Sunday, June 1, 2008

Director's Message for June 2008

Sunday, June 1, 2008

Greetings,

Yesterday I was reviewing my notes from the Heart of Meditation retreat I attended seven years ago. It was facilitated by a husband and wife that were devotees of the spiritual teacher, Osho (aka Bhagwan Shree Ragneesh). During an evening Darshan we watched a video of one of Osho’s discourses. It commenced with one of his followers speaking to him about her frustration with her process. She said, “Beloved Osho…there is a confusion in me that keeps coming again and again. The message I have gotten from you more and more is to relax with myself, to watch and wait, but I also feel this urgency to wake up now; and then another part screams, ‘BUT HOW?’ What do I need to do? Do I need to push myself through this wall? Could you make this clear to me?”

I was struck by the simple and yet poignant plea of this Chela (devoted student), and it echoes the expressed sense of urgency that I experience from so many in search of personal enlightenment. That is why I was moved to offer the series of Mindfulness Practicums as a follow up to the Colloquiums in which many authentically expressed their concerns about their lives today. I wanted to offer some practices that underlie the Mindfulness concepts that are espoused by enlightened teachers like Osho.

Osho’s response to this woman was clear and concise. He said, “The mind is confusion; it is not that you are in confusion. And there is no way for the mind to be not in confusion. Mind’s whole structure is based on confusion. Mind is duality; it is always split. There is no single point on which the mind agrees in totality. Half of the mind will agree and half of the mind will disagree, and whatever you choose you are choosing only the half. The remaining half is going to take revenge. The unchosen part, the leftover, will wait for its chance to show you that whatever you have chosen is wrong. But it does not matter which part you choose. Choice itself is wrong.”

Osho went on to explain, “So the first thing to be understood is that there is no mind which has ever been without confusion. Have you ever considered that peace of mind has never existed? Peace of mind is intrinsically impossible. Peace happens only when mind is not. It is not peace of mind; it is peace beyond mind.” He offered an illustration, “It is almost like a lotus flower: it grows in mud and water; it is a miracle of nature that out of dirty mud and water it brings out one of the most beautiful flowers in existence. But mud and water are not the lotus flower. The lotus flower blossoms only when the lotus plant has gone beyond the mud, beyond the water, has transcended both – then it opens up to the sun, to the sky, and releases its fragrance to the wind. Although it comes from the mud, it is not mud anymore.”

He went on to say, “The same is true about peace. Mind is muddy; all kinds of relevant and irrelevant thoughts are jumbled there. It is a crowd, with so many fragments fighting with each other that you can call it a battleground. Mind cannot be at peace. But you can go beyond mind because you are not the mind. You can transcend and become a lotus flower. And then there is peace, there is beauty, there is bliss, and all that you have always dreamt about but have had no experience of.”

Osho’s message to this student and to all those that followed his teachings was to relax, watch and wait. He said, “The message remains the same, because that is the only way to transcend the mind. The watcher is always above the mind. The watcher is never part of the mind. The mind is just like a TV screen on which thoughts, dreams, imaginations, projections, desires, and a thousand and one things go on passing. The watcher is not on the screen; he is sitting in the movie hall. But the problem arises when the watcher becomes identified with something on the movie screen.”

In order to not become triggered by what one identifies with it requires the ability to refrain long enough to make a discerning choice about the most appropriate response to the stimulus. In the first Practicum we worked with the practice of Non-Resistance. In the second Practicum we explored the practice of Patience and in our third meeting we surrendered into the practice of Stillness. On July 26th we will work with the practice of Refraining.

Buddhist nun, Pema Chodron, in her book Uncomfortable with Uncertainty offers these words about the Mindfulness practice of Refraining, “Refraining is very much the method of becoming a dharmic person. It’s the quality of not grabbing for entertainment the minute we feel a slight edge of boredom coming on. It’s the practice of not immediately filling up space just because there’s a gap.”

She emphasizes, “Refraining – not habitually acting out impulsively – has something to do with giving up the entertainment mentality. Through refraining, we see that there’s something between the arising of the craving – or the aggression or the loneliness or whatever it might be – and whatever action we take as a result. There’s something there in us that we don’t want to experience, and we never do experience, because we’re so quick to act. The practice of mindfulness and refraining is a way to get in touch with basic groundlessness – by noticing how we try to avoid it.”

