Click HERE to download the PHOENIX RISING Fall 2010 Sacred Path Retreat Flyer
Click HERE to download the PHOENIX RISING Fall 2010 Sacred Path Retreat Application
Click HERE to read Dr. Johnson's message on the PHOENIX RISING Retreat
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Friday, October 1, 2010
Director's Message for October 2010
October 1, 2010
Greetings Sacred Path Community,
I’m enthused by the response that we’re receiving thus far for the Phoenix Rising Fall Sacred Path Men’s Retreat. Men are obviously excited by the prospects of being able to learn how to engage the phenomenon of mind-over-matter, empowering them to safely perform a FIREWALK. The team that we’re bringing in from Houston, Texas will present a seminar on Saturday, featuring information and processes designed to teach the principles allowing men to accomplish feats that expand beyond the ordinary into the realm of the extraordinary. The real purpose of all of this is to create breakthrough experiences demonstrating one’s capacity for transmitting the accomplishments into other practical fields of endeavor.
In addition to this part of the retreat, we will facilitate all of the other elements of the retreat that men have resonated with throughout the 23 years that we’ve been hosting the Sacred Path events. We’ll have a full Wisdom Council staff on board, with men flying in from all parts of the country to serve as Tribe Leaders and support personnel. And we’re blessed once again to invite Andrew Soliz to pour water for our Inipi (Sweatlodge) Ceremony.
Also, some of the men have asked if they could bring their sons, nephews or other young men to the retreat, and we are open to that possibility and will deal with each potential enrollment individually. Steve Branker will meet with the prospective younger men to make sure that this would be a good experience for them and that they could integrate well into the men’s community for this retreat.
If you haven’t registered yet for this retreat, I want to request that you send in your registration form now so that we can count you in for what will surely be a memorable experience. If you’ve been contemplating whether you can attend, or are perhaps experiencing resistance to participating, I encourage you to take the leap of faith and join your brothers on the mountain this month. We’re available and happy to speak with you personally to answer questions and discuss any of your considerations. We will convene in the late afternoon on Thursday, October 21st and adjourn at 3pm on Sunday the 24th. Please don’t let this opportunity come and go without you being one the reasons it was a success.
I wish to thank Dr. Bruce Derman, Dan Franklin, Catherine DeMonte, Gina Cloud and Andrea Fisher, our guest presenters during our day for men and women last Saturday at Holy Spirit Retreat Center. You can read a review of the event in this newsletter.
I’m welcoming Michael Lynch into my practice as an intern in training. Michael brings a rich variety of experience and will be seeing clients at a reduced fee primarily out of my Beverly Hills office. He is available to see clients in the Woodland Hills office as well. Please read the information about Michael in this newsletter and consider whom you might refer to him.
I’m looking forward to reconnecting with my brothers and making new friends at the upcoming retreat. See you on the mountain.
In the spirit of brotherhood,
Stephen
P.S.: Here are some words of praise from a woman who sees what our retreats can do for her man: "Wow, you guys rock! All of you have so much to contribute to each other and I can not even imagine the powerful miracles happening before, during and after your upcoming retreat!
I am deeply moved and grateful to know that all of your contributions to the retreat group are contributions to each individual, family and our world. I send my love and peace to all of you with emphasis on The Retreat as a whole for the most powerful miracles ever!"
Click HERE to download the Fall 2010 Sacred Path Retreat Flyer
Click HERE to download the Fall 2010 Sacred Path Retreat Application
Greetings Sacred Path Community,
I’m enthused by the response that we’re receiving thus far for the Phoenix Rising Fall Sacred Path Men’s Retreat. Men are obviously excited by the prospects of being able to learn how to engage the phenomenon of mind-over-matter, empowering them to safely perform a FIREWALK. The team that we’re bringing in from Houston, Texas will present a seminar on Saturday, featuring information and processes designed to teach the principles allowing men to accomplish feats that expand beyond the ordinary into the realm of the extraordinary. The real purpose of all of this is to create breakthrough experiences demonstrating one’s capacity for transmitting the accomplishments into other practical fields of endeavor.
