The next Sacred Path Mindfulness Practicum will take place on Saturday, July 18th at Holy Spirit Retreat Center.
To Download the flyer/application, click HERE
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Nick Rath: Ashes, Stones and Flowers
Revised by Nick Rath
For as long as humans have recorded history they have also beseeched God (by whatever name or image) for peace, an end to wars and rumors of wars. The wars have not ended. There have been brief pauses in the killing but the wars have gone on for thousands of years. I have a theory. As long as we depend on God to end wars and rumors of wars they will not end. Ending them is a part of our growing up process and we must do the work ourselves.
I have modified the litany as I received it to reflect my belief. If we live life to step closer to peace, love, harmony and we honor all those around us who have sacrificed for peace, love and harmony…
I believe we will be closer to having it all. Nick Rath
In Memory of All Victims of War and Terrorism: Ashes, Stones, and Flowers
For vibrant lives suddenly and shamelessly sacrificed, we lift up the ashes of our loss,
For the lives that continue, haunted forever by the pain of absence, we lift up the ashes of our remorse,
For the conflagration of flames and nightmare images forever seared into our memories, we lift up the ashes of our pain,
For the charred visions of peace and the dry taste of fear, we lift up the ashes of our grief,
For all the deaths that have been justified by turning the love of God or country into fanatical arrogance, we lift up the ashes of our shame,
As we cast these ashes into the troubled water of our times, hear our plea, all the children of our World, that by your power and focus they will make fertile the soil of our future and by your mercy nourish the seeds of peace.
The people recite the names of the dead.
For the ways humanity pursues violence rather than understanding, we lift up the stones of our anger,
For our addiction to weapons and the ways of militarism we lift up the stones of our fear,
[Litany by Rev. Patricia Pearce, pastor of Tabernacle United Church, Philadelphia, and Rabbi Arthur Waskow, director of The Shalom Center. A shorter version of this litany was originally written by Rev. Pearce for "Eleven Days in September," a project for peace-oriented observance of the first anniversary of 9/11 that was initiated by The Shalom Center in 2002. The litany was expanded and revised by Rabbi Waskow for Veterans Day 2003. This version was used by the National Council of Churches in Washington DC, Philadelphia, and elsewhere on Memorial Day, 2004, as part of the interfaith memorial services of grief, repentance, and transformation. The litany requires either actually standing at a running river or a lake, or if that is not feasible bringing a large basin of water into the center of a church, synagogue, mosque, or temple. It also requires having a list of names of people of various countries who have died and are dying as victims of war and terrorism. Blessings of shalom, salaam, peace]
For as long as humans have recorded history they have also beseeched God (by whatever name or image) for peace, an end to wars and rumors of wars. The wars have not ended. There have been brief pauses in the killing but the wars have gone on for thousands of years. I have a theory. As long as we depend on God to end wars and rumors of wars they will not end. Ending them is a part of our growing up process and we must do the work ourselves.
I have modified the litany as I received it to reflect my belief. If we live life to step closer to peace, love, harmony and we honor all those around us who have sacrificed for peace, love and harmony…
I believe we will be closer to having it all. Nick Rath
In Memory of All Victims of War and Terrorism: Ashes, Stones, and Flowers
For vibrant lives suddenly and shamelessly sacrificed, we lift up the ashes of our loss,
For the lives that continue, haunted forever by the pain of absence, we lift up the ashes of our remorse,
For the conflagration of flames and nightmare images forever seared into our memories, we lift up the ashes of our pain,
For the charred visions of peace and the dry taste of fear, we lift up the ashes of our grief,
For all the deaths that have been justified by turning the love of God or country into fanatical arrogance, we lift up the ashes of our shame,
As we cast these ashes into the troubled water of our times, hear our plea, all the children of our World, that by your power and focus they will make fertile the soil of our future and by your mercy nourish the seeds of peace.
The people recite the names of the dead.
The people cast the ashes in silence into the river [or a bowl of water].
