I’ve just returned from spending a week in Northern Utah. I decided to write a bit about my time away, not so much to provide a travel log of my trip, but to share some insights that I had along the way. My wife and I hadn’t been away alone for an extended stay in 5 years. Due to health issues confronting family members, we postponed an invitation to visit friends in Paris this summer and had decided that we probably would not be able to get away even locally either. However, as conditions began to clear we realized that we really needed some time away, and when clients of mine returned from their vacation to Sundance, Utah, and spoke so glowingly about their trip I decided to explore that possibility.
Our exploration turned up some viable options. We booked ourselves into a little stone cottage within walking distance of the Sundance Resort. As it turned out when we arrived, we discovered that the owners of the cottage and the surrounding acreage were “Stewarts”. Brad Stewart’s great, great grandfather had developed thousands of acres in Utah in the 1800’s. Brad’s father, Paul, had sold 5,000 acres to Robert Redford in 1968 to develop Sundance. I told Brad that I am a Stewart on my mother’s side and that my great, great grandfather had developed Wabash, Indiana. We agreed that the Stewarts were truly developers. Later in the week we returned to Park City to have lunch with Richard Bizzaro and to visit a center where we could look up our genealogy.
The first full day of our trip, my wife and I got to visit my cousin and her husband at their extraordinary vacation condo at Stagg Lodge in Park City and to play golf with them at Glenwild Country Club, renown for its course. We rested the next day, and then the following day hired a fly-fishing guide and tried our luck on the Provo River. Fran landed a 15-inch rainbow trout before releasing it, and believe it or not, my 18-20 inch Brown trout leapt into the air just to give me a look before the fly came out of its mouth. Just being on the river in and of itself was rewarding.
On one of the days we took the chairlift up the mountain and then hiked along a trail to get a view of Stewart Falls. As we came around a steep incline we spotted a man with very dark, long hair sitting with his back to us on a camp chair along the ridge to our right. He was meditating. Many of the people hiking along the path passed without his turning to acknowledge them, but suddenly he turned and waved to us and signaled for us to climb out to where he was sitting with a perfect view of the falls in the distance. He cautioned us to take little steps so as to not lose our footing. Little steps, he repeated at least a few times, like a mantra.
When we got close I could see that he had a stack of books about Jesus sitting next to his chair as well as a big hunting knife, an interesting contrast that my wife found a little disconcerting at first. He smiled largely and welcomed us, indicating that he has come there for the past few days to sit, reflect and just get closer to “The Lord.” He was a man of East Indian ethnicity. His face resembled the pictures I had seen of Babaji, the Yogi Christ of India. He said simply that “it’s all about love and forgiveness.” He was a warm, gentle man radiating serenity and love. With our camera he took a picture of us with the falls in the background and then I snapped a picture of him. I felt like we could have spent much more time with him, but after a brief while we continued on our hike. As we parted he once again reminded us to take little steps.
When we returned along the path behind where he was sitting, there he was, deep in meditative prayer. Somehow this chance meeting captured the essence of our trip. I reflected on his admonition to take little steps and how he glowed when he expressed that it’s so simple; it’s just about being loving and forgiving. He said he lived in Richfield, 4 miles outside Las Vegas on the way to Utah, and invited us to look him up if we were passing through there at some point. If our paths never cross again, I will carry the memory of this brief encounter which will mindfully encourage me to take little steps along the path that leads to a more loving and forgiving destination.
We stayed in the next morning to watch the funeral of Ted Kennedy. We had observed some of the preceding coverage following his passing when we were not traversing through the natural surroundings of the great Utah outdoors. I had admired Ted Kennedy for the most part, but there were times that my feelings for him ebbed during some of the turbulent periods of his challenged life.
I always knew that he was a man who endured terrible tragedies as well as surmounted the unimaginable suffering through great triumphs. He was in many ways bigger than life itself. He was a renaissance man who rose to become a talented sailor, painter and raconteur. He was touted as the “Lion of the Senate” and praised for being a steadfast patriarch to his family.
Today I was awestruck by the testimonials and eulogies that paid homage to such a remarkable man. Over the years Ted publicly apologized for the recklessness of his flawed life, and what was truly inspiring was the way he sustained against all odds, continuing to reshape his life, motivated by the ardent desire to learn from his shortcomings and become a better man.
Tears flowed as Ted’s oldest son shared during his eulogy how, following the amputation of one of his legs due to bone cancer, his father helped him up a snowy hill so that they could sled down together. Ted was robust and loved to play and had quite a competitive nature. I laughed out loud when Ted Jr. said that they always returned from family vacations “injured and exhausted.”
And through it all Teddy will be remembered for being a loving man, a genuine humanitarian, mentor and champion of the people. It’s men like this that stir my emotions and compel me to understand more about the courage and perseverance to stay the course and make a positive difference in your personal life and in the world. I look forward to reading his biography.
I’m glad to have taken this time away with my wife as we celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary and 33 years together. Being married to the same person for over 30 years isn’t easy - just ask my wife - but it is rewarding. Like Ted Kennedy’s life, our relationship has been fraught with ups and downs, pitfalls and achievements. But over time the shortcomings tend to be forgiven and calibrated as challenging learning experiences while the love grows deeper with passing years and we recognize that what is truly important rises to the top. If you want to get to know who you really are, put yourself in a committed relationship, pay attention and remember to take little steps along the way.
A few announcements:
Thus far we have at least six couples registering for the couples’ practicum at Holy Spirit Retreat Center on Saturday, September 26th. It would be great to have four more couples sign up to participate in this event. Upon reflection I am also open to selectively adding men and women in equal numbers to fill the remaining slots. So if you’d like to share in this experience of how Mindfulness practices can rekindle, strengthen and support relationships then this practicum is for you. For each participant I will gift an article that I had written but have not as yet published, titled: Rekindling a Loving Relationship: Is the Love Lost or just Misplaced?
I am honored to be one of the presenters at the Mindfulness and Group Psychotherapy Conference in Santa Monica on Sunday, October 4, 2009. I will be in the company of some gifted presenters offering current and profound insights and experiential opportunities to incorporate the practices of Mindfulness into your life. This event is open to the public and will sell out quickly. If you’re interested in attending, register soon.
Our 23rd Annual Fall Sacred Path Men’s Retreat on the theme, Man Up! What it Takes to be a Good Man Today with a focus on Men, Mentors and Mindfulness, is coming up on Thursday, October 22 through Sunday, October 25th. Please spread the word to those in your circle that you feel could benefit from being in the company of men on the path to improving their lives, raising their consciousness and making a positive difference in the world.
Further information and registration forms for all three events can be found on our blog and on the web site.
Namaste,
Stephen
To download the flyer/application for the September 26 Couples' Practicum, click HERE
To download the flyer for the Fall '09 Men's Retreat, click HERE
To download the application for the Fall '09 Men's Retreat, click HERE