In addition to this part of the retreat, we will facilitate all of the other elements of the retreat that men have resonated with throughout the 23 years that we’ve been hosting the Sacred Path events. We’ll have a full Wisdom Council staff on board, with men flying in from all parts of the country to serve as Tribe Leaders and support personnel. And we’re blessed once again to invite Andrew Soliz to pour water for our Inipi (Sweatlodge) Ceremony.
Also, some of the men have asked if they could bring their sons, nephews or other young men to the retreat, and we are open to that possibility and will deal with each potential enrollment individually. Steve Branker will meet with the prospective younger men to make sure that this would be a good experience for them and that they could integrate well into the men’s community for this retreat.
If you haven’t registered yet for this retreat, I want to request that you send in your registration form now so that we can count you in for what will surely be a memorable experience. If you’ve been contemplating whether you can attend, or are perhaps experiencing resistance to participating, I encourage you to take the leap of faith and join your brothers on the mountain this month. We’re available and happy to speak with you personally to answer questions and discuss any of your considerations. We will convene in the late afternoon on Thursday, October 21st and adjourn at 3pm on Sunday the 24th. Please don’t let this opportunity come and go without you being one the reasons it was a success.
I wish to thank Dr. Bruce Derman, Dan Franklin, Catherine DeMonte, Gina Cloud and Andrea Fisher, our guest presenters during our day for men and women last Saturday at Holy Spirit Retreat Center. You can read a review of the event in this newsletter.
I’m welcoming Michael Lynch into my practice as an intern in training. Michael brings a rich variety of experience and will be seeing clients at a reduced fee primarily out of my Beverly Hills office. He is available to see clients in the Woodland Hills office as well. Please read the information about Michael in this newsletter and consider whom you might refer to him.
I’m looking forward to reconnecting with my brothers and making new friends at the upcoming retreat. See you on the mountain.
In the spirit of brotherhood,
Stephen
P.S.: Here are some words of praise from a woman who sees what our retreats can do for her man: "Wow, you guys rock! All of you have so much to contribute to each other and I can not even imagine the powerful miracles happening before, during and after your upcoming retreat!
I am deeply moved and grateful to know that all of your contributions to the retreat group are contributions to each individual, family and our world. I send my love and peace to all of you with emphasis on The Retreat as a whole for the most powerful miracles ever!"
Click HERE to download the Fall 2010 Sacred Path Retreat Flyer
Click HERE to download the Fall 2010 Sacred Path Retreat Application
Introducing Michael Lynch, M.A.
Michael Lynch, M.A. (Registered MFT intern #61045) is pleased to announce he will now be providing therapy services in the Beverly Hills area under the supervision of Stephen J. Johnson, Ph.D., MFT. “I look forward to learning and growing as a therapist under the mentorship of Dr. Johnson and collaborating with the teams from both of his organizations: The Center for Holistic Psychology and The Men's Center of Los Angeles.”
Michael received his Masters degree from Antioch University in 2009 and did his traineeship and many of his internship hours serving the San Fernando Valley’s low-income community at the non-profit Center for Individual and Family Counseling in North Hollywood.
Michael works with individuals, couples, and families of all ages, races, genders, and sexualities. While viewing existential psychotherapy as the base for his work, Michael pulls from all modalities and leaves no road to healing unexplored.
When appropriate Michael also integrates his background as a comedy writer in the entertainment industry – including late night television, sitcoms, morning radio, new media and a book due this fall – into his therapy work. He believes that therapy need not be a grim process and that when we can laugh at our problems they no longer have power over us.
More information can be found on his web site – www.michaellynchtherapy.com
Michael received his Masters degree from Antioch University in 2009 and did his traineeship and many of his internship hours serving the San Fernando Valley’s low-income community at the non-profit Center for Individual and Family Counseling in North Hollywood.
Michael works with individuals, couples, and families of all ages, races, genders, and sexualities. While viewing existential psychotherapy as the base for his work, Michael pulls from all modalities and leaves no road to healing unexplored.
When appropriate Michael also integrates his background as a comedy writer in the entertainment industry – including late night television, sitcoms, morning radio, new media and a book due this fall – into his therapy work. He believes that therapy need not be a grim process and that when we can laugh at our problems they no longer have power over us.
