Los Angeles Men's Center/ Sacred Path

Director's Message for January 2012

2012-01-09T14:11:00.000-08:00

Greetings Sacred Path Community,

Well we’re now officially on board with 2012 and all that will unfold as we traverse the months ahead. Have you made any resolutions for this year? Celebrating the New Year with the tradition of creating resolutions can be dated back 4,000 years. It has been viewed as an opportunity to find inspiration for future goals and absolution from past mistakes. Many people make New Years resolutions and yet many never follow through with them. A British psychologist surveyed 3,000 people and found that only 12% of them accomplished their resolutions. The question is: Why do so many fail? Perhaps the simplest explanation is that we do not take the time to prepare and meditate on what we truly desire and what we can realistically attain.

What does it take to succeed in making a realistic change for the coming year? Neuroscientists Mark Waldman and Andrew Newberg, M.D. state that, “Ancient wisdom and modern science offer some sage advice: In setting an intention we need to carefully contemplate what we really value as important to us and then choose the one that is most essential for our well-being. Then we need to boost our willpower so that we can execute our intention.” I know this sounds simple and yet if it were that easy we would find that we had accomplished many more resolutions over the years.

Waldman and Newberg suggest that the difficulty is that we need to interrupt our brain's propensity to sabotage the plan. Researchers discovered that the people who had the most success at achieving their resolutions were those that were fully willing and committed to making a change. They employed certain strategies that changed the ways they thought and the ways they behaved. Those who weren’t successful tended to engage in wishful thinking and self-blame. Those who were successful utilized Mindfulness Cognitive Behavioral strategies empowering the brain to turn resolutions into reality.

In other words, if we choose the “right” intention, and apply the “right” kind of thinking with the “right” kind of action, we can stimulate the motivational centers in the brain to create a year of transformation and success. Swaha Ron Holman, who shared Navapashanam Water with us during the last retreat, has recently given me some information from the Siddha Yoga tradition on the practice of Sankalpa, a Sanskrit word meaning “will, purpose, or determination.”

Ron states that, “Sankalpa is a Declaration of Intended Truth... It’s like a New Year's Resolution with a yogic twist... The difference is that a resolution often zeros in on a perceived negative aspect of ourselves while a Sankalpa explores what’s behind the thought or feeling. At a deeper level One recognizes a Sankalpa as Truth!”

“To make a Sankalpa is to set an intention in the sense of a prayer or resolution formed for the attainment of a spiritual purpose directed toward a specific outcome. It is said that Sankalpa is a way of taking goal setting to the highest level and infusing it with one’s deepest knowing as connected to the Divine. It combines the deepest meditative mind with the power of intention, a combination that is known to have the capacity to change the thought vibrations of humanity. The Sankalpa is revealed as part of our inner work, our personal path, our spiritual practices that lead us to Experiencing the Purpose of Our Life.”

I’m inviting 20 men to participate with me on Saturday, February 18th in a Practicum designed to empower you to cultivate the Practice of Mindfulness with the intent of developing your deep intuitive knowing through the mechanism of expanding your experiential awareness. This ultimately is what gives one enlightened wisdom. Several men have registered thus far. There are still spaces available so I encourage you to register now to join your brothers for a day to set your intentions into skillful actions for 2012, a year of great anticipation. We will work with the information provided on the Siddha practice of Sankalpa as well as metaphysical concepts and strategies for creating personal alignment on the Sacred Path. You will experience Mindfulness Meditation and dyadic Conscious Connected Breathing sessions (aka Rebirthing). This is the only one-day event for men prior to the Spring retreat in April. Read more about this event and find your registration form in this newsletter.

Mark your calendars for the 25th Annual Spring Sacred Path and Call to Adventure Rites of Passage Retreat, April 12-15. This retreat will welcome men of all ages from 12 upward. Fathers and sons, uncles and nephews, grandfathers and brothers as well as mentors and young men wanting to be in the presence of good men are invited to attend. We will create a memorable experience as we provide some initiation of the younger men into conscious manhood. Registration information will be available by early February.

For those of you who like to plan ahead, our 25th Annual Fall Sacred Path Men’s Retreat will commence on Thursday, October 18th through Sunday, the 21st, 2012.

The next event for men and women will once again feature Leonard Orr for a weekend of events (June 8-10) including didactic presentation, experiential learning and community sharing. Leonard will present on Friday evening the 8th followed by a workshop on Saturday for those wanting to deepen their Conscious Breathing expertise and then an event on Sunday for those that simply want to experience the process. We had 50 in attendance last June and many are working with the recommendations that Leonard offered for making spiritual purification an important part of one’s life.

Here’s to a Happy, Healthy and Prosperous 2012,
Stephen

Register Now for February 18 Men's Practicum

2012-01-09T14:09:00.001-08:00

How are you dealing with the stresses of life these days? Do you get enough sleep, relaxation and rest? Are your nerves constantly on edge and jangled? In terms of your mood, are you depressed and anxious? Do you feel irritable and tend to snap at people? Do you awaken not ready for prime time wishing you could spend the day in bed? If you answered yes to any of these questions, consider that you’re fully human and a charter member of the majority of humanity that feels plagued by the pressures and duress of trying to keep up with the fast and frenetic pace of life today.

Here’s another question: Would you like to feel more in control, more at ease and lighter with a brighter outlook? The answer may seem obvious, yet as clear as the answer is, the mechanism to attain it isn’t necessarily so evident. Consider this: we may not always be able to control what occurs in our life and what happens to us, but we can learn how to exert greater control over how we react to it.

Mindfulness training provides the strategies and practices with which to weatherproof your life as well as maintain and sustain greater balance, equanimity and serenity. Being able to ride the daily ups and downs without being thrown makes living much less effortful. Setting the worries aside while dealing with your concerns in a discerning manner supports your capacity for taking skillful actions and manifesting resourceful outcomes. Calming the nervous system and attaining a centered presence allows for poise, focused awareness and clarity to reign supreme. This is the mechanism upon which our soulful intuition rises to the surface, guiding us to be our personal best.

Mindfulness training is based on age-old wisdom principals. You can think of it as a blueprint that lays out the structure for crafting your lifestyle to fit your own unique design. The elements tend to rearrange and fall into place when we sit quietly in stillness and silence and allow the inner voice of our deepest intuition to speak to us. Learning how to incorporate Mindfulness meditation into a daily practice can go a long way in providing the context with which energy moves into place. Learning how to breathe effectively in order to clean and balance our energy body strengthens our life urge and nurtures the revitalization of our cells. Energy becomes what we think, and thought is a divine creative force that has power and potential for great change mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually.

I am inviting 20 men to participate in a day of reflection, introspection and authentic self-examination of the blueprint underlying the foundation and structure of the lives that we’re living. During the time together we’ll explore Mindfulness strategies and learn useful spiritual purification practices involving the key elements of earth, air, water, fire and ether. You’ll have the opportunity to develop the powers of intuition through cultivating the deep experiential wisdom imbued with divine creativity and universal intelligence. During the event you’ll engage in experiences that are transformative and you’ll carry away the framework of a technology that is practical, useful and applicable on a daily basis. I invite you to be one of the men that will gather for this practicum.

To download the flyer/application, click HERE

Where Are All the Heroes?

2012-01-09T13:47:00.000-08:00

By
Stephen J. Johnson, Ph.D.

Where are all the real heroes today? Role models that represent leadership for our youth appear to be absent or in short supply. Many young men today lack guidance to prepare them for manhood. Positive role models that represent the fundamental qualities of mature masculinity such as honesty, integrity, compassion, a sense of social responsibility and a commitment to purpose are needed now more than ever before.

In fact, now more than ever, our young males are yearning for a sense of belonging. Inner city youth, succumbing to the dramatic absence of fathering and mentoring, turn to urban gangs for a sense of belonging. Males from privileged backgrounds perceive acquisitions as the measure of manhood. It is evident that young men from all backgrounds have entered a troubled world with little guidance, diminished preparation and dashed hope.

In a time of our ancestors, tribes would initiate young men into manhood through a rite of passage. The elders of the tribe to ritualize the young man’s journey into maturity would facilitate a ceremony involving some form of challenge.

As the ones who created the world our youth will inherit, it is our job to prepare our young people for the journey ahead. Although we cannot provide them with their answers, we can point them in the direction of the right questions to ask and equip them with tools for their process of self-discovery. The Call to Adventure Retreat is a rare opportunity for young men to become heroes in their own lives and leaders in their community.

THE CALL TO ADVENTURE RETREAT offers contemporary rites of passage into manhood for young men. This is an ideal bonding experience for fathers and sons. In today’s culture, it is critical that young men have pivotal experiences that present a model of true manhood. This retreat is that transformational adventure!

Not only for fathers and sons, but for spiritual warriors of all ages… a four-day vision quest into the heart of one’s soul that includes discussions, stories, leadership and following processes, a team building ropes course, workshops, sacred ceremony, time for introspection, self-reflection and meditation all geared to providing dynamic opportunities to discover one’s authentic self within a context of safety, acceptance, understanding and love.

We endeavor to open the world of conscious manhood to those seeking enhanced awareness, clarity of values, sharpened skills and a mature masculinity modeling what it means to be a good man today. We will not be mailing out the flier but rather will spread the word via the Internet and interpersonal contact. Please pass this message to those that you would like to invite and you can also download and print the flier to hand out. We’re looking forward to assembling upwards of 80 participants for this very special event and we sincerely hope that you’ll choose to be with us.

Partial and full scholarships are awarded based on request and established by need. At this point we have approximately $1,000 and another $4-5,000 committed from two of our men in support of our upcoming 25th Annual Spring Sacred Path Men’s Retreat happening concurrently with the 13th Annual Call To Adventure Retreat. Their committed donations are earmarked for the CTA portion of the combined retreat (April 12-15, 2012). We would like to increase this fund by at least $5,000 in order to bring more deserving boys and mentors to the SP/CTA Spring Retreat. For each $500 that is donated we can fully scholarship one participant. Please consider making a donation or getting the message out to sources capable of contributing to our Scholarship Funds. All donations in any amount are welcomed and greatly appreciated.

For those wishing to donate to assist men in need, you can earmark your donation for the Conrad Burke Memorial Scholarship Fund. If you wish to contribute to our youth scholarship fund, you can earmark your donation for the Walter Atkinson Memorial Scholarship Fund. Checks may be made out to Millennium Oaks Institute that manages our scholarship programs. M.O.I is a 501c3 Not-For-Profit Organization that is overseen by Charlie Atkinson, Walter’s son. Thank you for your generous support of our programs.

You’re invited to participate with a group of dedicated individuals committed to supporting the work of the Men’s Center Los Angeles through our efforts to provide inner city boys the opportunity to have a memorable experience of conscious manhood. There are a number of areas in this endeavor that can use more manpower. MCLA is working in collaboration with Supervisor Mark Ridley-Thomas and the Los Angeles County Second District, C.U.R.E., USC coach Pete Carroll’s A Better LA, UNITY, those in prevention with LAPD, LA County Probation, County of LA Sheriff’s Department as well as LA County Parks and Recreation to expand our youth enhancement program. We sincerely hope that you’ll favorably consider joining us.

Our mission is to offer these retreats to more young males residing in the inner city. Upwards of 80% of African American children in south central Los Angeles and other urban areas across the nation are growing up without a biological father in the home, and we want to make a positive difference. Our current focus is on reaching out to private and corporate sponsors to help underwrite this program. Please consider making a contribution to our scholarship programs to support men and boys worthy of our help. On behalf of the men of the Sacred Path Wisdom Council, I thank you for your consideration of this request. Please notify us of your intention to make a contribution and we will discuss your preferred method of payment and provide further information concerning a tax deduction.

The 13th annual CTA is fast approaching. The event commences Thursday afternoon, April 12th, and concludes Sunday afternoon, April 15th 2012. It takes place on a hilltop overlooking the coastline, just beyond the Malibu city limits in Ventura County. A varied menu and comfortable lodging are provided. An enriching experience is promised. An adventure of personal development is guaranteed.

Visit our web site, www.menscenterlosangeles.com, to read more about our programs and this upcoming retreat. Listen to audio recordings and view videos that illustrate what has been accomplished when good men come together to make a positive difference in their own lives and the lives of others.

Sleep Apnea

2012-01-08T14:27:00.000-08:00

[I remember Andrew Soliz speaking in the community at the Fall Retreat about his sleep apnea condition and am pleased that we have a direct testimonial from one of the men who benefited from that sharing. That is the overall blessing of men being honest with each other about personal things that one might normally keep to oneself. I thought it might be helpful to put this letter from Bruce Figoten to Andrew in the newsletter with an encouraging statement for men with symptoms to go get checked. It can save a life.
Stephen]

Here is Bruce’s letter:

Hi Andrew,

I want to take this opportunity to thank you for your innate wisdom and courage during the last men's retreat. You told your story about your sleep apnea and also stated that there was a place for western medicine as well as spiritual medicine. Your story got me to thinking about my situation.

In August I was admittied to the hospital with ventricular trigeminy (every 3rd heartbeat was skipping). I stayed overnight and nothing could be found wrong. My cardiologist increased my anti-arrhythmia medication and it got better. However, he thought that I might have sleep apnea, as this can cause my heart condition. He wrote me a prescription for a sleep study and I put it on my desk and forgot about it; I did not want to think about it.

After hearing you talk and recognizing the same symptoms you had, I immediately scheduled a sleep study when I got back from the retreat.

The results from the study not only showed that I had obstructive sleep apnea, but also central apnea. Central apnea is when the signal from the brain to tell my body to breathe does not fire all the time and it causes me to stop breathing. These two apneas together are called complex apnea. I went for another sleep study so they could titrate me on a BPAP [bilevel positive airway pressure] machine that takes care of both apneas.

I have been on this machine for over a week now and feel better already. Abby has noticed the difference in my sleep habits. I no longer snore or fling my arms about and pull the covers from her.

Thank you, brother, for having the courage to tell your story. If it were not for you, I probably would not have done the study and would have continued to be in denial.

I would also like to take this opportunity to wish you and Carrie and your families a very happy and health new year.