For the ways humanity pursues violence rather than understanding, we lift up the stones of our anger,
For the ways we allow national, religious and ethnic boundaries to circumscribe our compassion, we lift up the stones of our hardness,
For our addiction to weapons and the ways of militarism we lift up the stones of our fear,
For the ways we cast blame and create enemies, we lift up the stones of our self-righteousness,
As we cast these stones into this ancient river, hear our plea: Just as water wears away the hardest of stones, so too may the power of our compassion soften the hardness of our hearts and draw us into a future of justice and peace.
The people recite the names of the dead.
The people cast the stones in silence into the river [or a bowl of water].
For sowing seeds of justice to blossom into harmony, we cast these flowers into the river,
For seeing clearly the many rainbow colors of humanity and earth, we cast these flowers into the river,
For calling us to life beyond our grieving, we cast these flowers into the river,
As we cast these flowers into this ancient river, hear our plea: Just as water births life in a desert and gives hope to the wounded, so too may the power of our nurturing renew our commitment to peace.
The people recite the names of the dead.
The people cast the flowers in silence into the river [or a bowl of water].
[Litany by Rev. Patricia Pearce, pastor of Tabernacle United Church, Philadelphia, and Rabbi Arthur Waskow, director of The Shalom Center. A shorter version of this litany was originally written by Rev. Pearce for "Eleven Days in September," a project for peace-oriented observance of the first anniversary of 9/11 that was initiated by The Shalom Center in 2002. The litany was expanded and revised by Rabbi Waskow for Veterans Day 2003. This version was used by the National Council of Churches in Washington DC, Philadelphia, and elsewhere on Memorial Day, 2004, as part of the interfaith memorial services of grief, repentance, and transformation. The litany requires either actually standing at a running river or a lake, or if that is not feasible bringing a large basin of water into the center of a church, synagogue, mosque, or temple. It also requires having a list of names of people of various countries who have died and are dying as victims of war and terrorism. Blessings of shalom, salaam, peace]
Herb Rubinstein on Assignment
As you can see, Herb Rubinstein, our staff photographer, videographer, and all-round good guy, is on a heavy assignment in the Yucatan. He may need our help, so give him a call!
Monday, May 4, 2009
Director's Message for May
May 1, 2009
Greetings,
The post-retreat consensus is that we hit one out of the park. By most accounts, the spring retreat was a huge success. We had about 75 in total that was comprised of a staff of 21, 17 youths from the inner city and their 5 mentors, 8 more boys that attended with their 9 fathers or mentors, and 15 additional men. We awarded approximately $15,500 in scholarships and received about $10,500 in donations so as you can see we had a shortfall of about $5,000. It’s not too late to make up the difference. If you know anyone or an organization that can make a contribution to our scholarship fund it would be greatly appreciated and much needed. Please contact us if you can assist in any way. $5,100 was donated in honor of Timothy “Whispering Eagle” Aguilar. Again, I wish to thank Matthew Burke, Ken Valach, Tom Couper, Phil Jennings, Steve Reynolds and Ross Avery for their generosity.
Due to Timothy’s absence the staff really stepped up to fill in the areas where his influence and presence were most felt. It was remarkable to see how many of the men spread their own wings to span the breadth of the program so that no holes were left gaping. For instance, Phil Jennings, an accomplished martial artist, conducted two breakout sessions for the Call to Adventure group and then held the space for the whole community on Saturday evening like a circus barker while Carl Woods spun fire around his body much to the amazement and enthusiasm of the audience. Jared Dichter and Steve Branker facilitated a lively basketball game on Saturday afternoon that concluded with a one-point difference in the score. Steve’s coaching expertise really came in handy as he crafted the game prep into an opportunity for team building, conflict resolution and sportsmanship. Philip Folsum and his men provided a safe and yet challenging ropes course on Friday. Andrew Soliz poured water for 4 separate sweat lodges and Charlie “Commando”, our fire keeper, shared his own brand of native wisdom. He himself is next in line to become chief of the Algonquin Indian tribe in Canada. Andrew will be leaving California at the end of May to travel back to the Pine Ridge Reservation in South Dakota to engage in another Umbleche (Vision Quest) and Sundance Ceremony during the month of July.