On July 26th, we will observe how to use this helpful practice in our relationships and just how we can improve our communication process and intimacy quotient with those with whom we positively engage as well as tend to become entangled with from time-to-time.

I have offered the Colloquiums last year and the Practicum series this year as opportunities for you to meet with your brothers and continue the work in between the semi-annual four-day retreats. Rich, Mitch and I take no money personally from these offerings. All registration fees are left in the account to pay the operating costs of the company, Sacred Path Productions, that makes these events possible.

Now, I have a request of you. I would like to have a minimum of 20 participants for each Practicum and have found that there has been some inconsistency in the numbers of attendees over the past couple of years. In January we had 20 participants, in March we had 17 and in May there were 14. I know that those of you that have attended one or more of these events have gotten a lot out of the experience. You have told me so. I also know that we all have busy schedules and many options to choose from…we can’t do everything that we want to do all the time. But, my request of you is that you consider that by supporting these events you are helping to keep the money in the account to be able to offer future events and you are also furthering your own personal growth. Please consider that even though a Practicum with 14 participants may feel intimate and just the right size, it falls short of bringing in the needed funds to meet the on-going monthly expenses. So you 6 guys that thought of signing up for the Practicum but didn’t, we wish you had; and those of you that haven’t considered the benefit of your participation in these events, please do. It’s just as easy for Rich, Mitch and I to facilitate an event that has 20 participants as 14. The preparation is the same but the outcome is different. Please be mindful of how you can support the ongoing programs by allowing yourself to participate in these events. We create these events with you in mind. Mindfulness gives rise to further mindfulness.

On a final note, the Men's Center would like to help where we can and, in addition to our support of at-risk youth through our Call to Adventure Retreats, we are planning to launch a new program to aid veterans returning from the war zone in Iraq and Aphghanistan. Please read Dan Franklin's article in this newsletter regarding his recent participation in a very powerful conference and some information concerning our intention to give back to our Vets.

Ho,
Stephen

For further information on the July 26 Practicum, click HERE

An Important Message from Dan Franklin MFT, Associate Director/Men's Center of Los Angeles

As Associate Director of The Men’s Center of Los Angeles, and in affiliation with our Sacred Path Retreats and other services, I was asked to attend an event that proved to be profoundly moving and worthy of the attention of all who read our newsletter, attend our events and are interested in being a part of conscious intention to be informed and a part of making this a better world.

I recently attended a three-day conference by The Soldier’s Project called Hidden Wounds Of War. This organization, which was established to provide free, confidential psychological counseling for military service members and their families, is one of a growing number of organizations and groups of citizens who are dedicating their time and resources to aid and comfort our armed forces and their loved ones. We are in a time of protracted conflicts in the world and this outreach is of particular importance in this time in our history. With wars continuing in Iraq and Afghanistan and hot spots throughout the world, our armed forces are serving with ultimate commitments of mind, body and spirit, often literally sacrificing life and limb for reasons that are personal and meaningful to them and their families and in service to our country.

Whatever one’s political or philosophical point of view toward our involvement as a nation in these struggles, these dedicated people are in need of understanding, services and support from the rest of us. As an organization, we take the position of compassionate caring for our fellow human beings who come from our towns and cities, as neighbors, friends or loved ones. As both staff and participants in our services and events, we are individuals with varying points of view toward all manner of life choices, as it should be in a democracy. Whatever our differing views, there are a great number of Americans who are sensitized to the demands of war and the challenges of our returning veterans and their families, all fellow citizens. In truth, there are a great many Americans, who, for their own reasons, are or have become desensitized to the difficult challenges of our servicemen and women and their families, especially upon returning home to a society that is thousands of miles from the battlefronts. Certainly, we all grow tired of war. What we cannot do is be other than tireless in our dedication to our fellow citizens who have sacrificed so much, and on a voluntary basis.

I was stunned by the magnitude of serious issues this population encounters before, during and post-battlefield. The horrors of war were chronicled during the conference in ways that brought tears to our eyes and a determination to help in any way we could. Warfare has never been child’s play, and modern warfare is by no means an exception. New technologies, defense systems and weaponry serve as affective tools for those who use them and killing fields for those who are subjected to them.

