Greetings, Sacred Path Community,
As we turn our attention to the holidays, we need to wind our way through the hectic activities that comprise the stress-filled world as we connect with the true meaning of the season. This is a time that we especially need to go within and draw upon Spirit for energy, equanimity and guidance. As we light the candles in our homes and places of worship, let’s also remember that we are called on to be lights unto the world radiating peace, love and joy.
Jesus and other great sages spoke of an Inner Light. Jesus said, “I am the light and the way,” and went on to remind us to “let our light shine before others.” We speak of light in spiritual circles and of holding people in the light. We talk about seeing the light in each other when we greet one another with “Namaste,” meaning the light in me sees the light in you.
We are encouraged to rise up and express our higher self that knows its oneness with God presence, or the “inner light,” and to radiate that presence to others. Bringing our luminous nature into greater visibility requires awareness, focus and intention. In fact, becoming luminous beings involves the same intentionality that Jesus utilized through his teachings and acts of kindness. The light of divine presence that can illumine our lives can radiate outward to heal, comfort and bless the world.
As members of a spiritual community, we assist and support one another to stay on the Path and be on purpose. No one brings light into darkness without purposefulness and intentionality. Healing energy can’t flow through us until a way has been made clear for it by removing obstructions and opening our hearts and minds through practice. The more disciplined we are and the more we practice, the more liberated we become. As we cultivate experiential wisdom through sitting in silence, learning to monitor our thoughts, focusing on kindness, we find that our intuition grows stronger and clearer.
Through consistent spiritual practice we become more transparent, clarifying the dense emotional energy pollution that accumulates. Through meditation practice we can remove the dullness of negative thinking and transform the dread and worry that comprise a depressed and anxious mood. The more we practice spiritual purification through connecting with the elements of earth, air, water and fire, the clearer we become and the more our inner light can shine through us.
I am inviting 20 men to participate with me in a practicum at Holy Spirit Retreat Center on Saturday, February 18th, focused on the topic of developing your intuitive knowing through the cultivation of experiential wisdom. During this day we will work with Mindfulness practices including meditation and sacred breath work to clear your energy field and enhance greater luminosity. You can read more about this event in this newsletter and register to reserve your spot.
Mark your calendars for the 25th Annual Spring Sacred Path Call to Adventure Rites of Passage Retreat, April 12-15. This retreat will welcome fathers and sons, uncles and nephews, grandfathers, mentors and young men wanting to be in the presence of good men. We will create a profound experience as we provide some initiation of the younger men into conscious manhood. Our 25th Annual Fall Sacred Path Men’s Retreat will commence on Thursday, October 18 through Sunday, the 21st.
We’re bringing Leonard Orr back in June for an evening presentation on Friday the 8th, followed by a workshop on Saturday for those wanting to deepen their Conscious Breathing experience, and then an event on Sunday for those that simply want to go through the process. We had 50 in attendance last June, and many are working with the recommendations that Leonard offered for making spiritual purification an important part of one’s life.
The counseling field has dwindled with fewer men choosing to become therapists, and males in general resisting entering therapy. Similar to the educational system in this country, the field of therapy often doesn’t seem to be geared to help men in the ways men relate to being helped. That’s why I founded MCLA and the Sacred Path community with the intent of offering men an opportunity to get what they need in a user-friendly environment. Author and educator Michael Gurian has just published another book titled How Can I Help Him. Michael is a long time friend and author of approximately 30 books about men and gender. His latest book is designed to explore and reveal ways to help men and boys develop, grow and work through the issues that tend to plague us. I recommend this book to you and encourage you to consider this as a great holiday gift for anyone interested in helping males become better men. You can read more about this book and find the link with which to order it in this issue.
In the spirit of the season, the Sacred Path Wisdom Council and I are wishing you and your loved ones a very Happy Hanukah, a Merry Christmas and a blessed New Year.
Namaste,
Stephen
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Special Event for Men with Stephen Johnson on Saturday, February 18th
How are you dealing with the stresses of life these days? Do you get enough sleep, relaxation and rest? Are your nerves constantly on edge and jangled? In terms of your mood, are you depressed and anxious? Do you feel irritable and tend to snap at people? Do you awaken not ready for prime time wishing you could spend the day in bed? If you answered yes to any of these questions, consider that you’re fully human and a charter member of the majority of humanity that feels plagued by the pressures and duress of trying to keep up with the fast and frenetic pace of life today.
Here’s another question: Would you like to feel more in control, more at ease and lighter with a brighter outlook? The answer may seem obvious, yet as clear as the answer is, the mechanism to attain it isn’t necessarily so evident. Consider this: we may not always be able to control what occurs in our life and what happens to us, but we can learn how to exert greater control over how we react to it.
Mindfulness training provides the strategies and practices with which to weatherproof your life as well as maintain and sustain greater balance, equanimity and serenity. Being able to ride the daily ups and downs without being thrown makes living much less effortful. Setting the worries aside while dealing with your concerns in a discerning manner supports your capacity for taking skillful actions and manifesting resourceful outcomes. Calming the nervous system and attaining a centered presence allows for poise, focused awareness and clarity to reign supreme. This is the mechanism upon which our soulful intuition rises to the surface, guiding us to be our personal best.