At the opening community gathering on Thursday evening I was filled with emotion as I lit the candle on the altar that we had created for Timothy. We had placed about a dozen pictures of him over the altar and then had positioned a beautiful carved wooden Eagle that John Maudsley had presented and a bowl containing a satchel holding some of Timothy’s ashes that Sherry Deluca had given to me. As I lit the candle, I looked up at the pictures and offered the gesture of “Welcome Home Brother” that has served as my greeting to participants at each of the retreats for many years. Timothy was always the last man that I would welcome home. This gesture on this night was particularly poignant as I considered that our brother has indeed gone home but has left us with a legacy that will continue to guide us forth. I was stunned by what followed. It is our tradition to invite individuals to come up and light a floating rose candle and place it in a basin of water as one dedicates it to the passing of a loved one in the past 6-12 months. I was awestruck as I observed all of the boys from South Central come up and light candles, often more than one, for someone who had died. Some of the boys had lost a family member, a brother, mother or father even within two weeks of the retreat. Many had lost loved ones through tragedy. Some of the boys contained their tears while placing the candles, but had to go outside to release the emotion. There were those that followed them to console and offer comfort. This spontaneous grief ritual went on for at least 90 minutes. Never before have we entered into such profound mourning on opening night.
Several men told me that they felt Timothy’s presence during the retreat. On Sunday morning I conducted the meditation at the outdoor chapel, the point where Timothy facilitated the meditation for so many years. As I spread the ashes around the perimeter of the chapel, all those present followed in a sacred procession. Timothy will always remain within our hearts and we will always be within his spirit as we meditate at the point.
I could speak volumes about each participant and what he accomplished, and yet for the sake of brevity I wish to express my admiration and respect for the high level of achievement that was committed by all. I also wish to acknowledge all of the men of the Wisdom Council that staffed this retreat for their loyalty, brilliant displays of creativity and ingenuity, enduring stamina, and most of all, their open hearted modeling of what it takes to be a good man in the face of whatever showed up.
There were many teachable moments during the 3+ days that we were in community together. Like life, there were high points and some low points, but all got dealt with in the spirit of loving brotherhood and were approached with an attitude that there was something to be learned and that good could arise from each challenge. We’re all so very pleased with the work of the young men. They interacted enthusiastically and made the most of the opportunities to enhance their mindfulness and character strength. They came away with a greater understanding of what it means to be a real man. We also commend Cameron, Marvo, Wiz, David and Mike, the Mentors from South Central, for their support of the boys and adding dimensionally to the success of this retreat.
Many have remarked that they returned as changed persons. I personally witnessed incredible and perhaps even some miraculous life-transforming events over the course of the weekend. We have posted below some of the comments from participants and we invite you to add yours on our Blog. We have also included a slideshow presentation from the retreat that Herb Rubinstein created for us. We’re planning a ceremony to present certificates of completion to the boys. We have not set the date as yet but know that it will take place on a Saturday at one of the parks in South Central LA. We’ll provide more information as the details are arranged.
Our next one-day event for men will take place at Holy Spirit Retreat Center on Saturday, July 18th. The next Sacred Path Men’s Retreat will be held October 22-25. Mark your calendars now to save the dates. The date for the next Mindfulness Practicum for women has been changed from May 23rd to Saturday, June 6th. We didn’t initially realize that the 23rd fell over Memorial Day weekend. It will be held at Holy Spirit Retreat Center. I’m once again looking forward to the opportunity to spend a day with the women on the Sacred Path. You will find a registration form below.
Wishing you many blessings,
Stephen Johnson
Greetings,
The post-retreat consensus is that we hit one out of the park. By most accounts, the spring retreat was a huge success. We had about 75 in total that was comprised of a staff of 21, 17 youths from the inner city and their 5 mentors, 8 more boys that attended with their 9 fathers or mentors, and 15 additional men. We awarded approximately $15,500 in scholarships and received about $10,500 in donations so as you can see we had a shortfall of about $5,000. It’s not too late to make up the difference. If you know anyone or an organization that can make a contribution to our scholarship fund it would be greatly appreciated and much needed. Please contact us if you can assist in any way. $5,100 was donated in honor of Timothy “Whispering Eagle” Aguilar. Again, I wish to thank Matthew Burke, Ken Valach, Tom Couper, Phil Jennings, Steve Reynolds and Ross Avery for their generosity.
