we have left the fee for the retreat at $395 even though we have felt that the value far exceeds the cost and that our fee was way under what many charge for a retreat of this nature.  Our costs have gone up and we have been informed that our camp is increasing our fee starting with October.  Due to this we are increasing the charge for the retreat to $450, a fee that is still at least $50 less than what most charge.  The deposit to pre-register to hold your space is $225. The flier and registration form are included herewith.

I invite and encourage you to register right away by sending in your deposit to reserve your spot. I know it’s tempting to wait, and many have often waited until the last minute to register under the belief that there is always room.  We have tended to not turn anyone away and yet we do expect to have an outreach to many new men for this upcoming retreat with the intention of increasing our numbers.  We’re looking forward to seeing the regulars and several that haven’t been back in a while.  This will be a powerful event and we know you want to be there, so we recommend that you make the commitment now.

Wishing you a happy and healthy 4th,

Stephen