More information can be found on his web site – www.michaellynchtherapy.com
Rich Manners: Review of September 25 "Day for Men and Women"
The Day for Men and Women held on September 25th was an overflowing cornucopia of information dealing with both relationships between couples and with one’s relationship to oneself. The six presenters – Dr. Stephen Johnson, Andrea Fisher, Catherine DeMonte, Dan Franklin, Dr. Bruce Derman and Gina Cloud, had so much knowledge and good counsel to share that we had a problem keeping to the time limits.
Dr. Johnson spoke on the importance of mindfulness in relationships between men and women as well as that of staying in the now, not wasting time either on rehashing past problems or being apprehensive about future difficulties.
Andrea Fisher used her own fascinating life story to illustrate how her own psychotherapy and a fierce determination to find her own path to joy and contentment could be a model for anyone wishing to attain balance and self-realization.
Catherine DeMonte stressed the need for balance in one's life and relationships using the metaphor of a table with 4 legs representing the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual parts of one's being, and that if we fall short in any one or more areas, the legs will not be even and the table - and the relationship - will be out of balance.
Dan Franklin’s presentation centered around the deconstruction of false beliefs (such as, “I must always be perfect”) that each of us carry with us, keeping us from living in the present and robbing us of energy that we could be using for positive action. These beliefs need not be replaced with other beliefs, but instead can be eliminated entirely, leaving us open to live 100% of the time.
Dr. Derman spoke on the subject of his new book, The Hole, in which he describes the one thing that all of us fear: emptiness. He declared that in order to attain true peace of mind and happiness, each of us must not ignore the hole or emptiness inside us and in our relationships with each other, but get to know and befriend it.
Gina Cloud introduced us to material from her new book, W.O.M.A.N. She related how women in today’s American culture have abandoned the roles that nature intended for them, such as receptivity, softness, nurturing, yielding, and tranquility, balancing the heat, solidity, and aggressiveness of men’s yang with their yin. They have also minimized the spiritual importance of their cyclical nature and have adopted the linear nature of men.
Some of the participants evinced a desire for more processes, sacred breathing and talking-stick work that are usually offered at our practicums. Still others mentioned that even though they would have liked to hear more personal information from the participants, they did walk away with a lot of valuable instruction and enjoyed connecting with others. Although the workshop received mixed reviews, many of us felt that it was a worthy experiment that garnered much needed information for us all.
Dr. Johnson spoke on the importance of mindfulness in relationships between men and women as well as that of staying in the now, not wasting time either on rehashing past problems or being apprehensive about future difficulties.
Andrea Fisher used her own fascinating life story to illustrate how her own psychotherapy and a fierce determination to find her own path to joy and contentment could be a model for anyone wishing to attain balance and self-realization.
Catherine DeMonte stressed the need for balance in one's life and relationships using the metaphor of a table with 4 legs representing the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual parts of one's being, and that if we fall short in any one or more areas, the legs will not be even and the table - and the relationship - will be out of balance.
Dan Franklin’s presentation centered around the deconstruction of false beliefs (such as, “I must always be perfect”) that each of us carry with us, keeping us from living in the present and robbing us of energy that we could be using for positive action. These beliefs need not be replaced with other beliefs, but instead can be eliminated entirely, leaving us open to live 100% of the time.
Dr. Derman spoke on the subject of his new book, The Hole, in which he describes the one thing that all of us fear: emptiness. He declared that in order to attain true peace of mind and happiness, each of us must not ignore the hole or emptiness inside us and in our relationships with each other, but get to know and befriend it.
Gina Cloud introduced us to material from her new book, W.O.M.A.N. She related how women in today’s American culture have abandoned the roles that nature intended for them, such as receptivity, softness, nurturing, yielding, and tranquility, balancing the heat, solidity, and aggressiveness of men’s yang with their yin. They have also minimized the spiritual importance of their cyclical nature and have adopted the linear nature of men.
Some of the participants evinced a desire for more processes, sacred breathing and talking-stick work that are usually offered at our practicums. Still others mentioned that even though they would have liked to hear more personal information from the participants, they did walk away with a lot of valuable instruction and enjoyed connecting with others. Although the workshop received mixed reviews, many of us felt that it was a worthy experiment that garnered much needed information for us all.