Due to Timothy’s absence the staff really stepped up to fill in the areas where his influence and presence were most felt. It was remarkable to see how many of the men spread their own wings to span the breadth of the program so that no holes were left gaping. For instance, Phil Jennings, an accomplished martial artist, conducted two breakout sessions for the Call to Adventure group and then held the space for the whole community on Saturday evening like a circus barker while Carl Woods spun fire around his body much to the amazement and enthusiasm of the audience. Jared Dichter and Steve Branker facilitated a lively basketball game on Saturday afternoon that concluded with a one-point difference in the score. Steve’s coaching expertise really came in handy as he crafted the game prep into an opportunity for team building, conflict resolution and sportsmanship. Philip Folsum and his men provided a safe and yet challenging ropes course on Friday. Andrew Soliz poured water for 4 separate sweat lodges and Charlie “Commando”, our fire keeper, shared his own brand of native wisdom. He himself is next in line to become chief of the Algonquin Indian tribe in Canada. Andrew will be leaving California at the end of May to travel back to the Pine Ridge Reservation in South Dakota to engage in another Umbleche (Vision Quest) and Sundance Ceremony during the month of July.
At the opening community gathering on Thursday evening I was filled with emotion as I lit the candle on the altar that we had created for Timothy. We had placed about a dozen pictures of him over the altar and then had positioned a beautiful carved wooden Eagle that John Maudsley had presented and a bowl containing a satchel holding some of Timothy’s ashes that Sherry Deluca had given to me. As I lit the candle, I looked up at the pictures and offered the gesture of “Welcome Home Brother” that has served as my greeting to participants at each of the retreats for many years. Timothy was always the last man that I would welcome home. This gesture on this night was particularly poignant as I considered that our brother has indeed gone home but has left us with a legacy that will continue to guide us forth. I was stunned by what followed. It is our tradition to invite individuals to come up and light a floating rose candle and place it in a basin of water as one dedicates it to the passing of a loved one in the past 6-12 months. I was awestruck as I observed all of the boys from South Central come up and light candles, often more than one, for someone who had died. Some of the boys had lost a family member, a brother, mother or father even within two weeks of the retreat. Many had lost loved ones through tragedy. Some of the boys contained their tears while placing the candles, but had to go outside to release the emotion. There were those that followed them to console and offer comfort. This spontaneous grief ritual went on for at least 90 minutes. Never before have we entered into such profound mourning on opening night.
Several men told me that they felt Timothy’s presence during the retreat. On Sunday morning I conducted the meditation at the outdoor chapel, the point where Timothy facilitated the meditation for so many years. As I spread the ashes around the perimeter of the chapel, all those present followed in a sacred procession. Timothy will always remain within our hearts and we will always be within his spirit as we meditate at the point.
I could speak volumes about each participant and what he accomplished, and yet for the sake of brevity I wish to express my admiration and respect for the high level of achievement that was committed by all. I also wish to acknowledge all of the men of the Wisdom Council that staffed this retreat for their loyalty, brilliant displays of creativity and ingenuity, enduring stamina, and most of all, their open hearted modeling of what it takes to be a good man in the face of whatever showed up.
There were many teachable moments during the 3+ days that we were in community together. Like life, there were high points and some low points, but all got dealt with in the spirit of loving brotherhood and were approached with an attitude that there was something to be learned and that good could arise from each challenge. We’re all so very pleased with the work of the young men. They interacted enthusiastically and made the most of the opportunities to enhance their mindfulness and character strength. They came away with a greater understanding of what it means to be a real man. We also commend Cameron, Marvo, Wiz, David and Mike, the Mentors from South Central, for their support of the boys and adding dimensionally to the success of this retreat.
Many have remarked that they returned as changed persons. I personally witnessed incredible and perhaps even some miraculous life-transforming events over the course of the weekend. We have posted below some of the comments from participants and we invite you to add yours on our Blog. We have also included a slideshow presentation from the retreat that Herb Rubinstein created for us. We’re planning a ceremony to present certificates of completion to the boys. We have not set the date as yet but know that it will take place on a Saturday at one of the parks in South Central LA. We’ll provide more information as the details are arranged.
