September 3, 2010
Greetings, Sacred Path Community,
I’ll be brief here since I’d really like you to take the time to read about the two upcoming events that we’re excited to announce in this newsletter.
The first is a day for men and women at Holy Spirit Retreat Center on Saturday, September 25th. Most of our events are for men but we don’t want to leave our sisters out in the cold, so on the 25th we’ll have a wonderful opportunity to gather for a heartfelt day of learning, living and loving.
The second event is our 23rd Annual Fall Sacred Path Men’s Retreat just 7 weeks from now (October, 21-24) at Gindling Hilltop Camp, located 15 miles north of Malibu and 2 miles up on a ridge overlooking the ocean. We have a big surprise for you, so please do read further. We’re supporting you through offering these programs and we’re grateful to you for returning the gesture through your enrollments. It does let us know that what we’re providing is meaningful.
Have a great Labor Day holiday weekend.
All my best,
Stephen
To download the flyer/application for the September 25th Day for Men and Women, click HERE
Click HERE to download the Fall 2010 Sacred Path Retreat Flyer
Click HERE to download the Fall 2010 Sacred Path Retreat Application
Friday, September 3, 2010
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Day for Men and Women September 25th, 2010
There are so many stresses and strains that impact the lives of men and women as individuals these days. Unrelenting pressures tear at the fabric of intimate relationships and families causing people to become confused leading to a tendency to lock and load into unremitting conflict. This breakdown of systems frequently leads to the relationship coming apart at the seams. What’s the answer when we are questioning which way to turn for help?
Science of Mind teacher, Ernest Holmes, suggests that: “Love is a language which is universal, interpreted through every living soul and understood by all. Love will find the solution to every problem, will answer every question, and will ultimately vanquish every foe. Love begets tolerance; tolerance begets understanding, an understanding which is able to put itself in the other person’s place.”
On Saturday, September 25th from 8:30 to 4:30 at Holy Spirit Retreat Center we will convene for: Men and Women: Autonomy, Interdependence and the Co-Creative Alliance. An invitation is extended to men and women individually or as couples to join in a day to safely open themselves to an exploration of the significant themes that seem to consume people’s lives today and to drink deeply from the well of tolerance, understanding, compassion and love. This colloquium is designed to be informative and interactive and especially heartfelt.
I have invited five guest presenters to join me in facilitating this event. Three men and three women will hold the space for what will no doubt be a wonderful community gathering.
Catherine DeMonte, MFT has a private practice in Calabasis where she treats children, couples and families. She helps people address and heal the blocks and wounds that keep them from being their most authentic Selves. Her gifts include warm empathy and the ability to get to the heart of the matter. It's often said about her that she can hear what isn't said. When working with couples she doesn't take sides. She is on the "side" of the relationship. Catherine is passionate about helping people return to the feeling that inspired couples to get together in the first place. Her presentation will focus on: Balancing Our Lives as Women. She suggests that finding balance can be quite challenging for a woman these days and can spill over into the relationship with the man in her life. She states, “Having time for our selves while feeling solid & whole emotionally, physically, and spiritually is difficult for a lot of women. It seems something always has to give. How do you find time & balance while maintaining high quality relationships with your partner, children and others?” Catherine will inspire women, who juggle many demanding roles and responsibilities in today’s fast-paced and stressful society, to learn to live joyfully while leveraging their two most precious resources, time and energy! It sounds like men will benefit from this information as well. www.catherinedemonte.ocm
Dr. Bruce Derman has been a friend and colleague for over twenty years. He is a clinical psychologist in private practice for forty-two years in Woodland hills and Santa Monica who specializes in couple relationships, sex therapy, eating disorders, divorce mediation and coaching. He has written three books on relationships including, We'd Have a Great Relationship if it Weren't for you. Bruce will present on the theme of his new book, The Hole, and the role that “the hole” plays in couple relationships. The Hole deals with the greatest fear that couples have...emptiness. Couples often struggle with the unending ups and downs of trying to fill their individual holes from the outside with things, such as money, obsessive sex, porn, affairs, emotional tirades, powering, and many other things rather then accepting the nature of their emptiness. Bruce will share with the group members his perspective that emptiness lies beneath the core of everyone's journey and understanding and accepting this concept is crucial to finding peace in one's life and ultimately one’s intimate relationship. The alternative to this quest is constant negative consequences or a lifetime of chasing and defending images leading to the possibility of divorce, as each person seeks out new answers to their bottomless holes.
www.relationshipdoctor.net
Gina Cloud is a deeply devoted teacher, author, speaker, dancer, and mother of a teenaged daughter. She works with women and men, facilitating deep transformational work using the alchemical blending of techniques from all over the world. She is also passionate about empowering young girls and her work has a strong focus on the biological cycles of women. She is deeply committed to teaching self-empowerment to others in a way that brings forth each person’s authentic self, expressed in true beauty and radiating through the heart. www.GinaCloud.com
Gina Cloud will be focusing her presentation on the subject of her book, W.O.M.A.N.: A New Definition. W.O.M.A.N. is an acronym for W.ild, O.pen, M.agical, A.uthentically-empowered, N.ectar. From a spiritual perspective, there is a refocusing in the world today towards the Sacred Feminine, yet many women are living a more masculine existence, which in turn impacts men and the roles we play with each other. This new definition is a spark that could facilitate the process of transformation and the reclamation of balance in the polarities between women and men.
Dan Franklin, MFT, J.D. is the Director of Counseling Services for the Men’s Center of Los Angeles and in private practice as a California state licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with offices in Beverly Hills and Woodland Hills. He specializes within his general practice in couples counseling and intimacy issues, promoting personal and inter-personal empowerment and rapport building within relationships.
As is probably always the case, we are doomed to live in interesting times. With a shaky economy and changing lifestyle and career choices and imperatives for men and women, the dynamics of relationships are more complicated than ever. Dan Franklin’s portion of the program will explore the impact that expectations and reality are having on men in particular, their identities and self-worth and the impact on male/female relationships.