Excerpted from Jed Diamond's newsletter: www.menalive.com
Today the diagnosis of prostate cancer typically begins with an abnormal prostate-specific antigen (PSA) test or perhaps a worrisome finding on a digital rectal exam (DRE). If either the PSA test or DRE suggests cancer, transrectal ultrasound or a prostate biopsy will be performed.
But researchers continue to look for a more accurate way to screen for prostate cancer by testing potential biomarkers to supplement the use of PSA. For example, a biomarker called early prostate cancer antigen-2 (EPCA-2), identified by Johns Hopkins researchers, shows promise but confirmatory studies are needed.
Now, an experimental test that measures levels of a protein in the urine called ANXA3 could help make screening for prostate cancer more accurate. ANXA3 plays a role in cell differentiation and migration.
The study, which comes from Germany and Austria and was published in The Journal of Urology (volume 181, page 343), included 591 men who were being screened for prostate cancer using digital rectal examination and PSA testing. A total of 368 had prostate cancer, and 223 did not.
The researchers found that among the 244 men with PSA levels between 2 and 6 ng/mL, ANXA3 testing missed prostate cancer half the time but had just a 13% rate of false positives. Among the 280 men with PSA levels between 4 and 10 ng/mL, ANXA3 testing missed prostate cancer half the time but had just a 10% rate of false positives. The rate of false positives was even lower when ANXA3 and PSA values were combined.
Up to 75% of all prostate biopsies are unnecessary. The authors of this study predict that the use of ANXA3 could potentially reduce this number to 17%. If further studies support the use of ANXA3 tests, thousands of men could forgo painful, costly biopsies they don't need.
Today the diagnosis of prostate cancer typically begins with an abnormal prostate-specific antigen (PSA) test or perhaps a worrisome finding on a digital rectal exam (DRE). If either the PSA test or DRE suggests cancer, transrectal ultrasound or a prostate biopsy will be performed.
But researchers continue to look for a more accurate way to screen for prostate cancer by testing potential biomarkers to supplement the use of PSA. For example, a biomarker called early prostate cancer antigen-2 (EPCA-2), identified by Johns Hopkins researchers, shows promise but confirmatory studies are needed.
Now, an experimental test that measures levels of a protein in the urine called ANXA3 could help make screening for prostate cancer more accurate. ANXA3 plays a role in cell differentiation and migration.
The study, which comes from Germany and Austria and was published in The Journal of Urology (volume 181, page 343), included 591 men who were being screened for prostate cancer using digital rectal examination and PSA testing. A total of 368 had prostate cancer, and 223 did not.
The researchers found that among the 244 men with PSA levels between 2 and 6 ng/mL, ANXA3 testing missed prostate cancer half the time but had just a 13% rate of false positives. Among the 280 men with PSA levels between 4 and 10 ng/mL, ANXA3 testing missed prostate cancer half the time but had just a 10% rate of false positives. The rate of false positives was even lower when ANXA3 and PSA values were combined.
Up to 75% of all prostate biopsies are unnecessary. The authors of this study predict that the use of ANXA3 could potentially reduce this number to 17%. If further studies support the use of ANXA3 tests, thousands of men could forgo painful, costly biopsies they don't need.
Stephen Johnson: She Says You Don't Communicate
In the movie, The Prince of Tides, there was a particular scene that sticks out in my memory. The adult son, played by Nick Nolte, is standing on a pier with his aging, alcoholic father, who is baiting a fishhook. “You know, I love you,” Hurt says to his father. Without looking up, the father replies after a brief pause, “The Padres beat the Dodgers last night. Did you know that?” He then furtively raises his eyes from the task of preparing the hook to glance at Hurt in a cryptic fashion. Women hearing that line might be inclined to say, “He’s unable to communicate with his son.” Men, on the other hand, see through the disguise. They know the father is communicating, “I love you, too.”
This kind of communication, however, is typically one of the things that drive women crazy about men. If a daughter was professing her love for her mother, the communication between the two would most likely be more responsive and exude a feeling tone that was rich, if not effusive, with emotion-laden expression. The more obscure brand of communication that men are noted for is what often gives women the impression that men are not good communicators and are not in touch with their feelings.
What men seem to intrinsically know, however, is the fact that even when they are talking about sports, business, politics or women they are also sharing feelings. They just do it in code or through actions.
