Sunday, June 1, 2008
Greetings,
Yesterday I was reviewing my notes from the Heart of Meditation retreat I attended seven years ago. It was facilitated by a husband and wife that were devotees of the spiritual teacher, Osho (aka Bhagwan Shree Ragneesh). During an evening Darshan we watched a video of one of Osho’s discourses. It commenced with one of his followers speaking to him about her frustration with her process. She said, “Beloved Osho…there is a confusion in me that keeps coming again and again. The message I have gotten from you more and more is to relax with myself, to watch and wait, but I also feel this urgency to wake up now; and then another part screams, ‘BUT HOW?’ What do I need to do? Do I need to push myself through this wall? Could you make this clear to me?”
I was struck by the simple and yet poignant plea of this Chela (devoted student), and it echoes the expressed sense of urgency that I experience from so many in search of personal enlightenment. That is why I was moved to offer the series of Mindfulness Practicums as a follow up to the Colloquiums in which many authentically expressed their concerns about their lives today. I wanted to offer some practices that underlie the Mindfulness concepts that are espoused by enlightened teachers like Osho.
Osho’s response to this woman was clear and concise. He said, “The mind is confusion; it is not that you are in confusion. And there is no way for the mind to be not in confusion. Mind’s whole structure is based on confusion. Mind is duality; it is always split. There is no single point on which the mind agrees in totality. Half of the mind will agree and half of the mind will disagree, and whatever you choose you are choosing only the half. The remaining half is going to take revenge. The unchosen part, the leftover, will wait for its chance to show you that whatever you have chosen is wrong. But it does not matter which part you choose. Choice itself is wrong.”
Osho went on to explain, “So the first thing to be understood is that there is no mind which has ever been without confusion. Have you ever considered that peace of mind has never existed? Peace of mind is intrinsically impossible. Peace happens only when mind is not. It is not peace of mind; it is peace beyond mind.” He offered an illustration, “It is almost like a lotus flower: it grows in mud and water; it is a miracle of nature that out of dirty mud and water it brings out one of the most beautiful flowers in existence. But mud and water are not the lotus flower. The lotus flower blossoms only when the lotus plant has gone beyond the mud, beyond the water, has transcended both – then it opens up to the sun, to the sky, and releases its fragrance to the wind. Although it comes from the mud, it is not mud anymore.”
He went on to say, “The same is true about peace. Mind is muddy; all kinds of relevant and irrelevant thoughts are jumbled there. It is a crowd, with so many fragments fighting with each other that you can call it a battleground. Mind cannot be at peace. But you can go beyond mind because you are not the mind. You can transcend and become a lotus flower. And then there is peace, there is beauty, there is bliss, and all that you have always dreamt about but have had no experience of.”
Osho’s message to this student and to all those that followed his teachings was to relax, watch and wait. He said, “The message remains the same, because that is the only way to transcend the mind. The watcher is always above the mind. The watcher is never part of the mind. The mind is just like a TV screen on which thoughts, dreams, imaginations, projections, desires, and a thousand and one things go on passing. The watcher is not on the screen; he is sitting in the movie hall. But the problem arises when the watcher becomes identified with something on the movie screen.”
In order to not become triggered by what one identifies with it requires the ability to refrain long enough to make a discerning choice about the most appropriate response to the stimulus. In the first Practicum we worked with the practice of Non-Resistance. In the second Practicum we explored the practice of Patience and in our third meeting we surrendered into the practice of Stillness. On July 26th we will work with the practice of Refraining.
Buddhist nun, Pema Chodron, in her book Uncomfortable with Uncertainty offers these words about the Mindfulness practice of Refraining, “Refraining is very much the method of becoming a dharmic person. It’s the quality of not grabbing for entertainment the minute we feel a slight edge of boredom coming on. It’s the practice of not immediately filling up space just because there’s a gap.”
She emphasizes, “Refraining – not habitually acting out impulsively – has something to do with giving up the entertainment mentality. Through refraining, we see that there’s something between the arising of the craving – or the aggression or the loneliness or whatever it might be – and whatever action we take as a result. There’s something there in us that we don’t want to experience, and we never do experience, because we’re so quick to act. The practice of mindfulness and refraining is a way to get in touch with basic groundlessness – by noticing how we try to avoid it.”
On July 26th, we will observe how to use this helpful practice in our relationships and just how we can improve our communication process and intimacy quotient with those with whom we positively engage as well as tend to become entangled with from time-to-time.
I have offered the Colloquiums last year and the Practicum series this year as opportunities for you to meet with your brothers and continue the work in between the semi-annual four-day retreats. Rich, Mitch and I take no money personally from these offerings. All registration fees are left in the account to pay the operating costs of the company, Sacred Path Productions, that makes these events possible.