Namaste,

Bruce

~~~~~~~

Aside from causing sleep deprivation and stress, there are many side effects of sleep apnea that are cause for concern. Sleep apnea is characterized by repeated episodes of apnea, meaning “without breath.” In other words, normal breathing is interrupted up to 50 times per hour during sleep. Not surprisingly, the side effects of sleep apnea can be very dangerous and serious. In fact, sleep apnea can be deadly. If you have symptoms of sleep apnea, it is important to recognize them and get treatment.

Side Effects of Sleep Apnea include the following:

Decreased blood oxygen level. Since breathing is interrupted, when a person has sleep apnea, the oxygen level in the blood decreases while the level of carbon dioxide increases. Having low blood oxygen levels can also affect the brain resulting in equilibrium and memory deficiency.
Compromised immune system. The immune system of an individual suffering of sleep apnea becomes impaired because they don’t receive enough sleep. Constant sleep deprivation reduces the ability of the immune system to fight infection.

Development of Diabetes Mellitus. Diabetes can also be a sleep apnea side effect. Studies have found that patients with obstructive sleep apnea are more than two and one-half times more likely to develop type 2 diabetes. Scientists theorize that high levels of the hormone cortisol that are produced as a result of the stress caused by sleep apnea lead to increased resistance to insulin and glucose intolerance.

Daytime sleepiness and fatigue. Alertness and memory function of a person is affected due to decreased cognitive function with sleep apnea.
Irritability, short-temperedness, anxiety and depression. As sleep apnea can cause sleepiness and fatigue, when a person is sleep deprived, it affects all aspects their temperament both at home and at work.

Headache and migraine. Because of disturbed sleep that leads to blood-oxygen depletion and constriction of the small blood vessels in the brain, morning headaches and migraines can occur.

Sexual function problems. Another side effect of sleep apnea is sexual dysfunction in both men and women. Blood oxygen deficiency in major body organs can result from sleep apnea. There are medical reports stating that men with sleep apnea have problems initiating and sustaining an erection. Studies also find that women with OSA have a significant decrease in sexual function.

Obesity. Aside from being one of the causes of sleep apnea, obesity can also be a side effect of sleep apnea. Hormonal imbalances caused by sleep apnea contribute to weight gain.

Snoring. Snoring is one of the most common side effects of sleep apnea and one of the biggest indicators that sleep apnea is present. People that snore and have other symptoms of sleep apnea should visit a sleep apnea clinic and get tested.

Frequent nighttime urination or nocturia. Sleep apnea causes increased pressure on the right side of the heart as a result of low oxygen levels in the blood. Since increased pressure is also a sign of excess body fluids, doctors believe the body responds by secreting a hormone called atrial natriuretic peptide which is a diuretic and causes sufferers to urinate more frequently.

High Blood Pressure. Hypertension is a common side effect of sleep apnea. Studies show that people with moderate to severe sleep apnea are more than twice as likely to also suffer from high blood pressure. Those suffering from sleep apnea and high blood pressure are also more likely to experience other complications such as heart and kidney damage as well as stroke.

The Side Effects of Sleep Apnea Can Be Deadly

In addition to the health risks posed by the sleep apnea side effects listed above, sleep apnea increase the risk for several more serious cardiac events.

Heart arrhythmias, or an irregular rhythm of the heartbeat. Although often harmless, heart arrhythmias can be a dangerous side effect. Obstructive sleep apnea (OSA) can cause both bradycardia, where the heart beats slowly at less than 60 beats per minute, as well as atrial fibrillation (afib), a condition where the electrical signals to the heart become uncoordinated, causing rapid and ineffective heart contractions. Over time, afib can increase the risk for more serious complications such as stroke.

Accidents. Sleep deprivation caused by sleep apnea increases the chances a person will be involved in a serious car accident by as much as five times. The risk of work and industrial accidents is also higher.

Stroke, heart attack and death are the most significant side effects of sleep apnea. Stress placed on the sympathetic nervous system can lead to heart attacks, stoke and even death from sleep apnea. Scientists at the Mayo Clinic discovered that sleep apnea patients suffer twice as many cardiac events while sleeping than while awake; just the opposite of what people without sleep apnea experience. Mortality was also increased by a factor of six.

Every aspect of a person’s life can be affected by sleep apnea. The conditions mentioned above are just a few of the side effects of sleep apnea. It is important to get treatment as soon as possible to prevent it from becoming more serious. Without treatment, the side effects of sleep apnea pose a significant health risk.

Judgment

2012-01-08T13:59:00.000-08:00

Often times, when we occupy the space of 'I'm right and you're wrong' it keeps us from seeing our own responsibility in matters. When we judge others' foibles and personality traits, what does it really say about us? What can we do to identify and get rid of judgment in ourselves and in our lives?

From Deepak Chopra, MD:

"The Hidden Side of Judgment

Not every person gets to the point in their life when they question the value of judging against others. After all, society depends upon a healthy regard for the difference between right and wrong. Many people, perhaps the vast majority, are content with a system where rules are meant to be obeyed, lawbreakers are punished, and so on. But the mechanism of justice is not the whole of life. When I was young, I was struck by a passing remark from the lips of a spiritual teacher: 'Where love is not, there must be laws.'

At a certain point, a new and different kind of view begins to oppose our certainty that we have a right to judge others. Insight begins to dawn. It's not the same insight for everyone, yet I'd guess that something like the following begins to make sense:

Judge not lest you be judged.

We condemn in others what we are afraid to see in ourselves.

Blame is the projection of guilt.

Us-versus-them thinking is destructive to both sides of the equation.

How would you label such thoughts? If you are a rigid adherent to "an eye for an eye," these insights are corrosive; they must be rejected to keep your black-and-white moral code intact. But there's a reason, despite the intricacies and cruelties of the system of law, why the spiritual side of our nature is attracted to non-judgment. We want to love and be loved. At a deeper level, we realize that all suffering is ultimately related to self-judgment. Seeing yourself as fallen from grace, you feel justified in treating everyone else as fallen, to one degree or another.

Yet at a certain, highly unpredictable point, the urge arises to move beyond self-judgment, and when that urge arises, the need to judge others begins to decrease. There is an evolutionary impulse in everyone, or so the world's wisdom traditions teach us. We believe in our higher or better selves. We want to reconnect with the soul. The selfish demands of the ego wear us down and begin to seem pointless. Whatever the trigger, moving beyond judgment is evolutionary. A breakthrough is possible, after which a path opens up.

Walking this path transforms the entire person, over a period of time, and leads to many stages of realization. At one stage you may want to rebel against rules and authority. That can be a satisfying stance, but eventually it is seen as untenable. At another stage you may feel humbled and therefore more judgmental against yourself than ever before. That, too, is just a stage. Ahead are various roles we attempt to play—martyr, saint, ascetic, child of God, child of Nature, etc. It would be too ironic to judge against any of these steps in personal growth; they are convincing while they last and rather empty once they are finished. Whatever the way stations that you experience on the path, the goal isn't the role you play; it's fulfillment within yourself.

Fulfillment is all-inclusive, which is why it is often labeled as unity consciousness. You exclude nothing from your being; there is a common thread running through you and everyone else. At that point, when empathy is effortless, you have succeeded in something that is at once very desirable and very rare. You have transcended the war between good and evil, light and darkness. Only in that state does the war end, and the perplexing issues around judgment are solved at last. Short of complete fulfillment within yourself, you cannot help but participate in duality, because the entire play of right and wrong, good and bad, light and darkness, depends upon self-division. Your ego will persist until the very end in labeling A as good and B as bad, for the simple reason that duality requires choices. As long as you prefer one thing over another, a mechanism will sneak in that says, 'If I like it, it must be good. If I don't like it, it must be bad.'

Fortunately, even as the game of judgment keeps society running smoothly, constantly dictating our likes and dislikes, our loves and hates, human beings are born to transcend. We can go beyond the setup of society, the ego and judgment itself. In that innate capacity for seeking the higher self, every hope and promise offered by the world's great spiritual teachers rests."

Deepak Chopra is the President of the Alliance for A New Humanity.

From Michael Berg:

"It is easy to judge others and find fault in them; it is sometimes even enjoyable. Yet in reality, if our aim is to draw greater blessings and fulfillment into our lives, it is one of the most dangerous things we can do.

When we judge others we often think that we are simply making an observation, and that this action or thought will not affect us. However this is not the case. When we judge others we are awakening and connecting ourselves to a force of judgment. It is like trying to throw mud at someone – we might or might not hit them but we are definitely tainted by the mud. And by acting in this way we don't necessarily affect the other person, but we most definitely draw the energy of judgment and lack into ourselves.

I am often asked, 'We know that there are no coincidences, but why, then, do we see faults in others if it is wrong to judge people?' The kabbalists teach that as easy as it is to see shortcomings in others, it is almost impossible for an individual to truly find and assess his or her own faults. In order to change and grow we need to be able to know what it is about ourselves that we need to transform. Yet if we are never completely capable of seeing our own faults, how will we change?

In order to assist us, the Creator created endless mirrors for each of us that allow us to clearly see what we have to change. These mirrors are all the people that are in our lives every day. Every fault we see in another person is an indication that we have an aspect of that issue within ourselves. In fact, the reality is that the only reason we are being shown these flaws in others is to realize that they also exist within ourselves. How silly is it then that we often disregard this and focus on what is wrong with other people?

The kabbalists use a simple story to illustrate this lesson. A man spends all of his day in a coal mine and his entire body and face are filthy. As he arrives home he sees a mirror his wife has bought. He looks at the mirror and sees that his reflection is dirty, so he takes a rag and starts cleaning the mirror. He tries and tries with all his might but his face still remains dirty. Of course this man is acting foolishly, as it is not a problem with the mirror but rather his own filth. This is how we usually behave—we see a reflection of our less-than-perfect traits in others, and rather than realizing that we are seeing this in order to change and perfect ourselves, we stay focused on the faulty mirror.

If we truly integrate this understanding into our lives, the next time we feel the urge to judge others we will instead look inward and find how we too possess the fault we see and forget about judging anyone. By acting in this way we protect ourselves from drawing the energy of judgment and lack into our lives. And most importantly, we gain a clear direction for own transformation and growth."

Michael Berg is a Kabbalah scholar and author. He is co-Director of The Kabbalah Centre. You can follow Michael on twitter, twitter.com/inspiringchange. His latest book is “What God Meant.”

From Dr. Karen Binder-Byrnes, Ph.D:

"Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves." -Carl Gustave Jung

"As human beings, we are constantly searching for self-definition by viewing ourselves in the context of our fellow “others" on this earth. One of the ways we do this is to be continually searching for the "sameness" or "difference" with the people we encounter in life. Often, the search to realize our own uniqueness leads being judgmental. As a basic and primal evolutionary survival tool, judgement of the "other's" intentions could enable one to move toward or away from a threatening encounter. However, on an everyday basis, most of us are more likely to be judgmental as a means of elevating our own self-importance and/or assuaging our feelings of inadequacy.

There is an underlying sense of moral superiority and righteousness when we are being judgmental. In this dynamic, whether we are judging ourselves or others, we lose the sense of tolerance, compassion and objectivity that is probably most required. Recently, I was in a car with a male friend who became irate and judgmental about another driver who cut in on us in a toll line. I laughed, as I had been in the car with him many times when he had done the very same thing to other drivers. This is a simple example.

Being judgmental can drain us. Having compassion and empathy restores and increases our energy and our sense of well-being. It helps us want to move toward others and allows others to move toward us. During this holiday season, when we are surrounded by family and friends, we should all try to be more tolerant and empathic to our differences and check some of our judgments both of others and of ourselves at the door. Be mindful of the tendency to be judgmental and find humor and acceptance the kaleidoscope of human foibles that make up our world! Happy Holidays!! Peace."

Dr. Karen Binder-Byrnes is a leading psychologist with a private practice in New York City for the past 19 years. See her website, DrKarennyc.com, for more information.

From Elizabeth Mattis Namgyel:

"What I hear in this question is a common concern for all of us: we want to be able to respond to our relationships with skillfulness and clarity. But when we critically examine, say, a conflict we might be having with a friend or family member, we often find ourselves judging others based on 'right' or 'wrong.' So to me the fundamental question comes down to this: 'Is there a way of working with relationships without judging or ignoring?'

For me this question opened up a query into the difference between discernment and judgment. When we look at another human being—or ourselves—we see that we are not 'one way.' Human beings are creative and destructive, cranky and kind, joyful and miserable…it's impossible to pin down a human being. We are always a 'work in progress.' So when we judge others (or ourselves) we are objectifying or seeing them in a one-dimensional way. There is a closing down around a negative idea, and simultaneously, there is a non-acceptance of the "fullness" of who they are. This is why, when we judge others, we experience first and foremost the negativity of our own mind.

One thing I like to do when I find myself in these situations is to try to remember at least two other qualities about the person whom I have just 'put in a box.' For instance, aside from what is irritating us, we may acknowledge that she is a good mother to her children. We may remember that she brought us soup when we were sick. In this way, all of us move out of our tendency to judge them—to form a solid picture of them—which in turn moves us out of our own negativity. This helps us see this person more fully, which, if we are honest with ourselves, is more accurate.

This doesn't mean that this person doesn't exhibit habits that challenge us. Nor does it mean that we shouldn't also find a way to work with or even communicate with this person, set boundaries, and so on… But when we don't shut down by making judgments, the atmosphere of our minds is open, gentle and non-reactive. This gives us a greater capacity for clear seeing and how to relate to them skillfully in order to obtain a positive outcome.

I deeply believe that seeing the fullness of others, in all their pain and glory, allows us to express the greatest love and respect we can offer. It is an unconditional kind of love. And this kind of love has a profound effect on our own minds.

Not long ago a dear friend of mine lost her father. She told me that after his passing, her family and friends began to praise and deify him. Although she adored and respected her father, this was hard for her. She said that her father was many things: he was intelligent and kind, but also sometimes rough and gritty, 'like a prickly pear cactus.' She had trouble listening to people describe her father in such a one-dimensional way. She felt that her love for her father included the fullness of his human-ness.
I found this touching because her love for her father was inclusive … she didn't have to forget or disregard him in any way. She could accept him completely for who he was. She was able to see him clearly and accept him fully, both at the same time.

We can have an inclusive stance that makes room for the full humanity of others. From this ground, we can respond to a parent, friend or co-worker without judgment. When we realize that we can be both open and discerning at the same time, we experience freedom from negativity and meaningfulness in our relationship with the world."

Elizabeth Mattis Namgyel is a Buddhist scholar and the author of the book, ”The Power of an Open Question” (Shambhala Publications).

Making a Living - Co-Creating the Cosmos

2012-01-08T13:45:00.000-08:00

by Jon Foreman, lead singer and guitarist of the group Switchfoot This article first appeared in the Huffington Post

"Hate was just a failure of imagination."
—Graham Greene

“Re-appropriate” is a word that I stole from my friend David Dark. He'd stolen it from a guy named Jeff Tweedy. It's a good word to steal. In fact, of all the words I've stolen in my lifetime I feel the least remorse for lifting this one. Re-appropriate: to seize and reassign. Its very definition encourages a theft of sorts. I suppose all of language works like that: taking anonymous words and making them our own.

This enlightened practice of re-appropriation is unique to the human experience: we adapt within our situation to make the most of it. All other creatures are defined by their innate abilities, mostly untaught. A worm is not taught how to crawl. A chameleon is not taught how to change colors. A rabbit, a horse, a spider — these creatures are defined by themselves and their intrinsic giftings. We human beings are not like this: we bend, we learn, we invent, we change. Humanity has been making herself up all along. Making life. Making a living.

I would like to re-appropriate the phrase "making a living" to mean something larger than accumulating net worth in an online bank account. I'd like to suggest that ATM receipts and mortgage payments have very little to do with living or life or making life worth living. In my personal struggle to make a living, I've found that true success has very little to do with income or comfort. In fact, it seems to me that inconvenience, hardship, and discomfort are my best teachers. It's as though these horrible, wonderful moments where I realize my own limitations are almost exclusively the only ones that matter. So when I'm brave enough, I chase these awkward moments down. I write songs about them. I put my scattered thoughts online. Heck, I even seek therapy from time to time. Love, dreams, confessions, God, women — these are dreadful, awe-inspiring mysteries to me. They put a funny taste in my mouth. They give me scrapes and scars. And stories.

The best stories often come from inconvenient and uncomfortable places.

Like a newborn child, real life comes out painfully, awkwardly, delicately. As a pearl is formed only when the oyster is agitated with sand, the most important moments in my life were born out of friction. The art comes from the awkward ache. The knot in my stomach usually teaches me more than comfort ever could. The sculptor's chisel carves away at the block to bring something new into being. In the same way, we hammer away at the world we're given to bring something new into being. We re-appropriate the past and present to create the future — breath by breath.

We are making our living on a dying planet, born into a world of contingencies. Our world is torn to shreds by the greed of men, the intolerance of our times, and the wars that rage on in the world around us. Every day our bodies are decaying. On the day of our birth, our death becomes an eventuality.

The world we've been given is under the dark shadow of these struggles. We're born into the fight. It's as though we're armed only with a dream. So it's no surprise that our hopes are dulled on the battlefield of institutionalized cynicism. In this world of death and taxes we might even begin to question whether dreams are appropriate. Against the backdrop of despair, we are tempted to abandon the struggle of hope and accept dead cash instead. We're tempted to believe that "the real world" could never be anything other than it is.

But isn't "the real world" largely what we humans have made it? Let us remind ourselves that the "financial security" that we are slaving for is anything but secure. Let's remember that this peace of mind recently went bankrupt. Yes, these supposedly stalwart investment institutions were bailed out, but by a government that faces an insurmountable debt. Let's take it even further and recall that none of us has any control or security over the day of our birth or death. And in this context I believe that "making a living" cannot be tied to the paycheck alone. Rather we make the real world of tomorrow today. Moment by blessed moment, we're making a living.

To make this kind of living takes incredible creativity. To see the limitless possibility in the present moment takes a wild imagination. And it's not just artists that need this untamed ingenuity.

A good teacher is creative. A good computer programmer is creative. A good mom is creative. A good lawyer looks creatively beyond the contingencies of injustice and works to bring a more virtuous existence into being.

In fact, the argument could be made that a human being is most God-like when she is most creative, ingeniously crafting the true and the beautiful out of the confines of the present tense. Remixing tomorrow out of the raw materials of today. Re-appropriating a dream into reality. It's not just vagabond surfers who chase down preposterous dreams of doing what they love — humanity has been doing this all along. Flying without wings? Landing on the moon? Recording and amplifying sound? Yes. We invent, we progress, and we make it up as we go along. Does it sound like a swindle, like cheating the system? Does it sound outrageous? It absolutely is! But that's what making a living is, my friends — it's scandalous! And the outrageous souls willing to risk failure might be the only ones who are truly making a living. For better or worse they are defining the world our children will inherit.

This world is a hand-me-down. It was given to us by our parents — women and men much like ourselves. Human beings in love, human beings rejected, human beings hungry, restless, apathetic and hopeful: ever-changing, ever-adapting. Yes, the human soul is a bundle of conflicting desires. You want peace, but you love excitement. You hate math, but you want to graduate. You love your parents, but they drive you crazy. Even our hopes are at odds with each other. The rent? The relationship? The career? The vacation? Our dreams rarely line up. It's messy stuff, but these are the raw materials that life has given you.

You had no choice as to where your journey begins, but the choice is available to you now. You could argue that you didn't choose to be born, that there are factors of your existence over which you have little or no control. It's true, these are the contingencies we were born into. Your heart, your bones, your soul, your sexuality — these were given to you. Given to you as a painter is given a canvas and a brush. Given to you as a sculptor is given a block of marble. St. Francis of Assisi said that "He who works with his hands and his head and his heart is an artist." Your artistry? Your craft? You are making a living.

Which is to say that you are the art. Your words, your haircut, your clothes, your actions—these display your unique blend of past and present, desire and lack thereof, insecurity and purpose. You are the painting, and everyday you paint yourself and the world around you. Every moment is a canvas waiting to come to life. The walls of this planet and the walls of your heart are still available to graffiti artists everywhere. There's still room for redemptive, honest, hopeful colors. You put your brush to canvas with every decision, with every breath. We are the human race. We are the re-appropriators. But none of us creates out of nothing. Human creation is always re-appropriation. Trying to put beauty into form.

Tom Morrello once said that "Music is like sausage." He was killing time on-stage in a club called Hotel Cafe in Hollywood. We were halfway through the encore trying to figure out a cover tune that none of us really knew. It was a mild form of chaos onstage. So as we switched instruments and tried to work it out, Tom told this parable to the patient crowd, "Music is like sausage. You love the final product but sometimes you don't want to see how it's made." It's one of my favorite stories to tell. I love finding something beautiful within the bizarre. Grace within contingency, as Gregory Wolfe might say.

Because after all, that's what music is. That's what life is. Re-appropriating the scraps we have at hand in an attempt to create something truly magnificent. Crafting timeless beauty out of our own temporal specific circumstances. My friends who practice yoga have a saying: "Fake it till you make it." Maybe that's what humans do best: we make it up as we go along.

You want to know the meaning of life? This is your highest calling: You are called into the dynamic co-creation of the cosmos. This breath is your canvas and your brush. These are the raw materials for your art, for the life you are making. Nothing is off limits. Your backyard, your piano, your paintbrush, your conversation, Rwanda, New Orleans, Iraq, your marriage, your soul. You're making a living with every step you take. So when you make a living, do not merely make money. Why settle for cash when joy is on the line? You feel a thrill when you dance, when you sing, when you finish your poem; even when you sweep the room, you see order pressing back against the chaos. So when you create, never settle for making a living — at least not the way that the world might define that phrase. When you make a living, you are speaking a new world into existence. You are creating grace within the confines. You are co-signing God's blank checks.

Blind Perspective - Volume 3

2012-01-08T13:39:00.000-08:00

by Michael Tapia, longtime member of Sacred Path

[The following article is the third in a chronology of Michael's progressive loss of his eyesight. They form a remarkable story of courage and an indomitable will to live.]

It’s been ten days since I awoke temporarily blind. My sister Ingrid is visiting with my six-year-old nephew Alexander. Ingrid has been visiting every day since I lost my eyesight. Today she’s making lunch.

“Hey, Alex, let’s go downstairs and water my garden!”

“Are you sure you’ll be safe?” Ingrid asks.

“Sure! I’ve had lots of practice.”

I take Alex’s little hand and we slowly climb down the stairs. I hold tight to the banister and we finally reach the landing.

“See the hose, Alex? Please take me to it.” I say.

“Okay, Uncle Michael.”

He hands me the hose and I ask him to point it at my succulent garden. It sits right outside my bedroom window where I planted my jasmine last spring. I also raised the purple bougainvillea on a trellis to frame the window.

“Uncle Michael, how did you go blind?” he wants to know.

“It was from medication I took,” I reply.

“Will you be blind forever?”

“No, Alex. I’m starting to see shadows now and my eyesight should return soon.”

“Uncle Michael, is it scary to be blind?”

“At first it was, but my friends kept me company.”

I could smell the dampness of the earth as the soil became well drenched, as if by a summer rain.

“Great job, Alex. You’ve been an excellent helper. Please turn off the water.”

I roll up the hose and dry my hands, then we head back up the stairs. Alex’s little hand is firmly in mine as he guides me like he was a grownup. We come back to the kitchen, where Ingrid has been keeping close watch on both of us.

“Wow, you guys were great out there! How did you know where everything was?” she asked, amazed.
“Alex was the perfect guide. Ingrid, it’s not rocket science; we’re creatures of habit. I visualize my intention and then cautiously perform my act.”

“So,” Ingrid says, “you visualize and then act.”

“Exactly!
“You’ve been so much help, Sis.” I give her a big hug and kiss her on the cheek. Then I give Alex a big hug and thank him.

“Bye, Uncle Michael. Love you,” he says shyly, and they’re off.

My cats, Zacky and Momma Girl, come out of hiding; they’re terrified of children. We climb the kitchen stairs. I trail the wall to the bookshelves, then move through the French doors to the living room and collapse on my favorite chair. I look out the window, and as I blink I begin to see movement on the telephone wire outside. I blink again, and I think I begin to see two shadows on the wire. I blink again and there’s nothing. I sit anxiously, Momma Girl on my lap. I think I can see the trace of her body. I gently stroke Momma Girl’s head and whisper, “Soon, little one, my vision will return.”

Director's Message for December 2011

2011-12-06T19:34:00.000-08:00

Greetings, Sacred Path Community,

As we turn our attention to the holidays, we need to wind our way through the hectic activities that comprise the stress-filled world as we connect with the true meaning of the season. This is a time that we especially need to go within and draw upon Spirit for energy, equanimity and guidance. As we light the candles in our homes and places of worship, let’s also remember that we are called on to be lights unto the world radiating peace, love and joy.

Jesus and other great sages spoke of an Inner Light. Jesus said, “I am the light and the way,” and went on to remind us to “let our light shine before others.” We speak of light in spiritual circles and of holding people in the light. We talk about seeing the light in each other when we greet one another with “Namaste,” meaning the light in me sees the light in you.

We are encouraged to rise up and express our higher self that knows its oneness with God presence, or the “inner light,” and to radiate that presence to others. Bringing our luminous nature into greater visibility requires awareness, focus and intention. In fact, becoming luminous beings involves the same intentionality that Jesus utilized through his teachings and acts of kindness. The light of divine presence that can illumine our lives can radiate outward to heal, comfort and bless the world.

As members of a spiritual community, we assist and support one another to stay on the Path and be on purpose. No one brings light into darkness without purposefulness and intentionality. Healing energy can’t flow through us until a way has been made clear for it by removing obstructions and opening our hearts and minds through practice. The more disciplined we are and the more we practice, the more liberated we become. As we cultivate experiential wisdom through sitting in silence, learning to monitor our thoughts, focusing on kindness, we find that our intuition grows stronger and clearer.

Through consistent spiritual practice we become more transparent, clarifying the dense emotional energy pollution that accumulates. Through meditation practice we can remove the dullness of negative thinking and transform the dread and worry that comprise a depressed and anxious mood. The more we practice spiritual purification through connecting with the elements of earth, air, water and fire, the clearer we become and the more our inner light can shine through us.

I am inviting 20 men to participate with me in a practicum at Holy Spirit Retreat Center on Saturday, February 18th, focused on the topic of developing your intuitive knowing through the cultivation of experiential wisdom. During this day we will work with Mindfulness practices including meditation and sacred breath work to clear your energy field and enhance greater luminosity. You can read more about this event in this newsletter and register to reserve your spot.

Mark your calendars for the 25th Annual Spring Sacred Path Call to Adventure Rites of Passage Retreat, April 12-15. This retreat will welcome fathers and sons, uncles and nephews, grandfathers, mentors and young men wanting to be in the presence of good men. We will create a profound experience as we provide some initiation of the younger men into conscious manhood. Our 25th Annual Fall Sacred Path Men’s Retreat will commence on Thursday, October 18 through Sunday, the 21st.

We’re bringing Leonard Orr back in June for an evening presentation on Friday the 8th, followed by a workshop on Saturday for those wanting to deepen their Conscious Breathing experience, and then an event on Sunday for those that simply want to go through the process. We had 50 in attendance last June, and many are working with the recommendations that Leonard offered for making spiritual purification an important part of one’s life.

The counseling field has dwindled with fewer men choosing to become therapists, and males in general resisting entering therapy. Similar to the educational system in this country, the field of therapy often doesn’t seem to be geared to help men in the ways men relate to being helped. That’s why I founded MCLA and the Sacred Path community with the intent of offering men an opportunity to get what they need in a user-friendly environment. Author and educator Michael Gurian has just published another book titled How Can I Help Him. Michael is a long time friend and author of approximately 30 books about men and gender. His latest book is designed to explore and reveal ways to help men and boys develop, grow and work through the issues that tend to plague us. I recommend this book to you and encourage you to consider this as a great holiday gift for anyone interested in helping males become better men. You can read more about this book and find the link with which to order it in this issue.

In the spirit of the season, the Sacred Path Wisdom Council and I are wishing you and your loved ones a very Happy Hanukah, a Merry Christmas and a blessed New Year.

Namaste,
Stephen

Special Event for Men with Stephen Johnson on Saturday, February 18th

2011-12-06T19:32:00.000-08:00

Paulo Mattioli: December 31, 1969 - October 22, 2011

2011-12-06T19:31:00.001-08:00

In 1987 I facilitated the first one-day Sacred Path Men’s Retreat in a silver geodesic dome house owned by Jerry Weinerth situated high atop Topanga Canyon overlooking the ocean. I initially positioned these one-day events for men about every 3 months. Sam Slonaker, Drummer and Rebirther, stepped up to assist me, and then others offered to help. I had also heard about an amazing drummer that lived in San Diego by the name of Paulo Mattioli. I connected with him and invited him to come up and lead a drum circle at one of my events.

Paulo had a wild mane of hair and a hugely radiant and magnetic personality. Our first meeting created a bond that would last for many years. I met dancer Riccardo Morrison at my first Mendocino Men’s Retreat featuring Robert Bly and Michael Meade. I invited Riccardo to participate in one of our retreats. Paulo and Riccardo held the beat and the movement for the Sacred Path Retreats as they expanded from the one-day events up at Jerry’s to two-day, then three-day retreats held at Camp Shalom, Camp Griffo, Cotton Tail, Hess Kramer and finally Gindling Hilltop.

As Paulo’s and Riccardo’s careers took off, requiring more extensive travel and commitments to perform, their presence at the Sacred Path events began to dwindle. We said goodbye to them and welcomed Christo Pellani and Fred Sugerman aboard to head up the drumming and movement. I haven’t seen or spoken to Paulo or Riccardo in years but knew that Paulo remained quite busy as his star was rising. You can read below what Christo has written about Paulo’s phenomenal talent and career.

At the last retreat, Christo asked me on Saturday if I had heard that Paulo was ill and had apparently been undergoing treatment for brain cancer. I had not heard anything about it and he said he would check it out and thought maybe it was a rumor. On Monday, following the retreat, Christo called to say that he just found out that Paulo had died on Sunday. We were stunned and saddened to hear the news.

Paulo was so vibrant and alive that it’s hard to conceive of someone so full of life being taken from us in the prime of his life. I went to his web site and reviewed his accomplishments over the years and looked at his pictures. We have lost another remarkable man, a true spiritual warrior. Like Timothy, Conrad, Walter and others that have touched our lives and left their own legacies with Sacred Path, Paulo was among the best. Even though our paths had not crossed in years, I had looked forward to sitting with him again and catching each other up on all that has transpired over the years. I will miss this opportunity, and yet he will live on in my heart and I’m sure within the hearts of those that knew him. Paulo radiated such vitality, love and passion.

Rest in peace, brother.
Stephen Johnson

~~~~~~~

Paulo Mattioli was recognized as a world-renowned multi-percussionist, educator and master instrument designer, with a special ability to inspire and empower others through drumming.

He was my friend and rhythm culture brother and colleague. I first met Paulo in 1992 taking a group drumming class, and I bought my first rope-tuned djembe from him. We trained together for the REMO Health Rhythms drum circle facilitation program, and we hung out in Topanga, swapped stories of growing up in Italian families, and played together on numerous occasions. We met up at the Sacred Path Retreats, and worked together for three retreats, cooking up the drumming activities for the community. I am fortunate to have had those powerful experiences drumming next to him, and to have inherited the community-drumming mantle for Sacred Path from him.

Paulo was a passionate and personable guy. He was one of the most well known, influential, and charismatic hand drummers in the nation.

He was an active drum teacher and facilitator who led Rhythm Journey drumming and dance workshops across the United States, Europe, Asia, Australia and Mexico.

He graduated with honors and held a degree in music, communications and visual arts from the University of San Diego. He also received a U.S. scholarship for his research in the use of drumming for communication within West African culture.

Paulo was the musical director of "Mystique D'Afrique," a West African drum and dance ensemble, and performed with artists such as Kenny Loggins, Sting, and Babatunde Olatunji as well as many others.

He was a REMO signature artist; designer of unique quality djembe drums, and authored the top rated instructional video series, "Hands-on Drumming".

Paulo also offered holistic services like drum meditations, Watsu and Waterdance and was a certified massage therapist, specializing in Sensate Shiatsu, a healing art which combined rhythmic massage with sound healing.

He was the creator of “FitRhythms”, an exercise program that combined the mind/body benefits of group drumming with aerobic movement.

Paulo was a leader and inspiration to a whole lot of drummers He will be remembered, honored, missed, and admired for his unique contribution to the modern rhythm culture as a true ambassador of the drum, and for his dedication to promoting community, creativity and global consciousness.

RIP, brother Paulo.
Christo Pellani

~~~~~~~

Hi Steve:

I was very sorry to hear about Paulo. He was such a happy and uplifting spirit. I’ll always remember that retreat when he was telling the story of being the only White guy drumming and dancing in the midst of a tribe of Africans IN AFRICA!!! I laugh out loud every time I think of the blind man in our group (Michael Tapia) surprised to realize that Paulo was not Black!!

Paulo had so much soul. I’m so grateful I got to know him and am a better person thanks to having him in my life. I went to the first retreat he put on solo in Hawaii. It was interesting. He tried to do it all – Drum Leader, Dance Leader and the Awareness Leader. What a stretch. I remember feeling uncomfortable with all he was taking on and rather than throwing myself into lots of group participation I wandered away from camp seeking loneliness and solitude.

Absolutely, I will be there for the 25th annual retreat in October. As soon as I hear the dates, they will be in my calendar. And I’ll commit to coming every five years forever long you find the energy to keep it going ☺. I’ve experienced so many wonderful people thanks to the space you’ve created -- now over a generation of time. My life is so rich and blessed now and I don’t even want to imagine what it would have been like if I didn’t find my way on your Sacred Path. If only, I could find the way to get my sons there.

Best wishes to you and your family for a very joyous holiday season and continued extraordinary new years.

Love to you,
Jay Berger

Dr. Stephen Johnson: Men in the Counseling Room

2011-12-01T18:38:00.000-08:00

On September 11, 2011, Stephen J. Johnson, Ph.D, MFT, founder and director of the Men’s Center of Los Angeles and creator of the Sacred Path Men’s Retreat, spoke to the SFVCAMFT Membership on “Males in the Counseling Room: Helping Guys Become Good Men.” He started with a moment of silence to acknowledge the 10th anniversary of 9/11, our national loss. Johnson mentioned the heroic men who gave their lives at the World Trade Center , saying that too often we hear only negative things about men, such as when they get into trouble. He went on to present a thorough, well-researched talk on the history of men and masculinity, their pressures and differences culturally, their socialization process, and some suggestions for both male and female therapists to help them achieve the best results working with male clients.

When Dr. Johnson was first licensed in 1972, it was during the Vietnam War, in which 57,000 men and 8 women died. The men who returned home weren’t celebrated as returning soldiers as they had been after World War II. Instead, they came back to anti-war protests and the feminist movement, told they should stop being war-like, get in touch with their innermost feelings, learn how to commit to relationships, share in housework, be nurturing to the children, curb aggression and violence, and integrate their sexuality with love. When men began to do these things and started becoming more passive, the women didn’t like that either. For men, it was a really confusing time. Not surprisingly, there was an increase in the divorce rate in the 1970’s, along with such self-destructive behaviors as addiction.

At that time, it was the women who began entering therapy in droves; but men did not. Psychotherapy, as traditionally practiced, didn’t serve these men well—and still doesn’t.
Men’s thinking has always been, “I can handle it (the “sturdy oak” approach to dealing with the problem).” They havedifficulty recognizing their feelings and expressing them (a
phenomenon termed alexithymia). Historically, men who have shared their feelings in public have been ridiculed, or dismissed as being weak, men such as Maine Senator and presidential candidate Ed Muskie in ‘68 and Missouri Senator Thomas Eagleton, who was dropped from the number two slot on the 1972 democratic ticket after admitting they he’d been treated for depression.

When some men tried to create a men’s movement to balance out the women’s movement and deal with some of their conflicts and issues, they, too, were ridiculed – especially for attending men’s retreats and “beating their chests in the woods.” The result: Men fled. But Johnson stayed put and continued on with his work with men, knowing how much they needed and wanted to better understand themselves.

Dr. Johnson remarked that we’ve made some progress as witnessed by how men like Speaker of the House, John Boehner, quarterback Terry Bradshaw, Howard Dean and Mike Wallace have been accepted despite public displays of emotion or admissions of suffering from a mood disorder.

Johnson outlined the characteristics that take a toll on men’s mental health and make it difficult for them to use psychotherapy readily, including gender role strain and conflict. He mentioned how masculine norms impact the therapy process and detailed the advent and development of the new psychology of men.

As the result of decades of working with men as individuals, in groups, and on retreats, Johnson has identified four crisis points in men’s lives (which he details in his upcoming book, Man Up). The four are The Identity Crisis (ages 15 to24); The Mid-Life Crisis (around age 40, which is when a man may first experience “the fall,” such as an affair); TheExistential Crisis (hits between the ages 55 and 65), and TheCompletion Crisis (occurs at some point between 75 and 85).

In a therapy situation, Dr. Johnson feels that cognitive behavioral therapy works best with men. Men like assignments and homework (such as watching a specific film), are able to gain insights from answering questions, and writing an anamnesis, a social psychological history of themselves. He finds that sharing experiences with male clients can create a therapeutic alliance, and he uses humor as an ice-breaker.

Johnson also talked about how female clinicians can best help their male clients. First, women therapists need to ask themselves questions, such as, “How do I view masculinity? Am I afraid of men, or do I dislike men on some level? Can I comfortably explore transference and counter-transference? Can I talk with men in their own language? Am I knowledgeable about the reasons behind many men’s resistance to understanding and experiencing their emotions?” He showed a video that helped us understand how much men can benefit from being in groups of men of all ages.

Therapists, both male and female, can help. “We need to help men explore the most vulnerable aspects of what it means to be a man, and offer compassion, empathy, patience, and a safe haven to explore this vulnerability.” It’s common knowledge that men don’t like going to the doctor, and put off their annual prostate or colonoscopy checkups. Nor do they tend to read or spend money on books, especially books about men. Johnson’s handouts included several pages of books and resources on the psychology of men, which will probably be read by women first, who will then hand them over to men. Hopefully the men will read them: “They need to learn better self-care and therapists can help teach them,” Johnson said.

Dr. Johnson, with the editing assistance of our own Sylvia Cary, is completing a book titled Man Up: The New Masculinity. The focus is on what it takes today to be a good man. Watch for publication in the first half of 2012.

Dr. Johnson offers individual therapy as well as men’s groups in two locations, Woodland Hills and Beverly Hills, plus annual fall and spring retreats. Contact him at www.DrStephenJohnson.com and www.MensCenterLosAngeles.com.

Michael Gurian's New Book: How Do I Help Him?

2011-12-01T18:33:00.000-08:00

Males are underserved in the mental health and helping professions. Boys and men often feel that counselors, therapists, and mental health care professionals are not well informed or educated in what males need. Only one in ten new counselors and social workers is male. The counseling field is losing boys and men at exponential rates, and many parents are faced with taking sons to therapists who don't know how to work with boys as well as girls. How Do I Help Him? addresses the unique needs of boys and men in therapy, counseling and mental health services. Written by Michael Gurian, a mental health counselor for more than twenty years, and one of the world's foremost gender experts, this book provides brain-based gender theory, new science-based practical models, and outcomes-oriented strategic tools for transforming the counseling and psychiatric profession to work better with boys and men. This book is an invaluable resource for parents, as well, if they are taking a boy (or man) into counseling or therapy.

Click HERE for more information.

Daily Om: Who Am I?

2011-12-01T18:31:00.001-08:00

The question of who we are is a seed that can bear much fruit if given the chance to unfold.

At some point in our lives, or perhaps at many points in our lives, we ask the question, “Who am I?” At times like these, we are looking beyond the obvious, beyond our names and the names of the cities and states we came from, into the layers beneath our surface identities. We may feel the need for a deeper sense of purpose in our lives, or we may be ready to accommodate a more complex understanding of the situation in which we find ourselves. Whatever the case, the question of who we are is a seed that can bear much fruit.

It can send us on an exploration of our ancestry, or the past lives of our soul. It can call us to take up journaling in order to discover that voice deep within us that seems to know the answers to a multitude of questions. It can draw our attention so deeply inward that we find the spark of spirit that connects us to every living thing in the universe. One Hindu tradition counsels its practitioners to ask the question over and over, using it as a mantra to lead them inevitably into the heart of the divine.

While there are people who seem to come into the world knowing who they are and why they are here, for the most part the human journey appears to be very much about asking this question and allowing its answers to guide us on our paths. So when we find ourselves in the heart of unknowing, we can have faith that we are in a very human place, as well as a very divine one. “Who am I?” is a timeless mantra, a Zen koan ultimately designed to lead us home, into the part of our minds that finally lets go of questions and answers and finds instead the ability to simply be.

Walk-on Punter Offers Inspiration for Free

2011-12-01T18:26:00.000-08:00

by Bill Plaschke, Los Angeles Times

Kyle Negrete, who kept alive a scoring drive with a fake punt, has played all season without a scholarship. Yet he says, 'Being a Trojan is worth it.'

The ball was snapped to the USC punter and an old football movie broke out.

He tucked the ball high under his right arm. He pumped his legs as if riding a bike. He began running stiff-backed and straight, pumping, pumping through a giant hole in the stunned Washington defense. Only when the punter had covered nearly half of the field did a Husky finally jump in front of him, but the punter kept pumping, flattening his nemesis as they crashed together into 1940.

His first name is actually Kyle, but you get the grainy picture, a wonderful throwback play that was the turning point in USC's 40-17 romp over Washington on Saturday at the Coliseum. It was cool enough that Negrete's 35-yard gallop on a fake punt early in the second quarter kept alive a drive that ended in a touchdown that started the rout, but there's more.

At the end of one of the most disillusioning weeks in college football history, the USC game turned on a kid who plays for free.

Negrete is a walk-on who has punted all season without a scholarship. His father is paying thousands in tuition to give his son the privilege of calling himself a Trojan.

"But that's how I really feel, that being a Trojan is a privilege,'' Negrete said afterward with a sweaty, bearded smile worth millions. "In a way, playing here without a scholarship defines me."

Amid a college football season that has been all about money and its potentially corrupting power, the Kyle Negrete definition is a startling one.

Negrete has 33 punts and zero athletic dining-hall privileges. He has pinned opponents inside the 20-yard line 17 times, yet he receives zero housing stipend.

The fourth-year junior is the only integral part of this team who has to work part time to help pay the bills, which means that when he's not booming kicks, he's busing tables as a server at the Jacks N Joe restaurant near campus.

"Yeah, sometimes I have to serve some of my teammates," he said. ''It's OK…. What are you going to do?"

USC specialists occasionally begin a season without a scholarship. Yet it is unthinkable that one would be a contributor for a full season and still not get paid. But because USC signed a freshman punter last winter and faces future scholarship sanctions, Negrete's father might have to pay more than $50,000 next season before Kyle could take the field.

The only thing more compelling than this fact is Negrete's reaction to it.

"Being a Trojan is worth it," he says. "I'm blessed and thankful that my father can afford it, because you just cannot beat this place."

It was never more worth it to Negrete than in the second quarter Saturday when fullback Ross Cumming called for the fake when the Trojans were facing fourth and nine from their 45-yard line. Negrete knew they were probably going to run the play. Before the game, Coach Lane Kiffin had warned him about it while ordering him to slide as soon as he passed the first-down marker.

"He told me, 'No way am I going to slide,' " Kiffin recalled with a laugh.

Sure enough, he didn't slide, running up the middle and into the arms of cornerback Anthony Gobern, whom he promptly turned into a purple and white flapjack.

"No way was I sliding," repeated Negrete. "I haven't seen green grass like that since I was in high school."

Thousands roared for a kid who, like all walk-ons, does not have a biography in the football media guide. The Trojans found their breath, and five plays later Marc Tyler pushed into the end zone for a one-yard touchdown run to give them a 14-3 lead.
"My run felt like a crushing blow," Negrete said. "But it wasn't about me, it was about all those guys on the field who cleared the way."

Oh, c'mon, let's let Negrete feel as though he did a little crushing, just once, OK?

He is a Fresno kid, the grandson of former Fresno State coach Jim Sweeney, a hard-luck player who spent his first two years at the University of San Diego punting and playing linebacker until back surgery ended his defensive days. He decided to be strictly a punter, and decided he wanted to do it at the home of his childhood Trojans heroes.

He was allowed inside the Trojans' doors last year only because special-teams coach John Baxter was a family friend, then he watched for a season, then he won the job over the summer, and even with no scholarship, he says it immediately felt like home.

"I have never been treated different here because I'm a walk-on," he said. "When they talk about Trojan family, they mean it."

Negrete knows something about family. Before every game, he uses a Magic Marker to draw 5/17/2002 on his left forearm, reminding him of his mother, Patty, who died of breast cancer that day. Under his uniform he wears a white T-shirt that he once gave his mom, reading "Mom's the Bomb."

"I've got a chip on my shoulder to overcome all I've been through," he says. "My mom gave me that toughness."

After the game, it's all tenderness, as he will talk about the game in a phone call to his buddy Joel, a 20-year-old from Fallbrook with autism whom he has mentored for several years in a program he founded at San Diego.

"I'm lucky to be playing for USC, and I want to share that with others," Negrete said.

Lucky to play for USC? No, it is USC that is lucky. In a fake far more impressive than anything Kyle Negrete ran on Saturday, the kid who costs nothing is priceless.

Blind Perspective - Volume 2

2011-12-01T18:21:00.000-08:00

by Michael Tapia, longtime member of Sacred Path

[The following article is the second in a chronology of Michael's progressive loss of his eyesight. They form a remarkable story of courage and an indomitable will to live.]

The drive home from the ophthalmologist took an eternity. I had just gone blind temporarily for ten days and had a lot to process. My friend Mauricio was deep in thought, and it felt strange not seeing anything out of the car window. I could hear the traffic around me and sirens in the far distance. Time slowed to a crawl and I was suddenly aware of living in the moment. I broke the silence and asked Mauricio where we might be.

“We’re near Normandie and Melrose,” he said.

“Close to City College?” I asked. I realized we were near the Braille Institute. I recalled I had often avoided blind people. I shuddered with guilt, surprised at my own phobia of people who were different. I counted my blessings that my blindness was temporary.

We arrived at my apartment. Mauricio was very careful to guide me to the living room and my favorite chair.

“Can I get you something to drink?” he asked kindly.

“Sure! How about a bottle of Kendall Jackson Chardonnay 1989?” I asked jokingly.

“There you go again, making light of things,” he said with concern.

“I’ll be fine. I just have to get in touch with my inner ‘Helen’ - you know – Helen Keller?” I said, goading him.

Just then, my cats jumped onto my lap, meowing with curiosity. Zacky and Momma Girl were brother and sister. I held them tightly and reveled at feeling something I could readily identify and recognize.

I convinced Mauricio that I needed time alone to plan my next ten days of blindness. I sat in my chair, in the silence, cuddled my cats and began to visualize my living room. I slowly got up, trailed the nearest wall, found the bookshelf, another wall, the doorstop, and the short hallway to my bedroom. I stubbed my foot on the nightstand and slowly approached my bed. I visualized the bedroom and the windows still open from the night before. I could smell the jasmine as I curled up against my favorite pillow. I was lying on my side when I felt Zacky jump directly on my thigh, startling me. He crawled higher onto my side and put his paw on my face. I patted his paw and reassured him that we were all going to be just fine. I felt Momma Girl curl up behind me. Nestled by my two Griffins, I squeezed the pillow tightly and wept.

Continued in next issue

Director's Message for November 2011

2011-11-01T14:06:00.000-07:00

Greetings, Sacred Path Community,

Out of the 55 men who registered for the 24th Annual Fall Sacred Path Men’s Retreat, 51 were able to participate. The age range was from 19 to 81. We had a number of young men in their 20’s who have participated several times in past retreats and show an obvious connection to the community. Along with all of the great men who comprise the Wisdom Council, Andrew and Thomas poured water for Inipi Sweat Lodges, and we welcomed back Grandfather Soldier Bear, a Lakota Elder who came from South Dakota to participate for his second retreat. Dr. Ron Holman gave a presentation on his journey through India to meet Holy men and master teachers. He spoke about the power of setting intentions, and brought a gift of Navapasahanam water for any of the men who wanted to utilize it to anchor their intentions. This highly charged water is credited as being an elixir of life. The story behind the water is most fascinating and can be found in the October blog.

Men traveled from the east coast, Nevada, Oregon, Utah, Arizona, South Dakota and outlying areas of California to attend. Clayton Norcross, who had been in Italy for a year and a half, was able to join us before returning to Europe. This was a very powerful retreat, and a lot of deep work took place on the mountain. There were fathers with their sons and the spirit of brotherhood was bountiful.

Mark your calendars for the 25th Annual Sacred Path Call to Adventure Rites of Passage Retreat, April 12-15. This retreat will welcome fathers and sons, uncles and nephews, grandfathers, mentors and young men wanting to be in the presence of good men. We will create a profound experience as we provide some initiation of the younger men into conscious manhood.

Mark your calendars as well for the next Men’s Center event that is scheduled for the weekend of February 18, 2012. It will be open to men and women and will take place at Holy Spirit Retreat Center in Encino. We are considering facilitating a two-day workshop that weekend. We’ll have more information later this month.

We’re bringing Leonard Orr back for an evening presentation on Friday, June 8th, followed by a workshop on Saturday for those wanting to deepen their Conscious Breathing experience, and then an event on Sunday for those that simply want to go through the process. We had 50 in attendance last June and many are working with the recommendations that Leonard offered for making spiritual purification an important part of one’s life.

As we are closing out 2011 and getting ready to enter 2012, a year that promises to present many more changes on the individual as well as global fronts, I want to wish you and your loved ones a very Happy Thanksgiving. In the spirit of giving, please consider making a donation to Sacred Path so that we can provide scholarships for the young men who will attend the Call to Adventure Retreat in April.

In brotherhood,
Stephen

Participants and staff of the Fall 2011 Sacred Path Retreat

2011-11-01T14:04:00.000-07:00

Openings Available in Dr. Johnson's Evening Men's Groups

2011-11-01T13:58:00.000-07:00

Currently openings are available in Dr. Johnson's Tuesday evening Beverly Hills group and his Wednesday evening Woodland Hills group. To obtain more information, e-mail Dr. J. at: DrJ@DrStephenJohnson.com, or call (818) 348-8948.

Comments on the Fall 2011 Sacred Path "Ashes" Retreat

2011-11-01T13:48:00.000-07:00

Dear Brothers,

Some years ago Bob Fimiani gave voice to a sense of separation that I believe we all carry with us up to the mountain - he called it, "The Two Kingdoms". This split has many other names:

Masculine and Feminine
Sacred and Profane
Earthly and Heavenly
Visible and Invisible
Shadow and Light
Mountain and Valley
and so on...I'm sure you're adding to this list even as you read it...

These various distinctions attempt to give expression to a deep and profound sense of separation we carry as a fundamental element of our humanity, as well as a reflection of the journey we are taking, consciously or unconsciously, back home to our Oneness with all Life.

An exquisite result of that explosion we experienced years ago is that it brought this mostly unconscious split back into the light of awareness so we could give it meaningful and mindful attention.

Over the course of this last retreat I repeatedly observed and felt a current of bringing separated pieces back into wholeness. For example, I've noticed that Andrew and Thomas have chosen and worked to be integral parts of the community. When not conducting ceremony they are participating with us. Likewise, various splits between men, within men, between fathers and sons, were all being worked in conscious and extraordinary ways throughout retreat.

While I believe the sense of two kingdoms is inherent (or inherited?) in our nature, I'm delightfully participating with a group of men doing their work to dissolve separation and experience and express the deeper truth of our essential wholeness. I am very grateful. Thank you.

Wopila,
Tom Couper