The physical and emotional damage to our troops and their families can’t be overstated. Regardless of what set of statistics are used or believed, thousands of our citizens are dying or returning home with everything from minimal to devastating injuries and trauma to mind, body and spirit. Families have been split apart, parents have had to work, raise children and deal with life issues away from their serving spouses, both men and women. It became clear to those of us in attendance that despite efforts by our government agencies, private organizations and dedicated individuals, our military community needs more help than is currently available. We honor The Soldier’s Project for bringing much needed attention to the medical, psychiatric and psychological communities whose purpose for being is to be of service to our fellow human beings and citizens.

A core group of men associated with The Men’s Center and Sacred Path have stepped forward to answer the call in any way we can. Whether it is by bringing veterans to our Sacred Path Retreats in loving support of their needs and to help facilitate their re-entry into mainstream society, to show them a hell of a good time or by simply co-mingling with those of us in the civilian population or through our counseling services with licensed psychotherapists, we want to help. If you know of a way to help or have ideas we haven’t yet thought about or might not occur to us, please contact us. While our services and contribution are intended to be pro bono, we welcome body, soul and financial support for this developing project.

Our initial group of interested lay and clinical advocates will be meeting to discuss and develop an approach that can make a contribution to this much-deserving population among us. We know it will be challenging. We know we all need further training and skill sets. Our hope is that by bringing our high intention to the attention of all of you who will read this and/or are interested in the work we do together, the core group will grow in size, strength and determination. As we are one world, we are one nation, one community, one individual after another who cares and wants to be a part of something decent and honorable. I believe anyone reading this is drawn to our organization, our web-site or our events because they are curious at least, and committed at most, to raising consciousness on the planet and being a part of the solution rather than the problems in our world. That’s why The Men’s Center and Sacred Path exist. This is our next challenge.

We welcome your thoughts, your reflections, your feedback, your knowledge, and your participation in helping us help ourselves and help others. This holds true not only for our fellow Californians, but any of you interested from other parts of the country as servicemen and women or civilians. This is a worthy and much needed cause. As the Marines would tell us, a few good men and women go a long way. The more of us who join the civilian ranks and serve our world, our country and our community, the greater the results and rewards not just for our military families but for ourselves. This is a different kind of call to arms. It is a call to arms that embraces us all as one nation, caring for each other, all in service, one way or another.

Comments on the May 17th Practicum

Thanks so much for the enlightenment and the crash course you provided. In my present situation, I really needed it. I guess I was at the right session to learn about aloneness and the importance of stillness in everyday life. Sometimes we forget about the basics of living, and the Practicum was a wonderful way to bring everything back into balance.

Looking forward to the July session!

Be well,
- Jamshid Daneshgar


Although it happens infrequently and then all too briefly, I can occasionally put myself fully into the present and become completely engaged in what I am doing. That is, I can be mindful. I have practiced meditation for several years, albeit with limited success, but the constant demands of my four kids make finding a quiet moment and restful place nearly impossible. So it became clear that I needed a more practical way to connect with my inner self. Stephen's mindfulness Practicums have helped me learn how to develop this vital ability: a practice that has literally given me back my life, a life aside from my past, and aside from my "story." These Practicums have helped me connect with a much more powerful source of peace than I believed possible. Just as importantly, they have given me a chance to learn these skills in the company of truly inspiring men. I have attended every Practicum and always leave with much more than I bring.

- Eric, single father of four


For me, two elements have come clearly into focus since beginning the Practicums. First of all, I am learning practical methods of bringing myself into a peaceful place from a place of anxiety, anger, and alienation; and once I’m there, to keep myself there without backsliding. Second, the progression of the Practicums allows me to digest the material of one before building on it to get to the next stage. Non-resistance learned in the first session led to the acquisition of patience in the second, which took me to living in stillness in the third. This is the first time I can remember having a practice to bring down my hostility at other drivers who cut me off, blow through stop signs in front of me, and, well, I’m sure you all have experienced that anger. I can now deal with it; not all the time, but I'm getting better. Way to go, Stephen!

- Rich Manners

For further information on the upcoming July 26 Practicum, click HERE

Matt O'Connor's Diving With Sharks!




Many of you know Matt O'Connor from the Sacred Path Retreats and Practicums. But - did you know that his work entails being a safety diver/cameraman for films shooting underwater? Here are some shots of Matt at work with a few finny and toothy friends!

