Mitch Roth's Review of the July Practicum

The July Practicum brought together some men who have been taking these Practicums with some that never had. Nevertheless everyone benefited from the mix of the 20 or so participants. One of the men, one that I brought, is named Curt. Curt has been home from Afghanistan now for 17 months. He came home a few weeks short of his tour of duty because his wife of 15 years committed suicide. I had breakfast with Curt this morning. He credits his time spent with us in the Practicum with a breakthrough regarding the pain surrounding the issues involved in his loss and in his life. I am, of course, happy for Curt. I know I’ll see him in other Practicums and up on the Mountain in October. But, the energy of his grief touched a place in each man attending the July event and helped open the gates that so often remain shut, blocking our work and our joy.

Curt, though, was not the only catalyst in the group, not at all. Another ingredient in the soup that makes each meal of “men’s work” unique was the hurt and betrayal and the ultimate reclaiming of our right to innocence that was contributed by another man. I don’t have permission to use his name, so I won’t. But, his issues were rooted in early childhood sexual abuse. The path to growth for all of us illumined by his presence at the Practicum was not the result of the specifics of his issue, but rather by our common need to deal with defenselessness against the betrayal of trust and the confusion engendered. Although never sexually abused myself in childhood, I was abused by an older brother and not protected by my mother, or by my father, for that matter. The experience of defenselessness and betrayal of trust and the resulting confusion were just as real for me, and were triggered by my sharing of the process of this man.

By now, I have assisted Stephen in lots of these events. Yet, I shared with the group that this was the first time that I absorbed so much of the energies of those participating that I had to sit down on a chair by myself and weep. This still was not enough of a clearing, and I felt compelled to go into a rebirthing process myself just to be able to go on.

One of our cats likes to come into our bed at night and in the morning. Maggie the cat, my wife tells me, “LOVES me.” Well, I don’t know about that. But, she does often and almost immediately flip onto her back and expose her belly to me and luxuriates in the belly scratching that follows. I mention this because I appreciate the profound trust implied. Cats don’t like to expose their bellies because in that position they are most vulnerable. The work we do in these Practicums, and on the mountain during our retreats, is like that. We expose our bellies to each other and experience a level of vulnerability and trust that is extra-ordinary, as that word is literally defined. Although sometimes scary and sometimes painful, it is also the most elevating experience I can by choice invite.

For those in our community that don’t take full advantage of the opportunities presented by Dr. Johnson’s work, and the work of the Sacred Path community, I urge you to “drink your fill.” Don’t deprive yourself and your loved ones of the benefits of the work.

Namaste


Mitchell Roth