Andrea Fisher considers herself to be a strategic partner assisting others to heal from hardships and personal challenges. She has a lot of passion for supporting men as they traverse a path leading to an opening of their hearts and an expansion of their minds as they access their hidden potential.
Andrea Fisher is a potent speaker who assists others to heal from hardships and personal challenges. Through her own journey and introspective process she has gained an insight and compassion that she freely shares. She has a lot of passion for supporting men as they traverse a path leading to an opening of their hearts and an expansion of their minds as they access their hidden potential. She offers a safe, inviting presence and playfulness that is sure to inspire.
Andrea is a life coach and student of psychology working with men and their feelings. Through her own personal transformation of overcoming great pain and suffering she has been a catalyst for others in helping them to face their own challenges. She now serves as an inspiring coach and an insightful guide through sharing her courage and commitment to help others.
Stephen J. Johnson, Ph.D., MFT is licensed Psychotherapist in private practice since 1972. He is a gifted facilitator and a master guide for the experiential journey. Using his skills as a psychotherapist and the sensibility of a wisdom teacher, he creates a context that allows a freedom of expression, an access to one’s pain, and a doorway to transformation. He acts as a gatekeeper to personal expansion, guide for the spiritual journey and mentor to the opening heart. Dr. Johnson stands in the forefront of the developing field of Male Psychology and Gender Dynamics. www.DrStephenJohnson.com
In my work specifically with men in relationship I have focused on helping them become more Mindful. In so doing, men have become more discerning about the tools and skills that help to stabilize and reinvigorate their intimate relationships. I will focus my contribution to the day on Mindful Relationships and how true soul mates arrive at the realization that their relationship serves as a crucible that is durable enough to allow the right alchemical elements to coalesce maximizing the potential for enlightenment to occur. At the heart of most spiritual teachings is the understanding that Sacred Companionship is one of the two pure paths leading to personal liberation and evolved consciousness. It’s not an easy rode to hoe but the journey along the path promises big results.
At the heart of it, both men and women want the same thing from each other in a relationship: to feel "gotten" and understood. But because we approach getting our needs met differently, both men and women are too often left feeling like their partners don't understand or appreciate them. So many men say that they don't feel valued by their women, and so many women say they don't feel cherished by their men. How can we bridge that gap? How can both get their needs met? The intention of this colloquium is to provide a safe space for men and women to learn from and to support each other authentically and compassionately as we delve into the issues.
Space is limited. Download the flier to register so that you can reserve your place.
To download the flyer/application, click HERE
Science of Mind teacher, Ernest Holmes, suggests that: “Love is a language which is universal, interpreted through every living soul and understood by all. Love will find the solution to every problem, will answer every question, and will ultimately vanquish every foe. Love begets tolerance; tolerance begets understanding, an understanding which is able to put itself in the other person’s place.”
On Saturday, September 25th from 8:30 to 4:30 at Holy Spirit Retreat Center we will convene for: Men and Women: Autonomy, Interdependence and the Co-Creative Alliance. An invitation is extended to men and women individually or as couples to join in a day to safely open themselves to an exploration of the significant themes that seem to consume people’s lives today and to drink deeply from the well of tolerance, understanding, compassion and love. This colloquium is designed to be informative and interactive and especially heartfelt.
I have invited five guest presenters to join me in facilitating this event. Three men and three women will hold the space for what will no doubt be a wonderful community gathering.
Catherine DeMonte, MFT has a private practice in Calabasis where she treats children, couples and families. She helps people address and heal the blocks and wounds that keep them from being their most authentic Selves. Her gifts include warm empathy and the ability to get to the heart of the matter. It's often said about her that she can hear what isn't said. When working with couples she doesn't take sides. She is on the "side" of the relationship. Catherine is passionate about helping people return to the feeling that inspired couples to get together in the first place. Her presentation will focus on: Balancing Our Lives as Women. She suggests that finding balance can be quite challenging for a woman these days and can spill over into the relationship with the man in her life. She states, “Having time for our selves while feeling solid & whole emotionally, physically, and spiritually is difficult for a lot of women. It seems something always has to give. How do you find time & balance while maintaining high quality relationships with your partner, children and others?” Catherine will inspire women, who juggle many demanding roles and responsibilities in today’s fast-paced and stressful society, to learn to live joyfully while leveraging their two most precious resources, time and energy! It sounds like men will benefit from this information as well. www.catherinedemonte.ocm
Dr. Bruce Derman has been a friend and colleague for over twenty years. He is a clinical psychologist in private practice for forty-two years in Woodland hills and Santa Monica who specializes in couple relationships, sex therapy, eating disorders, divorce mediation and coaching. He has written three books on relationships including, We'd Have a Great Relationship if it Weren't for you. Bruce will present on the theme of his new book, The Hole, and the role that “the hole” plays in couple relationships. The Hole deals with the greatest fear that couples have...emptiness. Couples often struggle with the unending ups and downs of trying to fill their individual holes from the outside with things, such as money, obsessive sex, porn, affairs, emotional tirades, powering, and many other things rather then accepting the nature of their emptiness. Bruce will share with the group members his perspective that emptiness lies beneath the core of everyone's journey and understanding and accepting this concept is crucial to finding peace in one's life and ultimately one’s intimate relationship. The alternative to this quest is constant negative consequences or a lifetime of chasing and defending images leading to the possibility of divorce, as each person seeks out new answers to their bottomless holes.
www.relationshipdoctor.net
Gina Cloud is a deeply devoted teacher, author, speaker, dancer, and mother of a teenaged daughter. She works with women and men, facilitating deep transformational work using the alchemical blending of techniques from all over the world. She is also passionate about empowering young girls and her work has a strong focus on the biological cycles of women. She is deeply committed to teaching self-empowerment to others in a way that brings forth each person’s authentic self, expressed in true beauty and radiating through the heart. www.GinaCloud.com
Gina Cloud will be focusing her presentation on the subject of her book, W.O.M.A.N.: A New Definition. W.O.M.A.N. is an acronym for W.ild, O.pen, M.agical, A.uthentically-empowered, N.ectar. From a spiritual perspective, there is a refocusing in the world today towards the Sacred Feminine, yet many women are living a more masculine existence, which in turn impacts men and the roles we play with each other. This new definition is a spark that could facilitate the process of transformation and the reclamation of balance in the polarities between women and men.