~~~~~~~

Stephen and other brothers,

Words can’t fully express my gratitude to you, Steve B. and everyone for yet another
profoundly healing and rejuvenating retreat experience...Perhaps the expression on everyone's face can.
Here is the first of what I intend and trust will be a bi-annual group photo taken at 2PM every Sunday before closing ceremony.

Wopela,
Rob Bruce

~~~~~~~

Usually when we gather to end a Retreat there is music, and each man decides when he will leave the Container and return once more to the world below. At the end of this last Retreat, we had no music that was heard by the physical ear; a higher melody was playing. We gathered into a circle within the Container, arms around shoulder or waist; connected in an imperfect circle of life. Within was he who was physically challenged with each step, yet voiced the words of spirit that called the heart and soul. Within was he who was blind to the world; yet saw further than my eyes could see the horizon. Within were recent blooms of manhood with tales of the struggle of being a man, standing beside Redwoods of Life with tales of the glory of age. Within stood representatives of mankind as shown on the Medicine Wheel we studied in physical form and representatives of knowledge both near and far. In the formation of that imperfect circle we were the world in all its harmonious glory: One man holding up another with love, with honor and brotherhood. Tears came to my eyes then as they do now. There are rare moments when human hearts sing the same song – for me that was one of them.

I thank you for a most successful Retreat. It outdid April's. Scott, Tom and Grant - brothers what may I say: wopila, wopila, wopila.

Love,
Phillip Jennings

~~~~~~~

Dear brothers,

This retreat was my first after an absence of several years, and I felt a strong sense of love and belonging that I hadn’t experienced in quite a long time. I was overjoyed to see most of the same men with whom I shared my very first retreat and laughed harder and longer than ever before or since. I felt back at home in the rebuilt lodge that had burned to the ground and had been lovingly replaced. In many ways I needed time away in which to grow and learn to mesh with the spirit of the retreat in a brand new way, with openness, acceptance and a peaceful heart. In the past I was anxious to take the talking stick and speak; this time I was content to listen and soak in the deep energy shared so eloquently in the container. I also had the honor to room with Michael Tapia and learn from his experience in dealing with his vision loss. I’ve never seen a human being so energetic and involved with life! I am so glad to be back at the retreats once more, and just glad to be.

Namaste,
Rich Manners

Blind Perspective - Volume 1

2011-11-01T13:39:00.000-07:00

by Michael Tapia, longtime member of Sacred Path

[The following articles comprise a chronology of Michael's progressive loss of his eyesight. They form a remarkable story of courage and an indomitable will to live.]

This is a true story. It was a balmy August night in Silver Lake Hills, California. The year was 1993. Sitting at my desk, I was reviewing my notes from the Rachel Rosenthal workshop I had attended that previous weekend on Performance Art.

All the remarkable people, men and women, living with HIV and AIDS had shared so much talent. What struck me in the notes was Rosenthal’s quote, “Every challenge in life is a prop, and it’s up to us to decide how to react to it.”

I thought of all the people I had served as a hospice worker for five years and all the props they had to negotiate. I crawled into bed and could smell the jasmine I had planted the previous spring. I heard wind chimes singing in the distance and fell asleep smiling.

The next morning I awoke, the mockingbird making a big fuss as usual at 5 AM, when I felt my right eye throb. I opened it, and to my shock, I couldn’t see a thing.

“Oh my God!” I yelled. “What the hell?” I kept blinking, thinking it would clear up somehow, but to no avail. I called my friend Mauricio, and he agreed to take me to the emergency room at Cedars-Sinai. By the time Mauricio had arrived, my other eye began to cloud up and I was totally blind. He helped me into the car in a panic as I tried to calm him down.

The experience was surreal. I thought I’d wake up from this bad dream at any moment. I wasn’t in the darkness one reads about, not some dark void; it was more like a very thick fog with the light trickling through it.

From the ER I was wheeled to the elevator, and I was tempted to feel the Braille by the numbers, but I refused to entertain the thought. Surely I wouldn’t need to learn that. We arrived at the ophthalmologist’s office and waited patiently for my name to be called, and I finally found myself face to face with another invisible doctor. He was rather matter-of-fact when he said, “You have uveitis from an adverse drug combination. Your vision will return in ten days.” I received a prescription for eye drops and was to return in 12 days. He recommended I stay close to home during that time. I reassured him that I wasn’t planning to drive or go dancing anytime soon. He chuckled, and we were on our way home.

“How can you joke at a time like this?” Mauri asked. “Mauri, it’s just a temporary challenge – a prop. We’ll get through this,” I assured him. We drove home. I took a deep breath, reached for his hand. We both grew quiet – the silence was deafening.

(To be continued next issue)

Director's Message for October 2011

2011-10-03T15:11:00.000-07:00

Greetings beautiful people of the Sacred Path Community,

"The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths.

These persons have an appreciation, sensitivity and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.” Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

We are a little under 3 weeks away from the kickoff of the 24th Annual Fall Sacred Path Men’s Retreat. There are some exciting updates to mention that assure that this retreat will be another extraordinary event.

Last month I announced that we were bringing Grandfather Soldier Bear back from the Lakota Reservation in South Dakota. He attended last year and shared the wisdom of the tribal elders. We plan to welcome the men that are 55 and older into the Elder Clan, and Grandfather will officiate that initiatory blessing. We also intend to honor the young men and those in the middle of their life spans who will be with us.

Andrew will be pouring water for our Inipi (sweat lodge) ceremonies and introducing the teachings of the Medicine Wheel. It’s my understanding that Andrew’s cousin, Thomas, will be with us again to pour water and, along with Andrew, offer traditional Lakota doctoring of the men. If you have a health issue (mental, physical or emotional) that has been plaguing you this is a good opportunity to gain some relief and healing.

I’ve also invited my friend, Dr. Ron Holman, to participate. Ron is another remarkable man. He has recently returned from a month-long journey through parts of India visiting teachers and Holy men that are remarkable in their own unique ways. Ron will offer a presentation on Friday night at the retreat chronicling his travels and sharing the intriguing experiences he had along the way. He is also bringing a gift to us that I can attest as being quite powerful. Read in this newsletter about Ron and his last trip to India.

Master drummers Christo and Grant will be maintaining the beat and enlivening the energy. We had one of the most extraordinary drum circles surrounding the fire and fire walk activity last October. We are planning to create a fire ceremony on Friday night that will incorporate elements of traditional Puja ceremonies held in other cultures.

Steve Branker will facilitate the “Love Letter” process to clear 5 areas of emotional congestion. This is especially helpful in getting unstuck, attaining clarity and moving from anger and resentment to forgiveness and loving compassion.

John Mafrici will facilitate the Sacred Breathing (aka Rebirthing) process to offer men an opportunity to move through grief and clean and balance their energy bodies as you release emotional energy pollution and attain a level of bliss. We’re all prone to have to deal with stressful situations these days so it’s great to be able to de-stress and attain a deep state of relaxation and rest.

You will be able to practice Yoga, Mindfulness Meditation and Martial Arts. We will be working with spiritual purification practices featuring the elements of earth, air, water and fire. I believe Herb Rubinstein will be on board once again with his remote controlled planes. Several men have experienced the fun of learning to fly the planes during past retreats. There’s nothing like being able to be a kid again. And, of course, the best part of the retreat is the collection of men that gather together for the purpose of bringing out the best in themselves and each other. There will be men flying in from several areas of the country.

This is just a sampling of what you’ll experience when you join us on retreat commencing October 20th through the 23rd. I hope you’ll favorably consider participating and if you are planning to attend please register now. I know that it’s tempting to wait until the last minute but it does create a lot more work for Annette when we get a flurry of enrollments during the week before the retreat. We have information to get back to you so please send in your registrations now.

On another note, mark your calendar for February 18 and 19. It appears that we’ll be presenting an event for men and women at Holy Spirit Retreat Center. As we work out the details we’ll let you know more. Also, mark your calendar for June 9 and 10. Leonard Orr will be returning to facilitate a day of training for those wanting to become more proficient in Rebirthing others and a day for those that want to experience the Rebirthing process. We will have a public evening on Friday the 8th in which Leonard will present on Spiritual Purification. All of us that participated last June and have altered our lifestyles to incorporate the practices that Leonard advised will have a chance to share what we’ve experienced over the year between his events.

In the spirit of brotherhood I wish you my best,
Stephen

To download the flyer for the Fall 2011 Sacred Path Retreat, click HERE
To download the fill-in application for the Fall 2011 Sacred Path Retreat, click HERE

No Man Left Behind

2011-10-03T15:08:00.000-07:00

In the Spirit of No Man Left Behind, I am requesting that you consider making a donation to our scholarship fund. The Conrad Burke Memorial Scholarship Fund was established by one of our men, Mathew Burke, and his family to honor the legacy of their father, Conrad, who had attended a number of our retreats. Conrad graciously and generously supported all of the men in our community through his open and loving participation on retreat. He had become a central father figure and Mathew and the family had donated to us in his memory. Our coffers are now bare and we do have men that would like to attend the retreat but are at low ebb financially. If you will consider giving a minimum of $25, each donation of $25 or more will go directly to supporting a brother in need of financial support making it possible for them to join us. You can make your check out to Sacred Path Scholarship Fund and mail it to: Men’s Center of Los Angeles, Suite 214, 21243 Ventura Blvd., Woodland Hills, CA 91364. If you wish to use your credit card, send us an email message or give us a call at 818-348-9302 and we’ll assist you. I’m including this story below from Daily Om. I think it expresses what we need to consider at this time when resources are scarce for many. Thank you for your generosity.
Stephen

The Wisdom of Sharing
Stone Soup

Imagine a world in which we all shared our gifts and bounty with each other rather than focusing on self-preservation.

There are many variations on the story of stone soup, but they all involve a traveler coming into a town beset by famine. The inhabitants try to discourage the traveler from staying, fearing he wants them to give him food. They tell him in no uncertain terms that there's no food anywhere to be found. The traveler explains that he doesn't need any food and that, in fact, he was planning to make a soup to share with all of them. The villagers watch suspiciously as he builds a fire and fills a cauldron with water. With great ceremony, he pulls a stone from a bag, dropping the stone into the pot of water. He sniffs the brew extravagantly and exclaims how delicious stone soup is. As the villagers begin to show interest, he mentions how good the soup would be with just a little cabbage in it. A villager brings out a cabbage to share. This episode repeats itself until the soup has cabbage, carrots, onions, and beets; indeed a substantial soup that feeds everyone in the village.

This story addresses the human tendency to hoard in times of deprivation. When resources are scarce, we pull back and put all of our energy into self-preservation. We isolate ourselves and shut out others. As the story of stone soup reveals, in doing so, we often deprive ourselves and everyone else of a feast. This metaphor plays out beyond the realm of food. We hoard ideas, love, and energy, thinking we will be richer if we keep to them to ourselves, when in truth we make the world, and ourselves, poorer whenever we greedily stockpile our reserves. The traveler was able to see that the villagers were holding back, and he had the genius to draw them out and inspire them to give, thus creating a spread that none of them could have created alone.

Are you like one of the villagers, holding back? If you come forward and share your gifts, you will inspire others to do the same. The reward is a banquet that can nourish many.

Daily Om: We Don't Need to Suffer

2011-10-03T15:06:00.000-07:00

We do not need to suffer or live in poverty to be a spiritual person.

The idea that we have to suffer or live in poverty in order to be spiritual is an old one and can be found in the belief systems of many philosophies. Most of us carry this idea around subconsciously, and we may be holding ourselves back from financial or emotional well-being, believing that this is what we must do in order to be virtuous, spiritually awake, or feel less guilty for the suffering of others.

While it’s true that there can be a spiritual purpose to experiencing a lack of material well-being, it is rarely intended to be a permanent or lifelong experience. What we are meant to find when material or emotional resources are in short supply is that there is more to our lives than the physical realm. Intense relationships and material abundance can distract us from the subtler realm of the spirit, so a time of deficiency can be spiritually awakening. However, once we recognize the realm of spirit, and remember to hold it at the center of our lives, there is no reason to dwell in poverty or emotional isolation. In fact, once our connection to spirit is fully intact, we feel so compelled to share our abundance that lack becomes a thing of the past.

If you find that you are experiencing suffering in some area of your physical life, perhaps your spirit is asking you to look deeper in your search for what you want. For example, if you want money so that you can experience the feeling of security but money keeps eluding you, your spirit may be asking you to understand that security is not to be found through money. Security comes from an unshakable connection to your soul. Once you make that connection, money will probably flow more easily into your life. If relationships elude you, your spirit may be calling you to recognize that the love you seek is not to be found in another person. And yet, ironically, once you find the love, your true love may very well appear. If you feel stuck in suffering to live a spiritual life, try to spend some time writing about it. The root of the problem will appear and it may not be what you expected. Remember, the Universe wants you to be happy.

Dr. Ron Holman, Speaker at the Fall 2011 Retreat

2011-10-03T15:03:00.000-07:00

Dr. Ron Holman, President and CEO of the Holman Group, which provides mental health and human resource services to some 1500 organizations, has endured an arduous physical and spiritual journey to arrive at his present position in life.

He was caught up in the addictive lifestyle of the ‘60’s, finally breaking away and entering inpatient treatment for his addiction. During his 6 months of inpatient treatment, he realized that his life’s work was to help others who were on the same path of addiction turn their lives around. He joined AA, and after 15 years of sobriety, began a voyage of self-discovery. He received his PhD in psychology in 1983, and is a licensed MFT who has maintained his sobriety for over 35 years.

Ron began his worldwide search for knowledge as a result of his wife Linda’s illness; she had been diagnosed with stage 4 cirrhosis of the liver. During their wait for a liver transplant, they decided that Ron should begin a journey to obtain information from healers around the planet - medicine men and women, shamans, teachers, gurus, magicians and others – anyone who might be able to help him cure his wife, and due to his ministrations, his wife has remained stable for over 15 years.

Dr. Holman has studied Hindu, Christian, and Buddhist mysticism, and has found that they all lead to the same center, like spokes on a wheel leading to the hub. He has recently returned from a pilgrimage to India and has had many fascinating experiences to share.

To read Dr. Ron's article about his recent trip to India, click HERE

Book Review: Following Ezra

2011-10-03T14:58:00.000-07:00

From the Gurian Institute Website

When Tom Fields-Meyer’s son Ezra was a toddler and showing early signs of autism, a therapist suggested that the father allow himself time to mourn. “For what?” he asked. The answer: “For the child he didn’t turn out to be.”

That moment helped strengthen the author’s resolve to do just the opposite: to celebrate the child Ezra was becoming, a singular boy with a fascinating and complex mind. Full of unexpected laughs, poignant moments and remarkable insights, Following Ezra is the riveting story of a father and son on a ten-year adventure, from Ezra’s diagnosis to the dawn of his adolescence. An engaging account of a father gradually uncovering layers of a puzzle, it rejoices in each new discovery and exults in the boy’s evolution from a remote toddler to an extraordinary young man, connected to the world in his own astounding ways.

Starting with the earliest indications that his son’s mind worked in unique and fascinating ways, the father describes in detail the challenges of autism, as well as his son’s often astonishing traits: his astounding memory, his deep connection with dogs and other animals, his obsessions with animated movies and breakfast cereals. He also reveals, with sensitivity and heart, the complexities of raising such a child within a family.

Unlike other parenting memoirs, Following Ezra isn’t about a battle against a disease, nor is it a clinical account of searching for doctors, therapies or miracle diets. Instead, Fields-Meyer describes—with humor and tenderness—the wondrous, textured, and often surprising life one experiences in raising a unique child. It’s a worthwhile and poignant read that will inspire parents to listen to, follow and celebrate their own children.

To link to the Gurian Institute website, click HERE
For more information about the book, click HERE

The Perfect Man Cave

2011-10-03T08:12:00.000-07:00

The Real Reason Behind the 2012 Scare

2011-10-03T08:10:00.000-07:00

Director's Message for September 2011

2011-09-03T15:50:00.000-07:00

September 2011

Greetings, Sacred Path Community,

There are some important changes to announce regarding the upcoming retreat next month. Our special guest presenter, Tolly Burkan, informed us that he would not be able to participate due to a medical condition requiring a surgical procedure. I had been in discussion with Charles Horton of FIRE, and we decided to not bring the fire walk, glass walk and other elements that they facilitate from their home base in Texas at this time. Due to this change of plans we’re reducing the price of the retreat from $495 to $425.

We are bringing Grandfather Soldier Bear back from the Lakota Reservation to officiate some ceremony initiating men into Mindful manhood. Andrew and Thomas will be pouring water for our lodges and doctoring all of the men and offering some formidable teachings and ceremony from the Lakota traditional ways. You will find in this newsletter what Grandfather taught us last year regarding the 7 essential standards for manhood in the Lakota community. We envision that men from Andrew’s Buffalo Warrior Society will join us on the hill. Perhaps some men from the Pine Ridge Reservation in South Dakota will accompany Grandfather.

Please keep in mind that we are first and foremost a community of men. I stress the word “community” because we are not just in the business of putting on retreats. We have been offering our Sacred Path Retreats for the past 24 years. Since that time we have grown into a community of men that gather together for the purpose of putting our lives on track by following a Devotional Path. As we continue to expand our Mindfulness, strengthen our fellowship and recommit to our families, it’s apparent that we’re living the good life. We are in fact examples of our mission statement, “Bringing good men together and bringing out the best in them.”

Our community has thrived for almost 25 years, enjoying easy times and enduring tough times. Many of our men have handled their own troubles in large part because they have had this community to lean on and have experienced the support and love of brothers that understand and care. We are witnessing more young men come into our ranks now. They need what we have to offer and we are learning from them. They’re finding their own places with us.

The theme of this retreat is A Time of Ashes: Initiation into Mindful Manhood on the Path of the Spiritual Warrior. You can read about “ashes work” in a separate piece included in this newsletter. On the hill we’ll unite to create ritual ceremony to commemorate rites of passage for all of the men spanning the ages from youth to Elder. We can create ceremony for the young men that are finding their way in the world. We can create ceremony for the men in the middle of their lives that are traversing the tricky passage through midlife. We know how important the community can be when one is journeying through the dark part of the forest. Older men have much to offer to the men in the middle. That time of the dark night of the soul can be harrowing, and not having to go it alone can certainly bolster one’s spirits when the light at the end is hard to see.

As older men cross over into Elderhood we need to recognize accomplishments. We need to welcome our older men into the generational kingdom of the Elders. Grandfather Soldier Bear is the perfect Elder to initiate us into this higher realm of devotion. As a community we have witnessed many trials and tribulations and have been learning the lessons taught by each of the three levels of manhood.

I will facilitate a process that will bring into focus the significance of life’s lessons. It should clarify the timeframe that we have for accomplishing our destinies. There will be a variety of breakout sessions and a couple of surprises. Men have told me that they’re bringing new men with them. Our numbers were down for the April retreat because we had 14 men who needed to drop out due to the flu. Let’s boost our numbers in October. Invite one or more men to accompany you. Forward this newsletter and print out the PDF of the flier to hand out. Let’s join together to create the best retreat ever.

In brotherhood,
Stephen

To download the flyer for the Fall 2011 Sacred Path Retreat, click HERE
To download the fill-in application for the Fall 2011 Sacred Path Retreat, click HERE

A Time of Ashes: Initiation into Mindful Manhood

2011-09-03T15:45:00.000-07:00

The Path of the Spiritual Warrior

The title and inherent theme of this retreat is: A Time of Ashes: Initiation into Mindful Manhood on the Path of the Spiritual Warrior. Robert Bly in his groundbreaking book about men, Iron John, published over 20 years ago, took up the issue of naïveté, numbness, depression and katabasis in the chapter titled The Road of Ashes, Descent, and Grief.

The Greeks spoke of katabasis as an abrupt drop when a man no longer feels like a special person. Bly states that these days katabasis comes about through addiction to alcohol, drugs, food, sex, etc. “The man loses his health and ends up with thin legs, flat energy, deprived of wife and children, deprived of friends, house, money. He loses his job, self-respect, and every mark of his former art and life.”

Bly goes on to say that in the nineteenth century, men characteristically failed to notice the female suffering, and in this century, men have added another inattention: they characteristically have failed to notice their own suffering. Men endeavor to stay above it, away from it rather than dealing with it by going down and into it, to learn from it. He encourages men to take the downward path as an elective to avoid the crisis or potential disaster that can arise from katabasis. Depression is a form of katabasis. The epidemic of anxiety is wreaking havoc in the lives of millions of men. Exploring one’s grievances and getting in touch with one’s grief can be the antidote.

It appears that psyche arranges a severe katabasis if the man does not know enough to go down on his own. Bly suggests that, “With intitiators gone from our culture, we do not receive instruction on how to go down on our own... To live the life of ashes is very different from dropping into katabasis. It doesn’t require a fall in social status. It is not so explosive; there is something about ashes that is steady, even lethargic... Ashes and cinders in fairy tales are code words for the ashy, sooty, depressed, ‘out of it’ time.”

