June 29, 2008
Greetings,
The Namaste Heart
A number of years ago, I’m not actually sure how many at this point, we introduced the formal Hindu greeting/salutation into our community of “Namaste”…the light or Divine in me sees the light or Divine in you. It has become a familiar and comfortable way for us to acknowledge each other through the recognition that we are traversing a mutual spiritual path. These days, nearly everyone seems to know what namaste means but how many people really live, breathe, practice and become namaste? This was the question posed by author Aman Motwane in his article “Becoming Namaste” in the June issue of Science of Mind: A Guide For Spiritual Living.
Motwane had been struggling with his relationships, both personal and professional and was pondering how to honor the Divine within someone whom you just don’t like, or within someone who has been unkind to you. He, like most of us, had read books and attended workshops promising inner peace, lasting relationships, deeper spirituality and unmitigated success.
One day, desperate, he picked up the phone and called his father in Mumbai, India and asked, “What am I doing wrong?” His father’s response was, “I’m glad you’ve started a journey toward growth and understanding. But the journey you have chosen is an intellectual one. It’s about learning what to do and what to think. It’s about rules and laws and techniques and processes. It’s taking you into your head, away from your heart.”
Motwane’s father’s comments hooked my attention and as I read further into the article I realized that the wisdom of his father deepened my own understanding of what true namaste was about and it also posed a challenge within me to determine to what degree I have been living an authentic namaste life, less from the head and more from the heart.
Lovingly, his father continued, “Son, relationships and spirituality are not ascensions of the mind. They are ascensions of the soul.” What followed between Aman and his father was a conversation that the son will never forget and one that expanded my awareness as well. In helping his son to understand the distinction that he was making, the father asked him to consider two people and went on to describe the difference with which he was referring:
He asked Aman to imagine himself at an oasis in the midst of a vast desert. A traveler approaches the oasis and if Aman were the first person he would lovingly ask the traveler how he could be of service to him. The father went on, “Staggering toward you, the traveler would mumble, ‘Water.’ You would bring him a glass of water and wish him a safe journey as he continued on his way. As you watched the traveler disappear into the distance, you’d be glad you had been kind and generous to a complete stranger.”
He continued, “If you were like the second person, you would see immediately that any traveler trudging through the vast desert would be thirsty, hot and tired. Without even asking, you would welcome him with a refreshing cool glass of water, offer him a place to rest his tired feet and invite him to take a few moments to wash his hands and face and freshen up. As the traveler bade you farewell, you would have felt happy for the opportunity to take care of a fellow human, not at all aware that you had gone beyond what most would consider basic ‘decent’ behavior.”
A light went on in Aman’s head and he couldn’t contain himself any longer and blurted, “It sounds like, when you become namaste, you become more alert, more aware, more observant of others. You understand them in a new way and you see and notice things you didn’t before.” It’s apparent that Aman’s epiphany allowed him to see that practicing namaste in the way that his father had explained is another facet of the Mindfulness diamond.
The father added, “You see the world in a totally different way. You see people at their essence. You understand what they are experiencing and wanting and needing, without having to ask them. You notice the small but important details that others skim over. Your experience of the world around you changes.” Aman realized that the truth about others is right before us to see, hidden in plain sight; but most of us don’t see it.
Two of my mentors, Leo Buscaglia and Gary Fisher, have commented when they have met particular individuals, “Oh you have eyes that see!” Years ago when I first heard that greeting I didn’t quite understand what was meant by it and then I began to understand.
Aman’s father sighed. “Unfortunately, practically all our avenues of learning today – our schools, colleges, self-help books, professional courses – don’t teach us how to see. They teach us what to do and what to think. We get so focused on doing and thinking that we don’t see the Divine that is right before us. The end result is these techniques and rules and processes actually get in the way of our becoming namaste. The tools we think will help us are actually the very things that block our vision.”
That’s when Aman truly heard his father’s message. “Namaste is not something you do or even think about. It is something you see and experience – not with you head, but with your heart.” But he had more questions of his father, “There’s one thing that’s confusing me. You keep talking about namaste and oneness and compassion in the same breath. But aren’t they different?”
Without missing a beat, his father responded, “They’re different and yet they’re the same. When you become namaste, everything else follows. You inevitably become love and compassion… You become one with the Divine, one with all people, one with all creation, one with all of life…Namaste is the seat of everything else and there’s nothing to do, nothing to think. In fact, the more you think about it, the less you attain it…”
The lesson that Aman’s father was presenting for his son is one that we all can benefit from. He started him on a completely different type of journey. I have found myself thinking of the distinction that his father made and holding it up like a template over my own behavior and actions to determine if I’m being namaste in the moment. This is a journey toward becoming and being rather than thinking and doing. This journey can be unsettling, because there are no signposts, no rules, no laws but it’s also a journey in which you can change your own personal world – and just possibly even change the world around you just as Gandhi admonished us to ‘become the change we want to see in the world.’
Becoming namaste,
Stephen
When I was 12, he challenged my brother to a fist fight. He routinely shouted at us in front of our friends.
hardened carnies. In middle age, his sales job was crushing. He was a brilliant man with a Grade 8 education, reduced to knocking on doors and imploring merchants to buy advertising promotions like imprinted pens and squeeze coin purses. But Dad's biggest problem was that he never got in touch with his own pain, never learned how to process his feelings. Like many men, he believed the lie that "Big boys don't cry," so he refused to seek out friends and instead turned his pain into anger. The anger kept shameful sorrow at bay. Swigging vodka straight from the bottle, he forced us to cry his tears. This was the Dad I hated.