Dan Franklin, MFT, J.D. is the Director of Counseling Services for the Men’s Center of Los Angeles and in private practice as a California state licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with offices in Beverly Hills and Woodland Hills. He specializes within his general practice in couples counseling and intimacy issues, promoting personal and inter-personal empowerment and rapport building within relationships.
As is probably always the case, we are doomed to live in interesting times. With a shaky economy and changing lifestyle and career choices and imperatives for men and women, the dynamics of relationships are more complicated than ever. Dan Franklin’s portion of the program will explore the impact that expectations and reality are having on men in particular, their identities and self-worth and the impact on male/female relationships.
Andrea Fisher considers herself to be a strategic partner assisting others to heal from hardships and personal challenges. She has a lot of passion for supporting men as they traverse a path leading to an opening of their hearts and an expansion of their minds as they access their hidden potential.
Andrea Fisher is a potent speaker who assists others to heal from hardships and personal challenges. Through her own journey and introspective process she has gained an insight and compassion that she freely shares. She has a lot of passion for supporting men as they traverse a path leading to an opening of their hearts and an expansion of their minds as they access their hidden potential. She offers a safe, inviting presence and playfulness that is sure to inspire.
Andrea is a life coach and student of psychology working with men and their feelings. Through her own personal transformation of overcoming great pain and suffering she has been a catalyst for others in helping them to face their own challenges. She now serves as an inspiring coach and an insightful guide through sharing her courage and commitment to help others.
Stephen J. Johnson, Ph.D., MFT is licensed Psychotherapist in private practice since 1972. He is a gifted facilitator and a master guide for the experiential journey. Using his skills as a psychotherapist and the sensibility of a wisdom teacher, he creates a context that allows a freedom of expression, an access to one’s pain, and a doorway to transformation. He acts as a gatekeeper to personal expansion, guide for the spiritual journey and mentor to the opening heart. Dr. Johnson stands in the forefront of the developing field of Male Psychology and Gender Dynamics. www.DrStephenJohnson.com
In my work specifically with men in relationship I have focused on helping them become more Mindful. In so doing, men have become more discerning about the tools and skills that help to stabilize and reinvigorate their intimate relationships. I will focus my contribution to the day on Mindful Relationships and how true soul mates arrive at the realization that their relationship serves as a crucible that is durable enough to allow the right alchemical elements to coalesce maximizing the potential for enlightenment to occur. At the heart of most spiritual teachings is the understanding that Sacred Companionship is one of the two pure paths leading to personal liberation and evolved consciousness. It’s not an easy rode to hoe but the journey along the path promises big results.
At the heart of it, both men and women want the same thing from each other in a relationship: to feel "gotten" and understood. But because we approach getting our needs met differently, both men and women are too often left feeling like their partners don't understand or appreciate them. So many men say that they don't feel valued by their women, and so many women say they don't feel cherished by their men. How can we bridge that gap? How can both get their needs met? The intention of this colloquium is to provide a safe space for men and women to learn from and to support each other authentically and compassionately as we delve into the issues.
Space is limited. Download the flier to register so that you can reserve your place.
To download the flyer/application, click HERE
Phoenix Rising: Into the Fire and out of the Ashes. The 23rd Annual Fall Sacred Path Men’s Retreat October 21-24, 2010
It’s finally here. Your opportunity to sign up for the time of your life is right now. Read about the exciting plans for our upcoming men’s retreat and join with your brothers as we are transformed by fire.
A phoenix is a mythical bird that is a fire spirit with a colorful plumage and a tail of gold and scarlet (or purple, blue, and green according to some legends). It has a 500 to 1000 year life-cycle, near the end of which it builds itself a nest of twigs that it then ignites; both nest and bird burn fiercely! They are reduced to ashes, from which a new, young phoenix or phoenix egg arises, reborn anew to live again. The new phoenix is destined to live as long as its old self.
In all things there is a natural cycle of endings and new beginnings that furthers the aim of making significant changes along the journey from birth until death. A phoenix is a symbol for transformation. Like a phoenix rising from the ashes we too have the ability to deeply transform our selves through determined focus and skillful actions in combination with intuitive understanding regarding our life purpose.
Let me ask you a question. When you first became aware that we were going to hold a Firewalk ceremony at the fall Sacred Path retreat, what crossed your mind and perhaps more importantly, what did you feel; excitement, enthusiasm or resistance? The most common feeling arising from those that have not done a Firewalk before is, fearful. Perhaps your mind said, “that’s dangerous” or “how stupid,” or, “what’s the point? or even, “I can’t do that.” Quite reasonable reactions and I can tell you this: I did the firewalk with the Tony Robbins Institute over 20 years ago and all of the normal feelings and thoughts came up for me as well, and I did it anyway. Even though I initially felt the fear, I chose not to let it hold me back. And what I got from doing the firewalk I credit as being one of the most compelling and life changing experiences of my life. In fact, I did it four times on three entirely separate occasions and I invited dozens of friends to join me for the experience of a lifetime.
When I was a youngster I suffered from a lot of anxiety and would typically let my fear hold me back. I would go to extremes to create excuses to hopefully legitimize why I couldn’t follow through with things that scared me. Eventually, I had the presence of mind to make an agreement with my fear. I told it that I would no longer allow it to hold me back and that it could come along with me or stay behind but I would no longer allow it to have the power over me to keep me from moving forward with my life.
