By Dan Franklin, MFT, Director of Counseling Services
As an unabashed Los Angeles Laker fan for the last thirty years, I was unapologetically, emotionally moved by the ring ceremony before their first game this season. I trust and hope many of you saw it. Perhaps some of you were moved by it as I was. It actually brought tears to my eyes. In an unusual departure from typical ceremonies of this sort, each player introduced and praised another of his teammates. The resulting embraces and display of respect, love and affection they have for one another was clearly evident and undoubtedly one of the reasons why this team or any team, be it in sports or in life, succeeds to the degree that this team has succeeded. Talent and ability are important factors in life, but esprit de corps, loyalty and trust moves mountains and apparently win championships.
All this was reinforced by Bill Plaschke the next day in his article in the sports section of the Los Angeles Times. While a marvelous writer, Bill’s not always a sentimentalist by any stretch of the imagination. Here he spoke of “hugs and mutual respect”. It’s the kind of expression men aren’t always comfortable with, but can often be found in followers of sport. It immediately brought to mind our very recent Sacred Path Retreat, typically an extraordinary event, but this one was championship caliber as every man there could attest to. That same commitment to each other to operate as a trusting, caring team was evident throughout the week-end. Men don’t often find these kind of opportunities to be there for each other as is found in sports or in real combat for that matter. It’s one reason why many men look to their own playing days on sports teams or the military as among the most meaningful days of their lives.
We did a fire-walk this time, as others may share in this newsletter. I’ll leave it to them to share the details. It is enough to say it was quite an experience. As a metaphor, it parallels the walk through fire that any sports team of men or boys, or females for that matter, go through to end an arduous season with victory. In the Lakers case, it was a repeat championship, no easy task. In our case, it was a victory over fear, doubt and our own sense of limitation.
Plaschke in his article went on to say “the Lakers were champions because they were connected, and Tuesday’s memorable ceremony put a face on that connection while giving voice to its strength”. Our retreats are special because the men on the mountain are connected as well. While we don’t have a long season to grow and bond together, many of us have been attending for over twenty years, and the newest “teammates” seem to quickly find their place among us. It is a recipe that quickly cooks into a richly flavored stew of friendship, camaraderie and trust that is necessary for the events to work. And work they do.
Just as the Lakers have a proud tradition of success, so do the men of the Sacred Path, and my hat’s off to both teams. Both are winners, dedicated to excellence, determination and the love of the experience undertaken and each other. It is part of what’s not just good but what’s great about being a man. May the Lakers and the Men of the Sacred Path know many victories in the future - and in the end - for both teams - it isn’t so much about winning as how you play the game - in sports and in life.
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