Mindfulness training is based on age-old wisdom principals. You can think of it as a blueprint that lays out the structure for crafting your lifestyle to fit your own unique design. The elements tend to rearrange and fall into place when we sit quietly in stillness and silence and allow the inner voice of our deepest intuition to speak to us. Learning how to incorporate Mindfulness meditation into a daily practice can go a long way in providing the context with which energy moves into place. Learning how to breathe effectively in order to clean and balance our energy body strengthens our life urge and nurtures the revitalization of our cells. Energy becomes what we think, and thought is a divine creative force that has power and potential for great change mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually.
I am inviting 20 men to participate in a day of reflection, introspection and authentic self-examination of the blueprint underlying the foundation and structure of the lives that we’re living. During the time together we’ll explore Mindfulness strategies and learn useful spiritual purification practices involving the key elements of earth, air, water, fire and ether. You’ll have the opportunity to develop the powers of intuition through cultivating the deep experiential wisdom imbued with divine creativity and universal intelligence. During the event you’ll engage in experiences that are transformative and you’ll carry away the framework of a technology that is practical, useful and applicable on a daily basis. I invite you to be one of the men that will gather for this practicum.
To download the flyer/application, click HERE
Here’s another question: Would you like to feel more in control, more at ease and lighter with a brighter outlook? The answer may seem obvious, yet as clear as the answer is, the mechanism to attain it isn’t necessarily so evident. Consider this: we may not always be able to control what occurs in our life and what happens to us, but we can learn how to exert greater control over how we react to it.
Mindfulness training provides the strategies and practices with which to weatherproof your life as well as maintain and sustain greater balance, equanimity and serenity. Being able to ride the daily ups and downs without being thrown makes living much less effortful. Setting the worries aside while dealing with your concerns in a discerning manner supports your capacity for taking skillful actions and manifesting resourceful outcomes. Calming the nervous system and attaining a centered presence allows for poise, focused awareness and clarity to reign supreme. This is the mechanism upon which our soulful intuition rises to the surface, guiding us to be our personal best.
Mindfulness training is based on age-old wisdom principals. You can think of it as a blueprint that lays out the structure for crafting your lifestyle to fit your own unique design. The elements tend to rearrange and fall into place when we sit quietly in stillness and silence and allow the inner voice of our deepest intuition to speak to us. Learning how to incorporate Mindfulness meditation into a daily practice can go a long way in providing the context with which energy moves into place. Learning how to breathe effectively in order to clean and balance our energy body strengthens our life urge and nurtures the revitalization of our cells. Energy becomes what we think, and thought is a divine creative force that has power and potential for great change mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually.
I am inviting 20 men to participate in a day of reflection, introspection and authentic self-examination of the blueprint underlying the foundation and structure of the lives that we’re living. During the time together we’ll explore Mindfulness strategies and learn useful spiritual purification practices involving the key elements of earth, air, water, fire and ether. You’ll have the opportunity to develop the powers of intuition through cultivating the deep experiential wisdom imbued with divine creativity and universal intelligence. During the event you’ll engage in experiences that are transformative and you’ll carry away the framework of a technology that is practical, useful and applicable on a daily basis. I invite you to be one of the men that will gather for this practicum.
To download the flyer/application, click HERE
Paulo Mattioli: December 31, 1969 - October 22, 2011
In 1987 I facilitated the first one-day Sacred Path Men’s Retreat in a silver geodesic dome house owned by Jerry Weinerth situated high atop Topanga Canyon overlooking the ocean. I initially positioned these one-day events for men about every 3 months. Sam Slonaker, Drummer and Rebirther, stepped up to assist me, and then others offered to help. I had also heard about an amazing drummer that lived in San Diego by the name of Paulo Mattioli. I connected with him and invited him to come up and lead a drum circle at one of my events.Paulo had a wild mane of hair and a hugely radiant and magnetic personality. Our first meeting created a bond that would last for many years. I met dancer Riccardo Morrison at my first Mendocino Men’s Retreat featuring Robert Bly and Michael Meade. I invited Riccardo to participate in one of our retreats. Paulo and Riccardo held the beat and the movement for the Sacred Path Retreats as they expanded from the one-day events up at Jerry’s to two-day, then three-day retreats held at Camp Shalom, Camp Griffo, Cotton Tail, Hess Kramer and finally Gindling Hilltop.
As Paulo’s and Riccardo’s careers took off, requiring more extensive travel and commitments to perform, their presence at the Sacred Path events began to dwindle. We said goodbye to them and welcomed Christo Pellani and Fred Sugerman aboard to head up the drumming and movement. I haven’t seen or spoken to Paulo or Riccardo in years but knew that Paulo remained quite busy as his star was rising. You can read below what Christo has written about Paulo’s phenomenal talent and career.
At the last retreat, Christo asked me on Saturday if I had heard that Paulo was ill and had apparently been undergoing treatment for brain cancer. I had not heard anything about it and he said he would check it out and thought maybe it was a rumor. On Monday, following the retreat, Christo called to say that he just found out that Paulo had died on Sunday. We were stunned and saddened to hear the news.