Certainly it’s important to set appropriate limits and boundaries. We don’t have to do everything in order to prove that we’re courageous or manly. It’s just as important what we say “no” to as it is what we say “yes” to and that distinction can help to keep us safe and secure.
In the mid-1970’s when I experienced the Rebirthing process I learned a lot more about my fears and what had caused them. I also learned that breathing into fear allows it to transmute into excitement. It occurred to me at the time that fear was really excitement without breath and that it was a lot easier to get off of my heels and onto my toes when I didn’t hold my breath.
Susan Jeffers, Ph.D. in her breakthrough book, Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway, published 20 years ago asks her readers to ponder the question, “What is it for you? Fear of public speaking, asserting yourself, making decisions, intimacy, changing jobs, being alone, aging, driving, losing a loved one, ending a relationship?” She goes on to state, “...Fear seems to be epidemic in our society. We fear beginnings; we fear endings. We fear changing; we fear ‘staying stuck.’ We fear success; we fear failure. We fear living; we fear dying.” Dr. Jeffers posits that, “...fear is primarily an educational problem, and that by reeducating the mind, we can accept fear as simply a fact of life rather than a barrier to success.” What she discovered is that, “At the bottom of every one of our fears is simply the fear that we can’t handle whatever life may bring us.” She realized that, “If we knew we could handle anything that came our way, what would we possibly have to fear? The answer is: NOTHING!” Dr. Jeffers concludes that, “All we have to do to diminish our fear is to develop more trust in our ability to handle whatever comes our way!”
The firewalk is more than the experience of learning how to walk on fire without burning yourself. It’s a metaphor for how to confront your fears, your limited beliefs and how to take the leap of faith in all aspects of your day-to-day life. You do not need to be fearless in order to accomplish it. You just need to be intrepid which is the willingness, as Susan Jeffers encouraged us years ago, to feel the fear and do it anyway. The firewalk is a breakthrough experience that can educate and empower you to move through other barriers standing between you and what you want and need to handle in your life.
Fire is an extraordinary element. It’s transformative. Yes, it can harm but it can also heal. What do you want to burn away in your life? What’s no longer needed or necessary and can be offered to the fire? What needs to be healed and transformed in your life? This obviously will not be just another Sacred Path retreat. We’ve done a lot of things over the years while on retreat and I personally have always felt that each retreat was new and uniquely powerful. But we’ve never held a firewalk before. Yet, when we were looking at what we were going to add to make this retreat something truly new and memorable, three members of the Wisdom Council in unison said “FIREWALK.
A core group of men began to investigate what it would take to hold a Firewalk. They discovered that there is an organization based in Houston, Texas that conducts firewalks. We have completed the details and have finalized the arrangements to bring a certified team to our fall retreat. They will take us through a learning system to prepare us for safely walking on fire. All the other elements coalescing to create what has served us so well like the Inipi (Sweatlodge) Ceremony, Community Gatherings, Tribe Meetings, Breakout Sessions, Fantastic Cuisine, Fellowship and Good Natured Fun will also be present. Will you?
Based on my own experience and those of the men whom I personally know that have done the firewalk before, I believe this will be a life-changing experience. If you’ve experienced the sweat lodge and experienced the ropes course and any of the other activities that we’ve offered that may have given you pause before you made the decision to take the leap of faith, this is another step along your Sacred Path. I invite and encourage you to take this step and make that leap in your life. I know it will be transformative in many more ways than one or perhaps than you can even imagine. Why wait? Register now and begin the retreat weeks before we convene on the mountain once again in the spirit of brotherhood.
Namaste,
Stephen Johnson
Click HERE to download the Fall 2010 Sacred Path Retreat Flyer
Click HERE to download the Fall 2010 Sacred Path Retreat Application
A phoenix is a mythical bird that is a fire spirit with a colorful plumage and a tail of gold and scarlet (or purple, blue, and green according to some legends). It has a 500 to 1000 year life-cycle, near the end of which it builds itself a nest of twigs that it then ignites; both nest and bird burn fiercely! They are reduced to ashes, from which a new, young phoenix or phoenix egg arises, reborn anew to live again. The new phoenix is destined to live as long as its old self.
In all things there is a natural cycle of endings and new beginnings that furthers the aim of making significant changes along the journey from birth until death. A phoenix is a symbol for transformation. Like a phoenix rising from the ashes we too have the ability to deeply transform our selves through determined focus and skillful actions in combination with intuitive understanding regarding our life purpose.
Let me ask you a question. When you first became aware that we were going to hold a Firewalk ceremony at the fall Sacred Path retreat, what crossed your mind and perhaps more importantly, what did you feel; excitement, enthusiasm or resistance? The most common feeling arising from those that have not done a Firewalk before is, fearful. Perhaps your mind said, “that’s dangerous” or “how stupid,” or, “what’s the point? or even, “I can’t do that.” Quite reasonable reactions and I can tell you this: I did the firewalk with the Tony Robbins Institute over 20 years ago and all of the normal feelings and thoughts came up for me as well, and I did it anyway. Even though I initially felt the fear, I chose not to let it hold me back. And what I got from doing the firewalk I credit as being one of the most compelling and life changing experiences of my life. In fact, I did it four times on three entirely separate occasions and I invited dozens of friends to join me for the experience of a lifetime.
When I was a youngster I suffered from a lot of anxiety and would typically let my fear hold me back. I would go to extremes to create excuses to hopefully legitimize why I couldn’t follow through with things that scared me. Eventually, I had the presence of mind to make an agreement with my fear. I told it that I would no longer allow it to hold me back and that it could come along with me or stay behind but I would no longer allow it to have the power over me to keep me from moving forward with my life.
