Impressions of the Spring Retreat by Participants and Staff

Hello My Brothers:

I returned from my first Sacred Path/Call To Adventure retreat one week ago, and haven’t stopped thinking about my experience since. I resisted, for nearly four years, attending a “men’s spiritual retreat” for myriad reasons. I couldn’t possibly be away from my family for an entire precious weekend. I didn’t find the thought of three days around a bunch of “touchy feely men” particularly appealing. I need my own bed and private space. I don’t like to be in situations where I have to meet new people. I’m neither athletic nor coordinated. And on and on I kept telling myself no.

 
But this year, as a step on my path to self-discovery and spiritual enlightenment, I decided to put my fears and excuses behind me. Arriving at the Hilltop camp on Thursday afternoon, I proceeded to assign myself to a cabin that at the time had no one else in it. Great, I can isolate and have some privacy…I thought. But no….the forces of the universe were not going to let me get away with my typical “safe” choices. My cabin mates or “tribe” soon were comprised of seven teenaged young African-American men from South LA. I quickly resisted, telling myself that this wasn’t going to work for me. After all, I came to commune with other like-minded adult men. But then, the first of many shifts in my consciousness occurred. I quieted my thoughts long enough to hear my inner voice, which told me that there was a reason I was put into this circumstance…there was something that I needed to learn from this experience. Transformation occurred and I spent the rest of the weekend rejoicing in the profoundly rewarding and emotionally moving experience of sharing that space with these young men.

This set the stage for a weekend that was ALL about breakthroughs. Breakthroughs in my own limiting beliefs about what physical challenges I am capable of, whom I can relate to and trust, and perhaps most importantly, what I am able to give back. There were ample opportunities over the three days for me to trust other men…and for other men to trust me. The ropes course and sweat lodge required me to be my most trusting...but also for me to be trustworthy.

There were so many moving moments. The heartfelt sharing that men, young and old, offered during the candle-lit community time as well as in the darkness of the sweat lodge. The profound dignity in Andrew Soliz sharing his native customs and practices was unforgettable. Witnessing others and then experiencing for myself the feelings of adrenaline and accomplishment of the ropes course. Watching young men declare to themselves to leave behind that which limits them, and then cross the symbolic bridge to manhood…and then taking those same steps myself was exhilarating beyond words. Over the entire weekend I kept noticing how much I was feeling. I have never felt my feelings so much. All my emotions were literally in my throat, ready to come up and out……rather than remaining pushed deep inside my being. By Sunday, I felt tired and drained but also alive and vital like I never have.

I thank Dr. Stephen Johnson for continuing to encourage me to attend retreat for all these years and I thank Dr. J and all the other men on staff for creating a sacred environment and series of events that truly opened my heart to acceptance, communication and a renewed belief that I actually can find my true purpose in life.

Sterling Meredith

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I thought the retreat was a great success. I saw change, not only in my boys, but in several of our South Central friends that at first seemed near impossible. I thought Lorenzo and Ryan (my boys) were not getting what they needed through all the distractions, but later I came to find out they got soooooo... much. They came home with humility and gratitude that I could never have provided without the challenges of that weekend. Ryan has told me that he was reborn. One young man in my tribe, who on Thursday night at tribe meeting could not wait to escape, had transformed so much by Sunday morning that he expressed in a tribe meeting that he came to respect us and told us he appreciated what we were doing and that he held for us "much love".

Charlie Lagola

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Dear Brother Steve B. & Dr. J,

I wish to state that this was the best retreat I've been a part of. All of our youths seemed to take something home with them. I ran into a few of the boys and everyone can't wait for our next event.

I wish to ask that we hold a ceremony at the park in their honor as we reward them in front of their parents, families and friends. Every kid I've come across looks different now.

Please let the brothers know we are so thankful for all of their help. We know it wasn't easy dealing with so many inner city kids but I can tell you from my heart that this group will never forget the guys. Please let them know the young men say thank you for giving them a chance to learn to be better men.

Your retreat is such a powerful blessing. Please know that even Marvo felt the energy as we arrived home.

Yes, we should have a day to say good job to the young men who attended. I'm working on building a team of men who will join the team and do the work needing to be done once the young men come off the hill.

I'm so honored to know you and have you as a brother. I feel the hope in my community due to lessons I've learned from you and the men. Wiz feels grateful to have been able to be a part of the retreat and he now has the power to ensure C.U.R.E. and A Better LA are involved.

I had a wonderful talk with coach Carroll''s daughter the other day. We talked for 30 minutes about the retreat and the desire to do more. She will become a strong voice for us soon. Lets find a date to honor the young men and invite coach and all those who we feel need to see this in action. Idea! Why not Mothers Day? Or the day before? What better gift then to have moms see their sons honored for learning to be men. Let me know what you think.

Please know that I'm working hard to find a way to say "thank you" to the Men's Center family for giving inner city children hope. Dr. J, your program is giving kids a better vision of life. Now our kids know what real men look like. Now our kids know that real men can cry, hug, argue, and forgive. Our kids were able to learn first hand that Grown Boys talk about it... and Grown Men get it done!

I'll contact the parks people to get dates. I'm so impressed by the kids who went to this year’s retreat. Each one has shown me they understand the mission. I see hope in eyes that once seemed blank. I'm now seeking men to join me in the park for monthly meetings where we build trust and respect for each other.
I see so much good going on now. I feel hope now. In the coming months I pledge to keep the spirit of the retreat going.

Don't put to much stress on yourself. Your family needs you and we will work around whatever dates we can get that allow us all to be there.

Again, thank you for sharing such a blessing with our youth. Soon it's gonna be hard for those who suffer from hopelessness to deny that your program works.

In closing, I thank Wiz and the .C.U.R.E. family for paying for the transportation to and from the mountain. Bless everyone who made it possible for so many kids to experience such a wonderful event.

Much Love and Respect,

Cameron Bonner