Now, I have a request of you. I would like to have a minimum of 20 participants for each Practicum and have found that there has been some inconsistency in the numbers of attendees over the past couple of years. In January we had 20 participants, in March we had 17 and in May there were 14. I know that those of you that have attended one or more of these events have gotten a lot out of the experience. You have told me so. I also know that we all have busy schedules and many options to choose from…we can’t do everything that we want to do all the time. But, my request of you is that you consider that by supporting these events you are helping to keep the money in the account to be able to offer future events and you are also furthering your own personal growth. Please consider that even though a Practicum with 14 participants may feel intimate and just the right size, it falls short of bringing in the needed funds to meet the on-going monthly expenses. So you 6 guys that thought of signing up for the Practicum but didn’t, we wish you had; and those of you that haven’t considered the benefit of your participation in these events, please do. It’s just as easy for Rich, Mitch and I to facilitate an event that has 20 participants as 14. The preparation is the same but the outcome is different. Please be mindful of how you can support the ongoing programs by allowing yourself to participate in these events. We create these events with you in mind. Mindfulness gives rise to further mindfulness.
On a final note, the Men's Center would like to help where we can and, in addition to our support of at-risk youth through our Call to Adventure Retreats, we are planning to launch a new program to aid veterans returning from the war zone in Iraq and Aphghanistan. Please read Dan Franklin's article in this newsletter regarding his recent participation in a very powerful conference and some information concerning our intention to give back to our Vets.
Ho,
Stephen
For further information on the July 26 Practicum, click HERE
Sunday, June 1, 2008
An Important Message from Dan Franklin MFT, Associate Director/Men's Center of Los Angeles
As Associate Director of The Men’s Center of Los Angeles, and in affiliation with our Sacred Path Retreats and other services, I was asked to attend an event that proved to be profoundly moving and worthy of the attention of all who read our newsletter, attend our events and are interested in being a part of conscious intention to be informed and a part of making this a better world.
I recently attended a three-day conference by The Soldier’s Project called Hidden Wounds Of War. This organization, which was established to provide free, confidential psychological counseling for military service members and their families, is one of a growing number of organizations and groups of citizens who are dedicating their time and resources to aid and comfort our armed forces and their loved ones. We are in a time of protracted conflicts in the world and this outreach is of particular importance in this time in our history. With wars continuing in Iraq and Afghanistan and hot spots throughout the world, our armed forces are serving with ultimate commitments of mind, body and spirit, often literally sacrificing life and limb for reasons that are personal and meaningful to them and their families and in service to our country.
Whatever one’s political or philosophical point of view toward our involvement as a nation in these struggles, these dedicated people are in need of understanding, services and support from the rest of us. As an organization, we take the position of compassionate caring for our fellow human beings who come from our towns and cities, as neighbors, friends or loved ones. As both staff and participants in our services and events, we are individuals with varying points of view toward all manner of life choices, as it should be in a democracy. Whatever our differing views, there are a great number of Americans who are sensitized to the demands of war and the challenges of our returning veterans and their families, all fellow citizens. In truth, there are a great many Americans, who, for their own reasons, are or have become desensitized to the difficult challenges of our servicemen and women and their families, especially upon returning home to a society that is thousands of miles from the battlefronts. Certainly, we all grow tired of war. What we cannot do is be other than tireless in our dedication to our fellow citizens who have sacrificed so much, and on a voluntary basis.
I was stunned by the magnitude of serious issues this population encounters before, during and post-battlefield. The horrors of war were chronicled during the conference in ways that brought tears to our eyes and a determination to help in any way we could. Warfare has never been child’s play, and modern warfare is by no means an exception. New technologies, defense systems and weaponry serve as affective tools for those who use them and killing fields for those who are subjected to them.
The physical and emotional damage to our troops and their families can’t be overstated. Regardless of what set of statistics are used or believed, thousands of our citizens are dying or returning home with everything from minimal to devastating injuries and trauma to mind, body and spirit. Families have been split apart, parents have had to work, raise children and deal with life issues away from their serving spouses, both men and women. It became clear to those of us in attendance that despite efforts by our government agencies, private organizations and dedicated individuals, our military community needs more help than is currently available. We honor The Soldier’s Project for bringing much needed attention to the medical, psychiatric and psychological communities whose purpose for being is to be of service to our fellow human beings and citizens.
A core group of men associated with The Men’s Center and Sacred Path have stepped forward to answer the call in any way we can. Whether it is by bringing veterans to our Sacred Path Retreats in loving support of their needs and to help facilitate their re-entry into mainstream society, to show them a hell of a good time or by simply co-mingling with those of us in the civilian population or through our counseling services with licensed psychotherapists, we want to help. If you know of a way to help or have ideas we haven’t yet thought about or might not occur to us, please contact us. While our services and contribution are intended to be pro bono, we welcome body, soul and financial support for this developing project.