Linguist, Deborah Tannen, Ph.D., in her book, You Just Don’t Understand: Women and Men in Conversation, presented ground-breaking research confirming what we suspected all along, which is that men and women have innately different communication styles. Her thesis is that men engage the world as individuals in a hierarchical social order in which they are either one-up or one-down. She states, “In this world, conversations are negotiations in which people try to achieve and maintain the upper hand if they can, and protect themselves from others’ attempts to put them down and push them around. Life, then, is a contest, a struggle to preserve independence and avoid failure.”
If we trace male behavior back 40,000 years when the masculine societal role was more clear-cut, men were hard-wired to be warriors and hunters. Their communication styles needed to be quick, to-the-point and decisive. Self-preservation and basic survival demanded that men cut off their emotions and think, plan, strategize and take action. Men needed to be wily and cunning and intimately connected to their animal instinct.
Since a man is genetically driven by his provider-protector mode, he tends to be non-emotional. He does this so that he can focus on the problem, determine what’s wrong, figure out if it’s a threat that has to be dealt with, and then find a way to deal with it. He doesn’t want to be caught with his back to the door. He wants to stay free and have a clear view so he can determine what moves he has to make. His sense of personal independence, therefore, is held in the highest regard.
Tannen contrasts the masculine scenario with information that suggests that women tend to approach the world as individuals in a network of connections. “In this world,” she states, “conversations are negotiations for closeness in which people try to seek and give confirmation and support, and to reach consensus. They try to protect themselves from others’ attempts to push them away. Life, then, is a community, a struggle to preserve intimacy and avoid isolation. Though there are hierarchies in this world too, they are hierarchies more of friendship than of power and accomplishment.”
Women’s roles have historically been based on their capacity for giving birth, raising children and homemaking. Their primal instinct is to sit on the nest while men’s primal instinct is to circle the nest. The nesting instinct combined with the capacity for child rearing sets women up to be natural face-to-face communicators. The satisfaction of basic needs is more readily attained through intimate exchange. Men tend to be programmed to survey and surmise from a distance. Their natural inclination is to follow objects moving through space and make solitary and often crucial decisions regarding what they see. Their communication process with others is a more shoulder-to-shoulder approach as they scan the horizon and assess the situation. Women are therefore predisposed for interdependent, collaborative relating and men are geared-up for independent, isolated decision-making.
Communication between men and women is a continual balancing act, juggling the conflicting needs for intimacy and independence. If women speak and hear a language of connection and intimacy, while men speak and hear a language of status and independence, then communication between men and women can truly seem like they are speaking entirely different languages as suggested by John Gray in his book, Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus.
In our contemporary culture the demands of survival have shifted requiring men and women to adapt to an ever-changing role structure. More and more women are working outside the home sharing the provider responsibilities with men while more men are improving their parenting skills and sharing the duties of homemaking. This raises the expectations that through shared experiences men and women are going to have an easier time communicating. It has been my observation, however, that the only thing that has been raised is the stakes. The external stresses on men and women have dramatically increased, putting more internal pressure on them to communicate even more efficiently and effectively. The difficulty is that communication seems to be at an all-time low judging from the high divorce rate and manifest evidence that couples appear increasingly dissatisfied with the quality of their relationships.
In my psychotherapy practice with couples I find myself constantly called on to help men and women comprehend and accept their different communication styles. It is important that the individuals realize that because they have unique ways of conversing it doesn’t necessarily mean that they are incompatible. I attempt to help couples build a bridge to span their different emotional languages. It’s a bridge that allows them to cross from their own ends at different rates and to meet somewhere over the chasm that separates them.
When I evaluate a couple’s capacity for communication, the first thing that I assess is the degree of safety that exists between them. I believe that if they can feel safe with each other, then they can also be vulnerable with each other. Vulnerability essentially means capability of being wounded. Each individual needs to feel safe to be open, trusting that the other will not wound him or her. This sets the stage for intimate contact. True intimacy therefore stems from a couple’s ability to be authentically honest and vulnerable with each other in a safe environment.
The language of intimacy expresses, “We’re close and the same.” The essential element providing connection here is symmetry. The symmetry of connection is what creates the presence of community or the feeling that, “We are in this together, struggling for the same thing... closeness.” This understanding allows us to relax into the realization that, “Even though we are different and have unique ways of expressing ourselves, we want the same thing.” This shared awareness reinforces the feeling of mutuality, which is the basis or foundation for satisfying communication.