Certainly it’s important to set appropriate limits and boundaries. We don’t have to do everything in order to prove that we’re courageous or manly. It’s just as important what we say “no” to as it is what we say “yes” to and that distinction can help to keep us safe and secure.
In the mid-1970’s when I experienced the Rebirthing process I learned a lot more about my fears and what had caused them. I also learned that breathing into fear allows it to transmute into excitement. It occurred to me at the time that fear was really excitement without breath and that it was a lot easier to get off of my heels and onto my toes when I didn’t hold my breath.
Susan Jeffers, Ph.D. in her breakthrough book, Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway, published 20 years ago asks her readers to ponder the question, “What is it for you? Fear of public speaking, asserting yourself, making decisions, intimacy, changing jobs, being alone, aging, driving, losing a loved one, ending a relationship?” She goes on to state, “...Fear seems to be epidemic in our society. We fear beginnings; we fear endings. We fear changing; we fear ‘staying stuck.’ We fear success; we fear failure. We fear living; we fear dying.” Dr. Jeffers posits that, “...fear is primarily an educational problem, and that by reeducating the mind, we can accept fear as simply a fact of life rather than a barrier to success.” What she discovered is that, “At the bottom of every one of our fears is simply the fear that we can’t handle whatever life may bring us.” She realized that, “If we knew we could handle anything that came our way, what would we possibly have to fear? The answer is: NOTHING!” Dr. Jeffers concludes that, “All we have to do to diminish our fear is to develop more trust in our ability to handle whatever comes our way!”
The firewalk is more than the experience of learning how to walk on fire without burning yourself. It’s a metaphor for how to confront your fears, your limited beliefs and how to take the leap of faith in all aspects of your day-to-day life. You do not need to be fearless in order to accomplish it. You just need to be intrepid which is the willingness, as Susan Jeffers encouraged us years ago, to feel the fear and do it anyway. The firewalk is a breakthrough experience that can educate and empower you to move through other barriers standing between you and what you want and need to handle in your life.
Fire is an extraordinary element. It’s transformative. Yes, it can harm but it can also heal. What do you want to burn away in your life? What’s no longer needed or necessary and can be offered to the fire? What needs to be healed and transformed in your life? This obviously will not be just another Sacred Path retreat. We’ve done a lot of things over the years while on retreat and I personally have always felt that each retreat was new and uniquely powerful. But we’ve never held a firewalk before. Yet, when we were looking at what we were going to add to make this retreat something truly new and memorable, three members of the Wisdom Council in unison said “FIREWALK.
A core group of men began to investigate what it would take to hold a Firewalk. They discovered that there is an organization based in Houston, Texas that conducts firewalks. We have completed the details and have finalized the arrangements to bring a certified team to our fall retreat. They will take us through a learning system to prepare us for safely walking on fire. All the other elements coalescing to create what has served us so well like the Inipi (Sweatlodge) Ceremony, Community Gatherings, Tribe Meetings, Breakout Sessions, Fantastic Cuisine, Fellowship and Good Natured Fun will also be present. Will you?
Based on my own experience and those of the men whom I personally know that have done the firewalk before, I believe this will be a life-changing experience. If you’ve experienced the sweat lodge and experienced the ropes course and any of the other activities that we’ve offered that may have given you pause before you made the decision to take the leap of faith, this is another step along your Sacred Path. I invite and encourage you to take this step and make that leap in your life. I know it will be transformative in many more ways than one or perhaps than you can even imagine. Why wait? Register now and begin the retreat weeks before we convene on the mountain once again in the spirit of brotherhood.
Namaste,
Stephen Johnson
Click HERE to download the Fall 2010 Sacred Path Retreat Flyer
Click HERE to download the Fall 2010 Sacred Path Retreat Application
Daily Om: Woman
Embracing Womanhood
When one woman honors who she is, all women collectively move closer to becoming what they are capable of being.
There are many ways and myriad reasons for women to honor and embrace all that they are. And when any individual woman chooses to do so, all women collectively move closer to becoming what they are truly capable of being. By honoring her experience and being willing to share it with others˜both male and female˜she teaches as she learns. When she can trust herself and her inner voice, she teaches those around her to trust her as well. Clasping hands with family members and friends, coworkers and strangers in a shared walk through the journey of life, she allows all to see the self-respect she possesses and accepts their respect, too, that is offered through look, word, and deed.
When a woman can look back into her past, doing so without regret and instead seeing only lessons that brought her to her current strength and wisdom, she embraces the fullness of her experience. She helps those around her to build upon the past as she does. And when she chooses to create her desires, she places her power in the present and moves forward with life into the future.
Seeing her own divinity, a woman learns to recognize the divinity in all women. She then can see her body as a temple, appreciating its feminine form and function, regardless of what age or stage of life she finds herself. She can enjoy all that it brings to her experience and appreciate other women and their experiences as well. Rather than seeing other women as competition, she can look around her to see the cycle of life reflected in the beauty of her sisters, reminding her of her own radiance should she ever forget. She can then celebrate all the many aspects that make her a being worthy of praise, dancing to express the physical, speaking proudly to express her intellect, sharing her emotions, and leading the way with her spiritual guidance. Embracing her womanhood, she reveals the facets that allow her to shine with the beauty and strength of a diamond to illuminate her world.
When one woman honors who she is, all women collectively move closer to becoming what they are capable of being.
There are many ways and myriad reasons for women to honor and embrace all that they are. And when any individual woman chooses to do so, all women collectively move closer to becoming what they are truly capable of being. By honoring her experience and being willing to share it with others˜both male and female˜she teaches as she learns. When she can trust herself and her inner voice, she teaches those around her to trust her as well. Clasping hands with family members and friends, coworkers and strangers in a shared walk through the journey of life, she allows all to see the self-respect she possesses and accepts their respect, too, that is offered through look, word, and deed.
