Rich Manners' Review of July Practicum

First of all, I must say that it was indeed an honor to be able to assist in some way the men who attended the July practicum. The level of courage shown by the participants was to me absolutely stunning. Half of the 22 participants were new, and yet there was no hesitation in their participating full-bore in the activities. I believe that the willingness of one of the men in particular to be totally open to his wounds and pain in the Sacred Breathing exercise was a catalyst to the others in feeling safe to reach down into themselves and come to grips with their own torment. The profundity of these processes was truly remarkable.

For me, the subject of the day’s focus, that of refraining, hit the nail on the head. The process of refraining is, in short, to recognize my reflexive reaction to a person or situation, and instead of just going along with it, to stop and analyze my feeling and thinking, and to refrain from making the usual negative response. Instead, I would take the time to think: will this action be of service to me? Will it be of service to the other person? Will it help or hurt the situation? Then I would consciously react.

In my life, I have always felt unseen and unheard, so when someone cuts me off in traffic or unthinkingly says something that triggers my wound about not being noticed, my usual reaction would be to fly into a rage. The process of refraining really cuts into this gut reflex, and probably for the first time in my life, I have a tool to help me stop this process that, at the very least, eats into me, and at the worst, provokes a dangerous situation between me and the person by whom I feel wounded. I don’t mean to say that it works every time, but at least I try to bring it into play when I become conscious of the trigger being pulled. Each time it works, I become more confident that it will work the next time I need it. These tools we are being taught are so radically different because they offer a real hands-on solution to so many things in our lives that ordinarily would set us off.