“The word ashes contains in it a dark feeling for death; ashes when put on the face whiten it as death does...some men around thirty-five or forty will begin to experience ashes privately, without ritual, even without old men. They begin to notice how many of their dreams have turned to ashes.”

Bly gives us, “...By contrast, the old men in traditional initiation lead the young men to the Beneath Father, near where the ancestors live and where snakes are... Initiation asks the son to move his love energy away from the attractive mother to the relatively unattractive serpent father. All that is ashes-work. When a man enters this stage he regards Descent as a holy thing, he increases his tolerance for ashes, eats dust as snakes do, increases his stomach for terrifying insights, deepens his ability to digest evil facts of history, accepts the job of working seven years under the ground, leaves the granary at will through the rat’s hole, bites on cinders, learns to shudder, and follows the voice of the old mole below the ground.”

When we reach crossroads in life, we all search for answers differently. In one of the daily lessons in Science of Mind: A Guide for Spiritual Living, I read that when Jesus was facing the fateful hours preceding the culmination of his destiny he paced in the garden. Joseph Campbell went to a cabin for five years, the Buddha sat under a tree, some of us meditate or pray, others listen to music, and still others walk in nature. There is not just one way. What is important is that we make some time to go deep within to seek our answers. A retreat from the world offers that time.

Campbell writes that a young Native American was given this advice at the time of his initiation: “As you go the way of life, you will see a great chasm. Jump. It’s not as wide as you think.” We can become what we imagine if we have the courage to move into our dreams. Our October retreat offers you that opportunity.

This upcoming retreat will, for the 24th year in a row, bring together good men to bring out the best in them. We’ll assemble about 25 staff members and upwards of 75 participants. We dedicate this time for gathering the men of our community to receive great gifts. What can result from leaving your homeland and coming up on the mountain can make an immeasurable difference in your life. Those of you that have been here before know that to be true. Your homecoming will commemorate that which can be gained by your taking the path of ashes and doing good work in the way of the spiritual warrior. We’ll experience time for descent and ascent; time for self-reflection and expression; time for solitude and engagement; time to laugh and to cry; time for work and for play and ultimately time to bring out the best in your self.

Grandfather Soldier Bear will return from the Lakota Reservation in South Dakota to be with us again this year bringing the tribal teachings of manhood and will conduct a formal initiation into Elderhood. I know that our Lakota brothers, Andrew Soliz and Thomas Alvarez, will be pouring water for our Sweat Lodges. John Mafrici will travel down from Oregon to facilitate our Sacred Breathing Sessions. MCLA Associate Directors Steve Branker and Dan Franklin will be by my side to take the helm on guiding the flow of this retreat. Master drummers Christo Pellani and Grant Mays will build the energy. The devoted men of the Wisdom Council will be present as Tribe Leaders and to be of service as needed. Even though we assemble a coterie of remarkable teachers, it’s you and all of the other men that comprise the Sacred Path Community that render these retreats so successful. It’s not uncommon to hear the same comment year after year, “this retreat was the best.”

To download the flyer for the Fall 2011 Sacred Path Retreat, click HERE
To download the fill-in application for the Fall 2011 Sacred Path Retreat, click HERE

A Message from Andrew Soliz

2011-09-03T15:42:00.001-07:00

Dear Brothers,

I am happy to say that once again we will be running sweats for the upcoming retreat in October. This will be our seventh year doing ceremony together. I have been honored to bring my loved ones to share their teachings as well. I hope to bring my cousin Thomas with me as well as Soldier Bear/Grandfather.

Since we met last, I have put together teachings from indigenous warrior societies from around the world with an emphasis on Native American cultures. I am grateful to say that Stephen has asked me to share this with the community this fall. We will be learning the Medicine wheel and its use as a tool in our lives for healing and direction.

The Medicine Wheel is a tool, a map of life and for life. It symbolizes the individual journey we all must take to find our own path. It is a physical manifestation of Spiritual energy, an outer expression of an internal dialog. It allows us to see what is going on inside us. It helps us with our vision to see exactly where we are and in which areas we need to develop to reach our full potential.

Along with an ancestral healing process and healing from the sweat lodges this will be a retreat of profound impact for us all. I look forward to seeing everyone again.

Peace,
Andrew

The Seven Ways of Life

2011-09-03T15:41:00.001-07:00

By Grandfather Soldier Bear

1. WACEKIYE - Prayer to and for all of creation. Pray every morning and thank Creator for giving us another day. Before sleep time, thank Creator for giving us a good day. "Anpetu wasteh” means “good morning” in Lakota. Always remember and pray before meals. Pray that people will have open minds before meetings – we call meetings “omniciye”.

2. WAOKIYE – Be helpful to children and elders, and help every person in whatever way you can. We call children “wakaneza”. “Wakan” means sacred as well as meaning The Creator. As Lakotas, we chastise anyone who harms a child.

3. WAUNSILA – literal translation is to have pity for, to have empathy or compassion for someone. The compassion for a fellow human goes further and includes all of the living creatures in our universe.

4. WOWICAKE – Honesty in all that you do and say. Be true to yourself and speak of things you know to be true. Not being honest with oneself is self-deception. Many things are the same - light and dark, heat and cold – these are the same thing and are different in degree only. Honesty and dishonesty are not the same – a lie is a lie and the truth is the truth.

5. WAOHOLA – Respect for all of the Creator’s children, i.e. mankind and all of the things in nature. Have and show respect for your elders. Especially have respect for the women, for they are your grandmothers, mothers, sisters and wives. Be like a man and protect women; never abuse them mentally, physically or spiritually. If you do, you will no longer be a man. That is our belief as Lakotas. I hope that every man could witness what happens when danger threatens a herd of elk or buffalo. [ed. - The males encircle the females and calves, horns facing outward, protecting them with their lives.]

6. WOKSAPA – Wisdom, knowledge that can help mankind. Wisdom does not come with age or with the accumulation of knowledge. Wisdom is the process of applying what knowledge you have in a good way for the benefit of your fellow man.

7. WAHWALA – Humility is recognizing that in comparison to the Creator we know very little and understand even less. When we practice the first five ways and understand the significance of them in a spiritual manner, we may gain a little wisdom. When we actually use our wisdom to help someone and we do it without expecting any acknowledgment from anyone, and we do it with heart, then and only then will they say, “He is a humble person.” I have never heard a truly humble man say that he was humble.

Director's Message for August 2011

2011-08-04T18:41:00.000-07:00

Greetings Sacred Path Community,

Do you ever stop to consider the risks you tend to take or avoid in the process of navigating the day-to-day trajectory of your life? We humans are called on to make decisions on a daily basis that contain some element of risk. Even getting in the car and traveling a few blocks is not without some risk. There are those of us that are natural risk-takers or thrill seekers, and on the other end of the spectrum we find those of us that are considered risk-avoidant. Where do you believe you fall along this continuum?

Life seems to be predicated on a series of transactions that either maximize the potential for risking successfully or mitigate the pitfalls associated with the less than favorable consequences from a risk gone awry. How do you navigate this process? Do you find it relatively easy, inconsequential, or quite challenging to take the necessary steps to stretch out of your comfort zone? What’s at stake when you decide to take the risk to do something perhaps new or bold or daring?

I reflected on this the other day after reading the morning lesson in Daily OM, titled Risking to Take a Chance. The message contained the following information:

“If you are considering taking risks today, you may find the following exercise helpful: Give some thought to times in the past when you have taken on new challenges or responsibilities. Think about the adjustments you made to meet your new obligations. Recall how this experience helped you to grow and achieve your goals. This exercise can motivate you to push through with your risk-taking impulses.   Reflecting on the times we succeeded in taking risks can give us the confidence we need to take chances in the present. We have a wealth of blessings in our lives now that came about because we were willing to take a risk. Though we had no way of knowing how our risks would turn out, we used our knowledge and a measure of faith to move ahead into the unknown. In hindsight we can appreciate that our willingness led us to successful outcomes. Remember the good that has manifested in your life as a result of the risks you’ve taken, and you will have the confidence you need to take more chances today.”

When you reflect on attending the Fall Sacred Path Men’s Retreat, do you consider the stakes or what might be at risk by participating? For newcomers, the risk might be connected to the unknown. For others, it might have to do with some component of the retreat that carries an element of risk. Maybe it’s to open up and communicate something authentic about yourself to the other men, or perhaps it’s to take the first step onto a path you never thought you’d be able to cross. What are you willing to relinquish in order to allow change to occur? Maybe the risk has more to do with what might be activated at home or at work as a result of your taking the time away for yourself from your normal activities. Maybe there is what you risk in not going to the retreat that contains aspects of loss, disconnection, isolation and loneliness. So, there may exist risk in going as well as the potential risk of not going.

As you contemplate whether you are registering for the retreat or not, please do give careful consideration to what you risk by going or not going as the case may be. I hope that you will conclude that the risk of staying away outweighs the risk of taking the leap of faith and joining your brothers for this community event. You just may discover that what you risk can be hazardous to your misery.

Read about what we are putting together for this retreat and let Spirit move you accordingly. I know it’s going to be great, now discover it for your self.

In brotherhood,
Stephen

To read about the upcoming retreat, click HERE
To download the fill-in application, click HERE

Openings Available in Dr. Johnson's Evening Men's Groups

2011-08-04T18:35:00.000-07:00

Openings are now available in Dr. Stephen Johnson's evening men's therapy/support groups. There is one space available on Tuesday night in Beverly Hills, and two openings are available on Wednesday night in Woodland Hills. For more information, call Dr. Johnson at 818-348-8948 or e-mail drj@drstephenjohnson.com.

Men in Grief Seek Others Who Mourn as They Do

2011-08-02T15:08:00.000-07:00

By PERRY GARFINKEL

In 1990, Sam and Gretchen Feldman cashed out on their share of a national chain of men’s apparel stores and retired to Martha’s Vineyard, Mass. There, they devoted their time to volunteer work and an active social calendar. The following years were golden ones for the Feldmans, but in 2007 Mrs. Feldman learned she had cancer. She died a year later. The Feldmans had been married 53 years, and Mr. Feldman’s grief was palpable to friends who knew him as a buoyant, resilient personality.
“There was a huge hole in my life that no amount of activity could replace,” said Mr. Feldman, now 82. “And except for my two daughters, there was no one I could turn to for solace.”

There was a local bereavement group for spouses, but Mr. Feldman opted out when he learned it consisted only of women.
“I just didn’t think women would relate to my pain,” he said. “And, frankly, I come from a generation that feels uncomfortable exposing our sadness and vulnerability to the opposite sex.” The loss of a loved one is a profoundly heartbreaking experience, but it is not the same for everyone. Research increasingly suggests that men and women experience grief in different ways, and the realization has bolstered a nascent movement of bereavement groups geared to men throughout the country. Many of them are affiliated with hospitals and hospice centers.

Concern about reaching men in grief has gained new urgency with shifting demographics. The number of men age 65 and older increased by 21 percent from 2000 to 2010, nearly double the 11.2 percent growth rate for women in that age group, according to census figures. As the gender gap in life span narrows, experts suggest that more men will be facing the loss of loved ones, particularly spouses.

Many will be not be prepared for the experience. The loss of a spouse often is crushing for men physically as well as psychologically. In a 2001 paper published in The Review of General Psychology, psychologists at the University of Utrecht in the Netherlands confirmed earlier data showing widowers have a higher incidence of mental and physical illness, disabilities, death and suicide than widows do. While women who lose their husbands often speak of feeling abandoned or deserted, widowers tend to experience the loss “as one of dismemberment, as if they had lost something that kept them organized and whole,” Michael Caserta, chairman of the Center for Healthy Aging at the University of Utah, said by e-mail.

The Harvard Bereavement Study, a landmark late 1960s investigation of spousal loss, found that widowers experienced the death of a wife as a multifaceted tragedy, a loss of protection, support and comfort that left many at sea. The men in the study relied heavily on their wives to manage their domestic lives, from household chores to raising their children, the researchers noted. The grief of men is compounded, Dr. Caserta added, by the fact that so many have been reluctant to directly address real feelings of deep sadness; until recently, men were expected to be emotionally controlled and inexpressive. Simply persuading grief-stricken men to attend a bereavement group is still no small challenge.

“While there’s strong indication that grief therapy helps men, historically men generally don’t join groups,” Phyllis Silverman, a grief researcher and an author of “Widower: When Men Are Left Alone,” said in a telephone interview.
There are also differences in the length of time men grieve, compared with women, and how long it takes to move on. An old axiom that “women mourn, men replace” turns out to be untrue.

“It used to be thought that men grieve acutely and heal more quickly, and that women grieve chronically over a longer time period,” said George A. Bonanno, a clinical psychology professor at Columbia University in New York. But now, Dr. Bonanno said, many researchers believe that grief follows a more complex pattern in both men and women. “No matter what sex, we oscillate between positive and negative emotions, between waves of sadness about the loss and hope for the future,” he said in a telephone interview. “This can be frustrating for men, who often seek the ‘quick-fix’ approach.”

Sherry Schachter, director of bereavement services at Calvary Hospital in the Bronx and a grief specialist for 25 years, said in a telephone interview: “While women grieve intuitively, open to expressing their feelings, men are ‘instrumental’ grievers. They’re not comfortable with talking about their feelings, and they prefer to do things to cope.”
In a men’s group she has run for the last few years, she said, “I never ask, ‘How do you feel?’ Rather, I ask, ‘What did you do?’ ”
In some cases, what men are doing is taking grief counseling into their own hands. Mr. Feldman started a biweekly bereavement group for widowers on Martha’s Vineyard, and two years ago spearheaded the Men’s Bereavement Network, a nonprofit organization seeking to establish and support grief groups for men nationwide. The network is helping to establish bereavement groups for men in places as diverse as DePere, Wis.; Clearwater, Fla.; and Danvers, Mass.

At a recent peer-led gathering of the Martha’s Vineyard group begun by Mr. Feldman, eight men in their late 40s to late 80s sat around the dining room table at the home of the session leader, Foster Greene. Dr. George Cohn, a local psychiatrist, sat alongside, for the most part a silent observer.
A retired fisherman, at 85 one of the older members of the group, spoke in a low voice, looking mostly into his coffee cup. His wife of 54 years died in 2010.
“I don’t know about you guys,” he said, quickly glancing around the table of men, “but for me it gets harder, not easier.” The other men nodded.
Later Dr. Cohn said, “Sometimes that’s all a man wants or needs — a sympathetic ear.”

Daily Om: Staying Conscious

2011-08-02T15:06:00.000-07:00

Staying Grounded in a Big City or Busy World

For a more grounded life, choose not to get caught up in the fast-paced world around you.

1. Live simply and live deliberately. By choosing not to get caught up in the details of this fast-paced world, you are doing your part to slow down. You will discover that you have more time to enjoy being alive.

2. Stay in touch with yourself. Soul searching, meditation, and journaling are just a few of the many activities you can take part in to stay aware and learn as much as you can about your emotions, reactions, likes, dislikes, dreams, and fears. Having a solid sense of self gives you a firm foundation for living in this world.

3. Support or teach others as often as you can. This can help you form connections with people while also giving you an opportunity to make the world a better place.

4. Consciously choose what you will allow into your being. The media bombards us with visions of hate, war, and pain. Be judicious about what you read, watch, and listen to.

5. Acknowledge the beauty that resides around you. Whether you live in a sprawling metropolis or a stereotypical suburb, there are natural and man-made wonders just waiting to be discovered by you.

6. Nurture your ties to your tribe. If you don’t have one, create a community that you can belong to. Modern life can be isolating. When you have a tribe, you have a circle that you are a part of. Its members – loved ones, friends, or neighbors - can be a source of support, caring, guidance, and companionship.

7. See the larger picture. Remember the way that you choose to live is not the only way to live. Widen your perspective by exploring other modes of being through research, travel, and discussion.

8. Embrace the challenges that life presents to you, and challenge yourself often. After a time, even the most exciting jobs or lifestyles can seem routine. Never stop assimilating new knowledge about whatever you are doing, and your life will never seem dull.

9. Move your body. In this busy world, it can be easy to live a sedentary life. Movement reacquaints us with our bodies and connects us to the earth in a visceral way. It also restores our vitality.

10. Make time for stillness, silence, and solitude. The world can be noisy, and we are subject to all kinds of noises nearly every waking hour. We are also often “on the go” and unable to relax. Being alone in a peaceful place and making time for quiet can help you stay in touch with yourself.

Jeff Passero: KIKI BABY Invitation

2011-08-02T14:56:00.000-07:00

Dear Brothers,

As you may know, my wife and I are producing the new Lonny Price musical "KIKI BABY," an absurdist musical about a child singing sensation and the desperate adults who hitch themselves to her money-making star. KIKI BABY has been invited to participate in the 2011 NY Musical Theatre Festival (NYMF) this fall. NYMF, the largest musical theatre festival in the world, is to new musicals what Sundance is to independent films.

Unfortunately, the cost of a production in this festival is at least $50,000, and so we are asking for your help to make this production happen! We are having a fundraiser on Saturday, AUGUST 13th at Hollywood Piano, 1033 Hollywood Way Burbank, CA 91505 from 6-9pm and we really hope you will come. It’ll be a fabulous evening of cocktails, dinner, a silent auction and great entertainment!

As my friends from the Men’s Retreats, we are offering you a half-price special of $65 per ticket. And if you bring a friend, the price drops to $50 per person!

We hope you’ll be able to attend our fundraiser, but if you can’t, won’t you please consider making a tax-deductible contribution to the NY Musical Theatre Festival to help underwrite this production of KIKI BABY?

Thank you!

All the best,
Jeff Passero

*NYMF is a non-profit 501(c)(3), so donations are tax deductible. Go to NYMF.org/KIKIBABY for more info.

To download the fundraiser invitation, click HERE

Director's Message for July 2011

2011-07-05T20:17:00.000-07:00

July 2011
Greetings Sacred Path Community,

We are launching the promotion for the 24th Annual Sacred Path Men’s Retreat now to provide a preview of what we’re planning and to give you a jump on registering for this exciting event. You’ll receive the flyer/application in your e-mail shortly. We’re offering an array of safely challenging elements that will comprise this Spiritual Warrior Community gathering.

The title and inherent theme of this retreat is: A Time of Ashes: Initiation into Mindful Manhood on the Path of the Spiritual Warrior. Robert Bly in his groundbreaking book about men, Iron John, published over 20 years ago took up the issue of naïveté, numbness, depression and katabasis in the chapter titled The Road of Ashes, Descent, and Grief.

The Greeks spoke of katabasis as an abrupt drop when a man no longer feels like a special person. Bly states that these days katabasis comes about through addiction to alcohol, drugs, food, sex, etc. “The man loses his health and ends up with thin legs, flat energy, deprived of wife and children, deprived of friends, house, money. He loses his job, self-respect, and every mark of his former art and life.”

Bly goes on to say that in the nineteenth-century, men characteristically failed to notice the female suffering and in this century men have added another inattention: they characteristically have failed to notice their own suffering. Men endeavor to stay above it, away from it, rather than dealing with it by going down and into it, to learn from it. He encourages men to take the downward path as an elective to avoid the crisis or potential disaster that can arise from katabasis. Depression is a form of katabasis. The epidemic of anxiety is wreaking havoc in the lives of millions of men. Exploring one’s grievances and getting in touch with one’s grief and can be the antidote.

It appears that psyche arranges a severe katabasis if the man does not know enough to go downward on his own. Bly suggests that, “With intitiators gone from our culture, we do not receive instruction on how to go downward on our own... To live the life of ashes is very different from dropping into katabasis. It doesn’t require a fall in social status. It is not so explosive; there is something about ashes that is steady, even lethargic...Ashes and cinders in fairy tales are code words for the ashy, sooty, depressed, ‘out of it’ time.”

“The word ashes contains in it a dark feeling for death; ashes when put on the face whiten it as death does...some men around thirty-five or forty will begin to experience ashes privately, without ritual, even without old men. They begin to notice how many of their dreams have turned to ashes.”

Bly gives us, “...By contrast, the old men in traditional initiation lead the young men to the Beneath Father, near where the ancestors live and where snakes are...Initiation asks the son to move his love energy away from the attractive mother to the relatively unattractive serpent father. All that is ashes work. When a man enters this stage he regards Descent as a holy thing, he increases his tolerance for ashes, eats dust as snakes do, increases his stomach for terrifying insights, deepens his ability to digest evil facts of history, accepts the job of working seven years under the ground, leaves the granary at will through the rat’s hole, bites on cinders, learns to shudder, and follows the voice of the old mole below the ground.”

When we reach crossroads in life, we all search for answers differently. In one of the daily lessons in Science of Mind: A Guide for Spiritual Living, I read that when Jesus was facing the fateful hours preceding the culmination of his destiny he paced in the garden. Joseph Campbell went to a cabin for five years, the Buddha sat under a tree, some of us meditate or pray, others listen to music, and still others walk in nature. There is not just one way. What is important is that we make some time to go deep within to seek our answers. A retreat from the world offers that time.

Campbell writes that a young Native American was given this advice at the time of his initiation: “As you go the way of life, you will see a great chasm. Jump. It’s not as wide as you think.” We can become what we imagine if we have the courage to move into our dreams. Our October retreat offers you that opportunity.

This upcoming retreat will, for the 24th year in a row, bring together good men to bring out the best in them. We’ll assemble about 25 staff members and upwards of 75 participants. We dedicate this time for gathering the men of our community to receive great gifts. What can result from leaving your homeland and coming up on the mountain can make an immeasurable difference in your life. Those of you who have been here before know that to be true. Your homecoming will commemorate what can be gained by your taking the path of ashes and doing good work in the way of the spiritual warrior. We’ll experience time for descent and ascent; time for self-reflection and expression; time for retreat and engagement; time to laugh and to cry; time for work and for play; and ultimately, time to bring out the best in your self.

I believe that Grandfather Soldier Bear will return from the Lakota Reservation in South Dakota to be with us again this year bringing the tribal teachings of manhood and to conduct a formal initiation into Elderhood. I know that our Lakota brothers, Andrew Soliz and Thomas Alvarez, will be pouring water for our Sweat Lodges. John Mafrici will travel down from Oregon to facilitate our Sacred Breathing Sessions. MCLA Associate Directors Steve Branker and Dan Franklin will be by my side to take the helm on guiding the flow of this retreat. The devoted men of the Wisdom Council will be present as Tribe Leaders and to be of service as needed. Even though we assemble a coterie of remarkable teachers, it’s you and all of the other men that comprise the Sacred Path Community that render these retreats so successful. It’s not uncommon to hear the same comment year after year, “this retreat was the best.”

In addition to the Community Gatherings, the Tribe Meetings, the Conscious Connected Breathing Sessions, the Inipi Sweat Lodge Ceremonies, the Recovery Meetings, the passion of the drums and the delicious meals to name a few of the highlights, we are bringing back, by popular demand, Charles Horton and his F.I.R.E. team from Texas to facilitate another Fire Walk, Broken Glass Walk, Board Breaking Feat and perhaps a couple of other amazing breakthrough processes. And, our very special guest presenter is Tolly Burkan, the father of the Fire Walk. Read about Tolly later in this newsletter.

The fee for this retreat is $495. Over the years I’ve had men tell me just before the retreat occurs that they don’t have the money to register. We have done what we could to make it possible for those men to participate. With job losses and the downturn in the economy it has been very challenging for many, and we do need to prioritize where are money goes these days. And yet I find that there are those that seem to have difficulty budgeting finances under any and all conditions. Handling one’s money issues is one of the cornerstones comprising personal accountability, independence, autonomy and self-sustainability.

A few weeks ago I recommended that you get out a piggy bank and make donations to yourself each week so that your fee for the retreat is handled by the time the retreat arrives. It’s a really good strategy for those who wish to effortlessly deal with the finances in preparation for the retreat. At the time there were 20 weeks prior to the fall retreat. If you had made a commitment to put away $25 each week commencing at the point of my recommendation, the retreat would be fully paid for by the time it occurs. In fact you’d already have about $150 in place by now. If you start saving today you’ll need to set aside about $35 to $40 per week to have it covered. Chunk down the cost in bite size portions to make it more palatable.

Please don’t let money hold you back from attending. Money is the cheapest way to pay, and your life is more valuable than the money that you will invest to participate in a potentially life-changing experience. Amortize the cost in relationship to the value attained for the rest of your life. If you can sit in a sweat lodge, tell your truth to a community of men, walk across shards of broken glass or across burning coals, what else can you do?

Many men have told me about breakthroughs in their lives since the last fall retreat, and that includes enhancement of their prosperity and abundance. Consider sending in your deposit this month confirming your commitment to attend and reserving your place. The retreat begins when you make the commitment to be on the mountain with your brothers. I’m envisioning between 80-100 in attendance. The men that attended last October are coming back and have indicated that they are bringing family members and friends with them. Charles and his F.I.R.E. organization have already enrolled a dozen participants. Jump on board; join in the fun; you won’t regret that you did.

In the spirit of brotherhood,
Stephen

Dan Stanton on the Upcoming Fall Retreat

2011-07-05T20:13:00.000-07:00

Dear Stephen,

The June Men's Center Newsletter was incredible! I read it from top to bottom. The article from Leonard Orr was a real eye opener and really made good sense to me. I have had the same feelings about our thoughts, our health and death. You have been incorporating earth, air, water and fire into you retreats for years. I think that is one of the main reasons we feel so good after the retreats.

My dad and I are confirmed for the Fall Retreat. We'll be coming off a full week on the Colorado River the week before. Since you're bringing back the Firewalker group from Texas, I'm going to try and get all three of my sons-in-law at the retreat. I would love to share the experience with all of my sons and dad together. That would be a retreat beyond imagination!

In brotherhood,
Dan Stanton

Fall Retreat Special Guest Tolly Burkan

2011-07-05T20:09:00.000-07:00

Tolly Burkan began teaching in 1973. At that time, he presented "The Science of Happiness," invented by Ken Keyes, Jr. Tolly and Ken taught together and co-authored the bestselling book, How to Make Your Life Work, or Why Aren't You Happy? published by Simon & Schuster in 1976.

Tolly is most renowned, however, as the founder of the international Firewalking movement. Tolly’s approach to Firewalking resulted in a global phenomenon of over three million people attending Firewalking classes. Due to his pioneering strategies, firewalking seminars are now regularly offered on six continents.

Tolly built his reputation by consistently creating innovative, cutting-edge methods for developing human potential. In 1977 he created the world’s first Firewalking class and began teaching Firewalking to the general public. In the 1980s, he founded the Firewalking Institute of Research and Education, started working with large corporations and began training instructors. The '90s transformed his work into a mushrooming corporate trend. Even mainstream companies such as Microsoft, American Express and Met-Life began including Firewalking in their executive empowerment seminars.

In addition to being the first person to offer Firewalking in public seminars, Tolly was the first to offer public seminars teaching ordinary people to walk barefooted, unharmed, on shards of broken glass; the first to teach public classes that included metal bar bending; barehanded brick breaking; arrow snapping; and many other esoteric practices of heightened awareness and empowerment, usually reserved for a select few.

In 2008, Tolly retired from teaching Firewalking. Presently, he lectures and conducts private retreats at his home in the Sierra Mountains of northern California. Tolly has authored eight books that are available in 13 languages, and has been featured in over 50 books, hundreds of magazines and newspapers, and on the front page of The Wall Street Journal. He regularly appears on all major television networks and has been a guest on Donahue, Regis and Geraldo.

Tolly expresses that, “Knowing the secret behind Firewalking can improve your life! Even if you never do it yourself, knowing how it works can bring you better health and increased personal power. Why? Because Firewalking demonstrates how your thoughts impact everything else in your life. Thoughts change brain chemistry, and that results in an alteration of body chemistry as well. Firewalkers are instructed to pay close attention to their thoughts, since those very thoughts are the way in which we create our own realities. Positive thinkers literally live in a different chemical environment than negative thinkers. They impose less stress on their immune systems, and the result of that should be obvious.  I have been researching Firewalking since 1977 and am considered to be the foremost authority on the subject. Because of this work, the United States now has the largest Firewalking culture in history.”

A Circle of Men

2011-07-05T20:03:00.000-07:00

Stephen J. Johnson, Ph.D.

As a preface to this article, I would like to let you know that there is an opening in my Wednesday night Men’s Therapeutic Support Group in Woodland Hills. If you would like to join, please call me at 818-348-8948.

Why Men's Groups?

It appears that men today are just as cut off and stuck as their predecessors. Our culture is faster and more demanding than ever before. Men find themselves caught in the rat race, struggling to keep up, and challenged to balance their lives against the demands of roles that call for them being providers, husbands and fathers. They are wondering whether they can even be there for their families to the degree that their own fathers were and they carry a perception that their fathers weren't present enough for them. This creates internal concerns about their capacity to measure up to the standards that they have set for themselves.