Paulo was so vibrant and alive that it’s hard to conceive of someone so full of life being taken from us in the prime of his life. I went to his web site and reviewed his accomplishments over the years and looked at his pictures. We have lost another remarkable man, a true spiritual warrior. Like Timothy, Conrad, Walter and others that have touched our lives and left their own legacies with Sacred Path, Paulo was among the best. Even though our paths had not crossed in years, I had looked forward to sitting with him again and catching each other up on all that has transpired over the years. I will miss this opportunity, and yet he will live on in my heart and I’m sure within the hearts of those that knew him. Paulo radiated such vitality, love and passion.
Rest in peace, brother.
Stephen Johnson
~~~~~~~
He was my friend and rhythm culture brother and colleague. I first met Paulo in 1992 taking a group drumming class, and I bought my first rope-tuned djembe from him. We trained together for the REMO Health Rhythms drum circle facilitation program, and we hung out in Topanga, swapped stories of growing up in Italian families, and played together on numerous occasions. We met up at the Sacred Path Retreats, and worked together for three retreats, cooking up the drumming activities for the community. I am fortunate to have had those powerful experiences drumming next to him, and to have inherited the community-drumming mantle for Sacred Path from him.
Paulo was a passionate and personable guy. He was one of the most well known, influential, and charismatic hand drummers in the nation.
He was an active drum teacher and facilitator who led Rhythm Journey drumming and dance workshops across the United States, Europe, Asia, Australia and Mexico.
He graduated with honors and held a degree in music, communications and visual arts from the University of San Diego. He also received a U.S. scholarship for his research in the use of drumming for communication within West African culture.
Paulo was the musical director of "Mystique D'Afrique," a West African drum and dance ensemble, and performed with artists such as Kenny Loggins, Sting, and Babatunde Olatunji as well as many others.
He was a REMO signature artist; designer of unique quality djembe drums, and authored the top rated instructional video series, "Hands-on Drumming".
Paulo also offered holistic services like drum meditations, Watsu and Waterdance and was a certified massage therapist, specializing in Sensate Shiatsu, a healing art which combined rhythmic massage with sound healing.
He was the creator of “FitRhythms”, an exercise program that combined the mind/body benefits of group drumming with aerobic movement.
Paulo was a leader and inspiration to a whole lot of drummers He will be remembered, honored, missed, and admired for his unique contribution to the modern rhythm culture as a true ambassador of the drum, and for his dedication to promoting community, creativity and global consciousness.
RIP, brother Paulo.
Christo Pellani
~~~~~~~
Hi Steve:
I was very sorry to hear about Paulo. He was such a happy and uplifting spirit. I’ll always remember that retreat when he was telling the story of being the only White guy drumming and dancing in the midst of a tribe of Africans IN AFRICA!!! I laugh out loud every time I think of the blind man in our group (Michael Tapia) surprised to realize that Paulo was not Black!!
Paulo had so much soul. I’m so grateful I got to know him and am a better person thanks to having him in my life. I went to the first retreat he put on solo in Hawaii. It was interesting. He tried to do it all – Drum Leader, Dance Leader and the Awareness Leader. What a stretch. I remember feeling uncomfortable with all he was taking on and rather than throwing myself into lots of group participation I wandered away from camp seeking loneliness and solitude.
Absolutely, I will be there for the 25th annual retreat in October. As soon as I hear the dates, they will be in my calendar. And I’ll commit to coming every five years forever long you find the energy to keep it going ☺. I’ve experienced so many wonderful people thanks to the space you’ve created -- now over a generation of time. My life is so rich and blessed now and I don’t even want to imagine what it would have been like if I didn’t find my way on your Sacred Path. If only, I could find the way to get my sons there.
Best wishes to you and your family for a very joyous holiday season and continued extraordinary new years.
Love to you,
Jay Berger
I was very sorry to hear about Paulo. He was such a happy and uplifting spirit. I’ll always remember that retreat when he was telling the story of being the only White guy drumming and dancing in the midst of a tribe of Africans IN AFRICA!!! I laugh out loud every time I think of the blind man in our group (Michael Tapia) surprised to realize that Paulo was not Black!!
Paulo had so much soul. I’m so grateful I got to know him and am a better person thanks to having him in my life. I went to the first retreat he put on solo in Hawaii. It was interesting. He tried to do it all – Drum Leader, Dance Leader and the Awareness Leader. What a stretch. I remember feeling uncomfortable with all he was taking on and rather than throwing myself into lots of group participation I wandered away from camp seeking loneliness and solitude.
Absolutely, I will be there for the 25th annual retreat in October. As soon as I hear the dates, they will be in my calendar. And I’ll commit to coming every five years forever long you find the energy to keep it going ☺. I’ve experienced so many wonderful people thanks to the space you’ve created -- now over a generation of time. My life is so rich and blessed now and I don’t even want to imagine what it would have been like if I didn’t find my way on your Sacred Path. If only, I could find the way to get my sons there.
Best wishes to you and your family for a very joyous holiday season and continued extraordinary new years.