Nick Rath's Book, The Job of Parenting, Now At EBAY!

Nick Rath's Book - - "The Job of Parenting"
is now on EBAY!!

Anyone can now get a copy by going to www.ebay.com and searching for 
Nick Rath or The Job of Parenting

A great gift for Mother's Day!
or
Father's Day!
or
Any Day!

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Director's Message for May 2008

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Greetings,

The 21st Annual Spring Sacred Path Men’s Retreat combined with the 8th Annual Call to Adventure Retreat for fathers and sons, boys and mentors was quite fulfilling. We had a number of young men from age 12 upward with us. Some attended with their fathers and others participated with their mentors. Three came from Pacific Lodge Boys Home and 5 came from C.U.R.E. (Common Unity Reaching Everyone) with their mentor, Cameron Bonner. This was the third year in a row that we have been able to provide scholarships for young men from South Central Los Angeles and we’re pleased to be able to create a relationship with Pacific Lodge. It’s auspicious for me since my father was a major fund-raiser for Pacific Lodge during the 60’s and 70’s. In fact, their practice field is named after my father. One of the counselors presented me with a picture of the plaque that reads, “Johnson Field.”

The weather throughout the 4 days was outstanding and did not present any additional challenges like the 120-mile winds that were experienced during the fall retreat. I wish to acknowledge Philip Folsom and his team from Fulcrum Adventures who manned the ropes course. They were well prepared to lead us through the low elements team building trust exercises and the 5 high elements. One of their men, Ryan, facilitated an impromptu Kung Fu staff session following the ropes course and one of the C.U.R.E. young men, Artwan, picked up the most challenging routine as though he had been practicing for years. Andrew Soliz poured water for us once again during 3 sweat lodges. Justin Atanasio conducted drum-making workshops and the men of the Sacred Path Wisdom Council served as Tribe Leaders and facilitated break out sessions offering a variety of programs. We had 48 in attendance, including staff. Though the enrollments were down some, perhaps as a result of the tight economy and individual’s concerns regarding where their dollars are spent these day, the quality of the participants was stellar.

Special thanks are offered once again to Ken Valach for his generous contribution of $10,000 last year to our Walter Atkinson Memorial Scholarship Program that funds our youth oriented programs. I also wish to express gratitude to Phillip Jennings, Alan Hinds, Charlie Lagola and Tom Couper for their donations to our scholarship fund this year. As a result of the selfless giving of these men we were able to provide over $6,500 in scholarships for this past retreat. We welcome the gifts that are lovingly offered by our supporters. If you’d like to make a donation please let us know and we’ll provide a letter of acknowledgement that may be referenced in reporting your tax-deductible gift.

USC coach Pete Carroll has visited Helen Keller Park on two separate occasions and is aware of our support of C.U.R.E. and wants to assist our combined efforts to make a positive difference in the lives of these young men. It appears that I’ll be meeting with him one day soon and of course I’m looking forward to that with tremendous enthusiasm.
Coach Carroll is one of the men I hold in high regard not only for what he has done for the SC football program including his mentorship mentality in the way he shepherds the players but also for his dedication to making an impact in the extended community surrounding the campus. You might have seen the article that Kurt Streeter wrote about Pete for the sports section of the LA Times (“Carroll is a life force at street level”, Sunday, April 20, 2008).

Please note that the dates of the fall Sacred Path Men’s Retreat are Thursday, October 23 thru Sunday, October 26, 2008. I had announced at the retreat that I thought the dates were set for the 16th thru the 19th but when I checked with John Bard he confirmed that we’re in on the 4th weekend. Please mark your calendars now.

One of our Wisdom Council men, Jay Berger, contacted me several weeks ago regarding his vision that the Men’s Center would offer support to returning veterans who have served in Iraq and Afghanistan. Many of them are experiencing serious reentry challenges as well as the post-traumatic symptoms incurred from their experiences on the front lines. Their relationships are suffering and their family members are under severe duress. We have been in contact with Dr. Judith Broder who founded The Soldier’s Project to create a relationship and to offer our services. It’s our desire to have a number of vets at the October retreat and to provide additional support through our counseling program and workshops. We wish to expand the funds in the Conrad Burke Memorial Scholarship Fund to provide the financial viability for these men to take advantage of our resources. If you wish to give, you may designate where you specifically wish your donation to be utilized.