Our initial group of interested lay and clinical advocates will be meeting to discuss and develop an approach that can make a contribution to this much-deserving population among us. We know it will be challenging. We know we all need further training and skill sets. Our hope is that by bringing our high intention to the attention of all of you who will read this and/or are interested in the work we do together, the core group will grow in size, strength and determination. As we are one world, we are one nation, one community, one individual after another who cares and wants to be a part of something decent and honorable. I believe anyone reading this is drawn to our organization, our web-site or our events because they are curious at least, and committed at most, to raising consciousness on the planet and being a part of the solution rather than the problems in our world. That’s why The Men’s Center and Sacred Path exist. This is our next challenge.
We welcome your thoughts, your reflections, your feedback, your knowledge, and your participation in helping us help ourselves and help others. This holds true not only for our fellow Californians, but any of you interested from other parts of the country as servicemen and women or civilians. This is a worthy and much needed cause. As the Marines would tell us, a few good men and women go a long way. The more of us who join the civilian ranks and serve our world, our country and our community, the greater the results and rewards not just for our military families but for ourselves. This is a different kind of call to arms. It is a call to arms that embraces us all as one nation, caring for each other, all in service, one way or another.
I recently attended a three-day conference by The Soldier’s Project called Hidden Wounds Of War. This organization, which was established to provide free, confidential psychological counseling for military service members and their families, is one of a growing number of organizations and groups of citizens who are dedicating their time and resources to aid and comfort our armed forces and their loved ones. We are in a time of protracted conflicts in the world and this outreach is of particular importance in this time in our history. With wars continuing in Iraq and Afghanistan and hot spots throughout the world, our armed forces are serving with ultimate commitments of mind, body and spirit, often literally sacrificing life and limb for reasons that are personal and meaningful to them and their families and in service to our country.
Whatever one’s political or philosophical point of view toward our involvement as a nation in these struggles, these dedicated people are in need of understanding, services and support from the rest of us. As an organization, we take the position of compassionate caring for our fellow human beings who come from our towns and cities, as neighbors, friends or loved ones. As both staff and participants in our services and events, we are individuals with varying points of view toward all manner of life choices, as it should be in a democracy. Whatever our differing views, there are a great number of Americans who are sensitized to the demands of war and the challenges of our returning veterans and their families, all fellow citizens. In truth, there are a great many Americans, who, for their own reasons, are or have become desensitized to the difficult challenges of our servicemen and women and their families, especially upon returning home to a society that is thousands of miles from the battlefronts. Certainly, we all grow tired of war. What we cannot do is be other than tireless in our dedication to our fellow citizens who have sacrificed so much, and on a voluntary basis.
I was stunned by the magnitude of serious issues this population encounters before, during and post-battlefield. The horrors of war were chronicled during the conference in ways that brought tears to our eyes and a determination to help in any way we could. Warfare has never been child’s play, and modern warfare is by no means an exception. New technologies, defense systems and weaponry serve as affective tools for those who use them and killing fields for those who are subjected to them.
The physical and emotional damage to our troops and their families can’t be overstated. Regardless of what set of statistics are used or believed, thousands of our citizens are dying or returning home with everything from minimal to devastating injuries and trauma to mind, body and spirit. Families have been split apart, parents have had to work, raise children and deal with life issues away from their serving spouses, both men and women. It became clear to those of us in attendance that despite efforts by our government agencies, private organizations and dedicated individuals, our military community needs more help than is currently available. We honor The Soldier’s Project for bringing much needed attention to the medical, psychiatric and psychological communities whose purpose for being is to be of service to our fellow human beings and citizens.
A core group of men associated with The Men’s Center and Sacred Path have stepped forward to answer the call in any way we can. Whether it is by bringing veterans to our Sacred Path Retreats in loving support of their needs and to help facilitate their re-entry into mainstream society, to show them a hell of a good time or by simply co-mingling with those of us in the civilian population or through our counseling services with licensed psychotherapists, we want to help. If you know of a way to help or have ideas we haven’t yet thought about or might not occur to us, please contact us. While our services and contribution are intended to be pro bono, we welcome body, soul and financial support for this developing project.
Our initial group of interested lay and clinical advocates will be meeting to discuss and develop an approach that can make a contribution to this much-deserving population among us. We know it will be challenging. We know we all need further training and skill sets. Our hope is that by bringing our high intention to the attention of all of you who will read this and/or are interested in the work we do together, the core group will grow in size, strength and determination. As we are one world, we are one nation, one community, one individual after another who cares and wants to be a part of something decent and honorable. I believe anyone reading this is drawn to our organization, our web-site or our events because they are curious at least, and committed at most, to raising consciousness on the planet and being a part of the solution rather than the problems in our world. That’s why The Men’s Center and Sacred Path exist. This is our next challenge.