It is my experience that many more men today are walking around with greater degrees of anxiety and depression manifesting in a variety of acting out behaviors often showing up as compulsive addictions. Even though many of these men will choose to suffer in silence, we are finding that there are those among this group who are also seeking solace through some form of therapeutic engagement. Many are stressed out, tired, disenchanted and despairing. They can't keep up and feel that they are falling behind and in grave concern for the quality of their lifestyles and overall capacity to find meaning and enjoyment in their lives.

Typically, men who begin to question their lives prior to their mid 30's are the exception rather than the rule. Younger men have tended to be more interested in their careers and external relationships than they are in exploring the hidden realms of their psyches or souls. When the younger men get involved in self-exploration they stand out as exceptional individuals indeed. As men move closer to mid-life, they sense an inner churning and longing for something more than the material trappings of the world. There is a spiritual questing, often arising from a katabasis or personal crisis that prompts men to inspect their lives, ask penetrating questions and seek meaningful answers.

When Men Gather

Those of us who are interested in men's issues have observed that on a broad scale there is no meaningful shared passage into manhood for men today, nor has there been one for several generations. One might argue that the military provides this; however, we would be hard pressed to secure a consensus for this premise and furthermore, a limited percent of males enlist.

Historically, men as hunter-gatherers and farmers knew who they were as men. Their sons spent many hours every day with their fathers and grandfathers, learning through the process of being together what manhood was about. The elders would informally and formally induct the young men into the community of men. But as technology evolved, our great-grandfathers went from the rural farming culture to the urban industrial culture. Men moved from the farms to the cities and into less meaningful and/or unfulfilling work. This was a profoundly significant shift, because our work is such an important part of our identity.

The involuntary abandonment by fathers established that for several generations boys in our culture have been raised almost entirely by women. Women, simply because they are women, cannot teach boys about manhood. Without men, there is no possibility of any rite of passage into manhood. Therefore, for several generations, men have been losing the sense of what mythologist Michael Meade calls "gender ground".

In May of 1982, Robert Bly's groundbreaking interview in New Age Magazine was a lightning bolt of insight into men's souls. He said, "Our dads weren't there for us, so we were all raised by women, and we can't learn about manhood from women, so we have to learn about manhood from each other."

For centuries, men in indigenous cultures had gathered to seek counsel and perform ceremonies and rituals to initiate boys into manhood and to receive guidance from elders and to mutually support the community of men. Secret societal groups like the Masons, the Elks, Moose, Knights of Columbus and others served as opportunities for men to come together.

During the 1960's, driven by the Vietnam War, older men and younger men became suspicious of each other, causing distrust, polarization and estrangement, eventuating in a rift in the community of men that would last for more than twenty years.

The women's movement only served to further confuse men, causing them to question and doubt themselves. Men tended to perceive themselves through eyes that often held them with contempt. Men distrusted each other and many avoided identifying with traditional masculine values. In the 1970’s the divorce rate began to rise and families split apart, leading the way for the birth of the “age of narcissism.” The advent of the "me generation" began to blossom during the 1980’s. Many agree that the pervasive attitude of “entitlement” has come into full bloom during the first decade of the new millennium.

It was in the mid-80's that, through the help of men such as Robert Bly, younger men began to seek the mentoring guidance of older males who understood what was going on with them. The identification with the concept of "father hunger" swept through the community of men like wildfire. Unfortunately, the media did not approach what was happening in men with respect or reverence. Men reacted to the parodies of their inner longing with shame and dropped their pursuit and retreated to their customary practices. Men cautiously reached out to other men who were exploring what had come to be called “men's soul work.” Leader-led and leaderless men's groups were created and have continued to act as sacred containers for men to explore their wounds, to bond and to support the evolution of men's mental, emotional and spiritual development.

The Purpose of Men's Groups

The purpose of a men’s group is to lend support and help for one another in learning new ways to be in relation to each other. Groups need to be a safe place to try out new behaviors, such as being more assertive, relaxed and confident. Groups should allow members the freedom to talk about unusually sensitive topics related to issues of relationship, sexuality, health, career and other intimate concerns.

The mission is to develop a process by which a group of men, who are reasonably compatible and who come together with a mutuality of intention, will learn to resolve conflict, earn trust and care for each other.

Support groups emerged out of the energy of the women's movement and its "consciousness-raising" groups designed to liberate women from what they experienced as a male-dominated culture. From these sprang some remarkable men's groups. Men, in the early days of the men's movement, were avowed feminists. Self-help groups began as experimental offshoots of therapy groups and quasi-religious movements. Recovery and AA meetings are examples of some of the oldest self-help group organizations.

Of these two types of groups, support groups gather with more of a consciousness-raising personal growth, feel-good focus, while self-help groups gather to deal with a specific problem and have a coping-better-with-the-problem focus.

Therapeutic support groups are led by a trained therapist who brings his clinical expertise to the exploration of the underlying psychodynamic during the process of men supporting each other to be their personal best. In a way it might be said that the men sit on each other's board of directors.

The Goal of Therapeutic Support Groups

Traditional forms of talk therapy are probably not the best ways to reach men. David Joliffe (1994) suggests that a better way to deliver counseling services to men is through therapy groups that allow men to tap their masculine power and energy, utilizing it in their own healing process. Hetzel, Barton, and Davenport (1994) conclude that if counselors adopt a gender-sensitive approach, it is possible to reframe behaviors traditionally perceived as problematic in male clients: resistance to expressing feelings, being overly task-oriented, and withdrawing from intimacy. A gender-sensitive leadership style can provide male clients with a fuller understanding of how gender role expectations and their socialization have influenced their lives. Even more important, the group can help them discover a greater sense of freedom and expression.

The essential ingredient in men's groups is a willingness to stay with your group and learn through being together. This requires commitment. Without commitment the group doesn't work. Commitment ensures the longevity necessary to build the trust and safety essential to open up, risk, and share more of who we are.

What is generally missing for us in our society is the safe space that supports our telling the truth at deeper levels. The group provides that opportunity. It is imperative that the group welcomes conflict and supports the sacred trust that empowers the members to learn and transform.

One definition of conflict is simply: "You want one thing and I want another." So defined, conflict is a natural and important part of any relationship. The successful resolution of conflict will involve you and me in telling the often hidden truth about why we want whatever it is we happen to want. In this open sharing we come to know new aspects of each other.

As M. Scott Peck states in his book, The Different Drum: "The essential dynamic of pseudo-community is conflict-avoidance. True community is conflict-resolving." The group must support a commitment to intimacy. Intimacy is sharing those most private thoughts, feelings, and secret parts of our selves over a long period of time. It is something we all need and crave, though few men have known the comfort or experienced the joy of true intimacy, especially with other men.

A primary goal for involvement in a men’s group is meeting the challenge of opening our selves to others and finding acceptance as a vital step toward coming to know our own power. This is not the old dominating "power over", but the personal "power to" create our own lives, as we want them to be. Inherent in the ability to be intimate is the power to trust and love who you are at this moment and to replicate in the macrocosm of the world at large what has been gained in the microcosm of the circle of men.

(Revised - July, 2011 – may be reprinted upon request)

Director's Message for June 2011

2011-06-12T21:05:00.000-07:00

Greetings, Sacred Path Community,

We’re getting the June newsletter out a little late this month, partly due to the Leonard Orr events that were held last weekend. I want to highlight two future events, and our July newsletter will contain more information about them, including the registration form for the 24th Annual Fall Sacred Path Men’s Retreat, October 20-23.

We had a group of about 50 that attended Leonard Orr’s presentation on Friday night and 43 for the experiential day featuring conscious connected breathing sessions I’ve known Leonard since 1974 and he never ceases to amaze me. I introduced him Friday night, not only as an original thinker, but simply put, an original. He is one of a kind. His ideas and concepts are revolutionary and tend to push one to stretch beyond the scope of ordinary self-limiting reality to expand one’s mind and embrace the extraordinary realm of human consciousness.

We had the perfect blend of male and female seekers that came together exuding such peaceful and loving radiance throughout the weekend. You’ll find another of Leonard’s articles herewith including a review of the weekend by Rich Manners. Many thanks to all who participated and to the 15 skilled Rebirthers who assisted; you made a significant impact on the quality of the practicum. We’re looking to next June to create another event featuring Leonard.

The women who attended acknowledged the consciousness of the men who were present. So many events of this nature are packed with women and a smattering of men. Conscious women love being in the presence of heartfelt, conscious men. The Sacred Path Community is not only a community of men but is also comprised of the women who love the men and love being around them. I have a date set aside at Holy Spirit on Saturday, September 17th. I’m considering hosting another day for men and women and am contemplating the nature of the event. Stay tuned for more about this in the July newsletter.

Mark your calendar now for the 24th Annual Fall Sacred Path Men’s Retreat commencing Thursday, October 20 through Sunday, October 23rd. In addition to the community gatherings, the tribe meetings, the conscious connected breathing sessions, the Inipi sweat lodges, the Recovery Meetings and the delicious meals, to name a few of the highlights, we are bringing back by popular demand Charles Horten and his F.I.R.E. team from Texas to facilitate another firewalk, glass walk, board breaking and perhaps a couple of other breakthrough processes. And, our very special guest presenter is Tolly Burkan, the father of the firewalk. Tolly has not made a public appearance in over 3 years. You can read more about Tolly at TollyBurkan.com. From his web site, read the following:

“Knowing the secret behind firewalking can improve your life! Even if you never do it yourself, knowing how it works can bring you better health and increased personal power. Why? Because firewalking demonstrates how your thoughts impact everything else in your life. Thoughts change brain chemistry, and that results in an alteration of body chemistry as well. Firewalkers are instructed to pay close attention to their thoughts, since those very thoughts are the way in which we create our own realities. Positive thinkers literally live in a different chemical environment than negative thinkers. They impose less stress on their immune systems, and the result of that should be obvious.  I have been researching firewalking since 1977 and am considered to be the foremost authority on the subject. Because of this work, the United States now has the largest firewalking culture in history.

Even though firewalking has been practiced since before recorded history, never before have so many common people participated in this ancient ritual that had previously been reserved for only a select few. My ideas regarding firewalking have evolved over twenty-four years of leading and learning from firewalks. My theory regarding why people are not burned when walking over red-hot coals is remarkably different from all the others, but I have found each of the other theories flawed in one way or another.” 

The fee for this retreat will be $495. I’d like to recommend that you get out a piggy bank or another sacred container, and that you start making donations to yourself each week so that your fee for the retreat is handled by the time the retreat arrives. I have made this recommendation before, but I’ve not felt that people really take me seriously. It’s a really good strategy for effortlessly handling of the finances for the retreat. Consider this: there are 20 weeks between now and the retreat. If you put $25 away each week starting right now, the retreat would be paid for by the time it occurs. Please don’t let money hold you back from attending. Money is the cheapest way to pay, and your life is more valuable than the money that you will invest to participate in a potentially life-changing experience. And consider sending in your deposit in July confirming your commitment to attend and reserving your place. I’m envisioning between 80-100 in attendance. The men that attended last October are coming back with family members and friends.

Stay Mindful,
Stephen

Rich Manners: Review of Leonard Orr Event, June 3-4

2011-06-12T21:03:00.000-07:00

This event was one of those wonderful occurrences in which the assistants received just as much benefit as the participants. 50 people attended Leonard’s lecture on Friday night, and 43 populated the rebirthing process on Saturday. Participants and assistants alike were drawn from the Los Angeles Men’s Center and the rebirthing circle, and first-time rebirthers were joined by veterans of more than 30 years’ experience. The two groups had a lot in common and easily blended into one well-connected community.

Leonard’s lecture on Friday night was centered around the 5 aspects of a complete life: spiritual, physical, social, economic, and political, and how we can best bring each of these aspects to healthy fruition. In addition, Leonard spoke of attaining spiritual purification, ridding oneself of emotional energy pollution (EEP), and overcoming the death urge. This is accomplished using air (breathing in energy as well as air), water (bathing twice a day), fire (cleansing the energy body by proximity to fire or meditation on candles), and earth (quality vegetarian diet, fasting, exercise). The group repeated affirmations dealing with retarding and reversing aging, preventing illness, and living in harmony with the universe.

Saturday’s rebirthing exercises were quite productive. A trained assistant accompanies each team of two rebirthers, and an atmosphere of safety and trust pervaded. There were two sessions, morning and afternoon, followed by a period of sharing what arose for some of the rebirthers and assistants.

Many of the participants expressed a desire to continue their rebirthing practices, and Dr. Johnson promised to look into more events for men and women in addition to the rebirthing opportunities provided by the Sacred Path men’s workshops and retreats.

The Living Earth

2011-06-12T21:01:00.000-07:00

by Leonard Orr

Every year I like to write an article on one page or as brief as possible on the idea of physical immortality. You may not think that this has much to do with the living earth, but as you will see, it has everything to do with it.

Earth, world, universe, planet, are words that can be interchangeable or have separate meanings. This living planet is composed of earth, air, water, and fire.
This planet is as much a living intelligent Being as any human. Its intelligence functions somewhat differently than that of humans, but the earth planet has intelligence and a whole integral awareness. Just look at dirt. We may not think
that dirt has intelligence, but steel, gold, homes, cars, computers, and all our food
and our bodies are dependent upon the intelligence in earth. Night and day are dependent upon its orderly movement.

The human body is composed of the same earth, air, water, and fire intelligently interacting. In fact, if the body and the earth didn't have more intelligence than most people, we wouldn't live even 10% as long as we do. So when is the human species going to catch up with the intelligence of the earth and physical body?

Orthodox religions have not realized in thousands of years that the body takes care of the soul a lot better than the mind does. In fact, the mind is the most dangerous influence on both the soul and the body. The human mind creates all of the problems that both the body and the earth have to deal with.

When will we learn to respect our intelligent living body and our living earth –
Mother Nature?

Here is what we can think about this year. If our body is earth, air, water, and fire, and our planet is earth, water, air, and fire, and we plan on destroying our body with physical death, then why shouldn't our living earth help us destroy human bodies with natural disasters. In other words, does the unconscious death urge in humans cause natural disasters?

If in fact the unconscious death urge in humans - the mass mind – causes natural disasters, then we can prevent such disasters by healing the death urge in people. Can or could the floods and fires in Australia be prevented? Could the earthquake in Japan be prevented? Can we prevent the disasters still coming by spreading the idea of physical immortality? AND CAN WE PREDICT NATURAL DISASTERS BY MEASURING THE DEATH URGE? THE AMAZING THINGS ABOUT GOD AND MOTHER NATURE IS THEIR MERCY AND PATIENCE. IN THE 70'S, THE JAPAN EARTHQUAKE WAS PREDICTED BEFORE 2000; IT IS BEHIND SCHEDULE. EVEN BHARTRIJI PREDICTED THAT 90% OF THE POPULATION WOULD BE DESTROYED BY 2010. IT DIDN'T HAPPEN, MAYBE BECAUSE OF THE RELATIVE SUCCESS OF THE REBIRTHING MOVEMENT. DON'T GET COMPLACENT; WE STILL REQUIRE A FEW MILLION REBIRTHERS TO CREATE HEAVEN ON EARTH - THE AGE OF TRUTH. WHAT MAY BE AMAZING ABOUT THE JAPAN DISASTER IS THAT OVER 500,000 PEOPLE LOST THEIR HOMES, BUT ONLY ABOUT 1% WERE KILLED, MAYBE 2%. THE REST ARE GETTING A SPIRITUAL PURIFICATION TRAINING INVOLUNTARILY. THIS WILL LIGHTEN THE DEATH URGE FOR SOME AND MAKE OTHERS LUST FOR DEATH.

MOTHER EARTH IS SO PATIENT AND MERCIFUL, AND SHE IS MAKING HER MESSAGE VERY CLEAR.

An economist told me that the average life of a Fortune 500 company is 40 years. It seems that even huge corporations with hundreds of millions of dollars in income every year get destroyed by the death urge of the founders, the managers, the employees, and the stockholders. PHYSICAL IMMORTALITY PHILOSOPHY HAS TREMENDOUS COMMERCIAL POTENTIAL AND
RELEVANCE. IT IS BASIC FOR PERSONAL HEALTH, HAPPINESS, AND SUCCESS IN EVERY AREA OF LIFE.

And yet people usually put their P I affirmations down after they read them every day in my 9 Day Training and never look at them again, let alone make 100 copies to give to friends. So it looks to me like I am the only one who really cares about your body and our earth!!!

Maybe the idea of physical immortality is central to business success as well as our health and happiness and the well-being of our planet.

If this is true, then the life urge of the leaders of all ecological organizations is the main point and without this, the organizations are all doomed to fail. If this is true, we should never elect old men or women who have a death urge to political office. OBAMA IS MADE STIFF BY EEP AND MICHELE IS GETTING FAT from EEP and lack of spiritual purification.

If this is true, common sense leads us to the conclusion that healing the death urge is the first order of business for each of us everyday. AND THIS IS DONE BY ENTERING THE TRANSCENDENTAL STATE, WHICH MEANS
PRACTICING THE PRESENCE OF GOD, WHICH MEANS THE SPACE BETWEEN OUR THOUGHTS. We have to keep healing it every day because we keep getting re-injected by our deathist friends, relatives and strangers we meet every day.

What is the death urge?

The death urge is any anti-life thought. It is the belief that death is inevitable and beyond our control. It is the idea that the cause of death is outside of ourselves. Why not realize that we all are responsible for our own deaths? WE MAY NOT BE ABLE TO CONTROL EVERYTHING BUT WE CAN MOSTLY CONTROL DEATH. IT MAY BE THE EASIEST THING TO CONTROL. IT SEEMS THAT EVERYONE CONTROLS HIS/HER OWN DEATH.

The death urge is a complex of thoughts and habits that are transmitted by family traditions. All life insurance companies are based on this truth and are betting that you will die at approximately the same age and symptoms as your parent of the same sex. But there are exceptions. How do we become exceptions?

Through 50 years of research, I have noticed that it takes more than changing our beliefs and philosophies to become immortal. I noticed that even people who write books about physical immortality usually die before 100 years.

So what is the secret of physical immortality? AND TO PERSONAL EXTINCTION?

The 3 basic causes of death are ignoring our natural divinity, EEP, the negative
emotional mind, including the death urge, and poor diet. Eating dead animals kills
more people than alcohol, drugs, and smoking combined. It doesn't take much
intelligence to figure this out. Even medical researchers have done it.

I went to India to study actual immortal yogis who have to be at least 300 years
in the same body to qualify for my research.

What I found surprised me. I discovered the there are 6 basic secrets of the immortals and that they are all simple and pleasurable and easy to do. I
LEARNED THAT TO BECOME AN IMMORTAL IS EASIER THAN
RUNNING A BUSINESS OR RAISING CHILDREN THROUGH COLLEGE,
BUT IT TAKES THE SAME KIND OF FOCUS AND DISCIPLINE.

They are:
Mind. We have to upgrade the quality of our thoughts and feelings, using a mantra, which is simply a high quality thought that is clearly identified and used to
improve the quality of the 50,000 thoughts which we have every day. Happiness is just having pleasant thoughts most of the time. Using a high quality mantra 25,000 times a day is a good use of our time and can be an instant source of eternal pleasure. By definition, it has to be a high quality thought which is a continuous source of pleasure, creativity and freedom. A high quality life is created by a high quality mind. Our feelings and our habits are created by the quality of our thoughts. This is basic.

Earth. This is the quality of our diet and lifestyle. Eating dead animals kills more people through heart disease, cancer, kidney disease, etc., than drugs, cigarettes, and alcohol combined. And what is the point of having a physical body if we don't use it enough - exercise - to stay alive? Music, sound, massage, dance, and other activities that enrich our lives fit into the earth category of self-improvement. Fasting one day per week is the most difficult, but if we do it, eating the other six days is at least twice as pleasurable.

Air. Learning to breathe energy as well as air is the secret of the immortal yogis. It is the easiest and most powerful way to breathe.

Water. Bathing twice per day is the way that these immortals keep their energy body clean and balanced. Perhaps indoor plumbing and warm water are the greatest gifts of our civilization, but this gift is useless if we don't use it for our spiritual purification.

Fire. I noticed that these immortals use fire every day. Through experimenting, I discovered that fire cleans and balances my energy body the way water bathing does, only it cleans different things than water does and is necessary to compliment water purification.

Love. Immortals have harmonious relationships. It is not possible to love responsibly in a democracy without participation in politics.

We can see that the disciplines that keep us alive, happy, healthy, and productive are all pleasurable things to do. They are the disciplines of pleasure. It is interesting that the things that produce eternal life are all pleasurable, and the neglect of these things make us miserable zombies who love death. Life breeds life, and misery breeds death.

So the secrets of the immortal yogis turned out to be simple and obvious.

The practices not only tend to dissolve the death urge that we learn from our family traditions, but also what we can get re-injected with in the process of daily participation in the world of other people who haven't healed their death urge. IN
OTHER WORDS, HEALING THE DEATH URGE FROM OUR FAMILY
TRADITIONS CAN BE DONE BY CHANGING OUR MINDS AND EMOTIONS, BUT WE STILL MUST DO ENOUGH DAILY SPIRITUAL
PURIFICATION TO HEAL THE INPUT FROM PARTICIPATING IN A DEATHIST SOCIETY.

Participating in politics is ridiculously easy. We only need a relationship with 4
people: our elected reps in the city, the county, the state level, and at the national
level. YOU CAN BEGIN BY SENDING THEM THIS MESSAGE EVERY
MONTH UNTIL YOU GET AN INTELLIGENT AND SATISFYING
RESPONSE. Make your note with it personal. And if you don't get a good enough response, go by their local offices and get acquainted with their staff. Their staff determines what gets their attention. When you have this relationship, trust your personal connection to infinite intelligence to know what to teach them next to make them worthy to be your elected representative or throw them out of office.

We only have to ask ourselves one question: is our mind and our body worth saving? This is the big one.

When we come out of the space between our thoughts 50,000 times per day, we determine the quality of our lives and contribute for good or bad to the quality of everyone around us. Are we an eternal fountain of aliveness and prosperity or what?

This information is very urgent. Ramtha predicts that both Japan as well as
California will go under water by June 15 of 2011. We have been hearing these
prophesies since the 70's. Sometimes they motivate people to change themselves
and sometimes not. The biggest disaster is still ordinary death, which kills about
2% of the world's population every year. Each person has to be responsible for himself. By the end of June we will see if this prophet has any value. If not, we still have to keep listening to our Source. Here is a powerful message of common sense about death and the death urge from the Bible.

So we have a contest going on. We can call it Ramtha versus the mercy of God. Or the personal life urge versus the death urge. Or the mass unconscious mind of humans versus Mother Nature. The question is, will the mercy of God save us from the predictions or will it be the mercy of God and Mother Nature that takes people out of their misery? The answers to these questions are up to us.

A rebirther from Japan wrote me after the last disaster and said that she has been a rebirther for 8 years and hasn't shared it with anyone, because as we know, Japanese are not aggressive. She was waiting for people to be open and seek spiritual help. Now she says people are seeking God more. She asked me to help.
I had to tell her that it is up to her, and I put her is touch with other rebirthers near her that I have trained. The question is how many disasters will it take to get people interested in their Divine Nature and to take responsibility for the content and quality of their minds?

The Wisdom of Solomon, chapter I, verses 12‐16 (In the Catholic and Jewish Bible)

God did not Create Death

12 Do not bring on your own death by sinful actions. 13 God did not invent death, and when living creatures die, it gives him no pleasure. 14 He created everything so that it might continue to exist, and everything he created is wholesome and good. There is no deadly poison in them. No, death does not rule this world, 15 for God’s justice does not die.

16 Ungodly people have brought death on themselves by the things they have said and done. They yearn for death as if it were a lover. They have gone into partnership with death, and it is just what they deserve.

What you do with information today may determine your well-being on every level of your civilization. Is it up to you or God?

We are immortal until we kill ourselves. Most people kill themselves with food. But we get some of our appetite from EEP, and EEP is the most basic source of unconsciousness. Mental noise is the basic source of sinful actions - of the things that we say and do that bring death upon people. It is emotional energy pollution that drains our life energy and causes our yearning for death.

When we are living in the eternal consciousness of the eternal Spirit, we are no longer driven by conditioning, and we have to choose what to do with our eternal
Energy. Life is no longer driving us; we can live in artistic self-expression. We then have the responsibility to make up our own lives. We have an abundance of energy from the spiritual purification practices with earth, air, water, and fire. We enjoy all of our relationships. We constantly choose higher and higher quality thoughts. Our 50,000 thoughts are the source of happiness, bliss, and many kinds
of accomplishments.

When we are living in the freedom of spiritual liberation, we can choose our
quality of life. We have the awesome responsibility to control our lives; life no
longer controls us. We create our karma; karma no longer controls us.

I have a friend named Stan Brown who desired to prevent San Diego from going into the ocean in the late 1980's. He went there from the East Coast and did fire ceremonies full time for over a year to prevent the disaster. It evidently worked, but I don't know how long his work is good for. There is a very powerful passage in the Life and Teachings of the Masters of the Far East by Baird Spalding, which enables us to prevent prophesies. I recommend that we all study it. We used to hand it out to all quests at the training center in Sierraville, Californis. We can do this again now. It probably should be a part of all trainings until we move into the age of truth.

The big question is this: is humanity willing to go for Life, or are too many people dedicated to ignorance? Or is it in the best interest of everyone in the mercy of God and Mother Nature to put miserable people out of their misery? I am glad that I don't have to answer this question. We will see in the coming months and years what the answer will be. I am the eternal optimist. I believe that if there were enough people teaching and practicing spiritual purification, God would bet on our work and extend mercy to the limit. Can He bet on you?

Even if the Maha Kranti (great destruction or great revolution) did happen, we still have to create an educational system for adults as well as children that will actually enlighten us in a way of life that includes spiritual purification and democracy in a way that actually works. Why not do it now? If we don't prevent the prophesies, we will get a head start on our civilization after them.

To be liberated means to live in the mind of God. The qualities of our Divine
Nature are love, joy, patience, gentleness, goodness, trustworthiness, self control, beauty, wisdom, truth, simplicity, bliss, power, mercy, energy, harmony, all knowledge, purity, good judgment, order, beyond the mind, creator of all things, infinite, eternal, all present, materialized and non-materialized, limited and unlimited, dependable, and everyone.

Need Therapy? A good man is hard to find!

2011-06-12T20:58:00.000-07:00

By Benedict Carey

Between unresolved family conflicts, relationship struggles and his mixed-race identity, James Puckett had enough on his mind in college that he sought professional help. But after bouncing from one therapist to another, he still felt stuck.
“They were all female, and they did give me some comfort,” said Mr. Puckett, 30, who works for a domestic-abuse program in Wisconsin. “But I was getting the same rhetoric about changing my behavior without any challenge to see the bigger picture of what was behind these very male coping reactions, like putting your hand through a wall.”
He decided to seek out a male therapist instead, and found that there were few of them. “I’m just glad I ended up with the person I did,” said Mr. Puckett, who is no longer in therapy, “because for me it made all the difference.”
Researchers began tracking the “feminization” of mental health care more than a generation ago, when women started to outnumber men in fields like psychology and counseling. Today the takeover is almost complete.
Men earn only one in five of all master’s degrees awarded in psychology, down from half in the 1970s. They account for less than 10 percent of social workers under the age of 34, according to a recent survey. And their numbers have dwindled among professional counselors — to 10 percent of the American Counseling Association’s membership today from 30 percent in 1982 — and appear to be declining among marriage and family therapists.
Some college psychology programs cannot even attract male applicants, much less students. And at many therapists’ conferences, attendees with salt-and-pepper beards wander the hallways as lonely as peaceniks at a gun fair.
The result, many therapists argue, is that the profession is at risk of losing its appeal for a large group of sufferers — most of them men — who would like to receive therapy but prefer to start with a male therapist.
“There’s a way in which a guy grows up that he knows some things that women don’t know, and vice versa,” said David Moultrup, a psychotherapist in Belmont, Mass. “But that male viewpoint has been so devalued in the course of empowering little girls for the past 40 or 50 years that it is now all but lost in talk therapy. Society needs to have the choice, and the choice is being taken away.”
The reasons for the shift are economic as well as cultural, most people in these professions agree. Managed care took a bite out of therapists’ incomes in the 1990s. Psychiatry, the most male-dominated corner of therapy, increasingly turned to drug treatments. And as women entered the work force in greater numbers, they proved to be more drawn to the talking cure than men — in giving the treatment as well as in receiving it.
“Usually women get blamed when a profession loses status, but in this case the trend started first, and men just evacuated,” said Dorothy Cantor, a former president of American Psychological Association who conducted a landmark study of gender and psychology in 1995. “Women moved up into the field and took their place.”
The impact of this gender switch on the value of therapy is negligible, studies suggest. A good therapist is a good therapist, male or female, and a mediocre one is a mediocre one. Shared experience may even be an impediment, in some cases: therapists often caution students against assuming that they have special insight into person’s problems just because they have something in common.
Still, perception is all-important when it comes to seeking help for the very first time. In a recent study among 266 college men, Ronald F. Levant, a psychologist at the University of Akron, found that a man’s willingness to seek therapy was directly related to how strongly he agreed with traditionally male assumptions, like “I can usually handle whatever comes my way.” Such a man on the fence about seeking treatment could be discouraged by the prospect of talking to a woman.
“Many men like this believe that only another man can help them, and it doesn’t matter whether that’s true or not,” Dr. Levant said. “What’s important is what the client believes.”
Both male therapists and men who have been in treatment agree that there are certain topics that — at least initially, all things being equal — are best discussed within gender. Sex is one, they say. And some men are far less ashamed about affairs when speaking to another man.
Aggression is another. Many men grow up in a world of hostile body language and real physical violence that is almost entirely invisible to women. A bar fight that sounds traumatic to a female therapist may be no more than a good night out for a man. Likewise, a stare-down in the sandbox that looks vanishingly trivial from a distance may lie like a poisoned well in the stream of the unconscious.
In some men’s groups he used to run, Dr. Levant passed out index cards and had each participant write down the one thing he was most ashamed of, that he was reluctant to admit to himself, much less to anyone else. “I would get things like, ‘I backed down from a fight in junior high school,’ ” he said, “and these were mostly middle-aged, married guys.”
In just the past few years, psychologists have identified a number of issues that are, in effect, male versions of the gender-identity issues that so many mothers face in the work force: the self-doubt of being a stay-at-home father, the tension between being a provider and being a father, even male post-partum depression.
“In the same way that there is something very personal about being a mother, something very important to female identity, the experience of fathering is also very powerful,” said Aaron Rochlen, a psychologist at the University of Texas, Austin. “And some men, I think, prefer to talk about that — the joy of being a father, the stress, how it’s impacting them — with a therapist who’s had the same experience,” from the same point of view.
If they can find one, that is. “I remember when I started training, I looked around and realized that for the first time in my life, I was an endangered minority,” said Ryan McKelley, a psychologist at the University of Wisconsin, La Crosse. “Now I tell my male students, if you’re interested in clinical care, you can write your own ticket. You’ll be hired immediately.”