On Saturday, May 17th I will facilitate the 3rd in a series of Practicums on Mindfulness. This next event will focus on the practice of Stillness. We will again convene from 8:30 am until 4:30 pm at Holy Spirit Retreat Center in Encino. We’ll spend quiet time by the lake, experience a walking form of meditation, perform conscious breathing sessions, partake in a tasty lunch and sit in council as we explore how the Mindfulness practices are bringing more balance, peaceful serenity and lightness of being into our busy lives.
The enrollment is still open and there are some slots available as of this date. I hope you’ll consider joining us for the day. Further information and a registration form are provided in this newsletter.

Wishing you days filled with blessings and opportunities for gratitude. Thank you for investing the time to peruse this newsletter.

In the spirit of brotherhood,
Stephen

A Letter from Cameron Bonner

Dear Friends and Supporters,

I write this e-mail with sadness due to the passing of my aunt and also Gary's younger brother. As we mourn as a family, I still must stay focused. I was torn with going to the men's retreat last week because I was supposed to be at the funeral Friday. Gary made me keep our commitment to the men's center, so I took 5 young boys up to Malibu for a retreat that has made a difference in so many peoples’ lives.

I must thank Dr. Stephen Johnson and the brothers from the Sacred Path retreat for again blessing my community by paying the entire fee needed to allow 6 people to attend the retreat.

For the third year going I was able to share such a special event with some needy children. When I selected the kids I let each parent know how serious this event is. I made no promises, but deep in my heart I knew if we just got them there we would be able to plant hope in them.

Well, I'm happy to announce that this retreat was a success.

I saw 4 out of 5 boys make a change. I saw hardened youths learn to trust. I saw angry kids accept love from men of different races.

It wasn't all roses the entire weekend. In fact, we had a serious blow-up before Andrew's sweat lodge, after Strong Bear and Andrew and the council convinced me to do the sweat. During the second stage of the sweat it hit me.

I started feeling joy.

What became clear to me was that these kids weren't mad at me. These kids were angry at what I represent. I'm what has hurt them the most. I'm a Black male who like their fathers, or even the men who dated their mothers, leave them. Almost every black man they love leaves them, so what makes me different?

They did all they could to run me away so I would prove them right, but no, I'm not going anywhere. It became so clear that the rest of the retreat was a joy because the boys became a team. The cabin was so peaceful at night I slept like a baby.

This breakthrough saved me from giving up. So for this I say thank you, brothers on the mountain, for hosting a powerful gathering. My pledge now is to find as many men who can join us next year. This program is a must. We must find solutions for our troubled sons. So on behalf of the C.U.R.E. family I wish to say thank you so much for giving us a chance to heal.

We plan to host a follow-up event on a latter date where the members of the retreat can join the kids and their families at Helen Keller park to celebrate our youths’ passage into manhood. Rites of Passage are important, and now our kids have a true image of what a Man looks and acts like.

Bless you all,
Cameron Bonner

P.S.
I was away Thursday and didn't get a chance to see the newspaper story done on us until Monday. The Watts Times did a story on C.U.R.E., and I wish to share it with you now. Please go to this link to see the entire story. Here's the link.
http://www.lawattstimes.com/articles/2008/04/10/community/community1.txt

Thank you Brooklyn Gipson for coming to see what is being done and sharing what you saw with your readers.
Here's a piece of the story:
“I’m not looking for the next Reggie Bush or the next Jordan. I’m looking for a Tom Bradley or an Yvonne Burke. We’re trying to teach these kids how to be leaders,” Robinson said as Roberto, a young Latino boy, runs up from across the field. Exasperated and out of breath, Roberto explains to Coach Robinson, “I was studying.” As is a common tactic for athletic coaches, Robinson punishes the boy for being late by assigning 10 push-ups. Upon completion Robinson calls out “Hard work!” to which the young boy responds “Pays off!” before running off to join the other children.

Thank You all for helping us do our works. Together we're making a difference in children's lives. Thank you for helping Gary's football dream team.

Thank you God for everything.

Much Love and Respect
Cameron Bonner VP of C.U.R.E.