We welcome your thoughts, your reflections, your feedback, your knowledge, and your participation in helping us help ourselves and help others. This holds true not only for our fellow Californians, but any of you interested from other parts of the country as servicemen and women or civilians. This is a worthy and much needed cause. As the Marines would tell us, a few good men and women go a long way. The more of us who join the civilian ranks and serve our world, our country and our community, the greater the results and rewards not just for our military families but for ourselves. This is a different kind of call to arms. It is a call to arms that embraces us all as one nation, caring for each other, all in service, one way or another.
Comments on the May 17th Practicum
Thanks so much for the enlightenment and the crash course you provided. In my present situation, I really needed it. I guess I was at the right session to learn about aloneness and the importance of stillness in everyday life. Sometimes we forget about the basics of living, and the Practicum was a wonderful way to bring everything back into balance.
Looking forward to the July session!
Be well,
- Jamshid Daneshgar
Although it happens infrequently and then all too briefly, I can occasionally put myself fully into the present and become completely engaged in what I am doing. That is, I can be mindful. I have practiced meditation for several years, albeit with limited success, but the constant demands of my four kids make finding a quiet moment and restful place nearly impossible. So it became clear that I needed a more practical way to connect with my inner self. Stephen's mindfulness Practicums have helped me learn how to develop this vital ability: a practice that has literally given me back my life, a life aside from my past, and aside from my "story." These Practicums have helped me connect with a much more powerful source of peace than I believed possible. Just as importantly, they have given me a chance to learn these skills in the company of truly inspiring men. I have attended every Practicum and always leave with much more than I bring.
- Eric, single father of four
For me, two elements have come clearly into focus since beginning the Practicums. First of all, I am learning practical methods of bringing myself into a peaceful place from a place of anxiety, anger, and alienation; and once I’m there, to keep myself there without backsliding. Second, the progression of the Practicums allows me to digest the material of one before building on it to get to the next stage. Non-resistance learned in the first session led to the acquisition of patience in the second, which took me to living in stillness in the third. This is the first time I can remember having a practice to bring down my hostility at other drivers who cut me off, blow through stop signs in front of me, and, well, I’m sure you all have experienced that anger. I can now deal with it; not all the time, but I'm getting better. Way to go, Stephen!
- Rich Manners
For further information on the upcoming July 26 Practicum, click HERE
Looking forward to the July session!
Be well,
- Jamshid Daneshgar
Although it happens infrequently and then all too briefly, I can occasionally put myself fully into the present and become completely engaged in what I am doing. That is, I can be mindful. I have practiced meditation for several years, albeit with limited success, but the constant demands of my four kids make finding a quiet moment and restful place nearly impossible. So it became clear that I needed a more practical way to connect with my inner self. Stephen's mindfulness Practicums have helped me learn how to develop this vital ability: a practice that has literally given me back my life, a life aside from my past, and aside from my "story." These Practicums have helped me connect with a much more powerful source of peace than I believed possible. Just as importantly, they have given me a chance to learn these skills in the company of truly inspiring men. I have attended every Practicum and always leave with much more than I bring.
- Eric, single father of four
For me, two elements have come clearly into focus since beginning the Practicums. First of all, I am learning practical methods of bringing myself into a peaceful place from a place of anxiety, anger, and alienation; and once I’m there, to keep myself there without backsliding. Second, the progression of the Practicums allows me to digest the material of one before building on it to get to the next stage. Non-resistance learned in the first session led to the acquisition of patience in the second, which took me to living in stillness in the third. This is the first time I can remember having a practice to bring down my hostility at other drivers who cut me off, blow through stop signs in front of me, and, well, I’m sure you all have experienced that anger. I can now deal with it; not all the time, but I'm getting better. Way to go, Stephen!
- Rich Manners
For further information on the upcoming July 26 Practicum, click HERE
Matt O'Connor's Diving With Sharks!
Many of you know Matt O'Connor from the Sacred Path Retreats and Practicums. But - did you know that his work entails being a safety diver/cameraman for films shooting underwater? Here are some shots of Matt at work with a few finny and toothy friends!
Nick Rath's Book, The Job of Parenting, Now At EBAY!
Nick Rath's Book - - "The Job of Parenting"
is now on EBAY!!
Anyone can now get a copy by going to www.ebay.com and searching for
Nick Rath or The Job of Parenting
A great gift for Mother's Day!
or
Father's Day!
or
Any Day!
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