Director's Message for May 2011

2011-05-01T16:50:00.000-07:00

Greetings Sacred Path Community,

We have a rare opportunity to spend time with one of the most influential spiritual teachers in modern history. On June 3^rd and 4^th Leonard Orr will be in Los Angeles and will be with our Sacred Path community offering an evening presentation and a day-long experiential retreat. Leonard and I have been devoted friends since the mid 70’s, but have not worked together in several years. His travels take him around the world extensively as he shares his insights and offers trainings on spiritual purification and conscious connected breath-work. My work has been mostly in LA, yet the building of our spiritual community is very consistent with Leonard’s vision for the expansion of conscious communities comprised of individuals committed to self-development and worldwide transformation. Leonard and I did have an opportunity to see each other at this time last year. That is when I invited him to come back to LA this year to work with us and he accepted the invitation.

I encourage you to not miss this opportunity. Leonard likes to suggest that learning and mastering the simple and pleasurable principles of spiritual purification can “be hazardous to your misery.” I can attest that my meeting and working with Leonard during the 70’s and 80’s made a tremendous difference in the quality of my life, both personally and professionally. I credit Leonard as being one of my most significant teachers and mentors. He will awaken you to a higher realm of awareness regarding your self, your relationships and your purpose for living on Earth at this most turbulent time. We are in the period that has been called the “Quickening,” also referred to as “The Great Awakening,” and each and every one of us is called to move beyond self-limiting thoughts, to expand our awareness and join the ranks of those who are enlisting to make a positive difference where it counts, and I believe we all know that it counts now more than ever.

I have included an article that I wrote that offers some insights about spiritual purification through the process of Rebirthing. Also included in this issue are a couple of articles by Leonard and some information regarding his June training in Sierraville, California. The early discount is extended to anyone wishing to attend the training who registers for Leonard’s events with us in LA. His events are open to both men and women. There is no limit to enrollments for Friday evening, but we will be limiting the number of participants for the Saturday event, so I encourage you to sign up now to reserve your spot. On Saturday, we will experience the conscious connected breathing process with a trained Rebirther facilitating each dyadic team. If by chance on Friday night there were any openings for the Saturday event, you would still be able to register, but better to be safe than sorry.

On another note, we had a great spring Sacred Path Men’s Retreat and are already planning for an invigorating fall Retreat. I believe that what we are working on presently will come together and that we’ll be providing some very exciting news regarding the fall retreat in our next issue.

Be sure to mark your calendars now to hold the dates: 24^th Annual Fall Sacred Path Men’s Retreat, October 20 – 23, 2011.

Would you like to be involved in a weekly men's therapeutic support group? I have two openings in my Tuesday night group that meets in my Beverly Hills office from 7-9pm. The core group of members are great guys, so you'd be in good company. Send me a message at DrJ@DrStephenJohnson.com if you're interested and we'll discuss.

In the spirit of community,

Stephen

To download the flyer/application for the June 3-4 presentation with Leonard Orr, click HERE

Two Events for Men and Women with Leonard Orr

2011-05-01T16:32:00.000-07:00

On Friday, June 3^rd, from 7 to 9ish pm, Leonard Orr will speak about “The Five Greatest Ideas of the Century” and on Saturday, June 4^th, from 8:30am to 4:30pm, you will experience Conscious Connected Breathing, which is one of the key elements to attaining Spiritual Purification.

Along with such folk heroes as Ram Dass, Fritz Perls and Timothy Leary, who said of Leonard’s book, Breaking the Death Habit, “Leonard Orr’s book is the most realistic and practical one in the field of conquering death.”

Leonard is one of the originators and elders of what we term today, “The New Age Movement.” The founder of Rebirthing Breathwork and the conscious breathing movement, he has published more than 20 books in more than a dozen languages.

His International Rebirthing Movement has served over ten million people on six continents, and he is a pioneer in the Physical Immortality Movement.

Dr. Stephen Johnson stated that, “Leonard is one of my most influential teachers and mentors. Our relationship commenced in the mid 70’s when I joined a group assisting him during the pioneering stage of his birthing the Conscious Connected Breathing Process (aka Rebirthing). Through this work I was privileged to co-found the Los Angeles Rebirthing Community. Leonard has many unique ideas and concepts that he will share in his presentation on Friday, June 3^rd, and you will have the opportunity under his guidance to experience the transformational breathing process on Saturday. These events are open to both men and women. I’m giving you the heads up and suggesting that you register right away because the Saturday event will have a limited enrollment.”

To download the flyer/application, click HERE

Conscious Connected Breathing and Spiritual Purification

2011-05-01T16:31:00.000-07:00

by Stephen J. Johnson, Ph.D.

In 1974 I completed my Doctoral Dissertation and graduated from the University of Southern California with a Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology. The topic of my Dissertation was The Effects of Yoga Therapy on Self-Concept, Conflict Resolution and Emotional Adjustment. The research was performed through the Kundalini Research Institute, and I had significant results from my study evidencing the value of practicing Kundalini Yoga Therapy to support one’s personal well-being.

I taught Hatha and Kundalini Yoga for about 5 years as an extension of my psychotherapy practice. Yoga is still very much a part of my life today. Dr. Leo Buscaglia, Professor of Special Education and renowned lecturer on the topic of Love, had become an advisor, mentor and friend who sat on my doctoral committee. We had a mutual interest in Yoga and commenced our study together, taking classes on campus.

At the time I was also utilizing certain psychoactive plants and drugs to enhance the depth of my work selectively with some of my patients. I was being mentored by Dr. Gary Fisher, who was studying the effects of hallucinogens such as LSD in the treatment of severely disturbed patients. He had written approximately 200 journal articles on the topic.

In 1975 I met Leonard Orr at a Humanistic Psychology Conference held on the campus of UC Berkeley. Leonard was exploring the power of conscious breathing and had coined the term Rebirthing due to his awareness that circular breathing could unlock the effects of traumatic events, including birth trauma, held in one’s cellular memory. I was eager to experience the process and found it to be as powerfully effective in inducing an altered state of consciousness as the psychoactive elements I was working with at the time. Rebirthing has also been referred to as Maha Yoga or supreme Yoga.

I went on to support Leonard in his pioneering work, and along with two associates created Holistic Arts Productions and began to host Leonard’s Rebirthing Trainings in Los Angeles. We established the Rebirthing LA Community and then hosted Sondra Ray’s Loving Relationship Training, becoming the LA training center for Leonard and Sondra’s work. I joined the ranks of Certified Rebirthers and began offering my own workshops and trainings as well.

Sacred Breathing Sessions became central to the therapeutic work that I was facilitating through my psychotherapy practice, seminars, practicums and retreats. Learning Leonard’s concepts regarding spiritual purification through the elements of earth, air, water and fire has served as a tremendous influence on my life personally and professionally.

Rebirthing is essentially a conscious-connected breathing process that integrates body, mind and spirit, helping you to maintain a perpetual state of relaxation. As you clean and balance your energy field, a profound sense of well-being is produced. Effects on life are immediate. As negative patterns held in the mind and body start to dissolve, you begin to experience your natural center.

The primary purpose of the process is to release restrictions in your breathing and resistance held throughout your body since birth. The goal is to teach you to breathe energy as well as air. Consciously breathing energy is the secret to deep relaxation and therefore plays a big part in a tension-free and dis-ease free lifestyle. Over the years that I have taught people how to balance and clean their energy fields I have witnessed significant transformation and successful results in their lives.

I have found circular breathing sessions to be quite beneficial in treating patients who experience a lot of anxiety and are prone to panic attacks. We have found that having approximately 10 one- to two-hour coached Mindful breathing lessons can be just what the doctor ordered to transform your consciousness and put your life on the right track.

Leonard Orr: The Two Trees

2011-05-01T16:30:00.001-07:00

There is new hope. A new Nostradamus book has been found. It says that when the true meaning of the Garden Trees is revealed, the Age of Truth will come...

In the Garden of Eden with Adam and Eve there were two special Trees.

Do you remember what they are called? The tree of temptation was called the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. The Bible says that if Adam and Eve ate the fruit of this tree they would surely die.

Understanding the true meaning of this story is a matter of Life and Death. And yet I have never in my life heard a sermon in any church that explained the true meaning of this story. Here is the true meaning of these trees and if you honor this meaning and practice these simple truths, you will have the secret to Life, to success, and to personal mastery.

The name of the second tree is The Tree of Life. To eat of this tree, the Bible says, gives us Everlasting Life. Since Adam, very very few people have discovered the meaning of this Tree. The Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil is the Mind. It is the fruit of this Tree that produces death in our thoughts, beliefs, and feelings. When we get trapped in our thoughts, beliefs, and feelings, we die. We cut ourselves – our mind and body – off from the Source.

The Tree of Life is Life Itself – the space between our thoughts, beliefs, and feelings. The Tree of Life is the Energy evenly distributed throughout time and space. It is the Eternal Spirit, God, Infinite Being. It is Life Itself.

To eat of the Tree of Life is to Live in the reality beyond the Mind, which is the Source of the Mind and all things. It is the thinker. To bring our Mind into harmony with our Divine Nature is Eternal Life. Learning to live with Spirit Power instead of Mind Power or Physical Power. Absolute Power is Perfect Rest. When people are stuck in their Mind, “the Spirit no longer strives with them."

To eat of the Tree of Knowledge is to be dependent upon the Mind and external reality.
To eat of the Tree of Life is to be dependent only upon Infinite Eternal Spirit. We have to Live in Spirit which is Love, Simplicity, and Truth. We have to learn how to get our strength and power and peace and rest from Spirit rather than forcing it with the mind and physical power. This doesn't mean being lazy and sitting around meditating on a mantra. It means using the mantra to motivate ourselves to move, and love, and be of service. Not just running around doing nothing, but intelligent action grounded in wisdom and joyous, creative artistic Self expression. We can find ways of serving God, ourselves, others, and the planet in eco-friendly ways that are designed to support high quality Life for everyone.

Since Pure Life exists in the space between all our thoughts and we have over 50,000 thoughts per day, we are involuntarily visiting our Source over 50,000 times per day. But most people don't realize that this space is the Tree of Life. They are not aware of their Divine Nature and do not build it into their self-esteem nor listen to it. The ultimate True Religion is Silence. In Perfect Silence there can be no argument; no doctrinal differences. There is only unity and Oneness. This Oneness can resolve all conflicts. Oneness can stop all wars.

Everything that exists is created by mind. But we are the Source of Mind and all thoughts, doctrines, beliefs, and feelings. They all are optional and subject to choice. The purpose of conflicts are to expand our communication and raise us into higher Truth until we dwell in Truth, Simplicity and Love which is Knowledge of Life Itself. When we master our relationship to the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil and the Tree of Life We become the masters of our own Eternal Life.

However, in order to eat of the Tree of Life, we have to get past the flaming sword and get back into the garden. The flaming sword is the symbol for spiritual purification. What is this? Simple spiritual practices with earth, air, water, and fire do the job.

Earth practices are vegetarian diet, regular fasting, a personal exercise system, massage, sound (music, percussion,,etc), and doing work that we love - a career of loving service.

Air practices are conscious energy breathing.

Water practices are bathing twice per day and being conscious of the quality of our drinking water.

Fire purification is done by sitting with an open flame alone for 5 to 19 hours while meditating on our energy body.

In addition to these simple practices, we have to watch the quality of those 50,000 thoughts per day and have harmony in all our relationships, in other words, to live in love all the time.
Meditating on the names of God continually is the basic form of prayer that pulls the Presence of God into our lives and raises the quality of our live into the Presence of God.
Think spiritual community!

Each of the above simple practices is scientific and self-validating and yields a Life of Pleasure and Inspiration, even Bliss.

Leonard Orr: Rebirthing and the 8 Biggies

2011-05-01T16:29:00.001-07:00

Rebirthing is a tool for healing, personal growth, and spiritual awakening.
Conscious Breathing helps us to process our minds and emotions by supplying the energy and the power needed to transform ourselves, heal our emotions, and reach a greater inner balance. It is a safe, effective, and natural technique.
Rebirthing was created by Leonard Orr in 1974 and has since been practiced by millions of people worldwide. Some yogis have practiced the circular breathing rhythm used in Rebirthing for centuries. It is said in the Vedas (Indian Scriptures) that circular breathing leads to eternity.

The Biggest Biggie
By
Leonard D. Orr

In the 1970's I became internationally famous for listing and clarifying the major sources of human trauma. I called them the Biggies – the 8 major causes of human trauma – mental and physical illness.
They are:
Birth Trauma – including prenatal and infancy memories. Infancy memories stuck in the body are the basic cause of most terminal diseases. They are terminal only because we use wrong methods for attempting to heal them.
Parental Disapproval Syndrome – this is what most psychoanalysis is about.
Specific Negatives – misusing the tremendous power of the human mind to create our own trauma and negative experiences.
Unconscious Death Urge is rooted in the belief that death is inevitable and beyond our control, but usually works according to family tradition.
Karma from Past Lives – if we had some, and most people do. Conscious reincarnation is an alternative to physical immortality.
School Trauma – most people had their divine nature and creativity totally stifled and destroyed by school through emotional energy pollution and unnatural curriculum. Many people become zombies by their 20's, if not earlier.
Religion Trauma – few religions develop our natural divinity and teach mental practices that enable us to realize our potential.
Senility – senility and old age are not death sentences, but the beginning of the youthing process. But without mastering spiritual purification, the goal of the human civilization seems to make people zombies.
The common denominator of all these sources of human debilitation is emotional energy pollution. We are inundated with Energy and information that we cannot digest. This emotional energy pollution is not transmitted verbally nor rationally, but by the contact of one person’s emotional body with another person’s emotional body.
Emotional energy pollution is nonverbal. It is a basic undercurrent in all human interaction.
We not only feel anger, fear, depression and illness from other people, we can also feel peace, happiness and health. We automatically pick up excess energy impregnated with information that doesn’t necessarily have any rational content.
E.E.P. is also called psychic dirt, the pain body, stress and tension, habits, unconscious beliefs and feelings, sin or just memories.
Sin is a meaningless word for most people. The Greek word for sin means to miss the mark. When you realize that the mark is the constant experience of Oneness, the word takes on rich meaning.
We absorb emotional energy pollution when we are sitting in a meeting, bus, train or plane, or when we go to the supermarket or pass people on the street. It can be felt and even measured somewhat by spiritually sensitive persons. Most people are already inundated by so much E.E.P. that they don’t feel much – they are already zombies. These people are the chief polluters.
But even relatively pure people who bathe twice per day, meditate, do spiritual purification with fire, breathing, good diet and exercise, also have some E.E.P. that we can feel.
When I met a 2000-year old man, his presence felt like a feather. We don’t often meet people who are totally clear.
If you look at the 8 biggies of human trauma, obviously only people who have survived old age and senility are basically clear and clean in their energy body. So we have to be victorious over the basic human condition to be actually spiritually enlightened. Otherwise, it is just a theory – a very valuable theory. But the theory of enlightenment has to be practiced and actualized.
Most people don’t achieve much spiritually in this Life because they are overwhelmed by E.E.P.
Three of my best friends died in the last few years of being trapped in the guru syndrome. I am pointing out to you that E.E.P. is probably the greatest killer. E.E.P. kills more people than eating meat, believing that death is inevitable and even automobiles. Eating meat is the basic cause of heart disease and cancer and all kinds of victim consciousness. And E.E.P. even kills people who believe in and strive for physical immortality. This is true because our diet is largely controlled by E.E.P. Emotional energy pollution is just energy that contains information. It doesn’t matter if the information is good or bad. All information that is not the knowledge of the Tree of Life is the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil and kills people if they eat it. The Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil is the mind. The fruit of this tree is our thoughts, beliefs and feelings.
The knowledge of the Tree of Life is the knowledge of the substantive qualities of Life Itself. These are the eternal qualities of our Divine Nature.
People who are trapped in their own thoughts, beliefs, doctrines and feelings in a way that cuts them off from the Tree of Life, must die. Death is inevitable for them, but for people who are entering the Tree of Life, death is optional.
Even the belief in physical immortality can kill us if we allow it to separate us from the Transcendental State. We have to Live in the Reality above the Mind – in the reality that is beyond reality and is the Source of Reality. Physical Immortality philosophy is not a substitute for Living in the Presence of God.
We don’t have to do anything to be immortal. We are immortal by nature. We just have to remember this above all things: thoughts, beliefs, doctrines, memories, habits, attitudes and feelings. This is the Science of Life and Personal Aliveness.
“For God (Spirit, Energy, Being) so loved the earth, air, water and fire (the world), that He gave us His Natural Divinity (His son) that whoever knows (believes in Him), his/her Divine Nature will not perish, but have Everlasting Life.”
Our Divine Nature is Energy, thought and Form – the Holy Trinity, with nothing added.
Our body is created by Thought and maintained by following the rules built into its health and aliveness. The physical body is created and maintained by the Energy Body and the emotional body – mind. Our body is the effect of our mind. Our body-mind includes our conditioning and this is E.E.P. - it includes thoughts, feelings, beliefs and unconscious energy concentrations – energy colored by thoughts and feelings of other people whether it is conscious or unconscious. It is positive or negative mental mass floating in their aura and ours.
We can clean this stuff out of our aura with the basic spiritual purification practices of fasting, good diet, exercise (earth), conscious energy breathing (air), bathing twice per day (water purification), especially with the snorkel habit, and fire – sitting by an open flame.
These basic Spiritual Purification habits can clean the mind faster than the mind can clean the mind. Knowing this is the supreme wisdom of the mind. Winning the spiritual purification game is what keeps us alive and enables us to defeat death. This is the teaching of Babaji from the beginning of creation and will be until the end. These are the rules for an immortal body. Eventually the practices allow us to experience our body as points of light – a light body – seen and experienced as physical – a hologram that can be perceived and touched by others. We can realize the Ideal Divine Body.
When we are losing the spiritual purification game, we can see it through our symptoms – including stiffness; lack of flexibility in mind and body; feeling miserable, depressed or angry; and the guru belly phenomenon. Our death urge can get out of control. We tend to indulge in self-sabotaging behavior, become non-functional and unproductive, and sabotage relationships and our success in every area of our lives. We become zombies – walking dead people. The obvious solution for this condition is to do enough spiritual purification practices with earth, air, water and fire to get our joy of Life back.
The deathist state is accelerated to the extent that we neglect the practices.
Even though we do these practices, the guru syndrome can still kill us. When I work too much with other people, my guru belly exceeds 40 inches and the “noise” of others` E.E.P. destroys my quality and joy of Life so much that I feel like dying.
Solitude works, especially when I do it with the earth, air, water and fire practices.
The E.E.P. includes birth trauma, infancy atrophy, parental disapproval, eating habits, the death urge, heavy feelings and foggy emotions we absorbed from our family and schoolmates, past life karma, senile behaviors, physical weakness, faulty religious perceptions and excess noise that cripples our productivity and makes us non-functional and lazy. It is both – mental and physical paralysis.
The best cure for this state is nothing – to do nothing but relax and wait on the Lord to enter our body and bring us back into abundant Aliveness and Health. And while we are waiting on the Lord, to sit or sleep with fire, bathe before sunrise and sunset, eat healthy food and fast, stay in good physical condition with hiking, manual labor or hatha yoga, and conscious energy breathing. Mantra japa also fuels all this with Divine Power and Love.
The guru syndrome can keep us from doing all this. And we have to teach our students to do it, as well as teaching them to unravel the death urge which they learned from their family tradition, past lives, cultural and religious conditioning, etc.
Babaji says very simply, “The wise do spiritual practices,” and he sets the example in all of His bodies on Earth.
The practices do work! Fasting and fire purification can liberate our breathing. And people who only know and practice Rebirthing – conscious energy breathing – discover sometimes that it no longer works. Obviously, these people have to learn and add the practices with earth, fire and water.
E.E.P. can be very dangerous. It has killed my friends. It could kill me if I am not aware of it and don’t watch it. It can make me very miserable, but the practices with earth, air, water and fire take it away. Earth, air, water and fire can clean the mind faster than the mind can clean the mind. This is the supreme wisdom of the mind. Jesus and all great saints died because of E.E.P. Even Babaji died of E.E.P. to teach us how it works.
Energy plus information is mental mass.
If you have an inch of dust on your floor, it won’t go away if you have beautiful thoughts about yourself or God.
You have to get a broom and a dustpan and clean it up and throw it away. The same is true of E.E.P. We have to do the work and get rid of it. It takes as long as it takes.
I wish the problem would go away, but Babaji once told me that earth, air, water and fire is the eternal Sadhana. The problem of E.E.P. and cleansing it with spiritual purification is built into the nature of Energy, thought and Form.
It won’t go away, just as the process of cleaning our homes, dishes, clothes, etc, doesn’t go away.
Our Energy Body is invincible; it even survives death over and over. However, we have to take care of it, if we desire for it to keep the physical body in great shape.
There are two kinds of body types: the obese body and the stiff body. Without soaking in water, spending enough time with the fire and conscious energy breathing, even exercise can turn people into stiff zombies. People who depend on diet alone – even the best raw food diet – die because of lack of water, fire and air purification.
Breathing is the queen of yoga – pranayama.
Thinking is the king of yoga – meditation.
But even energy breathing and meditation together doesn’t work without earth and water. We have to consciously use all the four elements in balance.
Together they produce victory over the greatest danger in this world – E.E.P.

Leonard Orr: Return to the Sacred

2011-05-01T16:26:00.000-07:00

Stephen Johnson and Leonard Orr, 1985

2011-05-01T16:23:00.001-07:00

Elder Brotherhood at its Best

2011-05-01T16:22:00.001-07:00

We wish all commercials would be this sensitive!

Click HERE to view.

Welcome to Dan Franklin's Website

2011-05-01T16:20:00.000-07:00

Dan Franklin, my friend, colleague and Associate Director of MCLA, is launching his new web site and monthly newsletter. You can click on the link that will take you to his site and first edition of his newsletter and you can register to receive his monthly mailings if you wish. Just click here: www.danfranklinmft.com

Director's Message for April 2011

2011-04-03T15:30:00.000-07:00

Greetings Sacred Path Community,

Our 24th Annual Sacred Path Men’s Retreat gets under way in just a few days. It kicks off this Thursday in the afternoon through mid-day Sunday. At this point we have over 30 participants registered and a support staff of nearly 20. Yes, you can still sign up, and your presence will add dimensionally to the successful outcome of our time together on the mountain. It looks like we’ll have a community of 50-60 good men joining to bring out the best in each other.

In addition to our large group community time and small group Tribe meetings we’ll hold a number of breakout sessions. Thomas, Andrew’s cousin, will be pouring water for our Inipi (Sweat Lodge) ceremonies, and he plans to “do Lakota style doctoring” with all of the participants. I will speak about the significant global changes and the quickening we’re experiencing as well as the importance of spiritual purification and ways to prepare ourselves for this time of great awakening and transformation.

Among the other choices you’ll have for your work on the mountain: John Mafrici will facilitate the Sacred Breathing process; Steve Branker, Associate Director of MCLA, will take us through the Love letter clearing process; Nick Rath will be present to conduct a breakout session on fathering and Herb Rubinstein will facilitate breakout sessions featuring his passion for flying model scale planes. It’s an opportunity to tune into your inner child and further your bond with a youngster. He’s going to bring a number of planes with him and demonstrate and support participants as we build our own and learn to fly them. Read more in the side bar re: Herb’s plans to bring some new fun into your life.

Dan Franklin, my friend, colleague and Associate Director of MCLA, is launching his new web site and monthly newsletter. You can click on the link that will take you to his site and first edition of his newsletter and you can register to receive his monthly mailings if you wish. Just click here: www.danfranklinmft.com

On June 3rd and 4th we’re looking forward with anticipation to welcoming Leonard Orr, the Father of Rebirthing, for an evening presentation and a day-long experiential workshop for men and women. We will send out a special mailing and registration form in two weeks. For now, if you haven’t already marked your calendar, please do so. You won’t want to miss the opportunity to meet Leonard and learn from this amazing soul.

Please don’t miss this opportunity to join your brothers for the retreat at the end of the week. If you’ve been waiting to register or not sure if you could make it, I truly hope that you’ll realize that these are rare occasions to give something special and needed to yourself. What are you waiting for? Accept the gift...you are the present...open it now.

In the spirit of brotherhood,
Stephen

To download and print the fill-in registration form for the April 7-10 retreat, click HERE

To register for the retreat online, click HERE

Herb Rubenstein: Building and Flying Radio-Controlled Planes

2011-04-03T15:26:00.000-07:00

Of all the cool things out there that you can do with your son, I would submit that building and flying a radio-controlled plane is one of the best bonding mechanisms there is.

At our workshop, we will explore this subject in depth. I will bring a simple plane that can easily be built in a couple of evenings, not some glitchy thing from the hobby store but a real plane that you build yourself, so that you are intimate with every detail and can repair it in minutes. I am talking about a 3-d style slow flyer that you will be able to control right away, and if it crashes – well, you know every connection, joint and component.

Because your kid is probably better on the joystick and has hundreds of hours of experience racing cars and maybe even planes, he will probably master the techniques of flying before you do! This is a great confidence builder for a kid. After all, when the two of you play basketball, who always wins? But flying an RC plane is an area where a kid is going to kick his dad's ass! The kid can be the expert and show his dad what's up – role reversal at its best.

I look forward to sharing my experiences and showing off my planes – and hopefully getting some recruits into the world of RC planes.

Herb

Neal Gabler: Day of the Lout

2011-04-03T15:23:00.000-07:00

from the Los Angeles Times Entertainment Section, February 13, 2011

Unsophisticated, lazy, misogynist males may be the primary models for today's young American men. Ugh.

If you've seen a beer commercial in the last two years — and how can you avoid them? — you know the type. He's a twenty- or thirty-something, sort of a slacker, with a beautiful and adoring girlfriend who just can't seem to pry his attention away from his suds. She expresses ardor, he looks ardently at his mug or can of beer. She wants to talk romance, he wants to talk anything but. She gets exasperated; he snuggles obliviously with his beer as she departs in a huff.

Most modern takes on manhood say that guys will do anything to bed a woman, but this is a new kind of man, and he seems to be everywhere these days, not just on beer commercials but in movies, on TV, on hundreds of morning radio shows and in bestselling books, to the point where he is generating a culture of new masculinity. He may even be the primary model for young manhood in America today.

He's a lout, from the English word for "an ill-mannered fellow," which was itself derived from a verb "to stoop," and his emergence says something important about men today.

The male image has gone through all sorts of transformations, especially over the last 50 years when feminism evolved and obligated men to adjust to the new circumstances of coequal women. The old strong, silent type, essentially a breadwinner and breeding stud, gradually gave way to the sensitive male, the engaged male, the homebody male who shared child-rearing and household duties with his wife.

Of course, some men found this emasculating and actively resisted the process. Some tried to laugh it off. But culturally speaking, there may have been a less overt resentment that has been simmering for a long time and that may account for the recent eruption of the lout. He seems to be a form of passive-aggressive revenge against what some men see as the indignities feminism has forced upon them — indignities that have been exacerbated by economic hardship.