This kind of communication, however, is typically one of the things that drive women crazy about men. If a daughter was professing her love for her mother, the communication between the two would most likely be more responsive and exude a feeling tone that was rich, if not effusive, with emotion-laden expression. The more obscure brand of communication that men are noted for is what often gives women the impression that men are not good communicators and are not in touch with their feelings.
What men seem to intrinsically know, however, is the fact that even when they are talking about sports, business, politics or women they are also sharing feelings. They just do it in code or through actions.
Linguist, Deborah Tannen, Ph.D., in her book, You Just Don’t Understand: Women and Men in Conversation, presented ground-breaking research confirming what we suspected all along, which is that men and women have innately different communication styles. Her thesis is that men engage the world as individuals in a hierarchical social order in which they are either one-up or one-down. She states, “In this world, conversations are negotiations in which people try to achieve and maintain the upper hand if they can, and protect themselves from others’ attempts to put them down and push them around. Life, then, is a contest, a struggle to preserve independence and avoid failure.”
If we trace male behavior back 40,000 years when the masculine societal role was more clear-cut, men were hard-wired to be warriors and hunters. Their communication styles needed to be quick, to-the-point and decisive. Self-preservation and basic survival demanded that men cut off their emotions and think, plan, strategize and take action. Men needed to be wily and cunning and intimately connected to their animal instinct.
Since a man is genetically driven by his provider-protector mode, he tends to be non-emotional. He does this so that he can focus on the problem, determine what’s wrong, figure out if it’s a threat that has to be dealt with, and then find a way to deal with it. He doesn’t want to be caught with his back to the door. He wants to stay free and have a clear view so he can determine what moves he has to make. His sense of personal independence, therefore, is held in the highest regard.
Tannen contrasts the masculine scenario with information that suggests that women tend to approach the world as individuals in a network of connections. “In this world,” she states, “conversations are negotiations for closeness in which people try to seek and give confirmation and support, and to reach consensus. They try to protect themselves from others’ attempts to push them away. Life, then, is a community, a struggle to preserve intimacy and avoid isolation. Though there are hierarchies in this world too, they are hierarchies more of friendship than of power and accomplishment.”
Women’s roles have historically been based on their capacity for giving birth, raising children and homemaking. Their primal instinct is to sit on the nest while men’s primal instinct is to circle the nest. The nesting instinct combined with the capacity for child rearing sets women up to be natural face-to-face communicators. The satisfaction of basic needs is more readily attained through intimate exchange. Men tend to be programmed to survey and surmise from a distance. Their natural inclination is to follow objects moving through space and make solitary and often crucial decisions regarding what they see. Their communication process with others is a more shoulder-to-shoulder approach as they scan the horizon and assess the situation. Women are therefore predisposed for interdependent, collaborative relating and men are geared-up for independent, isolated decision-making.
Communication between men and women is a continual balancing act, juggling the conflicting needs for intimacy and independence. If women speak and hear a language of connection and intimacy, while men speak and hear a language of status and independence, then communication between men and women can truly seem like they are speaking entirely different languages as suggested by John Gray in his book, Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus.
In our contemporary culture the demands of survival have shifted requiring men and women to adapt to an ever-changing role structure. More and more women are working outside the home sharing the provider responsibilities with men while more men are improving their parenting skills and sharing the duties of homemaking. This raises the expectations that through shared experiences men and women are going to have an easier time communicating. It has been my observation, however, that the only thing that has been raised is the stakes. The external stresses on men and women have dramatically increased, putting more internal pressure on them to communicate even more efficiently and effectively. The difficulty is that communication seems to be at an all-time low judging from the high divorce rate and manifest evidence that couples appear increasingly dissatisfied with the quality of their relationships.
In my psychotherapy practice with couples I find myself constantly called on to help men and women comprehend and accept their different communication styles. It is important that the individuals realize that because they have unique ways of conversing it doesn’t necessarily mean that they are incompatible. I attempt to help couples build a bridge to span their different emotional languages. It’s a bridge that allows them to cross from their own ends at different rates and to meet somewhere over the chasm that separates them.