Love to you,
Jay Berger
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Dr. Stephen Johnson: Men in the Counseling Room
On September 11, 2011, Stephen J. Johnson, Ph.D, MFT, founder and director of the Men’s Center of Los Angeles and creator of the Sacred Path Men’s Retreat, spoke to the SFVCAMFT Membership on “Males in the Counseling Room: Helping Guys Become Good Men.” He started with a moment of silence to acknowledge the 10th anniversary of 9/11, our national loss. Johnson mentioned the heroic men who gave their lives at the World Trade Center , saying that too often we hear only negative things about men, such as when they get into trouble. He went on to present a thorough, well-researched talk on the history of men and masculinity, their pressures and differences culturally, their socialization process, and some suggestions for both male and female therapists to help them achieve the best results working with male clients.
When Dr. Johnson was first licensed in 1972, it was during the Vietnam War, in which 57,000 men and 8 women died. The men who returned home weren’t celebrated as returning soldiers as they had been after World War II. Instead, they came back to anti-war protests and the feminist movement, told they should stop being war-like, get in touch with their innermost feelings, learn how to commit to relationships, share in housework, be nurturing to the children, curb aggression and violence, and integrate their sexuality with love. When men began to do these things and started becoming more passive, the women didn’t like that either. For men, it was a really confusing time. Not surprisingly, there was an increase in the divorce rate in the 1970’s, along with such self-destructive behaviors as addiction.
At that time, it was the women who began entering therapy in droves; but men did not. Psychotherapy, as traditionally practiced, didn’t serve these men well—and still doesn’t.
Men’s thinking has always been, “I can handle it (the “sturdy oak” approach to dealing with the problem).” They havedifficulty recognizing their feelings and expressing them (a
phenomenon termed alexithymia). Historically, men who have shared their feelings in public have been ridiculed, or dismissed as being weak, men such as Maine Senator and presidential candidate Ed Muskie in ‘68 and Missouri Senator Thomas Eagleton, who was dropped from the number two slot on the 1972 democratic ticket after admitting they he’d been treated for depression.
When some men tried to create a men’s movement to balance out the women’s movement and deal with some of their conflicts and issues, they, too, were ridiculed – especially for attending men’s retreats and “beating their chests in the woods.” The result: Men fled. But Johnson stayed put and continued on with his work with men, knowing how much they needed and wanted to better understand themselves.
Dr. Johnson remarked that we’ve made some progress as witnessed by how men like Speaker of the House, John Boehner, quarterback Terry Bradshaw, Howard Dean and Mike Wallace have been accepted despite public displays of emotion or admissions of suffering from a mood disorder.
Johnson outlined the characteristics that take a toll on men’s mental health and make it difficult for them to use psychotherapy readily, including gender role strain and conflict. He mentioned how masculine norms impact the therapy process and detailed the advent and development of the new psychology of men.
As the result of decades of working with men as individuals, in groups, and on retreats, Johnson has identified four crisis points in men’s lives (which he details in his upcoming book, Man Up). The four are The Identity Crisis (ages 15 to24); The Mid-Life Crisis (around age 40, which is when a man may first experience “the fall,” such as an affair); TheExistential Crisis (hits between the ages 55 and 65), and TheCompletion Crisis (occurs at some point between 75 and 85).
In a therapy situation, Dr. Johnson feels that cognitive behavioral therapy works best with men. Men like assignments and homework (such as watching a specific film), are able to gain insights from answering questions, and writing an anamnesis, a social psychological history of themselves. He finds that sharing experiences with male clients can create a therapeutic alliance, and he uses humor as an ice-breaker.
Johnson also talked about how female clinicians can best help their male clients. First, women therapists need to ask themselves questions, such as, “How do I view masculinity? Am I afraid of men, or do I dislike men on some level? Can I comfortably explore transference and counter-transference? Can I talk with men in their own language? Am I knowledgeable about the reasons behind many men’s resistance to understanding and experiencing their emotions?” He showed a video that helped us understand how much men can benefit from being in groups of men of all ages.
Therapists, both male and female, can help. “We need to help men explore the most vulnerable aspects of what it means to be a man, and offer compassion, empathy, patience, and a safe haven to explore this vulnerability.” It’s common knowledge that men don’t like going to the doctor, and put off their annual prostate or colonoscopy checkups. Nor do they tend to read or spend money on books, especially books about men. Johnson’s handouts included several pages of books and resources on the psychology of men, which will probably be read by women first, who will then hand them over to men. Hopefully the men will read them: “They need to learn better self-care and therapists can help teach them,” Johnson said.
Dr. Johnson, with the editing assistance of our own Sylvia Cary, is completing a book titled Man Up: The New Masculinity. The focus is on what it takes today to be a good man. Watch for publication in the first half of 2012.
Dr. Johnson offers individual therapy as well as men’s groups in two locations, Woodland Hills and Beverly Hills, plus annual fall and spring retreats. Contact him at www.DrStephenJohnson.com and www.MensCenterLosAngeles.com.
When Dr. Johnson was first licensed in 1972, it was during the Vietnam War, in which 57,000 men and 8 women died. The men who returned home weren’t celebrated as returning soldiers as they had been after World War II. Instead, they came back to anti-war protests and the feminist movement, told they should stop being war-like, get in touch with their innermost feelings, learn how to commit to relationships, share in housework, be nurturing to the children, curb aggression and violence, and integrate their sexuality with love. When men began to do these things and started becoming more passive, the women didn’t like that either. For men, it was a really confusing time. Not surprisingly, there was an increase in the divorce rate in the 1970’s, along with such self-destructive behaviors as addiction.