When a woman can look back into her past, doing so without regret and instead seeing only lessons that brought her to her current strength and wisdom, she embraces the fullness of her experience. She helps those around her to build upon the past as she does. And when she chooses to create her desires, she places her power in the present and moves forward with life into the future.
Seeing her own divinity, a woman learns to recognize the divinity in all women. She then can see her body as a temple, appreciating its feminine form and function, regardless of what age or stage of life she finds herself. She can enjoy all that it brings to her experience and appreciate other women and their experiences as well. Rather than seeing other women as competition, she can look around her to see the cycle of life reflected in the beauty of her sisters, reminding her of her own radiance should she ever forget. She can then celebrate all the many aspects that make her a being worthy of praise, dancing to express the physical, speaking proudly to express her intellect, sharing her emotions, and leading the way with her spiritual guidance. Embracing her womanhood, she reveals the facets that allow her to shine with the beauty and strength of a diamond to illuminate her world.
Dr. Stephen Johnson: Mindful Men
Published in the July/August 2010 issue of The Los Angeles Psychologist, a publication of the Los Angeles County Psychological Association. The theme of the issue is: Psychotherapy and Mindfulness: Techniques and Theory for Clinical Practice.
I’ve worked as an educator and psychotherapist in private practice for 40 years. In the early days most of my clients were women. At the time we were in the budding phase of a women’s movement and in the midst of the Vietnam War. Women were entering therapy by the droves to plumb the depths of their souls and men were either being deployed to the jungles of Vietnam or heading for the hills to avoid the draft.
The combined forces of the war and the women’s movement drove the wedge deeper into an ever-widening generation and gender gap. Estranged from their fathers and distrustful of male authority figures, a generation of men essentially came to the realization that they were unrequited princes in a kingdom without sacred kings. Uninitiated men of any age still felt like boys in men’s bodies.
Unlike the women’s movement the leadership for evolving men did not emerge for another 15-20 years. But the time finally arrived in the mid-1980s for men to wake up and rise up from the bounds of boyhood and to assume the mantle of manhood. Men’s conferences sprung up around the country, led by elders like Robert Bly, James Hillman, Michael Meade and Robert Moore. Men were eager to discover what these mentors had to tell and show them about what it takes to become a consciously mature man.
I responded to an inner urging to bring good men together and bring out the best in them. In 1987 I launched the first Sacred Path Men’s Retreat, and founded the Men’s Center of Los Angeles in 1988. The Call To Adventure Rites of Passage Retreat for fathers and sons, boys and mentors emerged in 2000. The retreats over the past 23 years have served as Mindfulness based training camps for aspiring “Spiritual Warriors.”
I had noticed that most of the men tended to shift between states of ordinary consciousness that included lapses into semi-consciousness and deep unconsciousness. I found that men’s minds were full of too much unwanted stuff, and most of them were not able to turn their minds off naturally, freeing themselves from the constant chatter of unnecessary thoughts.
Initially, the men were not cognizant of what was referred to as Mindfulness or super-consciousness. I define Mindfulness as purposeful attention to what’s so in the present moment with relaxed presence and focused awareness devoid of critical judgment, as in condemnation, but rather utilizing wise judgment, as in discernment. I found that most individuals experience mind-filled-ness rather than Mindfulness. In fact, many just seem to be mindless rather than mindful these days.
During our states of ordinary consciousness, we often find ourselves overwrought with thought processes and emotions causing reactions, desires, projections and aversions. In this state we are run by our egoic minds and are unaware of simply Being in the present moment. When we are caught up in a perpetual state of doing, we are possessed by activity that is driven by compulsive and addictive behaviors.
In training men to live in a heightened state of Mindfulness, I have found it helpful to have them engage in certain meditative practices that concretize their experience making it real. I liken practices as useful tools in a toolbox that they can carry with them. Having the right tool for the task at hand can be most useful. Practices are like tools in that they are practical instruments for use in dealing with life’s challenges.
Mindfulness meditation can be performed with open eyes. It begins with an observation of one’s breath in its fullness, emanating in and out at the tip of the nose. Mindfulness Meditation is not transcendental, but rather allows one to be consciously aware in each waking moment, welcoming, accepting and integrating one’s external world with a relaxed and calm inner world.
At the retreats we teach men how to utilize the Mindful practices of:
1. Non-Resistance. Men are typically unconscious of their resistance to letting go and just going with the flow. I find that it’s difficult for men to let go or surrender to nothing. In the early stages of Mindfulness training men need to be able to let go to something else. So the training begins with how to identify what one is holding onto and why one is resisting letting go of it and surrendering to something better.
I ask men to contemplate some questions, “Are you aware of how you hold on and hold back? What are you resisting letting go of in your life today so that you could create more space around and within you? What thoughts fill your mind? Do you tend to obsess on thoughts that just cause worry, nervousness and anxiety? On the level of your thinking mind do you find a great deal of resistance in the form of harsh judgments, discontent and mental projections? On the emotional level do you notice an undercurrent of unease, tension, boredom or nervousness? Both are aspects of the mind in its habitual resistance mode.
2. Refraining. I ask men to notice those times when a tiny negative thought enters their minds attracting other frustrations and irritations like a magnet? Picking up speed, their minds can become a whirlwind of chaos that ascends to a crescendo of fear, fury or depression. Anxiety and physical complaints can jump on board, causing unhappiness and hopelessness. The ego begins to play the victim, groveling in misery.
Fortunately, there is a way to stop this emotional churning. The practice of refraining comes into play when a man is either in conflict or in a situation where there could be problems or potential harm in what he is thinking and about to say. He then learns to take a deep breath, quiet himself, and get in touch with or listen for his deepest intention.
The intention behind one’s words is even more important even than the words that are said. One allows oneself to suspend what he might have blurted out and holds it up in his mind to discern what your intention is behind the thought and to ask if the expression of it is: a. Good for you b. Good for the recipient, and c. Will it hurt anyone?