When I evaluate a couple’s capacity for communication, the first thing that I assess is the degree of safety that exists between them. I believe that if they can feel safe with each other, then they can also be vulnerable with each other. Vulnerability essentially means capability of being wounded. Each individual needs to feel safe to be open, trusting that the other will not wound him or her. This sets the stage for intimate contact. True intimacy therefore stems from a couple’s ability to be authentically honest and vulnerable with each other in a safe environment.
The language of intimacy expresses, “We’re close and the same.” The essential element providing connection here is symmetry. The symmetry of connection is what creates the presence of community or the feeling that, “We are in this together, struggling for the same thing... closeness.” This understanding allows us to relax into the realization that, “Even though we are different and have unique ways of expressing ourselves, we want the same thing.” This shared awareness reinforces the feeling of mutuality, which is the basis or foundation for satisfying communication.
Excerpt from: Wisdom of Wolves, by Twyman Towery
No other mammal shows more spirited devotion to its family, organization or social group than the wolf. The members of the wolf pack hunt together to insure survival of the group, but they also play, sing, sleep, scuffle and protect each other. A wolf's purpose for existing is to insure the survival of the pack.
A wolf pack is made up of parents, aunts, uncles, brothers, sisters, half brothers and half sisters - it is truly an extended family organization. And though generally only the Alpha male and Alpha female produce pups, every member of the pack participates in the nurturing and education of the young. Each pack member assumes responsibility for the food, shelter, training, protection and play where the pups are concerned, for the pack realizes that the young are their future.
The loyalty exhibited between wolves is well known and documented. But a Montana man who has used his summers for years to study wolves in Alaska gave me a different view of wolf loyalty. He told about a couple he knew who lived in an extremely remote area with their two sons in a log cabin they had made by hand. This family also included two wolves they had raised from earliest puppyhood, rescuing them from their den after their mother had been indiscriminately shot and the pups left to die. This was the only family the wolves had ever known, having only lived with humans as their pack mates.
One day the parents were cutting wood about a mile from home when one of the boys accidentally turned over a kerosene lamp (there was no electricity), and a raging fire began to consume the wooden structure. The two wolves immediately dashed toward the flaming cabin where the two boys were trapped inside, immobilized by smoke and fear. The parents were far behind, so the wolves gnawed and fought their way into the cabin and pulled the boys outside to safety. Though both wolves were badly burned, their loyalty to their "pack" meant the difference between life and death for these two members of their "pack."
The Wolf Credo, written by Del Goetz, truly captures what the wolf is all about:
Respect the elders.
Teach the young Cooperate with the pack.
Play when you can.
Hunt when you must.
Rest in between.
Share your affections.
Voice your feelings.
Leave your mark.
© Del Goetz
A wolf pack is made up of parents, aunts, uncles, brothers, sisters, half brothers and half sisters - it is truly an extended family organization. And though generally only the Alpha male and Alpha female produce pups, every member of the pack participates in the nurturing and education of the young. Each pack member assumes responsibility for the food, shelter, training, protection and play where the pups are concerned, for the pack realizes that the young are their future.
The loyalty exhibited between wolves is well known and documented. But a Montana man who has used his summers for years to study wolves in Alaska gave me a different view of wolf loyalty. He told about a couple he knew who lived in an extremely remote area with their two sons in a log cabin they had made by hand. This family also included two wolves they had raised from earliest puppyhood, rescuing them from their den after their mother had been indiscriminately shot and the pups left to die. This was the only family the wolves had ever known, having only lived with humans as their pack mates.
One day the parents were cutting wood about a mile from home when one of the boys accidentally turned over a kerosene lamp (there was no electricity), and a raging fire began to consume the wooden structure. The two wolves immediately dashed toward the flaming cabin where the two boys were trapped inside, immobilized by smoke and fear. The parents were far behind, so the wolves gnawed and fought their way into the cabin and pulled the boys outside to safety. Though both wolves were badly burned, their loyalty to their "pack" meant the difference between life and death for these two members of their "pack."
The Wolf Credo, written by Del Goetz, truly captures what the wolf is all about:
Respect the elders.
Teach the young Cooperate with the pack.
Play when you can.
Hunt when you must.
Rest in between.
Share your affections.
Voice your feelings.
Leave your mark.
© Del Goetz
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