At that time, it was the women who began entering therapy in droves; but men did not. Psychotherapy, as traditionally practiced, didn’t serve these men well—and still doesn’t.
Men’s thinking has always been, “I can handle it (the “sturdy oak” approach to dealing with the problem).” They havedifficulty recognizing their feelings and expressing them (a
phenomenon termed alexithymia). Historically, men who have shared their feelings in public have been ridiculed, or dismissed as being weak, men such as Maine Senator and presidential candidate Ed Muskie in ‘68 and Missouri Senator Thomas Eagleton, who was dropped from the number two slot on the 1972 democratic ticket after admitting they he’d been treated for depression.
When some men tried to create a men’s movement to balance out the women’s movement and deal with some of their conflicts and issues, they, too, were ridiculed – especially for attending men’s retreats and “beating their chests in the woods.” The result: Men fled. But Johnson stayed put and continued on with his work with men, knowing how much they needed and wanted to better understand themselves.
Dr. Johnson remarked that we’ve made some progress as witnessed by how men like Speaker of the House, John Boehner, quarterback Terry Bradshaw, Howard Dean and Mike Wallace have been accepted despite public displays of emotion or admissions of suffering from a mood disorder.
Johnson outlined the characteristics that take a toll on men’s mental health and make it difficult for them to use psychotherapy readily, including gender role strain and conflict. He mentioned how masculine norms impact the therapy process and detailed the advent and development of the new psychology of men.
As the result of decades of working with men as individuals, in groups, and on retreats, Johnson has identified four crisis points in men’s lives (which he details in his upcoming book, Man Up). The four are The Identity Crisis (ages 15 to24); The Mid-Life Crisis (around age 40, which is when a man may first experience “the fall,” such as an affair); TheExistential Crisis (hits between the ages 55 and 65), and TheCompletion Crisis (occurs at some point between 75 and 85).
In a therapy situation, Dr. Johnson feels that cognitive behavioral therapy works best with men. Men like assignments and homework (such as watching a specific film), are able to gain insights from answering questions, and writing an anamnesis, a social psychological history of themselves. He finds that sharing experiences with male clients can create a therapeutic alliance, and he uses humor as an ice-breaker.
Johnson also talked about how female clinicians can best help their male clients. First, women therapists need to ask themselves questions, such as, “How do I view masculinity? Am I afraid of men, or do I dislike men on some level? Can I comfortably explore transference and counter-transference? Can I talk with men in their own language? Am I knowledgeable about the reasons behind many men’s resistance to understanding and experiencing their emotions?” He showed a video that helped us understand how much men can benefit from being in groups of men of all ages.
Therapists, both male and female, can help. “We need to help men explore the most vulnerable aspects of what it means to be a man, and offer compassion, empathy, patience, and a safe haven to explore this vulnerability.” It’s common knowledge that men don’t like going to the doctor, and put off their annual prostate or colonoscopy checkups. Nor do they tend to read or spend money on books, especially books about men. Johnson’s handouts included several pages of books and resources on the psychology of men, which will probably be read by women first, who will then hand them over to men. Hopefully the men will read them: “They need to learn better self-care and therapists can help teach them,” Johnson said.
Dr. Johnson, with the editing assistance of our own Sylvia Cary, is completing a book titled Man Up: The New Masculinity. The focus is on what it takes today to be a good man. Watch for publication in the first half of 2012.
Dr. Johnson offers individual therapy as well as men’s groups in two locations, Woodland Hills and Beverly Hills, plus annual fall and spring retreats. Contact him at www.DrStephenJohnson.com and www.MensCenterLosAngeles.com.
Michael Gurian's New Book: How Do I Help Him?
Males are underserved in the mental health and helping professions. Boys and men often feel that counselors, therapists, and mental health care professionals are not well informed or educated in what males need. Only one in ten new counselors and social workers is male. The counseling field is losing boys and men at exponential rates, and many parents are faced with taking sons to therapists who don't know how to work with boys as well as girls. How Do I Help Him? addresses the unique needs of boys and men in therapy, counseling and mental health services. Written by Michael Gurian, a mental health counselor for more than twenty years, and one of the world's foremost gender experts, this book provides brain-based gender theory, new science-based practical models, and outcomes-oriented strategic tools for transforming the counseling and psychiatric profession to work better with boys and men. This book is an invaluable resource for parents, as well, if they are taking a boy (or man) into counseling or therapy.
Click HERE for more information.
Click HERE for more information.
Daily Om: Who Am I?
The question of who we are is a seed that can bear much fruit if given the chance to unfold.
At some point in our lives, or perhaps at many points in our lives, we ask the question, “Who am I?” At times like these, we are looking beyond the obvious, beyond our names and the names of the cities and states we came from, into the layers beneath our surface identities. We may feel the need for a deeper sense of purpose in our lives, or we may be ready to accommodate a more complex understanding of the situation in which we find ourselves. Whatever the case, the question of who we are is a seed that can bear much fruit.