The practice of refraining goes hand-in-hand with the practice of non-resistance or letting go. Knowing when to refrain and when to let go invites the teaching about not grasping and holding on and trying to control people.
3. Patience. Most men are in a big hurry today. They’re over-busy and lack enough time to get their tasks done, let alone to be able to rest, relax and recreate. They find it difficult to just wait, to allow things to come to them or to unfold in their own time. I encourage men to ask themselves: What causes me to become impatient with myself or with others? Is it when I’m trying to get to an appointment and am stalled in congested traffic? Can I wait comfortably for my meal to be served when the restaurant is crowded and my waiter is tending to many other patrons? How do I express my impatience with my wife when she’s running late?
The antidote for impatience is to stay focused on the now and not worry about the future, because the future, in fact, is just a series of incremental “nows.” A helpful Mindfulness meditation practice is to sit comfortably and place both hands palms open, facing up, resting on your thighs and just feel the breath as you inhale and exhale. Take some deep breaths and on your inhale say the mantra, I am patient, and on the exhale, I can wait. Performing this meditation for a few minutes can have the effect of making the wait seem shorter and less irritating, perhaps even pleasant.
4. Stillness. Stillness is crucial to mastering the path of Mindfulness because of the fact that only until a man is able to quiet the noise of his ego-thinking-mind will he be prepared to hear the still, quiet voice of his intuitive soul. By letting go into stillness, a man gives himself permission to slow down affording his nervous system a rest. When he allows himself to surrender to this extraordinary state of calmness, he creates the opportunity to de-stress and return to balance.
One way to approach silence as a spiritual practice is to remain in a listening mode during silent time. The still, small voice within might not arise in the form of words – it may come in an idea one had never thought of before, or in the image of something or someone. It may not even come during the period of silence but perhaps afterwards when one doesn’t expect it.
5. Solitude. What happens when one enters stillness and is silent for a long period of time? The outer noise goes first, and then the inner noise starts to evaporate. Soon, quiet reigns everywhere. Time slows to a crawl. Natural, external sounds become occasions for deeper listening and lead to a most profound inner calm.
In such moments as these, men sense the presence of something deep and true. They enter into their own fullness and are summoned to be more authentically alive. Somehow the worry and burdens of life drop away as they answer the call to spiritual solitude, to be quietly and intimately with oneself.
Sacred, contemplative time fosters an opportunity for expanded awareness. In this spaciousness of inward reflection, Mindful men pause from recounting their stories over and over and discover the freedom to live fully in the now, in the space of the present moment.
6. Discernment. It is important to comprehend the distinction between judgment as in condemnation and judgment as in discernment. The key to discernment is the union of the head, the logical part of us, with the heart, the feeling part of us. It’s when we have an opinion about what we’re observing and categorize it in harsh terms that we’ve entered the painful territory of the judgmental mind.
The process of discernment, when performed with an open heart, allows men to understand, and understanding is the bridge to compassion. For example, it is possible to discern that we have a preference for people who believe as we do without judging those who don’t. When we release the judgment habit, we don’t discontinue having preferences, we just let go of the tendency to apply negative labels to the things we don’t prefer. When we judge something or someone, we close off our capacity to learn. When we use wise discernment, we are open to learn and to grow.
We may not be able to control what lesson life has dealt us, but with the right practices at hand, we have an expanded ability to control how we respond to the challenge. The real opportunity for men today is how to find interior peace, compassion and wisdom within the heart of change as they engage with the exterior world while traversing a Mindful path.
I’ve worked as an educator and psychotherapist in private practice for 40 years. In the early days most of my clients were women. At the time we were in the budding phase of a women’s movement and in the midst of the Vietnam War. Women were entering therapy by the droves to plumb the depths of their souls and men were either being deployed to the jungles of Vietnam or heading for the hills to avoid the draft.
The combined forces of the war and the women’s movement drove the wedge deeper into an ever-widening generation and gender gap. Estranged from their fathers and distrustful of male authority figures, a generation of men essentially came to the realization that they were unrequited princes in a kingdom without sacred kings. Uninitiated men of any age still felt like boys in men’s bodies.
Unlike the women’s movement the leadership for evolving men did not emerge for another 15-20 years. But the time finally arrived in the mid-1980s for men to wake up and rise up from the bounds of boyhood and to assume the mantle of manhood. Men’s conferences sprung up around the country, led by elders like Robert Bly, James Hillman, Michael Meade and Robert Moore. Men were eager to discover what these mentors had to tell and show them about what it takes to become a consciously mature man.
I responded to an inner urging to bring good men together and bring out the best in them. In 1987 I launched the first Sacred Path Men’s Retreat, and founded the Men’s Center of Los Angeles in 1988. The Call To Adventure Rites of Passage Retreat for fathers and sons, boys and mentors emerged in 2000. The retreats over the past 23 years have served as Mindfulness based training camps for aspiring “Spiritual Warriors.”
I had noticed that most of the men tended to shift between states of ordinary consciousness that included lapses into semi-consciousness and deep unconsciousness. I found that men’s minds were full of too much unwanted stuff, and most of them were not able to turn their minds off naturally, freeing themselves from the constant chatter of unnecessary thoughts.
Initially, the men were not cognizant of what was referred to as Mindfulness or super-consciousness. I define Mindfulness as purposeful attention to what’s so in the present moment with relaxed presence and focused awareness devoid of critical judgment, as in condemnation, but rather utilizing wise judgment, as in discernment. I found that most individuals experience mind-filled-ness rather than Mindfulness. In fact, many just seem to be mindless rather than mindful these days.
During our states of ordinary consciousness, we often find ourselves overwrought with thought processes and emotions causing reactions, desires, projections and aversions. In this state we are run by our egoic minds and are unaware of simply Being in the present moment. When we are caught up in a perpetual state of doing, we are possessed by activity that is driven by compulsive and addictive behaviors.
