Director's message for November

November 1, 2009

A few weekends ago while I was out of town, I checked my e-mail and noticed that I was beginning to receive a flurry of messages from a variety of sources sending me breaking news updates regarding an unfolding crisis at a retreat in Sedona, Arizona. As it turned out, one of the events during the retreat was a Sweat Lodge that apparently had gone terribly wrong, and several people attending the Lodge had collapsed and become quite debilitated, including a few people that died as a consequence. Paramedics were called in to administer first aid and a number of participants had been whisked to the hospital. I have read and watched televised accounts of this tragic event and have spoken to those concerned with how this might impact our work.

I received a message from friends of mine, Hank and Mariangela, who have a retreat site in Springdale, Utah, called The Center for True North. Hank had attended a number of Sacred Path retreats and is an Emeritus member of our Wisdom Council. Mariangela has written a letter to James Arthur Ray, the individual who conducted the retreat and ran the Sweat Lodge. I am including at her behest the letter in this newsletter along with my response to Mariangela and Hank.

Our 22nd Annual Fall Sacred Path Men’s Retreat took place last weekend. We had just under 50 participants, including staff. The number attending was shy of our average but consistent with what one might anticipate due to the economy and other factors. The quantity of attendees was down somewhat but the quality of the participants was quite high. It was quite evident that the men came to do their work by going deep and connecting intimately and Mindfully. There were some surprise appearances from men who could not participate in the entire weekend but also who could not stay away. At times during the weekend I would look up and see a familiar face, a member of our community who knew that even being on retreat a couple of days was worth it. I’m happy to report that Tom Couper’s encounter with a scorpion was not more serious. He felt much better on Monday and the scorpion may have regretted having to sting Tom, but the men at the fire pit who attended to Tom allowed the critter to go his way without harm. Thank you, Tom, for being the good and stalwart man that you have demonstrated so consistently even under duress.

With thanks to the well-placed guidance of Steve Branker and the other key members of our Wisdom Council, I found the structure, continuity and depth of the program to be solid, smooth and profound. The men who facilitated the breakout sessions, including Nick Rath’s sessions on parenting, Dan Franklin’s sessions on intimate relationships, Phillip Jennings’ martial arts sessions and John Mafrici’s Sacred Breathing sessions served us well. I am also grateful to Andrew and Thomas who poured water for our Sweat Lodge ceremonies. Their blend of humor and compassion went a long way to easing the angst of enduring a challenging experience, especially for first timers.

I had attempted to record the five talks that I presented on the Mindfulness practices and the issues pertinent to most men these days. Unfortunately, due to technical difficulties only two of the presentations were actually recorded. I am placing the talk on Patience and Shame on the blog so that those that were on retreat who would like to listen to it again may do so, and those that would like to know more of what we deal with on retreat can have a listen.

I indicated to those on retreat that we currently have no money in our scholarship account, having awarded approximately $6,000 in scholarships to approximately 25 boys from the inner city who attended our Call to Adventure Retreat last April. I asked men to consider whether they would like to participate in a Call to Adventure Retreat this coming April or another Men’s retreat instead. If we were to hold a CTA retreat we would need to have enough men who wanted to attend as a father and son team, by bringing one or more other young men who are family members, or who are being mentored. If we were to invite mentors and boys from the inner city to attend, we would need to have donations into our scholarship account in order to subsidize their participation.

What I’m asking of the community is to let me know if you can support a CTA retreat by committing to attend through early enrollment and /or providing donations into our Walter Atkinson Memorial Scholarship Fund. If you would prefer to have another men’s retreat in April please indicate that preference. I will need to make the decision by the 1st of the New Year as to what we’re doing in April. If we are holding a CTA and offering scholarships to inner city youth, I will put a program in place to get to know the boys who will be attending in advance and set it up so that they earn the right to attend the retreat by demonstrating the ability to participate at a level that will support all in attendance rather than being a distraction or bringing chaos into the retreat. I am also requesting of the mentors from South Central LA that they assist by raising a good portion of the scholarship proceeds from those within their ranks and support systems willing to help.

I have not made the firm commitment to the camp for an April retreat. It is my intention to complete and publish my book in 2010, and that has become a priority. I have reduced the one-day events to 3 this coming year from the 6 that I’ve facilitated each year for the past few years, and I’m also willing to forgo a retreat in the spring unless I have enough indication and support to allow it to be effortless.

The next one-day event will be held at Holy Spirit Retreat Center in Encino on Saturday, February 6th. This will be a colloquium style Gathering of Men, a day designed to explore through talks, processes and talking-stick large-group and small-group sessions what it takes to be a good man these days. It should serve as a reunion for those who have attended past retreats as well as an opportunity to introduce new men to our community. We will not be conducting Sacred Breathing sessions but we will have a couple of meditation periods. This will be an interactive day focused on the salient issues pertinent to men in their 20’s up through the more senior years of development. We will deal with health, relationship, work and the potential crisis points in men’s lives and how to avoid them and heal from them. Please mark your calendars now to save the date. More information and a registration form will be provided a little later.

Wishing you and your family a wonderful Thanksgiving.
Stephen