It can send us on an exploration of our ancestry, or the past lives of our soul. It can call us to take up journaling in order to discover that voice deep within us that seems to know the answers to a multitude of questions. It can draw our attention so deeply inward that we find the spark of spirit that connects us to every living thing in the universe. One Hindu tradition counsels its practitioners to ask the question over and over, using it as a mantra to lead them inevitably into the heart of the divine.
While there are people who seem to come into the world knowing who they are and why they are here, for the most part the human journey appears to be very much about asking this question and allowing its answers to guide us on our paths. So when we find ourselves in the heart of unknowing, we can have faith that we are in a very human place, as well as a very divine one. “Who am I?” is a timeless mantra, a Zen koan ultimately designed to lead us home, into the part of our minds that finally lets go of questions and answers and finds instead the ability to simply be.
At some point in our lives, or perhaps at many points in our lives, we ask the question, “Who am I?” At times like these, we are looking beyond the obvious, beyond our names and the names of the cities and states we came from, into the layers beneath our surface identities. We may feel the need for a deeper sense of purpose in our lives, or we may be ready to accommodate a more complex understanding of the situation in which we find ourselves. Whatever the case, the question of who we are is a seed that can bear much fruit.
It can send us on an exploration of our ancestry, or the past lives of our soul. It can call us to take up journaling in order to discover that voice deep within us that seems to know the answers to a multitude of questions. It can draw our attention so deeply inward that we find the spark of spirit that connects us to every living thing in the universe. One Hindu tradition counsels its practitioners to ask the question over and over, using it as a mantra to lead them inevitably into the heart of the divine.
While there are people who seem to come into the world knowing who they are and why they are here, for the most part the human journey appears to be very much about asking this question and allowing its answers to guide us on our paths. So when we find ourselves in the heart of unknowing, we can have faith that we are in a very human place, as well as a very divine one. “Who am I?” is a timeless mantra, a Zen koan ultimately designed to lead us home, into the part of our minds that finally lets go of questions and answers and finds instead the ability to simply be.
Walk-on Punter Offers Inspiration for Free
by Bill Plaschke, Los Angeles Times
Kyle Negrete, who kept alive a scoring drive with a fake punt, has played all season without a scholarship. Yet he says, 'Being a Trojan is worth it.'
The ball was snapped to the USC punter and an old football movie broke out.
He tucked the ball high under his right arm. He pumped his legs as if riding a bike. He began running stiff-backed and straight, pumping, pumping through a giant hole in the stunned Washington defense. Only when the punter had covered nearly half of the field did a Husky finally jump in front of him, but the punter kept pumping, flattening his nemesis as they crashed together into 1940.
His first name is actually Kyle, but you get the grainy picture, a wonderful throwback play that was the turning point in USC's 40-17 romp over Washington on Saturday at the Coliseum. It was cool enough that Negrete's 35-yard gallop on a fake punt early in the second quarter kept alive a drive that ended in a touchdown that started the rout, but there's more.
At the end of one of the most disillusioning weeks in college football history, the USC game turned on a kid who plays for free.
Negrete is a walk-on who has punted all season without a scholarship. His father is paying thousands in tuition to give his son the privilege of calling himself a Trojan.
"But that's how I really feel, that being a Trojan is a privilege,'' Negrete said afterward with a sweaty, bearded smile worth millions. "In a way, playing here without a scholarship defines me."
Amid a college football season that has been all about money and its potentially corrupting power, the Kyle Negrete definition is a startling one.
Negrete has 33 punts and zero athletic dining-hall privileges. He has pinned opponents inside the 20-yard line 17 times, yet he receives zero housing stipend.
The fourth-year junior is the only integral part of this team who has to work part time to help pay the bills, which means that when he's not booming kicks, he's busing tables as a server at the Jacks N Joe restaurant near campus.
"Yeah, sometimes I have to serve some of my teammates," he said. ''It's OK…. What are you going to do?"
USC specialists occasionally begin a season without a scholarship. Yet it is unthinkable that one would be a contributor for a full season and still not get paid. But because USC signed a freshman punter last winter and faces future scholarship sanctions, Negrete's father might have to pay more than $50,000 next season before Kyle could take the field.
The only thing more compelling than this fact is Negrete's reaction to it.
"Being a Trojan is worth it," he says. "I'm blessed and thankful that my father can afford it, because you just cannot beat this place."
It was never more worth it to Negrete than in the second quarter Saturday when fullback Ross Cumming called for the fake when the Trojans were facing fourth and nine from their 45-yard line. Negrete knew they were probably going to run the play. Before the game, Coach Lane Kiffin had warned him about it while ordering him to slide as soon as he passed the first-down marker.
"He told me, 'No way am I going to slide,' " Kiffin recalled with a laugh.
Sure enough, he didn't slide, running up the middle and into the arms of cornerback Anthony Gobern, whom he promptly turned into a purple and white flapjack.
"No way was I sliding," repeated Negrete. "I haven't seen green grass like that since I was in high school."
Thousands roared for a kid who, like all walk-ons, does not have a biography in the football media guide. The Trojans found their breath, and five plays later Marc Tyler pushed into the end zone for a one-yard touchdown run to give them a 14-3 lead.
"My run felt like a crushing blow," Negrete said. "But it wasn't about me, it was about all those guys on the field who cleared the way."