In training men to live in a heightened state of Mindfulness, I have found it helpful to have them engage in certain meditative practices that concretize their experience making it real. I liken practices as useful tools in a toolbox that they can carry with them. Having the right tool for the task at hand can be most useful. Practices are like tools in that they are practical instruments for use in dealing with life’s challenges.
Mindfulness meditation can be performed with open eyes. It begins with an observation of one’s breath in its fullness, emanating in and out at the tip of the nose. Mindfulness Meditation is not transcendental, but rather allows one to be consciously aware in each waking moment, welcoming, accepting and integrating one’s external world with a relaxed and calm inner world.
At the retreats we teach men how to utilize the Mindful practices of:
1. Non-Resistance. Men are typically unconscious of their resistance to letting go and just going with the flow. I find that it’s difficult for men to let go or surrender to nothing. In the early stages of Mindfulness training men need to be able to let go to something else. So the training begins with how to identify what one is holding onto and why one is resisting letting go of it and surrendering to something better.
I ask men to contemplate some questions, “Are you aware of how you hold on and hold back? What are you resisting letting go of in your life today so that you could create more space around and within you? What thoughts fill your mind? Do you tend to obsess on thoughts that just cause worry, nervousness and anxiety? On the level of your thinking mind do you find a great deal of resistance in the form of harsh judgments, discontent and mental projections? On the emotional level do you notice an undercurrent of unease, tension, boredom or nervousness? Both are aspects of the mind in its habitual resistance mode.
2. Refraining. I ask men to notice those times when a tiny negative thought enters their minds attracting other frustrations and irritations like a magnet? Picking up speed, their minds can become a whirlwind of chaos that ascends to a crescendo of fear, fury or depression. Anxiety and physical complaints can jump on board, causing unhappiness and hopelessness. The ego begins to play the victim, groveling in misery.
Fortunately, there is a way to stop this emotional churning. The practice of refraining comes into play when a man is either in conflict or in a situation where there could be problems or potential harm in what he is thinking and about to say. He then learns to take a deep breath, quiet himself, and get in touch with or listen for his deepest intention.
The intention behind one’s words is even more important even than the words that are said. One allows oneself to suspend what he might have blurted out and holds it up in his mind to discern what your intention is behind the thought and to ask if the expression of it is: a. Good for you b. Good for the recipient, and c. Will it hurt anyone?
The practice of refraining goes hand-in-hand with the practice of non-resistance or letting go. Knowing when to refrain and when to let go invites the teaching about not grasping and holding on and trying to control people.
3. Patience. Most men are in a big hurry today. They’re over-busy and lack enough time to get their tasks done, let alone to be able to rest, relax and recreate. They find it difficult to just wait, to allow things to come to them or to unfold in their own time. I encourage men to ask themselves: What causes me to become impatient with myself or with others? Is it when I’m trying to get to an appointment and am stalled in congested traffic? Can I wait comfortably for my meal to be served when the restaurant is crowded and my waiter is tending to many other patrons? How do I express my impatience with my wife when she’s running late?
The antidote for impatience is to stay focused on the now and not worry about the future, because the future, in fact, is just a series of incremental “nows.” A helpful Mindfulness meditation practice is to sit comfortably and place both hands palms open, facing up, resting on your thighs and just feel the breath as you inhale and exhale. Take some deep breaths and on your inhale say the mantra, I am patient, and on the exhale, I can wait. Performing this meditation for a few minutes can have the effect of making the wait seem shorter and less irritating, perhaps even pleasant.
4. Stillness. Stillness is crucial to mastering the path of Mindfulness because of the fact that only until a man is able to quiet the noise of his ego-thinking-mind will he be prepared to hear the still, quiet voice of his intuitive soul. By letting go into stillness, a man gives himself permission to slow down affording his nervous system a rest. When he allows himself to surrender to this extraordinary state of calmness, he creates the opportunity to de-stress and return to balance.
One way to approach silence as a spiritual practice is to remain in a listening mode during silent time. The still, small voice within might not arise in the form of words – it may come in an idea one had never thought of before, or in the image of something or someone. It may not even come during the period of silence but perhaps afterwards when one doesn’t expect it.
5. Solitude. What happens when one enters stillness and is silent for a long period of time? The outer noise goes first, and then the inner noise starts to evaporate. Soon, quiet reigns everywhere. Time slows to a crawl. Natural, external sounds become occasions for deeper listening and lead to a most profound inner calm.
In such moments as these, men sense the presence of something deep and true. They enter into their own fullness and are summoned to be more authentically alive. Somehow the worry and burdens of life drop away as they answer the call to spiritual solitude, to be quietly and intimately with oneself.
Sacred, contemplative time fosters an opportunity for expanded awareness. In this spaciousness of inward reflection, Mindful men pause from recounting their stories over and over and discover the freedom to live fully in the now, in the space of the present moment.
6. Discernment. It is important to comprehend the distinction between judgment as in condemnation and judgment as in discernment. The key to discernment is the union of the head, the logical part of us, with the heart, the feeling part of us. It’s when we have an opinion about what we’re observing and categorize it in harsh terms that we’ve entered the painful territory of the judgmental mind.
The process of discernment, when performed with an open heart, allows men to understand, and understanding is the bridge to compassion. For example, it is possible to discern that we have a preference for people who believe as we do without judging those who don’t. When we release the judgment habit, we don’t discontinue having preferences, we just let go of the tendency to apply negative labels to the things we don’t prefer. When we judge something or someone, we close off our capacity to learn. When we use wise discernment, we are open to learn and to grow.
We may not be able to control what lesson life has dealt us, but with the right practices at hand, we have an expanded ability to control how we respond to the challenge. The real opportunity for men today is how to find interior peace, compassion and wisdom within the heart of change as they engage with the exterior world while traversing a Mindful path.
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