Our next one-day event for men will take place at Holy Spirit Retreat Center on Saturday, July 18th. The next Sacred Path Men’s Retreat will be held October 22-25. Mark your calendars now to save the dates. The date for the next Mindfulness Practicum for women has been changed from May 23rd to Saturday, June 6th. We didn’t initially realize that the 23rd fell over Memorial Day weekend. It will be held at Holy Spirit Retreat Center. I’m once again looking forward to the opportunity to spend a day with the women on the Sacred Path. You will find a registration form below.
Wishing you many blessings,
Stephen Johnson
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Impressions of the Spring Retreat by Participants and Staff
Hello My Brothers:
I returned from my first Sacred Path/Call To Adventure retreat one week ago, and haven’t stopped thinking about my experience since. I resisted, for nearly four years, attending a “men’s spiritual retreat” for myriad reasons. I couldn’t possibly be away from my family for an entire precious weekend. I didn’t find the thought of three days around a bunch of “touchy feely men” particularly appealing. I need my own bed and private space. I don’t like to be in situations where I have to meet new people. I’m neither athletic nor coordinated. And on and on I kept telling myself no.
But this year, as a step on my path to self-discovery and spiritual enlightenment, I decided to put my fears and excuses behind me. Arriving at the Hilltop camp on Thursday afternoon, I proceeded to assign myself to a cabin that at the time had no one else in it. Great, I can isolate and have some privacy…I thought. But no….the forces of the universe were not going to let me get away with my typical “safe” choices. My cabin mates or “tribe” soon were comprised of seven teenaged young African-American men from South LA. I quickly resisted, telling myself that this wasn’t going to work for me. After all, I came to commune with other like-minded adult men. But then, the first of many shifts in my consciousness occurred. I quieted my thoughts long enough to hear my inner voice, which told me that there was a reason I was put into this circumstance…there was something that I needed to learn from this experience. Transformation occurred and I spent the rest of the weekend rejoicing in the profoundly rewarding and emotionally moving experience of sharing that space with these young men.
This set the stage for a weekend that was ALL about breakthroughs. Breakthroughs in my own limiting beliefs about what physical challenges I am capable of, whom I can relate to and trust, and perhaps most importantly, what I am able to give back. There were ample opportunities over the three days for me to trust other men…and for other men to trust me. The ropes course and sweat lodge required me to be my most trusting...but also for me to be trustworthy.
There were so many moving moments. The heartfelt sharing that men, young and old, offered during the candle-lit community time as well as in the darkness of the sweat lodge. The profound dignity in Andrew Soliz sharing his native customs and practices was unforgettable. Witnessing others and then experiencing for myself the feelings of adrenaline and accomplishment of the ropes course. Watching young men declare to themselves to leave behind that which limits them, and then cross the symbolic bridge to manhood…and then taking those same steps myself was exhilarating beyond words. Over the entire weekend I kept noticing how much I was feeling. I have never felt my feelings so much. All my emotions were literally in my throat, ready to come up and out……rather than remaining pushed deep inside my being. By Sunday, I felt tired and drained but also alive and vital like I never have.
I thank Dr. Stephen Johnson for continuing to encourage me to attend retreat for all these years and I thank Dr. J and all the other men on staff for creating a sacred environment and series of events that truly opened my heart to acceptance, communication and a renewed belief that I actually can find my true purpose in life.
Sterling Meredith
* * *
Charlie Lagola
* * *
Dear Brother Steve B. & Dr. J,
I wish to state that this was the best retreat I've been a part of. All of our youths seemed to take something home with them. I ran into a few of the boys and everyone can't wait for our next event.
I wish to ask that we hold a ceremony at the park in their honor as we reward them in front of their parents, families and friends. Every kid I've come across looks different now.
Please let the brothers know we are so thankful for all of their help. We know it wasn't easy dealing with so many inner city kids but I can tell you from my heart that this group will never forget the guys. Please let them know the young men say thank you for giving them a chance to learn to be better men.