Oh, c'mon, let's let Negrete feel as though he did a little crushing, just once, OK?
He is a Fresno kid, the grandson of former Fresno State coach Jim Sweeney, a hard-luck player who spent his first two years at the University of San Diego punting and playing linebacker until back surgery ended his defensive days. He decided to be strictly a punter, and decided he wanted to do it at the home of his childhood Trojans heroes.
He was allowed inside the Trojans' doors last year only because special-teams coach John Baxter was a family friend, then he watched for a season, then he won the job over the summer, and even with no scholarship, he says it immediately felt like home.
"I have never been treated different here because I'm a walk-on," he said. "When they talk about Trojan family, they mean it."
Negrete knows something about family. Before every game, he uses a Magic Marker to draw 5/17/2002 on his left forearm, reminding him of his mother, Patty, who died of breast cancer that day. Under his uniform he wears a white T-shirt that he once gave his mom, reading "Mom's the Bomb."
"I've got a chip on my shoulder to overcome all I've been through," he says. "My mom gave me that toughness."
After the game, it's all tenderness, as he will talk about the game in a phone call to his buddy Joel, a 20-year-old from Fallbrook with autism whom he has mentored for several years in a program he founded at San Diego.
"I'm lucky to be playing for USC, and I want to share that with others," Negrete said.
Lucky to play for USC? No, it is USC that is lucky. In a fake far more impressive than anything Kyle Negrete ran on Saturday, the kid who costs nothing is priceless.
Kyle Negrete, who kept alive a scoring drive with a fake punt, has played all season without a scholarship. Yet he says, 'Being a Trojan is worth it.'
The ball was snapped to the USC punter and an old football movie broke out.
He tucked the ball high under his right arm. He pumped his legs as if riding a bike. He began running stiff-backed and straight, pumping, pumping through a giant hole in the stunned Washington defense. Only when the punter had covered nearly half of the field did a Husky finally jump in front of him, but the punter kept pumping, flattening his nemesis as they crashed together into 1940.
His first name is actually Kyle, but you get the grainy picture, a wonderful throwback play that was the turning point in USC's 40-17 romp over Washington on Saturday at the Coliseum. It was cool enough that Negrete's 35-yard gallop on a fake punt early in the second quarter kept alive a drive that ended in a touchdown that started the rout, but there's more.
At the end of one of the most disillusioning weeks in college football history, the USC game turned on a kid who plays for free.
Negrete is a walk-on who has punted all season without a scholarship. His father is paying thousands in tuition to give his son the privilege of calling himself a Trojan.
"But that's how I really feel, that being a Trojan is a privilege,'' Negrete said afterward with a sweaty, bearded smile worth millions. "In a way, playing here without a scholarship defines me."
Amid a college football season that has been all about money and its potentially corrupting power, the Kyle Negrete definition is a startling one.
Negrete has 33 punts and zero athletic dining-hall privileges. He has pinned opponents inside the 20-yard line 17 times, yet he receives zero housing stipend.
The fourth-year junior is the only integral part of this team who has to work part time to help pay the bills, which means that when he's not booming kicks, he's busing tables as a server at the Jacks N Joe restaurant near campus.
"Yeah, sometimes I have to serve some of my teammates," he said. ''It's OK…. What are you going to do?"
USC specialists occasionally begin a season without a scholarship. Yet it is unthinkable that one would be a contributor for a full season and still not get paid. But because USC signed a freshman punter last winter and faces future scholarship sanctions, Negrete's father might have to pay more than $50,000 next season before Kyle could take the field.
The only thing more compelling than this fact is Negrete's reaction to it.
"Being a Trojan is worth it," he says. "I'm blessed and thankful that my father can afford it, because you just cannot beat this place."
It was never more worth it to Negrete than in the second quarter Saturday when fullback Ross Cumming called for the fake when the Trojans were facing fourth and nine from their 45-yard line. Negrete knew they were probably going to run the play. Before the game, Coach Lane Kiffin had warned him about it while ordering him to slide as soon as he passed the first-down marker.
"He told me, 'No way am I going to slide,' " Kiffin recalled with a laugh.
Sure enough, he didn't slide, running up the middle and into the arms of cornerback Anthony Gobern, whom he promptly turned into a purple and white flapjack.
"No way was I sliding," repeated Negrete. "I haven't seen green grass like that since I was in high school."
Thousands roared for a kid who, like all walk-ons, does not have a biography in the football media guide. The Trojans found their breath, and five plays later Marc Tyler pushed into the end zone for a one-yard touchdown run to give them a 14-3 lead.
"My run felt like a crushing blow," Negrete said. "But it wasn't about me, it was about all those guys on the field who cleared the way."
Oh, c'mon, let's let Negrete feel as though he did a little crushing, just once, OK?
He is a Fresno kid, the grandson of former Fresno State coach Jim Sweeney, a hard-luck player who spent his first two years at the University of San Diego punting and playing linebacker until back surgery ended his defensive days. He decided to be strictly a punter, and decided he wanted to do it at the home of his childhood Trojans heroes.
He was allowed inside the Trojans' doors last year only because special-teams coach John Baxter was a family friend, then he watched for a season, then he won the job over the summer, and even with no scholarship, he says it immediately felt like home.