The lout is not exactly a reversion to the old macho stereotype. He isn't tough, muscular, steely, monosyllabic, able to build a car engine or a house singlehandedly or sail around the world solo. He's not a sophisticate either, a Dos Equis most-interesting-man-the-world type. He doesn't dress to the nines or know his wines or drive a Porsche, and he isn't able to make witty cocktail party repartee. A lout is someone who is proudly stuck in a kind of adolescent parody of manhood that conflates insensitivity and machismo.

Louts luxuriate in their lack of sophistication. Louts travel in packs or just hang out with one another. Louts dress in T-shirts and jeans and eschew fashion. Louts guzzle beer rather than sip wine, and they are most likely to be spotted in bars or lounging on living room couches watching football. Louts don't talk feelings; they talk sports and beer. Louts have few needs and no shackles. Above all, louts may ogle women and snicker about them, but women are pointedly never their top priority. At most, women are objects, just like in the old days. That's the revenge part. Louts don't have to make any concessions to women. Louts barely need women. Just give a lout a Bud and his buds and he's happy.

Of course, embedded in loutishness is the idea that the lout is irresistible to women even as he disdains them — in fact, because he disdains them. In this view, women, who have allegedly been overpampered for the last few decades, just love louts, even when they pretend they don't. As this male fantasy goes, men are so cute when they act like galoots. So not only does he not have to make concessions to women, he can do or say whatever he wants without any consequences because in lout culture insensitivity is the new sensitivity.

I'm Gone Now: A Love Poem

2011-04-03T15:21:00.000-07:00

I'm gone now, but I'm still very near.
Death can never separate us.
Each time you feel a gentle breeze,
It's my hand caressing your face.
Each time the wind blows,
It carries my voice whispering your name.
When the wind blows your hair ever so slightly,
Think of it as me pushing a few stray hairs back in place.
When you feel a few raindrops fall on your face,
It's me placing soft kisses.
At night look up in the sky and see the stars shining so brightly.
I'm one of those stars and I'm winking at you and smiling with delight.
For never forget you're the apple of my eye.

Mary M. Green

Director's Message for March 2011

2011-03-07T20:09:00.001-08:00

Greetings, Sacred Path Community,

Last Sunday evening my 30-year old son, Derek, received word that a very close friend of his had been killed earlier that day in a skiing accident in Tahoe. My wife and I held Derek as we all cried, releasing heart-wrenching pain over such a tragic loss. It immediately brought back the memory of losing my close friend, Pete, to a motorcycle accident just before graduation from high school in 1965. I remembered being held by my parents on that fateful day.

I knew Derek had loved Jeff like a brother. Our family had come to know him as a wonderful young man who had touched the hearts and minds of everyone whom he had befriended, and he made friends easily. I knew he loved life and adventure and committed 100% of himself into everything he did, including snow boarding, rock climbing, team sports and poker, to name a few.

His rock-climbing buddies always could count on Jeff to keep them safe. I knew that he was an intelligent young man with a curious and inventive mind who found work as a computer programmer in a San Francisco-based firm. And I knew that he was a bright light that radiated love and caring to all and that all who knew him held him in high regard.

But at his memorial yesterday I came to realize truly what an exceptional man Jeff had become. Many of his friends from all walks of his life told stories as testaments to a life well lived. I became aware of just how many of his friends considered him a true brother who they could always count on in innumerable ways. One after the other spoke of how Jeff always “had their backs” and would do anything for them.

Jeff had created his own community. It was a fellowship that comprised brothers and sisters engaging in the enjoyment of life and nurturing a loving bond that united them in a spiritual family. Everyone commented on how Jeff would make them laugh and how he gave each of them a greater appreciation of the value of friendship and living life to the fullest. There was unanimous agreement that their lives were enhanced so much more as a result of knowing him. He will definitely be missed.

When I saw the picture (taken from a painting that was presented to Michael Lynch as a gift of acknowledgement) of the two men climbing together I was immediately struck by the image of the bond between men united in adventure and brotherhood. I asked Michael if we could put it in the newsletter and he received permission from the artist to do so. I believe it captures the essence of what we do on retreat in the spirit of men helping each other to climb higher and to become better men. I dedicate this image to the memory of Jeffrey Halperin (1980-2011) and to all of you that will be joining us on retreat next month.

Life is precious, and the opportunities to join in fellowship are too few, when you consider how many obligations and responsibilities pull us in divergent directions. I hope that you will consider this opportunity in April (7-10) to be one of those all too precious moments not to let pass unattended. Let’s unite once again in the spirit of brotherhood to bring out the best in us. Even though we’re not conducting the CTA portion of the retreat, we will have a number of fathers and sons joining us, and we’ll certainly have plenty of opportunities to reward ourselves through the adventure of what we’ll create during the 24th Annual Spring Sacred Path Men’s Retreat. Please read about it and register now.

Also in this newsletter are some articles that we believe you’ll find interesting and helpful. I’m pleased that my article, What Your Marriage Needs to Survive, submitted to the Good Man Project Magazine through the Society for the Psychological Study of Men and Masculinity, remains among the top 5 most popular articles into the second month of publication. Dr. Andrew Smiler’s article, Are Men Natural Born Cheaters? and Billy Johnson’s article, The Benefits of Sharing Emotions, also submitted through SPSMM are featured in this issue. My friend and colleague, Dr. Ron Alexander has released two new Mindfulness Meditation CD’s that can be acquired through accessing his web site. His article, Expressing Mindful Love Through Service, is also featured in this issue.

We’re looking forward to Leonard Orr’s two MCLA/SP events on June 3rd and 4th. Be sure to mark your calendars now and watch for more information in the April newsletter.

I’m sure you have heard a lot about the significance of the end of the Mayan calendar on December 21, 2012, and the prophesized occurrences impacting our earth and the world’s inhabitants. The truth is that the full lunar eclipse on winter solstice, December 21, 2010, occurring at a time of rare planetary alignment, signals the beginning of what amounts to an unparalleled spiritual Renaissance of consciousness in modern times. This period is being referred to as the Great Awakening and The Quickening. The protests and dramatic changes in the middle east, the weather and environmental conditions occurring in Australia, New Zealand, the US and elsewhere, including other curiously unexplained events like birds dropping from the sky and fish beaching themselves, appear to be harbingers of things to come. Read below where I have included something from Daily Om and some information expressed by Shaman Kiesha Crowther, aka “Little Grandmother,” offered to us as urgent reminders of the importance to not be asleep now but rather to awaken, rise up and fulfill our destinies. We’re all here today to make a difference in tomorrow.

Namaste,
Stephen

February 22, 2011
Universal Awakening
Rippling And Tipping

At this time of awakening, even small acts can become great forces in the world, like pebbles making ripples in a pond.

A snowball at the top of a mountain has the potential to become huge, just by rolling down the mountain and gathering more snow. In a short time, this tiny snowball can become a force to be reckoned with. We humans are like this when it comes to exchanging energy and vision, and no matter how few people are involved at the beginning, there is the potential for massive change. As consciousness seekers, we are in the midst of this process, and it is amazing to see people we thought might never come around, waking up to their truth. Each time we see this, we can count ourselves blessed to be living at a time when the awareness of humanity seems to be at a tipping point, as more and more individuals open their minds and change their ways.

For some people, this revolves around an awareness of the environment, for others it is a spiritual awakening, and for many it is both. A great change in consciousness is sweeping through us all, as we recognize that things are not what they have seemed to be, that there is more to our lives than meets the eye. Many of us have the awareness and the energy at this time to break through old, outmoded ways of seeing things and to move into a new way of being in the world, and it is essential that we do so. The beauty of living at this time is that even small actions have a powerful ripple effect, and the reverberations of what we do have the power to reach and open many minds.

It is as if a scale is about to tip in favor of higher consciousness, and each one of us has the power to bring humanity closer to that point with the smallest of actions. Each time we move in the direction of our dreams and visions, we can visualize another small pebble dropping into the pond, or another gold weight on the scale, rippling and tipping our way to universal awakening.

For Love of Mother Earth: The Great Shifting
By Kiesha Crowther "Little Grandmother"

WE ARE ALL LIVING at a very profound time on our planet. Mother Earth is going through a shift she has never gone through quite like this before. We are living on the planet in a time that has never been before. The planet is going to start shifting and changing and moving into her High Self. She will change into her own kind of heaven. This is the time of great change that all indigenous peoples have been speaking about for hundreds and hundreds of years…

Kiesha Crowther "Little Grandmother" video clip "Time To Get It" www.youtube.com/watch?v=ezmISnZ_WpY

Spirit has taught me that Mother Earth is sacred and that human beings will not be allowed to kill her. She is sacred to all life forms in the universe, not just to human beings. If human beings will not be allowed to kill her—then we need to raise our vibration high enough so that we can shift with her into a higher being, because we have been causing her great harm for so long that something major must happen to correct the path we are on, to help her to breathe again. For human beings, the situation is urgent. We must shift into a higher consciousness if we are to remain on planet Earth as her children.

If you listen, none of the indigenous elders or wisdom keepers on our planet is saying, “Now you must go and do something.” They are saying, “Be.” They are telling us to be the change, to focus on “being” rather than on doing, for once. If enough of us can connect with our hearts and the Love that is there, the Love that is all around us in nature, and understand the beauty and sacredness of this life we are given—we will flip the ruling consciousness of the planet from mind, to heart. We are sparks of the Divine consciousness. Each of us has a “Great I AM,” which sent a spark of us here to experience and learn from being in a human body and from having this amazing human heart. I am here to help you to remember.

By living from love, and being in the heart, we remember that most sacred truth that we are all brothers and sisters and children of one mother—Mother Earth. We are not separate from each other, or from any other life form. What happens to one of us happens to all of us. Because human energy is identical to Earth energy, what happens to Mother Earth also happens to us, and vice versa. Yet we are capable of changing this world we live in. There is a prophecy in many indigenous cultures that at the time of the great change on earth, in this time we are living in, humanity would unify as one family, one tribe… and that this tribe would be made of “many colors.”

When I was initiated as shaman and told that I was a “wisdom keeper,” I was told that my tribe was to be the “tribe of many colors.” I know now that my Great I AM sent a spark of me here at this time to help the children of planet Earth to remember who they are, to love our Mother Earth, and that “we are the ones that we have been waiting for.” We are the Tribe of Many Colors, the strongest of strong souls who chose to be on Earth at this time, to fulfill the tremendous task of shifting the consciousness on the planet back to the heart and to Love. We must unite under the banner of Love and show our most sacred Mother how much we love Her, how we are willing to do anything to save Her, and to continue on as Her children here on Earth. We are capable of creating a beauty we have barely glimpsed on earth. And we will.

"When birds fall from the sky and the animals are dying, a new tribe of people ...shall come unto the earth from many colors, classes, creeds, who by their actions and deeds shall make the earth green again. They will be known as the warriors of the Rainbow." —Hopi Prophecy

Attention: very important!!! Something is very wrong with the electromagnetic field... animals are dying everywhere... Mother needs our prayers NOW... this is what we are here for as the tribe of many colors, to counter act those humans acting against the laws of nature!!

To download and print the fill-in registration form for the April 7-10 retreat, click HERE

To register for the retreat online, click HERE

Stacey Windrich: May 22, 1959 - February 2, 2011

2011-03-06T17:37:00.000-08:00

Stacey was married to Zoran Windrich, a long time member of the Sacred Path community and the Wisdom Council. They were married for 24 years and have two beautiful children. Their daughter Zantara is in her first year of college, and their son Zane is in his first year of high school. Together, the four of them created a family that taught each other many life lessons as they moved through time together. Stacey faced a long and courageous battle with cancer and was finally able to make her transition with peace, dignity and grace. A “celebration of life” gathering was held in her honor on Saturday, February 26th, at the Topanga Community Center. Nearly 200 of Stacey’s relatives and friends came together to view a pictorial history of her life and to share their experiences in knowing her. Stacey dedicated herself to taking care of others and doing whatever she could do to make a difference in their lives. Many people spoke of their relationships with her. It was a typical Stacey gathering where people on many different paths came together, stories were told and tears were combined with laughter to create another meaningful experience for everyone. And at the end, we all knew that Stacey was there with us once again, showing her bright and beautiful smile. I know that our thoughts and prayers go out to Zoran and the children at this time. If you would like to send a personal message to him, his email is: Zoran@Windrichgroup.com.

Stephen Johnson's Article Remains in Top Five into the Second Month of Publication

2011-03-06T17:27:00.000-08:00

If you didn't have the chance to read and comment on What Your Marriage Needs to Survive, here is another opportunity.

To read the article in Good Men Project Magazine, click HERE

Sacred Path Men's Retreat Only One Month Away!

2011-03-06T17:22:00.000-08:00

What if you could retreat from the world in such a way that when you returned, you felt more alive, more inspired and more able to create effective results in your daily life?

What if you could take a vacation from your daily life and re-discover your authentic self, open up to new possibilities and experience real brotherhood?

What if 4 days could offer you a valuable opportunity for introspection so that you can honestly review your life?

What if you could discern the changes you want to make in such a way that you return home with a realistic game plan for your personal transformation and renewed energy to put it in motion?

The Sacred Path Retreat is a 4-day experience set in a supportive environment where you can connect with your authentic self within a context of honor, acceptance and understanding. This event will take place on a mountaintop overlooking the coastline, beyond the Malibu city limits in Ventura County. Food and lodging are provided. An enriching experience is promised. An adventure of self-discovery is guaranteed.

Join Dr. Stephen Johnson and the Extraordinary Men of the Sacred Path Wisdom Council for this 4-day retreat as we explore what it means to

Be a Mindful Man Today.

YOU WILL EXPERIENCE:
• An opportunity to be heard and to heal.
• Time to relax, rest, reflect and revitalize.
• The freedom to shake loose, let go and energize.
• Encouragement to stretch, take the step and make the leap.
• Time to be together and time for solitude.
• Opportunities to explore your psyche in large & small group formats.
• Music, Drumming, Laughter, Tears, Joy & Fun

CHOICE OF BREAKOUT SESSIONS WILL INCLUDE:
• American Native Sweat Lodges
• Rebirthing Breathwork
• Relationships — How to improve them, or how to dissolve them with dignity.
• Anger — Learn to deal effectively with the triggers and manage your reaction.
• Parenting — Discover more effective ways of engaging with your children.
• Recovery — Support for your recovery from traumas and life crises including health, addiction, infidelity & divorce.
• The Father Gap — Attend to the wound that never seems to heal.
• Aging — Explore how to sustain youthfulness while becoming an Elder rather than just an Older.
• Mindfulness Training — Expand your awareness and raise your consciousness.
• Movement and Meditation — Get up and go or slow down and go within.

ADDITIONAL INFO
1. Registrations will be accepted until April 5th, space permitting.
2. Cancellations on or before Thursday, March 24th are eligible for a refund, less a $50 processing fee.
3. Deposit fee is non-refundable after March 24th.
4. Full fee is nonrefundable after April 4th.
5. Refunds will be processed within two weeks following the retreat.
6. No registrations will be held without deposit.

To download and print the fill-in registration form, click HERE

To register online, click HERE

Reminder for Two Events for Men and Women with Leonard Orr

2011-03-06T17:19:00.000-08:00

at Holy Spirit Retreat Center on June 3rd and 4th

Mark your calendars now and plan to attend two upcoming events for men and women with Leonard Orr, considered the father of the Rebirthing and Spiritual Purification movement. On Friday evening, June 3rd, Leonard will present on one of his favorite topics: THE FIVE GREATEST IDEAS OF THE CENTURY. On Saturday, June 4th, Leonard will facilitate a day to explore the practical spiritual purification practices enhancing health, vitality and longevity. Each person will experience a Rebirthing session guided by a skilled Rebirther. Leonard will share the salient truths that he has discovered during his worldwide exploration into the phenomena of physical immortality. More information will be forthcoming in the April newsletter.

The Benefits of Sharing Emotions

2011-03-06T17:15:00.000-08:00

by Billy Johnson II

To read this article in Good Men Project Magazine, click HERE

Are Men Natural-Born Cheaters?

2011-03-06T17:10:00.000-08:00

by Andrew Smiler

To read this article in Good Men Project Magazine, Click HERE

Expressing Mindful Love Through Service

2011-03-06T17:01:00.000-08:00

by Ronald Alexander

To read this Huffington Post article, click HERE

Ron's website can be found at: http://www.ronaldalexander.com

Director's Message for February 2011

2011-02-03T14:23:00.001-08:00

Greetings, Sacred Path Community,

There is important news concerning our Spring Sacred Path Men’s Retreat and the Call to Adventure Rites of Passage Retreat. We will be hosting a Spring Sacred Path Men’s Retreat (April 7-10), but we had to make the tough decision to cancel our plans to host the CTA portion of the spring retreat this year due to a lack of funding. We need a minimum of $10,000 to provide scholarships for the young men and mentors that we invite from the inner city to attend.

Several months ago, one of our men had pledged $10,000 in matching funds to stimulate donations to the Walter Atkinson Memorial Scholarship Fund. I had spoken and written about this extensively but by the time our Wisdom Council met on January 15th we had not raised any upfront funds to engage the matching funds. In years past we have always gone forward with the retreat and chased the funding. We have tended to operate from the faith that if “you build it, they will come,” but there is a lot going on with all of our lives these days, and it’s my observation that for many there are personal financial needs requiring more immediate attention. There just didn’t seem to be the impetus to put the cart before the horse this year and chase the funding.

We don’t intend to let the CTA fall away, but it seems that we need the time off this spring to reorganize and approach that vital work with a renewed vision and broader support of our program. We are inviting men from the inner city to join us at the men’s retreat in April so that we can develop more of a core mentor group to support the group of young men that attend the retreat. We will need some scholarship money to make it possible for those men in need to be able to join us. If you would like to assist with that level of funding we would greatly appreciate your help. Please let me know if you’d like to make a donation to the Conrad Burke Memorial Scholarship Fund.

We realize that there are many choices regarding where you spend your time and invest your energies. At the October men’s retreat I expressed that it had become clear over the past 24 years that we are a community of men rather than an organization in the business of putting on retreats. We’ve always been a boutique retreat and not an agency for marketing our retreats to an extensive audience. We realize that the Sacred Path is primarily a community of men that enjoy spending time together and enriching each others' lives through programs that expand consciousness and create opportunities for training in Mindfulness.

This upcoming retreat will offer a range of possibilities rather than a one-size-fits-all. For instance, if what you really need is a respite from the hectic and driving pace of your lifestyle, then come on up and get some much needed rest, relaxation and time for reflection and solitude. We won’t bug you to participate in anything other than what serves your needs. We will offer a variety of break-out sessions on topics of interest as well as our sweat lodges, Rebirthing breathwork sessions, community and tribe times and of course the great cuisine. Read the information about the retreat in this newsletter and take advantage of the early bird discount when you register before March 3rd. We invite fathers and sons to attend with the understanding that this is a men’s retreat and we won’t be facilitating the ropes course, but why not have an opportunity to spend some quality time together in the company of other good men?

In the spirit of brotherhood,
Stephen

To download the flyer/application for the 2/5/11 Day for Men, Click HERE

Still Time to Register for 2/5/11 Day for Men

2011-02-01T15:48:00.000-08:00

SPIRITUAL PURIFICATION
The Science of Everlasting Life
Holy Spirit Retreat Center
Saturday, February 5, 2011

There are practices that support and sustain our ability to maintain balance as we traverse the ups and downs of life’s course for us today. The stresses and strains can take their toll if we’re not prepared and equipped to deal with them. This practicum will present information and practices to fortify you in dealing with these challenges as you determine how you will interface with this fast-paced and increasingly hectic world.

It is important to master a conscious relationship with earth, air, water and fire. These are the basic elements of the physical body and the physical universe. They are forever interpenetrating each other in an intelligent way. Basic spiritual purification practices clean and balance the Energy Body that brilliantly creates and maintains the physical body as well as keeping the mind in a state of equanimity and bliss: the peace that passes all understanding.

Spiritual purification is simple and actually pleasurable. Body-Mind rejuvenation and renewal can be achieved as we sustain the eternal process of becoming more alive and vital. The results of spiritual purification practices and philosophy, including Sacred Conscious Breathing and Mindful Meditation on Empowering Affirmations, can heal the death urge promulgating a slowing and reversal of the aging process and mastery over Physical Immortality.

Leonard Orr believes that “This is the best time in human history to achieve personal practical mastery. We are entering the Age of Truth when everyone will take responsibility for themselves, their enlightenment, and our quality of life.”

For forty years, Stephen Johnson, Ph.D., has been bringing out the best in good men. In 1974, while a Doctoral Fellow in Rehabilitation Psychology at the University of Southern California, Stephen published his research on the Benefits of Yoga Therapy on Self-Concept, Conflict Resolution and Emotional Adjustment. He went on to study a post-doctoral curriculum for four years at the National Academy of Metaphysics and was one of a group of individuals assisting Leonard Orr during his pioneering work with the powerful breathing process called Rebirthing. This became the foundation for the blending of spirituality and psychology that has been at the heart of Stephen’s personal evolvement and his professional practice as a psychotherapist and educator. This is your opportunity to participate in a life enhancing experience with Stephen and a gathering of men who are committed to living conscious lives. You are invited to attend this Practicum on Spiritual Psychology.

To download the flyer/application for the 2/5/11 Day for Men, Click HERE

Registration Open for Sacred Path Men's Retreat April 7th Through 10th

2011-02-01T15:36:00.000-08:00

Be a Mindful Man Today.

YOU WILL EXPERIENCE:
• An opportunity to be heard and to heal.
• Time to relax, rest, reflect and revitalize.
• The freedom to shake loose, let go and energize.
• Encouragement to stretch, take the step and make the leap.
• Time to be together and time for solitude.
• Opportunities to explore your psyche in large & small group formats.
• Music, Drumming, Laughter, Tears, Joy & Fun

CHOICE OF BREAKOUT SESSIONS WILL INCLUDE:
• American Native Sweat Lodges
• Rebirthing Breathwork
• Relationships — How to improve them, or how to dissolve them with dignity.
• Anger — Learn to deal effectively with the triggers and manage your reaction.
• Parenting — Discover more effective ways of engaging with your children.
• Recovery — Support for your recovery from traumas and life crises including health, addiction, infidelity & divorce.
• The Father Gap — Attend to the wound that never seems to heal.
• Aging — Explore how to sustain youthfulness while becoming an Elder rather than just an Older.
• Mindfulness Training — Expand your awareness and raise your consciousness.
• Movement and Meditation — Get up and go or slow down and go within.

ADDITIONAL INFO
1. Deposit of $175 will reserve your spot and secure an Early Bird discount if balance of payment is received by March 24th.
2. Early Bird fee is available until March 3rd.
3. Registrations will be accepted until April 5th, space permitting.
4. Cancellations on or before Thursday, March 24th are eligible for a refund, less a $50 processing fee.
5. Deposit fee is non-refundable after March 24th.
6. Full fee is nonrefundable after April 4th.
7. Refunds will be processed within two weeks following the retreat.
8. No registrations will be held without deposit.

To download and print the fill-in registration form, click HERE

To register online, click HERE

Two Events for Men and Women with Leonard Orr

2011-02-01T15:34:00.000-08:00

at Holy Spirit Retreat Center on June 3rd and 4th

Colorectal Cancer Symposium

2011-02-01T15:31:00.000-08:00

Tower Cancer Research Foundation will be Hosting Colorectal Cancer Symposium at which expert panelists will answer questions and explain the latest advances in treatment and research.

BEVERLY HILLS, Calif., January 18, 2011 – Tower Cancer Research Foundation, a nonprofit organization dedicated to cutting edge cancer therapy and research, will host the second in its series of free symposiums on March 8. The 2011 Tower Oncology Winter Cancer Symposium – Advances in Colon and Rectal Cancer Research and Treatment: A Multidisciplinary Panel Discussion – will take place from 7:00-9:00pm at the Pacific Design Center, 8687 Melrose Blvd., West Hollywood, Calif.

The symposium is open to the public and will feature in-depth presentations from Tower Hematology Oncology Medical Group physicians and other specialists. Panelists will discuss new colon and rectal cancer treatment options, the importance of early screening, the latest news on clinical trial research, and the importance of diet in colon and rectal cancer treatment and recovery. In addition, attendees will have the opportunity to pose questions to the panel.

Doors open at 6:15 p.m. for registrant check in; light refreshments will be available.

“We consider it a privilege to be able to share the latest colon and rectal cancer research and treatment information with the public through this forum,” said Dr. David Hoffman, a Medical Oncologist with Tower Hematology Oncology Medical Group who will moderate the symposium. “Educating the community is an integral part of Tower’s mission and I believe that everyone who attends our symposium will benefit from a better understanding of colorectal cancer.”

Panelists for the March 8 symposium will include:
• David Hoffman, M.D. – Medical Oncologist and Symposium Moderator, Tower Hematology Oncology Medical Group
• Henry Yampolsky, M.D. – Radiation Oncologist, The Center for Radiation Therapy of Beverly Hills
• Peter Lee, M.D., Ph.D. – Interim Medical Director, Tower Cancer Research Foundation
• Mari Madsen, M.D. – Colorectal Surgeon, Colon & Rectal Surgeons of Southern California
• Carey Strom, M.D. – Gastroenterologist, Tower Digestive Health Medical Group
• Jodi Newson, M.S., R.D., C.S.O. – Oncology Certified Dietician, Tower Hematology Oncology Medical Group

“This symposium is designed to offer helpful information to anyone who has just recently received a colon or rectal cancer diagnosis, or who has a family history of colorectal cancer,” said Solomon Hamburg, M.D., Ph.D., President of Tower Cancer Research Foundation. “But we also are well aware that cancer affects many more people than just the patient, and that’s why we’re inviting family members and friends, and anyone who would like to know more, to join us for this symposium. This is an opportunity for the whole community to become more aware of what’s being done to offer treatment, healing, and hope.”

Reservations to attend the Tower Oncology 2011 Winter Cancer Symposium are required. To RSVP, or for more information, please call 310-205-5789.

About Tower Cancer Research Foundation
Founded in 1996, Tower Cancer Research Foundation is a nonprofit organization committed to providing research, community education, and patient support while developing more effective treatments for cancer and blood disorders. For more information, please call 310-285-7242 or visit www.towercancerfoundation.org

We Have Come to be Danced

2011-02-01T15:29:00.000-08:00

We have come to be danced
not the pretty dance
not the pretty pretty, pick me, pick me dance
but the claw our way back into the belly
of the sacred, sensual animal dance
the unhinged, unplugged cat is out of its box dance
the holding the precious moment in the palms
of our hand and feet dance.

We have come to be danced
not the jiffy booby, shake your booty for him dance
but the wring the sadness from our skin dance
the blow the chip off our shoulder dance
the slap the apology from our posture dance.

We have come to be danced
not the monkey see, monkey do dance
one, two dance like you
one, two, three dance like me dance
but the grave robber, tomb stalker
tearing scabs & scars open dance
the rub the rhythm raw against our souls dance.

We have come to be danced
not the nice invisible, self-conscious shuffle
but the matted hair flying, voodoo mama
shaman shakin’ ancient bones dance
the strip us from our casings, return our wings
sharpen our claws & tongues dance
the shed dead cells and slip into
the luminous skin of love dance.
We have come to be danced
not the hold our breath and wallow in the shallow end of the floor dance
but the meeting of the trinity; the body, breath & beat dance
the shout hallelujah from the top of our thighs dance
the mother may I?
yes you may take ten giant leaps dance
the ollie ollie oxen Free Free Free dance
the everyone can come to our heaven dance.

We have come to be danced
where the kingdoms collide
in the cathedral of flesh
to burn back into the light
to unravel, to play, to fly, to pray
to root in the skin sanctuary
we have come to be danced

Director's Message for January 2011

2011-01-02T21:12:00.001-08:00

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Greetings for the New Year,

I trust that you and your loved ones had a rewarding holiday season. Now that 2010 is officially behind us and we are commencing 2011, I wonder whether you feel a sense of renewal and are looking forward to the coming year with positive anticipation or dread. I know that there have been those of you who were relieved to say goodbye to a former year only to realize that the following year was even more challenging than the one that preceded it.

My experience informs me that the past few years have been quite challenging, especially for those that have needed to shape-shift their lives and reorient themselves to a way of being that is more consistent with the global/societal changes that are upon us. We are in the advent of a spiritual Renaissance that is impelling us to rise up to put ourselves in right order to match the intensity of the energies that are abounding. If we do so, then our ride will be smoother and less bumpy. Those that are attached to archaic lifestyles will probably find themselves hard-pressed to surrender to the twists and turns ahead.