Your retreat is such a powerful blessing. Please know that even Marvo felt the energy as we arrived home.
Yes, we should have a day to say good job to the young men who attended. I'm working on building a team of men who will join the team and do the work needing to be done once the young men come off the hill.
I'm so honored to know you and have you as a brother. I feel the hope in my community due to lessons I've learned from you and the men. Wiz feels grateful to have been able to be a part of the retreat and he now has the power to ensure C.U.R.E. and A Better LA are involved.
I had a wonderful talk with coach Carroll''s daughter the other day. We talked for 30 minutes about the retreat and the desire to do more. She will become a strong voice for us soon. Lets find a date to honor the young men and invite coach and all those who we feel need to see this in action. Idea! Why not Mothers Day? Or the day before? What better gift then to have moms see their sons honored for learning to be men. Let me know what you think.
Please know that I'm working hard to find a way to say "thank you" to the Men's Center family for giving inner city children hope. Dr. J, your program is giving kids a better vision of life. Now our kids know what real men look like. Now our kids know that real men can cry, hug, argue, and forgive. Our kids were able to learn first hand that Grown Boys talk about it... and Grown Men get it done!
I'll contact the parks people to get dates. I'm so impressed by the kids who went to this year’s retreat. Each one has shown me they understand the mission. I see hope in eyes that once seemed blank. I'm now seeking men to join me in the park for monthly meetings where we build trust and respect for each other.
I see so much good going on now. I feel hope now. In the coming months I pledge to keep the spirit of the retreat going.
Don't put to much stress on yourself. Your family needs you and we will work around whatever dates we can get that allow us all to be there.
Again, thank you for sharing such a blessing with our youth. Soon it's gonna be hard for those who suffer from hopelessness to deny that your program works.
In closing, I thank Wiz and the .C.U.R.E. family for paying for the transportation to and from the mountain. Bless everyone who made it possible for so many kids to experience such a wonderful event.
Much Love and Respect,
Cameron Bonner
June 6 Sacred Path Practicum for Women
Sacred Path Productions
Presents
The Mindfulness Practicum – A Day for Women
With
Dr. Stephen J. Johnson, Ph.D.
Saturday, June 6, 2009, from 8:30 am to 4:30 pm
Holy Spirit Retreat Center
4316 Lanai Road, Encino
For over 35 years, Dr. Stephen Johnson has been bringing out the best in people. In 1976 he co-founded The Center for Holistic Psychology in Beverly Hills. The early 1980’s saw the creation of Blueprint For Life Seminars for men and women and in 1984 he co-founded the H.E.A.R.T.S.WORK retreats also for men and women. In 1987 he was inspired to direct his attention to men’s work and created the Sacred Path Men’s Retreat and founded the Men’s Center Los Angeles in 1988. For the past 20 years he has focused his work largely on men and their relationships. Now it is once again the time to give back to women. This is your opportunity to participate in a life enhancing experience with Stephen and his staff. As one who is committed to living a conscious life, you are invited to attend this Practicum on the Spiritual Psychology of Mindfulness.
In this challenging time it’s helpful to surround oneself with likeminded people seeking the solace and comfort within the understanding and compassion that connects our hearts and opens our minds to new ways of dealing with life’s lessons. In November a group of women gathered for a day devoted to that endeavor. Safety, sincerity and the spirit of sisterhood flourished in an atmosphere conducive for deep work. At the end of the day the question was unanimously posed, “When can we do this again?” May 23rd is the day that has been set aside for a select group of women to join Stephen and three of the men from the Wisdom Council that facilitate the workshops and retreats for men on the Sacred Path. You are invited to be a part of this group. Explore, share, meditate and breathe deeply together during a day designed to replace the stress of doing with the lightness of being.
In 1974, while a Doctoral Fellow in Rehabilitation Psychology at the University of Southern California, Stephen published his research on the Benefits of Yoga Therapy on Self-Concept, Conflict Resolution and Emotional Adjustment. He went on to study a post-doctoral curriculum for four years at the National Academy of Metaphysics and was one of a group of individuals assisting Leonard Orr during his pioneering work with the powerful breathing process called Rebirthing. This became the foundation for the blending of spirituality and psychology that has been at the heart of Stephen’s personal evolvement and his professional practice as a psychotherapist and educator.