"I have never been treated different here because I'm a walk-on," he said. "When they talk about Trojan family, they mean it."
Negrete knows something about family. Before every game, he uses a Magic Marker to draw 5/17/2002 on his left forearm, reminding him of his mother, Patty, who died of breast cancer that day. Under his uniform he wears a white T-shirt that he once gave his mom, reading "Mom's the Bomb."
"I've got a chip on my shoulder to overcome all I've been through," he says. "My mom gave me that toughness."
After the game, it's all tenderness, as he will talk about the game in a phone call to his buddy Joel, a 20-year-old from Fallbrook with autism whom he has mentored for several years in a program he founded at San Diego.
"I'm lucky to be playing for USC, and I want to share that with others," Negrete said.
Lucky to play for USC? No, it is USC that is lucky. In a fake far more impressive than anything Kyle Negrete ran on Saturday, the kid who costs nothing is priceless.
Blind Perspective - Volume 2
by Michael Tapia, longtime member of Sacred Path
[The following article is the second in a chronology of Michael's progressive loss of his eyesight. They form a remarkable story of courage and an indomitable will to live.]
The drive home from the ophthalmologist took an eternity. I had just gone blind temporarily for ten days and had a lot to process. My friend Mauricio was deep in thought, and it felt strange not seeing anything out of the car window. I could hear the traffic around me and sirens in the far distance. Time slowed to a crawl and I was suddenly aware of living in the moment. I broke the silence and asked Mauricio where we might be.
“We’re near Normandie and Melrose,” he said.
“Close to City College?” I asked. I realized we were near the Braille Institute. I recalled I had often avoided blind people. I shuddered with guilt, surprised at my own phobia of people who were different. I counted my blessings that my blindness was temporary.
We arrived at my apartment. Mauricio was very careful to guide me to the living room and my favorite chair.
“Can I get you something to drink?” he asked kindly.
“Sure! How about a bottle of Kendall Jackson Chardonnay 1989?” I asked jokingly.
“There you go again, making light of things,” he said with concern.
“I’ll be fine. I just have to get in touch with my inner ‘Helen’ - you know – Helen Keller?” I said, goading him.
Just then, my cats jumped onto my lap, meowing with curiosity. Zacky and Momma Girl were brother and sister. I held them tightly and reveled at feeling something I could readily identify and recognize.
I convinced Mauricio that I needed time alone to plan my next ten days of blindness. I sat in my chair, in the silence, cuddled my cats and began to visualize my living room. I slowly got up, trailed the nearest wall, found the bookshelf, another wall, the doorstop, and the short hallway to my bedroom. I stubbed my foot on the nightstand and slowly approached my bed. I visualized the bedroom and the windows still open from the night before. I could smell the jasmine as I curled up against my favorite pillow. I was lying on my side when I felt Zacky jump directly on my thigh, startling me. He crawled higher onto my side and put his paw on my face. I patted his paw and reassured him that we were all going to be just fine. I felt Momma Girl curl up behind me. Nestled by my two Griffins, I squeezed the pillow tightly and wept.
[The following article is the second in a chronology of Michael's progressive loss of his eyesight. They form a remarkable story of courage and an indomitable will to live.]
The drive home from the ophthalmologist took an eternity. I had just gone blind temporarily for ten days and had a lot to process. My friend Mauricio was deep in thought, and it felt strange not seeing anything out of the car window. I could hear the traffic around me and sirens in the far distance. Time slowed to a crawl and I was suddenly aware of living in the moment. I broke the silence and asked Mauricio where we might be.
“We’re near Normandie and Melrose,” he said.
“Close to City College?” I asked. I realized we were near the Braille Institute. I recalled I had often avoided blind people. I shuddered with guilt, surprised at my own phobia of people who were different. I counted my blessings that my blindness was temporary.
We arrived at my apartment. Mauricio was very careful to guide me to the living room and my favorite chair.
“Can I get you something to drink?” he asked kindly.
“Sure! How about a bottle of Kendall Jackson Chardonnay 1989?” I asked jokingly.
“There you go again, making light of things,” he said with concern.
“I’ll be fine. I just have to get in touch with my inner ‘Helen’ - you know – Helen Keller?” I said, goading him.
Just then, my cats jumped onto my lap, meowing with curiosity. Zacky and Momma Girl were brother and sister. I held them tightly and reveled at feeling something I could readily identify and recognize.
I convinced Mauricio that I needed time alone to plan my next ten days of blindness. I sat in my chair, in the silence, cuddled my cats and began to visualize my living room. I slowly got up, trailed the nearest wall, found the bookshelf, another wall, the doorstop, and the short hallway to my bedroom. I stubbed my foot on the nightstand and slowly approached my bed. I visualized the bedroom and the windows still open from the night before. I could smell the jasmine as I curled up against my favorite pillow. I was lying on my side when I felt Zacky jump directly on my thigh, startling me. He crawled higher onto my side and put his paw on my face. I patted his paw and reassured him that we were all going to be just fine. I felt Momma Girl curl up behind me. Nestled by my two Griffins, I squeezed the pillow tightly and wept.
Continued in next issue
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