"DO NOT WAIT; THE TIME WILL NEVER BE 'JUST RIGHT.' START WHERE YOU STAND, AND WORK WITH WHATEVER TOOLS YOU MAY HAVE AT YOUR COMMAND, AND BETTER TOOLS WILL BE FOUND AS YOU GO ALONG." ~ NAPOLEON HILL 1883-1970

I invite you to kick off the New Year on the right foot and join your brothers for a day to explore the topic of spiritual purification and to experience the conscious connected breathing process of Rebirthing. On Saturday, February 5th, I will facilitate a Day for Men at Holy Spirit Retreat Center. In June on the 3rd and 4th, we will host two events with Leonard Orr, considered the father of the Rebirthing, Spiritual Purification and Physical Immortality movement. We are including in this newsletter some information concerning my history with the Rebirthing process and an article by Leonard on what he considers to be the significant traumatic events that most people will have met along the journey of their lifetimes and how to clear them through spiritual practices. Please download the flyer for the February 5th event and register right away.

We have also been in meetings to discuss the upcoming Sacred Path and Call to Adventure Retreat, April 7-10. There are some exciting possibilities heating up for the spring retreat that we’ll tell you more about as they come together. You can expect to see the information and flyer for the retreat in the February newsletter. Mark your calendars if you haven’t already done so.

To our Sacred Path Community, here’s to a happy, healthy and prosperous New Year for you, your family and friends.

Cheers,
Stephen

To download the flyer/application for the 2/5/11 Day for Men, Click HERE

Download the Flyer for A Day for Men 2/5/11

2011-01-02T13:00:00.000-08:00

SPIRITUAL PURIFICATION
The Science of Everlasting Life
Holy Spirit Retreat Center
Saturday, February 5, 2011

Conscious Connected Breathing and Spiritual Purification

2011-01-02T12:53:00.000-08:00

by Stephen J. Johnson, Ph.D.

Leonard Orr: Rebirthing and the 8 Biggies

2011-01-02T12:49:00.000-08:00

The Biggest Biggie
By
Leonard D. Orr

January, 25 years ago

2011-01-02T12:45:00.000-08:00

Director's Message for December 2010

2010-12-04T14:52:00.000-08:00

Seasons Greetings, Sacred Path Community,

I hope that you and your loved ones had a great Thanksgiving and are enjoying the celebration of Chanukah and looking forward to Christmas as we close out 2010 and welcome in 2011. A New Year marks the opportunity for new beginnings; therefore, it’s a perfect time to recommit to your intentions as you continue to improve your life. Those of you who were at the Phoenix Rising Fall Retreat are well on your way to following up on the breakthroughs you created for yourself on the mountain. These past couple of years have been challenging for many, and as we approach the fateful date of December 21, 2012, it’s most important to put our lives in order and rise up to fulfill our destiny as we are called on to make a positive difference in our own lives and those of others and the world at large.

How Do We Get Ready For 2012?

“Realize that the higher self, the inner voice, is you. Bring your projections home as your own developmental potential. Ask that deeper self to take dominion within your personality selves, and shift your identity from your ego to your essence. This is the key step to being born as a more universal human. Then, find life purpose. Ask to know what you are born to do. Follow the compass of joy. Seek out those who affirm the highest in you. Where two or more are gathered in the name of that highest dimension or your being there, ‘I Am’ is in your midst. Everyone is needed. Everyone is called. The greatest blessing any one of us can have is to say, ‘yes’ to the dormant potential within us. Reach out to those who attract you, and connect with as many others doing the same as you possibly can.” Barbara Marx Hubbard (Evolutionary Futurist)

The epidemic of bullying across the country contributing to the increase in teen-age suicide has sparked national concern prompting anti-bullying measures that are now being passed. In this newsletter we are including information to assist you in dealing with the problem of bullying. You may know someone who is currently suffering, and this information may save a life.

My friend and colleague, Dr. Bruce Derman, who was one of the presenters at our day for men and women has published his latest book, titled The Hole: A fable that takes you on a journey through the struggle with emptiness in your life. Bruce suggests that “This is a fable for anyone who has dared to ask the question: Do I keep trying to fill the HOLE or do I accept my emptiness? Emptiness lies beneath the core of everyone's journey, and understanding this concept is crucial in order to find peace in one's life. Travel with Dirk and Dawn in their countless struggles to fill the HOLE, so that you can learn the secrets of this intense human dilemma.” If you attended the Colloquium, you had an opportunity to hear Bruce speak about emptiness and nothingness where we tend to fear that life is meaningless. If you purchased and read the book, you learned how to take the journey to transforming your fears, as well as how to accept your own emptiness and discover a love, passion and power that can serve as a guide for the rest of your life. I really enjoyed the fable and concur with Bruce’s premise. I recommend it to you and suggest that it would make a great holiday gift. Other books by Dr. Derman: We'd have a Great Relationship if it weren't for you, and We could've had a Great Date if it weren't for you. You can obtain these books from Bruce’s web site: therelationshipdoctor.net or from amazon.com.

Wishing you and yours a blessed holiday season and a joyous New Year,
Stephen

Upcoming Events: Mark Your Calendars NOW!

2010-12-04T14:46:00.000-08:00

We invite you to register for the next Day for Men at Holy Spirit Retreat Center on Saturday, February 5th. This Practicum will focus on bringing your life into balance featuring practices designed to assist you in releasing what’s not needed and embracing what’s important and significant to your life now. We’ll experience Mindfulness Meditations and Rebirthing Breathwork and how earth, air, water and fire are powerful elements for cleansing your energy field and supporting your overall well-being. We’ll discuss clearing practices for sustaining a more relaxed, rested, focused and alert state of inner knowing. For those of you who have asked for a more experiential workshop allowing for emotional release and energetic reinvigoration and revitalization, this is it. And, I’ve invited my friend and spiritual guide, Leonard Orr, (the father of Rebirthing and New Age Spiritual teacher) to present an evening and daylong program for men and women on Friday, June 3 and Saturday, June 4th. This will be a very special opportunity for those in attendance, so set the dates aside. We’ll provide more information in the coming months.

Also, mark your calendars for the Spring Sacred Path and Call to Adventure Retreat, April 7-10. More information will follow. Please keep in mind that we have a special invitation to raise funds for this retreat that will be matched up to $10,000. Charlie Atkinson is encouraging us to secure donations upwards of $10,000 and he will match them, so we have the potential of bringing in at least $20,000 that could make it possible to provide scholarships for many participants at the CTA Retreat. Please consider making a donation. Just make contact with us and we’ll give you the details.

To download the flyer/application for the 2/5/11 Day for Men, Click HERE

A Day for Men with Dr. Stephen Johnson 2/5/11

2010-12-04T14:43:00.000-08:00

SPIRITUAL PURIFICATION
The Science of Everlasting Life
Holy Spirit Retreat Center
Saturday, February 5, 2011

There are practices that support and sustain our ability to maintain balance as we traverse the ups and downs of life’s course for us today. The stresses and strains can take their toll if we’re not prepared and equipped to deal with them. This practicum will present information and practices to fortify you in dealing with these challenges as you determine how you will interface with this fast-paced and increasingly hectic world.

It is important to master a conscious relationship with earth, air, water and fire. These are the basic elements of the physical body and the physical universe. They are forever interpenetrating each other in an intelligent way. Basic spiritual purification practices clean and balance the Energy Body that brilliantly creates and maintains the physical body as well as keeping the mind in a state of equanimity and bliss: the peace that passes all understanding.

Spiritual purification is simple and actually pleasurable. Body-Mind rejuvenation and renewal can be achieved as we sustain the eternal process of becoming more alive and vital. The results of spiritual purification practices and philosophy, including Sacred Conscious Breathing and Mindful Meditation on Empowering Affirmations, can heal the death urge promulgating a slowing and reversal of the aging process and mastery over Physical Immortality.

Leonard Orr believes that “This is the best time in human history to achieve
personal practical mastery. We are entering the Age of Truth when everyone will take responsibility for themselves, their enlightenment, and our quality of life.”

For forty years, Stephen Johnson, Ph.D. has been bringing out the best in good men. In 1974, while a Doctoral Fellow in Rehabilitation Psychology at the University of Southern California, Stephen published his research on the Benefits of Yoga Therapy on Self-Concept, Conflict Resolution and Emotional Adjustment. He went on to study a post-doctoral curriculum for four years at the National Academy of Metaphysics and was one of a group of individuals assisting Leonard Orr during his pioneering work with the powerful breathing process called Rebirthing. This became the foundation for the blending of spirituality and psychology that has been at the heart of Stephen’s personal evolvement and his professional practice as a psychotherapist and educator. This is your opportunity to participate in a life enhancing experience with Stephen and a gathering of men who are committed to living conscious lives. You are invited to attend this Practicum on Spiritual Psychology.

To download the flyer/application for the 2/5/11 Day for Men, Click HERE

5 Strategies to Prevent Your Sensitive Son from Being Bullied

2010-12-04T14:37:00.000-08:00

by
Dr. Ted Zeff

Did you know that twenty percent of the population has a sensitive nervous system and the trait is equally divided between males and females? Therefore, 20% of all males are sensitive, or one out of every five boys has a finely tuned nervous system. A highly sensitive boy (HSB) can be easily overwhelmed by noise, crowds, fearful of new situations and shy away from aggressive interactions. He generally reacts more deeply and exhibits more emotional sensitivity than the non-sensitive boy which unfortunately could result in being bullied.

According to the National Association of School Psychologists, 160,000 children miss school every day in the United States for fear of being bullied; more than 50 suicides have been linked to prolonged bullying; and approximately 85% of school shootings have revenge against bullies as a major motive. School-related bullying has led to depression and poor school performance in many children.

Although research has shown that infant boys are more emotionally reactive than infant girls, by the time boys reach the age of five, they have usually learned to repress every emotion except anger. Societal values emphasize that males should be aggressive, thick-skinned, and emotionally self-controlled, which is the opposite of a sensitive boy. When boys don't conform to the "boy code" and instead show their gentleness and emotions, they are usually ostracized and humiliated.

Bullies tend to target kids who seem different from others. Since the eighty percent of non-HSBs are hardwired neurologically to behave in a different manner than the twenty percent of HSBs, many sensitive boys do not fit in with the vast majority of boys and risk being bullied. Bullies also target kids who don't fight back and who react deeply to teasing. Research shows that 85% of HSBs avoided fighting and most sensitive boys react more strongly to bullying than other boys.

How can we prevent our sensitive boys from being bullied?

Develop Confidence in your Son by Support from Mom, Dad and Other Adults

The unconditional love and support from parents and other adults will give your son the confidence he needs to face difficult situations. Unfortunately, when the burden is placed on one or two frequently stressed-out adults, it's difficult to give the unconditional love and support a sensitive boy needs. Studies have shown that boys who had positive, loving relationships with other adults (grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc.) reported having more positive experiences as a child than those who did not have these additional relationships. Sensitive men from India and Thailand reported experiencing happier childhoods than those from North America which may be due to the role of the extended family and community in raising children in those cultures. So invite your extended family and friends to share their love with your son.

Some people believe that boys need stronger discipline than girls. However, your sensitive son can learn a lesson better when he is calm and receptive, so when you are disciplining your son it's vital to talk to him in a gentle manner. When you set limits in a calm, yet firm manner it will not lower his self-esteem.

Mothers generally spend more time with their children so they are frequently in a position to bolster their son's confidence. However, fathers (or uncles, grandfathers, or other male role models) need to spend special, positive time with their sons. While a father needs to teach his son how to stand up for himself, he also has to understand, protect, and encourage his sensitive son. Both the father and the son benefit when dad accepts his son's trait of sensitivity instead of trying to mold him into a non-HSB. It's important to model setting limits with others so that your son will learn how to set boundaries if he is humiliated for his sensitivity so he won't get bullied.

Make School a Safe Place for your Son

Parents should regularly discuss their son's progress with his teacher, talk to other parents, and volunteer in the classroom. If you find out that a teacher is mistreating your son, you need to immediately let the teacher and principal know that their behavior is unacceptable. If the teacher is not receptive to changing his or her behavior, you should not let your son remain in the classroom.

If your son gets bullied in school it's important to let him know effective methods to handle the situation. According to the Youth Voice Project which surveyed 11,000 teens in 25 schools, the most effective solutions to stopping bullying was accessing the support of adults and peers. Less effective strategies were ignoring the bullying, telling them to stop, and walking away.

Learning self-defense can give your son more confidence when confronted by bullying. You could ask the P.T.A. or the principal to arrange for a professional to come to the school to offer an anti-bullying program. If your son has tried the methods I mentioned above but the bullying does not stop (or becomes violent), contact your son's school. Your son's safety and sense of well-being is of prime importance, so you have every justification to bring the issue to his teacher, school counselor, and/or principal. If your son's physical safety is in jeopardy and the school authorities won't intervene, you could contact the police. However, it may be more prudent to remove your son from a potentially physically violent situation if the bullying escalates to that point.

The good news is that there are options to attending public school, such as progressive private schools (i.e. Montessori, Waldrof, Steiner) that may be more conducive to your son's emotional and educational needs than a large public school. Homeschooling is ideal for most sensitive boys since the HSB thrives in a safe, quiet, less-stimulating environment where they are free to pursue both core and creative subjects at their own pace. To compensate for the lack of social interaction, it's important for your son to get together with other children who are also being homeschooled, hire tutors and enroll him in special classes.

Help your Son Obtain Peer Support through New Friendships

Most boys prefer to socialize in large groups, yet our sensitive boys usually prefer to interact with only one friend or play by themselves. Since they shy away from aggressive, combative interactions, HSBs may have difficulties making friends with other boys. It may be better for your son to have just one friend rather than trying to be accepted by a group of non-HSBs. However, it could be beneficial for your son to learn how to navigate through the majority nonsensitive boy culture as long as the friends involved remain respectful. Take some time to discuss friendship with your son and emphasize how important it is to be with friends who respect him. It's important for your son to create a balance between spending time alone and with friends or he may not learn successful interpersonal skills.

Help your Son Become Physically Fit

When a boy becomes involved in sports, he feels accepted by his peers, which increases his self-esteem. Most boys are involved in some team sports but research indicates that 85% of sensitive boys did not participate in team sports and most preferred to participate in individual exercise. Since HSBs do not perform well under group pressure and may be deeply hurt by the cruel culture of malicious "boy teasing" while playing sports with other boys, they generally avoid such interactions.

Regardless of athletic ability, it's important for your so to participate in physical exercise since it will help him become healthier, stronger and more confident. When an HSB has someone to teach and encourage him how to play various games, he could thrive, even in the insensitive world of male sports. However, before your son joins a team, you should talk with the coach and possibly other parents to make sure that the players are treated with respect and are not overly competitive. The key is to find athletic activities that your son authentically enjoys.

As previously mentioned, learning some form of self-defense can really empower a sensitive boy, helping him feel safe and better able to fend off bullies if needed. It's important to let the instructor know that your son needs support from the trainer. The sensitive boy who masters some form of self-defense becomes less fearful, more confident and frequently more sociable.

Increase your Son's Self-esteem

Research has shown that the more dissatisfied a boy is with his body, the poorer his self-esteem. Therefore, a sensitive boy who reacts more deeply to teasing about his physical appearance than a non-HSB is at risk for developing low self-esteem. Though the media can be a strong influence on your son, as an adult in his life you are the stronger influence by letting him know that his body is perfect exactly as it is. Discuss how the media is perpetuating myths about what a male body should look like.

An important aspect of a positive body image involves good health. Stress affects health and since your son may be more vulnerable to stress than the non-HSB, it's important to help him maintain a preventative health-maintenance program by making sure he eats a healthy diet, take supplements, gets enough sleep and regular exercise.

Finally, while your son's self-esteem may be diminished by his not fitting in with nonsensitive children, he will feel worthwhile as he receives nourishment from his spiritual pursuits. Since most HSBs have a proclivity toward spirituality, you can increase his self-esteem by encouraging your son to learn meditation, prayer, spend time in nature, or read spiritual books about the great sensitive and compassionate spiritual heroes like Christ, Moses and other saints and sages.

There are millions of parents of sensitive boys trying to help their sons cope in a world that does not appreciate sensitivity in males. I'm sure that as you begin using the suggestions in this article you will start seeing a positive change in your son as he becomes a strong, confident, and happy boy.

Dr. Ted Zeff is the author of "The Strong, Sensitive Boy." For more information on the book please visit Amazon.com/StrongSensitiveBoy.

What's the Best Way to Deal with a Bully?

2010-12-04T14:28:00.000-08:00

By
Stephen J. Johnson, Ph.D.

Many school-age children feel that they are misfits and simply don’t fit in with the “in-group” or even the general population of their peers. Kids that are perceived as weird or different can become the target of bullies and become vulnerable to depression, anxiety and the threat of suicide. A 2005 Harris poll found 90 percent of gay and lesbian teens say they’ve been bullied in the past year. And nearly two-thirds of these students feel unsafe in school, according to a 2009 survey by the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network. In September 2010 alone, three teens took their lives after homophobic taunting. The epidemic of bullying across the country has sparked national concern, prompting anti-bullying measures that are now being passed.

“The majority of kids are very reluctant to tell adults they’ve been bullied,” states Kevin Jennings, assistant deputy secretary for the U.S. Department of Education’s Office of Safe and Drug-Free Schools. Experts encourage parents to pay close attention to changes in behavior. A happy child can suddenly become withdrawn or pretend he’s ill to avoid school. If your child seems unhappy and withdrawn and tells you that he or she has no friends at school, that’s a red flag and warrants further exploration

Have you had any personal experiences in dealing with a bully? What did you do about it? Most people have, perhaps when they were young and maybe as adults as well. This was a topic that Yahoo.com wanted to address in their format called, “Answers on the Street.” Their producers, who invited me to be their psychology expert for some of the episodes that were to have a human-interest focus, contacted me. I went into their studios to film the episodes on a variety of topics and this is one of them. I’ve included here an outline of the information that I provided when asked the following questions. An edited version of the interview may be found by logging onto: www.answersonthestreet.yahoo.com

1. Who is a bully? What do bullies do to bully someone?

a. They are children or adults who seek out a victim to attack emotionally and/or physically.
b. They taunt, tease and insult in order to gain power and control over another.
c. They can be relentless.
d. They can be cruel and violent.
e. They like to dominate others.
f. They may have personality disorders.

2. Why do people become bullies?

a. They may need to cover feelings of inadequacy.
b. They may lack good adult role models.
c. They may be bullied by one or more family members at home or by another bully outside the house.
d. They may have fallen into a bullying peer group.

3. Do you know of any ways to deal with a bully?

a. Act Brave -- Take a firm, commanding and non-belligerent stand to let the bully know that you will not allow him to continue his actions.
b. Ignore -- Neutralize the bully’s attempts by not resisting or paying attention. Don’t feed energy to the bully’s efforts.
c. Tell an adult – Speak to someone who is an ally like a parent, friend, teacher, coach, etc.
d. Don’t resort to bullying-back. Avoid aggression and violence.
e. Seek the help and support of friends.

4. Should you stand your ground with a bully or walk away?

Either strategy can be effective under the appropriate circumstances. You might consider that one way to take a stand is to walk away when it’s called for. It doesn’t mean that you’re a wimp or coward by taking the path of least resistance.

5. What would you do to avoid a confrontation with a bully?

Attempt to create space or distance between you and the bully. When that’s not possible, take the bully aside and speak to him privately. Ask him why he doesn’t like you. Try to find out what’s eating at him that’s causing him to take out his anger on you. What are the issues that are causing the pain inside the bully? You don’t have to be his therapist but you can be therapeutic by taking an interest in what may underlie the bully’s behavior. Knowledge is power.

6. Should I raise my voice?

Attempt to speak in a firm and commanding voice rather than rigid and demanding one. Your words have power, and when used with finesse they convey a more powerful message than the one that is delivered with a shout. One doesn’t necessarily hear you any more clearly when you raise your voice. However, a raised voice in a controlled manner can be impressive when necessary.

7. Why do people become victims of bullies?

a. A bully can single out people who isolate.
b. The victims are perceived as different.
c. They have poor social skills.
d. They are at the wrong place at the wrong time.
e. They tend to be silent types.
f. They are carriers of shame.

8. What are some signs that someone is being bullied?

a. Symptoms of school distress like failing grades and loss of interest.
b. Physical symptoms like stomachaches, headaches, nausea, and loss of appetite.
c. Emotional symptoms of anxiety, depression, difficulty sleeping, suicidal ideation, self-mutilation.
d. Disheveled and torn clothes.
e. Missing belongings.
f. Unexplained injuries.
g. Repeated requests for money.

9. How can you help a child who is being bullied?

a. Talk to your child.
b. Ask general and non-confrontive questions.
c. Get a detailed narrative of what’s occurring.
d. Avoid interrupting or judging.
e. Remain calm.
f. Avoid premature solutions.
g. Be patient.
h. Help your child avoid being a target or a victim.
i. Create strategies for dealing with the bully.
j. Enroll the child in a martial arts class.
k. Contact the bully’s parents. Enlist their support to speak with their child so that there is an understanding of the consequences. Have the bully apologize/make amends and replace stolen property or repay for the loss. Seek an introspective understanding concerning the misconduct.
l. Watch for signs that the behavior may not have stopped.

10. What if a child is bullied online?

a. If you’re a child, speak to your parent about what’s happening.
b. Parents should remain calm, cool and collected in reviewing the evidence that has appeared online.
c. Discuss with your child where he/she thinks this may be originating.
d. Deal with it reasonably by contacting the parents of the offender or reporting it to the online server or the cyberspace authorities.
e. No one can truly hide out in cyberspace.

11. You’re a bully if you do any of these things to someone else:

a. You call them names.
b. You spread rumors about them.
c. You make up stories to get them into trouble.
d. You take their friends away, leaving them on their own.
e. You tell other people not to be friends with them.
f. You hit them, kick them, trip them up or push them around.
g. You make remarks about their culture, religion or color.
h. You make remarks about their looks or weight.
i. You make remarks about their disability or medical condition.
j. You don’t choose them to be your partner in class.
k. You leave them out when you’re choosing a team for a game.
l. You tell them you’re busy and then go off to enjoy yourself with others.
m. You take away their possessions or demand money from them.
n. You damage their property.
o. You hide their books or bag.
p. You make jokes about them when you can see they’re upset.
q. You send them nasty text messages or make silent calls on their phone.
r. You indulge in horseplay when you know they are not enjoying it.
s. You make threats about nasty things that will happen to them.
t. You’re going along with the crowd who are doing any of these things.
u. You make homophobic remarks about them liking other boys or other girls.

12. What are some questions you can ask a younger child?

a. Who are your child’s friends and what does he/she like about them?
b. Has he/she dropped old friends and got new ones?
c. What does your child think about the bullying victim?
d. What games do they play at school and who decides who can join in?
e. Is your child afraid of anyone else? There is often a ringleader and children go along with him/her because they are afraid they may be the next targets if they don’t.
f. Could your child be upset because of a change in family circumstances, i.e. separation, bereavement, or a new baby?

13. What are some questions you can ask an older child?

a. How he/she feels about the victim and what they don’t like about him/her?
b. Who else is joining in the bullying?
c. Why are they are doing it?
d. Have they thought of the effect bullying is having on the other person?
e. Is he/she joining in because they’re afraid of the consequences if they don’t?
f. How does he/she think the person being bullied must feel?
g. Does he/she realize that attacking someone else is a criminal offense?
h. Does he/she realize that sending abusive e-mails, text or phone messages are a criminal offense?
i. If the bullying complained about were happening to him/her, what would he/she want done about it?

14. Finally, what are some thoughts for parents to consider?

a. Do you encourage your children to stand up for themselves and could their assertiveness be construed as bullying?
b. Do you tell your children to hit back?
c. Are you confrontational?
d. Are you aggressive if another parent complaints to you about bullying?
e. Are you critical of teaching staff in front of your child?
f. Do you give your children space to talk about things that may be upsetting them?
g. Do you try to work with the school on problems?

15. Here are some web sites that you can turn to for further help:

www.stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov
www.stopbullyingspeakup.com
www.glsen.org/bullying
www.adl.org/combatbullying
www.wiredsafety.org
www.youtube.com/user/itgetsbetterproject
www.pacer.org/bullying

Wednesday, Dec 8 10:00 pm E! Investigates: Teen Suicide

Teen suicide has been increasing for the past 30 years - E! Investigates will try to discover what may behind the increase in this tragic trend. Hosted by Laura Ling. For more info: www.eonline.com/on/shows/thsi/index.jsp

Medicine Dance Winter Solstice Project 2010

2010-12-04T14:16:00.000-08:00

Part the Veils.
Reveal the Underlying Meanings of the Season.

Come---Move, Connect and Feast with us

MEDICINE DANCE
presents
Winter Solstice Project 2010

TRANSITION

Movement & Music
Ceremony
Celebration

with
Fred Sugerman, Christo Pellani & the Winter Solstice Project Band

Saturday, December 18th, 2010

@The Church In Ocean Park
235 Hill St.
Santa Monica, CA 90405 (NW corner of 2nd and Hill)
-parking on the street or meters between Main and Ocean just West of the Church-

$25.00
9:30-2:00 pm, potluck following

details provided following reservation
fsugerman@yahoo.com or 818.608.9848

As we Remember who we REALLY are, let us gather in preparation for the longest night of the year; send a clear message to our Selves, each Other and the Earth, that we are willing participants and co-creators of Transition.

How? Music and Movement
Candle Lighting
Feasting (potluck)

Warmly,

Fred Sugerman
Medicine Dance
818.608.9848

Director's Message for November 2010

2010-11-01T11:58:00.000-07:00

November 1, 2010

Greetings Sacred Path Community,

I have frequently heard the words, “this retreat was the best,” following each retreat that we’ve held for the past 23 years. Somehow these words felt different this time, maybe because I witnessed just how extraordinarily profound this event was for so many in attendance. I had remarked during one of my talks that we are not a big operation, but rather we seem to be a “boutique” retreat. We have not endeavored to duplicate our retreat or to take it all over the world. Yet we have something that has endured for over twenty years and holds enough power that it has drawn men back to it again and again, with many men claiming to have attended more than 20 retreats.

The word that resonated for me was “community.” We indeed have become a community of people that have connected in a good way. In fact, the men and the women that support them have found friendship and kinship on a Sacred Path. You can view the pictures and read what many men have said about this retreat. I wish to convey here that the camaraderie and fellowship exuded over the 4 days that we were together on the mountain was rich and overflowing with true support and love.

There were highlights: some of them for me included a heartfelt communication between a father and son; watching one of our disabled men accomplish, with the assistance of his brothers, every task put before him; the candor and depth of the sharing in the community times; how all of the men went full out to stretch beyond their limiting beliefs to create significant breakthroughs; the warmth and sincerity of Grandfather Soldier Bear’s communications in the large group and individually; that which brought the laughter as well as the tears; and, simply, the friendship and brotherhood that was so present.

Comprising the 55 men in attendance, we had those that came from various parts of the country including the east coast. The team of 3 men that facilitated the board-breaking, glass and fire walks came in from Texas. Charles Horton, a fire-walk facilitator, commented that of all of the events that he has led all over the world, “this one was his favorite.” He was blown away by the intensity of the drumming and how all of the men went full out. Another young man offered his services by providing healing bodywork for many of us. The Inipi ceremonies conducted by Andrew and Thomas, including the fire keepers, Vince and Tom, provided a great gift. Scott and the men that assembled and took down the container were selfless in their offering and the container itself continues to develop and go up smoothly under Scott’s creative guidance.

I feel such gratitude to all of the men on the Wisdom Council that held space, and a special thanks to Tom Couper for taking the point on bringing his vision for this retreat to fruition, and to Steve Branker for pulling all of the disparate elements together into a greater sum than its parts. It’s times like this that reinvigorate and lend credence to the overall vision that so many have held for our community. I personally feel that we are called to carry this vision forward as new men find their way onto the Sacred Path. As the dust settles on this retreat and as we turn our attention to the Spring Call to Adventure retreat, it is with a sense of accomplishment that we acknowledge what we have created together. It’s with a sense of awe and wonder that we focus on what will be born out of the ashes of the Phoenix’s descent into the fire and the transformation into what comes next.

There will be a one-day event on February 5, 2011, followed by our Call to Adventure Retreat on April 7-10 (early this year due to Easter and Passover), and then an event with Leonard Orr, the father of Rebirthing, on Friday night, June 3 and Saturday, June 4. Please mark your calendars now; further details will follow.

Charlie Atkinson, Walter’s son, has offered up to $10,000 in matching funds for all donations offered to support the CTA retreat this April. So, please consider making a donation to the Walter Atkinson Scholarship Fund. With $20,000 in our scholarship account we can bring a lot of kids from the inner city to the retreat. Your donation is tax deductible. Checks can be made payable to: Millennium Oaks Institute (our 501c3 not-for-profit corporation) and mailed c/o: MCLA, 21243 Ventura Blvd., Suite 214, Woodland Hills, CA, 91364.

Namaste,
Stephen

PHOENIX RISING IMAGES

2010-11-01T11:42:00.001-07:00

To view the entire photo gallery and upload your own pictures, click HERE

Firewalk, Moonrise, and Spirits Rising

Grant, Matthew and John

Phoenix Rising (Wings Spread)

Tony and Grandfather Soldier Bear

Phoenix Rising (Human Form)