Friday, October 1, 2010

Rich Manners: Review of September 25 "Day for Men and Women"

The Day for Men and Women held on September 25th was an overflowing cornucopia of information dealing with both relationships between couples and with one’s relationship to oneself. The six presenters – Dr. Stephen Johnson, Andrea Fisher, Catherine DeMonte, Dan Franklin, Dr. Bruce Derman and Gina Cloud, had so much knowledge and good counsel to share that we had a problem keeping to the time limits.

Dr. Johnson spoke on the importance of mindfulness in relationships between men and women as well as that of staying in the now, not wasting time either on rehashing past problems or being apprehensive about future difficulties.

Andrea Fisher used her own fascinating life story to illustrate how her own psychotherapy and a fierce determination to find her own path to joy and contentment could be a model for anyone wishing to attain balance and self-realization.

Catherine DeMonte stressed the need for balance in one's life and relationships using the metaphor of a table with 4 legs representing the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual parts of one's being, and that if we fall short in any one or more areas, the legs will not be even and the table - and the relationship - will be out of balance.

Dan Franklin’s presentation centered around the deconstruction of false beliefs (such as, “I must always be perfect”) that each of us carry with us, keeping us from living in the present and robbing us of energy that we could be using for positive action. These beliefs need not be replaced with other beliefs, but instead can be eliminated entirely, leaving us open to live 100% of the time.

Dr. Derman spoke on the subject of his new book, The Hole, in which he describes the one thing that all of us fear: emptiness. He declared that in order to attain true peace of mind and happiness, each of us must not ignore the hole or emptiness inside us and in our relationships with each other, but get to know and befriend it.

Gina Cloud introduced us to material from her new book, W.O.M.A.N. She related how women in today’s American culture have abandoned the roles that nature intended for them, such as receptivity, softness, nurturing, yielding, and tranquility, balancing the heat, solidity, and aggressiveness of men’s yang with their yin. They have also minimized the spiritual importance of their cyclical nature and have adopted the linear nature of men.

Some of the participants evinced a desire for more processes, sacred breathing and talking-stick work that are usually offered at our practicums. Still others mentioned that even though they would have liked to hear more personal information from the participants, they did walk away with a lot of valuable instruction and enjoyed connecting with others. Although the workshop received mixed reviews, many of us felt that it was a worthy experiment that garnered much needed information for us all.

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