Space is limited; enrollments will be accepted on a first come basis; please enroll early to reserve your spot.
The fee for the Practicum is $150.00, which covers program, lunch, morning and afternoon snacks. Checks should be made to the order of Sacred Path Productions, Inc. and should be mailed with the completed registration form to:
Men’s Center Los Angeles, 21243 Ventura Blvd., Suite 214, Woodland Hills, CA 91364
Applications with credit card information can be faxed to (818) 348-9302.
For reservations, call Rich Manners at 818-888-8852 or e-mail: jyngleman@sbcglobal.net
Please put “Practicum” in the subject of your e-mail.
Enrollment fee refunded minus $25 processing fee if cancellation is made on or before Friday, May 29th.
To download the flyer/application for the Women's Practicum, click HERE
The Purpose of Boys - A New Book by Michael Gurian
Helping Our Sons Find Meaning,
Significance, And Direction In Their Lives
“I believe every boy wants to find his purpose in life. We cannot walk the road for him every step of the way, but we must at least bring him to it and help point him in the right direction. This book is devoted to that adventure - for ultimately, I believe, we are each called to the practical task of helping one boy at a time awaken, direct, and animate his inborn and natural call to be fully human.”
- Michael Gurian, from THE PURPOSE OF BOYS
In THE PURPOSE OF BOYS, the final installment of his groundbreaking boys trilogy, Michael Gurian explains that there has been a significant shift in the development of male purpose in America – boys no longer understand what their social roles should be, and communities, families, and schools don’t understand how to give them the direction they need.
“As an advocate for boys,” he explains, “I see a world in which boys are asking us every day, and mainly through their actions, ‘What is the purpose of boys?’, and for the most part, our culture is answering, ‘We don’t know.’ This is not an ideal situation, neither for male development nor human development. THE PURPOSE OF BOYS is about finding a better answer to that question.”
THE PURPOSE OF BOYS discusses the numerous causes for the collapse of male purpose development in America. In the past, young men learned strategies for success through the efforts of their parents, grandparents, faith communities, and role development within their culture. According to Michael Gurian, all of these formerly positive influences are breaking down, and a perfect storm is brewing in the culture of boyhood: males don’t know what their social roles should be, families are deteriorating around them, and communities and schools don’t understand boys’ natural needs.
Gurian attempts to remedy this breakdown in THE PURPOSE OF BOYS by giving parents a clear map for guiding their sons through childhood and young adulthood, tackling such issues as the roles of status, respect, and social rejection in adolescent male development; the importance of teaching boys about sexuality in a way that is values-oriented and purposeful; the unique struggles that boys from different racial and socioeconomic backgrounds face;
the dangers of overexposure to electronic media for all boys; and the critical function of education in a boy’s life, including suggestions for matching a school’s teaching style to the male brain. Gurian also provides a detailed rite of passage program for early to mid-adolescent boys, which can be used by families and communities to guide boys through the confusing transition from boyhood to manhood.
Based on the latest scientific research regarding how boys develop neurologically, THE
PURPOSE OF BOYS offers an understanding of what is happening inside a boy’s brain as
he grows up, from birth through early adulthood. For each stage of development, Gurian shares anecdotes and solutions from parents, successful childrearing techniques from other cultures, and proven strategies for guiding boys on their personal paths toward building purposeful lives. He includes information about the biological realities of male development, as well as questions to ask and levels of support to offer based on individual levels of maturity. Each chapter closes with suggested “Questions of Purpose” that parents can ask
their sons to gain a better understanding of their natural talents, strengths, weaknesses,
fears, and goals so that they are better equipped to guide them on their journeys.
In this final book of his revolutionary program for molding happy and successful boys, Michael Gurian identifies the causes and dangers of the loss of purpose in American boyhood. He offers clear, practical solutions for building motivation, character, and personal responsibility, providing parents, teachers, and communities with an in-depth tool kit for shaping the men of the future.
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